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WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:35:07 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Okay, take a look at my profile....
is there anything wrong with it? Is there anything wrong with the way I word the profile? Is it the way I come across while I type?

For the life of me I cannot sustain a conversation (intelligent or otherwise) that lasts more than a few messages without getting pushed away.
Why must I pull teeth? I think I am attractive and I am myself. That is all I can offer.

Bah...

This may be me merely venting my perplexing frustrations. As a male submissive it feels like I live in a world full of fakery. I will admit I have a step up from the rest of my competition....

I am intelligent, creative, SINGLE, HAVE A JOB, and CARE FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN MYSELF.

And yet....

nothing. 1 and 1/2 years later.... nothing.

So let me ask this again....

Is there anything wrong with my profile?
Is there anything I can change to help my chances any more?

Thank You.

Post #: 1

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:47:16 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

What's your favorite movie?

What do you like to do on weekends and days off?

What do you find funny, or scary, or beautiful?

How do you feel about the President? The last vote on American Idol?

These are things that would be great to know.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 2

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:49:55 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I prefer it to most of the drivel I read here. I will say it is rather curt in areas. Keep in mind you are seeking to serve someone. This is like mouthing off to someone with whom you are interviewing. You've stated your position very clearly, but did so in a way that is not terribly palatable at times. I am not saying you were disrespectful, but a bit more courtesy even when you feel the need to be direct would help.

For the record, a year and a half? How long would you wait for the most amazing thing ever to come into your life? Think of it that way and hopefully you can see that it is worth whatever the wait. Best wishes!

lovingpet

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 3

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:50:01 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

I, I, I, I, I, I, I not one thing about how you will make My life easier.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 4

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:54:29 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

Tell about yourself.. your profile came across, to me, as a how to manual for your ideal of a domme.

It left me with the impression of just another despirate, horney young man. Tell what it is that you have to offer other than your cock and balls.

What skills do you have? What makes you useful to another person? What I read is that you can clean and take notes. What is entertaining about you? That sort of thing. Your profile is pretty standard and run of the mill.

In short. you come across as a typical 22 year old. "I want- I need- I expect."

Perhaps if you focus your interest on getting to know the domme first.. the rest will fall into place. If she is interested- she'll ask you what you like. See what I mean?

Good luck :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 7/31/2009 7:00:00 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 5

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:56:34 PM

bamabbwsub

Posts: 566
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline

Hi pyro,
Although I'm not a Domme, I am a woman, so I feel qualified to give my .02 worth to your question.

From what I read, the first part of your profile reads like a man's wet dream. Is this really submission, or is it topping from the bottom? "I want to do this, this, and this," you say. So...where does the Domme fit in there? Most of the Dommes (or male Doms, for that matter) of my acquaintance don't appreciate their subs setting the scene. That's the Dom/me's job.

The other part is where you state your hard limits -- first, stating your dislike for women asking you for money, and then sounding a bit condescending ("Come on now? Do I have to explain myself on this one?") about children and animals. While expressing hard limits is not a bad thing, you might just want to list them. It won't really matter *why* they are hard limits; if she doesn't agree with them, she won't contact you anyway.

Overall, you seem very intelligent and articulate, but maybe you should tone down a few things. One of the most important things to remember about writing is to remember who your audience is. :)

Best of luck!

_____________________________

"Everyone is normal until you get to know them." - Dave Sim

I rescue animals. My pockets and gas tank are always empty. My home is always hairy and my inbox full of sadness, but my heart is full when seeing those that are saved.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 6

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 6:58:57 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I will take this all into account. Thank You.

Oh... and CatdeMedici...

Everyone has a different life. I do not know how to specifically serve everyone.... but I will keep it general.
I do understand that you own a ranch which is tough work which I would thoroughly enjoy doing.

But yes, thank you.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 7

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 7:01:06 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Aside from the age difference and the fact that I'm poly and he isn't, I think it's frickin' great! It's soooo important to know yourself, know what you want, need and are able to live without or are willing to give up. He seems to be very well spoken and have some idea of what he wants out of life.

As you can see pyro... you're going to find a lot of different responses here. Different people like different things. Best advice I could offer you would be just keep on keepin' on, be yourself and it will happen for you. But it takes time, sometimes a lot more time then we think we are willing to dedicate to it.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 8

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 7:01:51 PM

FemdomMistressBE

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/27/2009
Status: offline

Your profile doesn't appeal at all to Me. I guess somewhere in the world should be someone who would find it appealing, but I can't imagine Myself. You don't seem submissive at all to Me. And it's just not a polite way to address to a Domina. You only talk about things you 'want'. Your whole profile sounds like demands on how a Domina should be. But not what you can mean to her, what your intentions are. Why you are interested in this kind of relationship.

For example... you should have no need for My money, I have no need for yours.....Who do you think is paying for all the fetish clothes, the playroom, the attributes? Easy for you to say. It costs a fortune.... you can have your own opinion... but narrow it down to shortly stating them

the only part I find ok in your profile is following (with some small adjustments) :

I can do:

Domestic Chores - Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean! Mop, Sweep, Dishes, Laundry, Sanitize. CLEAN.

Secretarial Work - Take notes, messages, reminders, paperwork. Shh... it is a secret to everybody.

Be quite a gentleman - I am quite polite and do not like stepping on toes. Please be quite a lady. = what the hell do you mean by this last sentence?

If that special lady has come this far in reading my profile:

I request cuddling, love, affection, guidance, help grooming (bad fingernail picking habit), reminders to eat food (I get so busy I forget), and most of all... = totally wrong in My eyes, you can't 'request' anything, can I sugest something like : I'd be very thankfull to receive...

a long term commitment to a dedicated being.

As a mandatory 'here are my kinks' part of my profile... besides the hard limits there is very little I will not do.

I do have a particular liking to having my arms bound behind my back or having my flexibility tested in bondage.

I have gained the ability to purr (both kitten-like and heavy sound that sounds like a demon tiger) and I do like acting like a valued pet... that can do other things other than be cute. Cages are awesome too.

I beg for pain. Nothing too mutilating... or... cutting....

heavy impact, floggers, crops, whips (I realize that they can cut).

< Message edited by FemdomMistressBE -- 7/31/2009 7:09:16 PM >

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 9

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 7:16:29 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

1.) I am not yet owned by anyone. Everyone is equal to me at this point. If I have to earn the title of being somebodies slave/submissive then that special lady must earn the title of Mistress.
2.) My submission to you is immaterial. I have no need for shiny fetish clothing. I can make the implements of my own torture. I can braid (for some reason I know how). I can make my own cage.
3.) And if you are wondering about my attitude...

I have been jerked around on this website so many times...
so many times.
That it has literally brought me to the point of tears.
I understand that I am me. There is nothing I can do to change this.
If you cannot take me for me...
well.
dont take me.

I am a result of the lifestyle that is stereotyped and perpetuated by media.
I am rather sweet in person.

EDIT: Again, thanks everyone, i may just start my profile from scratch.

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 7/31/2009 7:56:19 PM >

(in reply to FemdomMistressBE)

Post #: 10

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 7:53:27 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

pyro, I think the main thing to remember is that even under the guise of D/s or BDSM, there is a relationship, there is a ying and a yang, a-- I can do this but I need you to do that. If you can approach it in the vein, you might be more successful--and remember, no one, I don't care who it is, lives the kink 24/7 but they DO live the relationship and that is, at the end of the day what binds two people together.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 11

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:05:05 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Pyro,

Your profile has a sense of anger and bitterness about it. I don't blame you - God knows I might feel bitter in your position too. But I'd imagine it's hard for people to feel drawn to you in it. I think you might come across like the internet equivalent of the man at the bar who seems intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive - indeed, all sorts of good things - but who is on his own because the brooding expression on his face warns people away. 'This man', they'll think, 'isn't going to be cheerful company'.

I think that the thing a profile just must do, no matter how the writer feels underneath, is show that he wants to be friendly. A woman who reads it must feel that she'll get a friendly reply if she writes to you. A little more humour in your profile text would help. Show that you're human and want to connect with someone in a human way first and a D/s way very much second.

Lastly, I think you need to get creative and imaginative with that main pic. Yours isn't bad, but it doesn't stick out. Something eye-catching would be good.

I don't think D/s is any different to the vanilla world in one important respect. It took me literally decades to learn this: that the men who are 'successful' with women aren't the clever ones, the handsome ones, the cool ones, the ones with big cars, wallets or dicks . . . they're the ones who are just friendly with them.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 12

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:14:27 PM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

I thought it was a bit egocentric, but he's 22, of course he is! I liked it, you come across as a real person with spirit.

I'm not saying don't take some of the very good advice offered here, but make sure you keep YOU in there.

Also, there is a great thread (do a search) for males on how to approach females here. If you have not read that, I highly suggest it. I have literally receied 100's of emails in the last month. A very small percentage followed the simple guidelines given in that thread.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 13

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:19:13 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Personally, I didn't get past Florida. Geographically speaking, it's not going to work no matter how wonderful you are. Same as with Peon. *shrug* I'd love to get my mits on him, but it's not going to happen so why get all worked up over it?

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 14

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:27:48 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

PyroAquatic, you're in Florida???? There's a bazillion femdoms in Florida. Turn the computer off and go to the Fetish Factory. Meet some people.

http://www.fetish-factory.com/

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 15

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:31:16 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline

Same basic feedback here as I gave you via c-mail:
I think your new profile has a negativistic bent that your old profile didn't have.
Imo, you have the capacity if the desire exists to word things in a decisive yet less seemingly negative fashion.
And, of course, best wishes in that which you seek! :>
Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 16

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:39:53 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

I'm going to think upon this. Reflect. My thoughts are racing through my head faster than I can comprehend them. Something has me all twisted up.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 17

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 7/31/2009 8:50:55 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

In your case things will probably boil down to persistence and faith. On CBS SUNDAY MORNING this week, a national geographic photographer was profiled. He said the key to filming animals in the wild was to wait and deal with them on their terms.

It struck me as a kind of larger metaphor, because many things in life have to "happen" and cannot be made to happen.

Respect others, learn about yourself, gain experience --- keep on living and preparing --- and you will know you've done your part. At 22, time is on your side.

Good luck.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 18

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 8/1/2009 2:41:20 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Okay... I changed the wording and the negativity should be positive.

I'm going to go back to cleaning now.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 19

RE: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS? - 8/1/2009 3:07:25 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

PyroAquatic, you're in Florida???? There's a bazillion femdoms in Florida. Turn the computer off and go to the Fetish Factory. Meet some people.

http://www.fetish-factory.com/

*cracks knuckles* (in my best Soprano's voice) s'You wants, i could maybe introduce 'em to a couple'o my buddies? i'm sure da goils'll have no problem bustin his balls, work 'im over real good! Tell me what you wanna do Godbrudda...and it's done...He'll have a pair of stugats that look like two plump ravioli when they're done wit' em!!!

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 20

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