Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

wondering


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> wondering Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
wondering - 8/1/2009 5:54:48 PM   
TheOSON


Posts: 3
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline 		Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 5:59:49 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve


Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 6:00:30 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline 		Because it's a wide world, and for some people, it is about the physical acts... the bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. For some people it is about something emotional. For some it is about service. For most, it is an ever-varying mix of these things and many, many more.

Suffice to say that there are -many- here (at least from what I've seen from my own time on the boards) who have plenty to say about not -only- the physical, but the emotional, intellectual, esoteric, philosophical, ethical, visceral, psychological, and even -spiritual- aspects of our lives, as reflected through the broad compass of what we do to one another with bodies, energy (power), and authority, so if you're looking for others of like mind... dig a little deeper. Scratch below the surface. Judge the book by more than its cover... they're here.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/1/2009 6:01:04 PM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 6:06:32 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Because BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochism which are mostly physical acts.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 8/1/2009 6:07:09 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 7:00:47 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		so is D/d encompassed by BDSM or is it the other way around?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 7:03:45 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

Perhaps because not everyone see's it the same way. For some, it is JUST a physical act; for others, it is not.

Neither way is more or less, better or worse...just different; as people are different.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 7:08:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Just wondering why so many these days feel the need to define for everyone else what they ought to get out of BDSM.

Not to mention that some of us aren't service oriented.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 7:34:33 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		For the same reason people voted for Sarah Palin---because they can.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 8:44:48 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		False ego identification.

It is human nature to believe that fulfillment/love comes from the external activities and external relations. The simple truth is what everybody actually experiences, but seldom sees. Fulfillment/love arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's very own heart. It cannot be given or taken. One can only share the love they always have, and inspire it to arise within another.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 9:05:46 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Because people have free will. 
  Davan
(Who makes spelling errors herself sometimes but agrees with antipode's request)

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 9:31:44 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		We've noticed that change too. BDSM has gotten to be more of a physical and sexual thing. Not saying that everyone in BDSM is into that aspect but more newbees are into strapon, chastity, cum on command, and other physical fetishes and not so much into SERVING. We prefer to hear from subs into real slavery and who aren't selfish but really like pleasing the dom. But is it getting more rare and is it a sign of the times of the world around us all? Maybe the change is not only in BDSM? Or maybe lots of newbees are trying BDSM because it's IN style? That would mean the amount of novices have increased and that would explain why so many assume it's a physical and sexual act. That theory makes the most sense.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 9:51:24 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Piffle.
BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.
Not all people are into service.
As for being selfish, let me add another acronym in.  BS.  Plenty of people do this in a loving way that has less to do with the image of "service" and more to do with the need to please your mate because you love them or want them in your life.
I see a lot more people complaining it is not the way it used to be.  It is the same.  There are just more people now, and of course you will have a higher ratio of people not doing it YOUR way.


< Message edited by Missokyst -- 8/1/2009 9:56:31 PM >

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 9:58:19 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		Op: Your Primary Picture is of Paddles.............

So do you just Discuss the paddles and the emotions that they would give or do you use them?

Some People are ONLY into S&M there is no Service in that just beating and play.

Your way is not the only way. Neither is mine. That is okay. You do your thing and try to understand why others do theirs it will open your world to a magnitude of new possibilities.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 10:02:41 PM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act
['quote]

I only know about 200 of the 5000 here and the millions worldwide so I cannot speak for them only myself...

GQ

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 10:03:19 PM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve


Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.



Talk about scaring the new posters off....


_____________________________

Let's break the law

(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: wondering - 8/1/2009 11:28:48 PM   
Danemora


Posts: 752
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline 		For me, BDSM incorporates many levels...physical, emotional, and spiritual.  Thats what works for me and it by no means should define how you or anyone else views their own part in this lifestyle.

I tend to think of BDSM as a spectrum and we all tend to fit in somewhere along that spectrum.  Some are more extreme, some are very light, and the rest of us tend to fall somewhere in the middle.  Might I suggest that you focus more of your attention on seeking those who are on your same level as far as what you are seeking...rather than pondering why everyone else doenst look at things the same way you do.  You will be much happier for it in the long run. 

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 3:48:03 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?



Are there people who think like that? Surely a physical act is an expression of our emotions/instincts/desires.

Edited to add: the inner and the external are irretrievably connected. Perhaps it's a case of some people missing that point. Perhaps it's a matter of some people believing they are guided by their emotions and others believing they are guided by their ability to reason.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 8/2/2009 3:51:36 AM >

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 5:32:40 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?


This has not a jolly thing to do with the "Lifestyle" as people generally in every lifestyle there will be some who see what they do as a physical thing and others probably of a more philosophical bent will delve deeper and seek the spiritual/emotional and service or day to day aspects of what it they do.. After all, people, after all, are just people, no more, no less.



_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to TheOSON)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 5:51:18 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		I've seen this statement before I on this forum:

BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.

Domination and submission did not begin as a separate category.  It's become one because people seem to have forgotten that the "Bondage" in BDSM used to represent the bond between M/s or D/s. The restraints themselves were symbols of that bondage.

The past 15 years has brought many changes to the scene, due to the internet, the proliferation of public dungeons which has led to public scening with virtual strangers.

To each their own, as they say.

I, for one, need that emotional bond. For me, you tie up (or let yourself be tied up by) those you love.

As always, JMO.










_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?




(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 7:19:34 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

The past 15 years has brought many changes to the scene, due to the internet, the proliferation of public dungeons which has led to public scening with virtual strangers.


I've been providing pastoral care to the BDSM community since when it was around 75% gay male population... for about the past 20something years or so, in any case (let's see... Atlanta... 1987... yeah, 22 years), before the Internet was commonly available to the average joe, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that people have -always- scened with 'virtual strangers', and, honestly, it always seemed like more than half of all encounters back "in the day" were casual BDSM-club encounters that may or may not develop into something else down the road, and really, not to many gave a crap. Casual club play isn't something -new- that came about from the internet, and frankly, up until BDSM became a 'dating tool', the "odd folk out" were the people who tried to make this part of their daily and romantic lives, and find new ways to justify their kinks on "emotional" or "spiritual" grounds.

Now I'm just as guilty as the next folk. I like having a household, and the luxury of having people around me all the time, rather than just at a club, who grasp what this means to me (and for whom I think I grasp what it means for them). I justify my participation with emotional, spiritual, and psychological mumbo-jumbo, and incorporate this into my own relationship-based dynamics... but I guess I still remember, pretty clearly, where I -came- from in this, and why it took me so -very- long to unstick my feet from the pavement and dive in. Frankly, at the time, there didn't seem to be much room for a straight, mind-oriented, 'not-much-of-a-club-scene' kinda person... and that -has- changed, but whether it's changed for the -better-... well, sometimes I think maybe not-so-much, but a lot of folk seem pretty satisfied.

Dame Calla

< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 8/2/2009 7:20:21 AM >

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to daintydimples)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> wondering Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078