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RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 7:49:07 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

My Master and I are not "in the lifestyle". We have a style of living together that includes sharing physical as well as emotional aspects of our lives together. Bondage is certainly physical and one of our all-time favorite activities. He is a sadist and engages his emotions through the physical acts of sadism. I suppose a superior man would just think of torture and get more pleasure from it? Dunno.

I don't look into any deep emotional aspects to grocery shopping or scrubbing the bacon strips out of the toilet. Am I a lessor slave?

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(in reply to TheOSON)

Post #: 21

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 7:59:56 AM

RapidRon

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Wow I'm rolling hard right now... I must say that in this state especially, my focus would be on making the dominant I'm with emotionally happy.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 22

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 8:26:03 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Thanks Calla, that has been my observation as well.
I may have been submissive 30 years ago, but the only title I wore was wife.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
before the Internet was commonly available to the average joe, and I can tell you from firsthand experience that people have -always- scened with 'virtual strangers', and, honestly, it always seemed like more than half of all encounters back "in the day" were casual BDSM-club encounters that may or may not develop into something else down the road, and really, not to many gave a crap. Casual club play isn't something -new- that came about from the internet, and frankly, up until BDSM became a 'dating tool', the "odd folk out" were the people who tried to make this part of their daily and romantic lives, and find new ways to justify their kinks on "emotional" or "spiritual" grounds.

Now I'm just as guilty as the next folk. I like having a household, and the luxury of having people around me all the time, rather than just at a club, who grasp what this means to me (and for whom I think I grasp what it means for them). I justify my participation with emotional, spiritual, and psychological mumbo-jumbo, and incorporate this into my own relationship-based dynamics... but I guess I still remember, pretty clearly, where I -came- from in this, and why it took me so -very- long to unstick my feet from the pavement and dive in. Frankly, at the time, there didn't seem to be much room for a straight, mind-oriented, 'not-much-of-a-club-scene' kinda person... and that -has- changed, but whether it's changed for the -better-... well, sometimes I think maybe not-so-much, but a lot of folk seem pretty satisfied.

Dame Calla

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 23

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 8:40:39 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

....... the emotional, intellectual, esoteric, philosophical, ethical, visceral, psychological, and even -spiritual- aspects of our lives, as reflected through the broad compass of what we do to one another with bodies, energy (power), and authority, so if you're looking for others of like mind...

I could never sustain a relationship that was not physically reciprocal as I love sensation: everything from cutting, burning pain and the pain of needles right through the whipping, cropping flogging sensations and electro also. But soft caresses and kisses and denial of sensation is also good. However as excellent as a physical turn on is it becomes sterile if it is not in the context of the emotional, intellectual, esoteric, philosophical, ethical, visceral, psychological, and even -spiritual-as Dame calla states above. It's the ecology of bdsm for me. I would trade all that I am and all that I have and all that I can give and always have when physical sensation has been accompanied by (perm any three or four from the eight) the above.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/2/2009 8:41:31 AM >

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(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 24

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 9:32:30 AM

JonnieBoy

Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve

Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.

Talk about scaring the new posters off....

Well some of us spell things differently but correctly (to us) ... and will continue to do so ... as well as use our own familiar language and phraseology. If that is troubling to people, perhaps they should bugger off and mix only with those who conform to their ridiculous expectations? I had plenty of grief of wankers here when I first started posting (funny how tolerance develops once one gets a few hundred posts under the belt!)... not that I gave a shit.

As far as I'm concerned, some of the wrong spellings add to the entertainment.

There seems to be a lack of tolerance too for the fact that not everyone is naturally as capable of "standard" spelling and grammar due to a number of reasons ... like dyslexia etc.

I love some of the drunk posting too, would the "Grammar Police" have it that no one should be posting here whilst chilling out over a drink (or a smoke )

So ... proudly (and possibly a one time only opportunity) ... I'm with Esinn on this one
(if I used the spell checker I would have to call him ... well ..."Erin" goes in ok ... not sure you'd be happy with that Esinn? ... but it can't be ok anyway because "ok" itself wont pass the spellcheck!)

Grammar Police bullies won't stop existing here but all of those who ever did or do try to take the piss out of MY typing style get the verbal equivalent of ...

from me, I visit here to chill out, socialise, have a laugh, spotlight a few fascists, argue with the likes of Esinn (

), and ... of course ... trade opinion in things kink related

. Live and let live, I say ... often.

Pirate

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 25

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 9:43:39 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

I've seen this statement before I on this forum:

BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.

Domination and submission did not begin as a separate category. It's become one because people seem to have forgotten that the "Bondage" in BDSM used to represent the bond between M/s or D/s. The restraints themselves were symbols of that bondage.

This your opinion? Because you've presented it as a statement without one scintilla of proof. Cite your sources please.

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(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 26

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 9:51:57 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

The term "BDSM" didn't exist before online newsgroups. I always smile when someone wants to discuss what it "really means" as an example of "the way things used to be." It's a total internet-age creation.

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- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 27

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 10:01:00 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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:)
I agree. I did not know what I did was kinky until I discovered the net (win95). I thought this was sex and relationships like anyone else had in their lives.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

The term "BDSM" didn't exist before online newsgroups. I always smile when someone wants to discuss what it "really means" as an example of "the way things used to be." It's a total internet-age creation.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 28

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 11:00:36 AM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

Because no matter where you go in life and what you do, whoever you spend time with, what you get up to or don't get up to, and however which way you construct your lifestyle there will always been people different to you.

And they will be the vast majority.

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(in reply to TheOSON)

Post #: 29

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 11:09:44 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

All four terms have been used separately for a very long time. My statement was about the meaning of the term bondage. The word has more than one meaning.

From the free online dictionary:

bond·age play_w2("B0381600") (b

n

d

j)n.1. The state of one who is bound as a slave or serf.2. A state of subjection to a force, power, or influence.3. The practice of being physically restrained, as with cords or handcuffs, as a means of attaining sexual gratification.4. Villeinage.

I have no sources other than my own knowledge and experience, though I will be very surprised if some "old timers" don't chime in on this. In any case, that's how I view the term bondage.

Do with it as you wish.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 30

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 11:41:00 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

I can't speak for anyone besides myself, as I am not privy to others' thoughts, but..... Sir and I aren't "in the lifestyle," whatever that is. We just live our lives and BDSM happens to be part of it. For me, it's all of the above. Yes, it's the physical acts, but it's also the emotional connection Sir & I have to each other, and it's my everyday service to Him. Even when He & I aren't in the same place at the same time, it's little things I do that I know will please Him. There is not a day goes by that He's not in my thoughts, and everything I do is done through the filter of "Will He approve? Will it please Him?" Add to that, the spiritual. My submission is part of my very being, it's in my very heart and soul. Without that, I would not be me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

BDSM is bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, with the additional catagory of domination and submission.

I don't know if this is right or not, but I always thought of the BD meaning Bondage/Discipline, the DS meaning Domination/Submission, and the SM meaning Sadism/Masochism. So it really is an all-encompassing term without the addition of anything. :)

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to TheOSON)

Post #: 31

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 11:56:56 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

I don't know if this is right or not, but I always thought of the BD meaning Bondage/Discipline, the DS meaning Domination/Submission, and the SM meaning Sadism/Masochism. So it really is an all-encompassing term without the addition of anything. :)

Actually, the inclusion of D/s is an internet thing. The original meaning is Bondage/Discipline/Sado-Masochism.

I agree with the mind set that BDSM and D/s are not the same thing. One may include both activities, but there are people that engage in BDSM that don't engage in D/s. There are people that engage in D/s that don't engage in BDSM.

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(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 32

RE: wondering - 8/2/2009 12:10:40 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

Okay. :) Words and acronyms just interest me, so that's what I came up with. I agree, there are lots of people that don't "do it all." That's what nice about this.......it can be a pick & choose thing, as individual as the people involved.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 33

RE: wondering - 8/7/2009 7:53:44 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOSON

Why is that some many in the lifestyle these days see BDSM as the physicla act and need insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve?

BDSM is an umbrella for many things. We each mold the lifestyle to fit our individual needs

(in reply to TheOSON)

Post #: 34

RE: wondering - 8/7/2009 7:57:19 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

Okay. :) Words and acronyms just interest me, so that's what I came up with. I agree, there are lots of people that don't "do it all." That's what nice about this.......it can be a pick & choose thing, as individual as the people involved.

To be honest its just a bunch of words and it doesn't really matter. I personally think saying BDSM to include all is easier because otherwise I have to type BDSM, D/s, M/s and that just takes more time, I mean if we are saying people involved in D/s may not be involved in BDSM are missing the fact that people who engage in SM may not engage in BD of course in the real world I hardly use the words at all.

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Post #: 35

RE: wondering - 8/7/2009 8:07:08 AM

maia09

Posts: 113
Joined: 6/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

For the same reason people voted for Sarah Palin---because they can.

LMAO

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(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 36

RE: wondering - 8/7/2009 10:49:11 AM

HarderToBreathe2

Posts: 181
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

insted of searching deep into the emotional and everyday service to the one thw you serve

Because we are individuals. Please use a spellchecker when you post - Firefox has one built in.

Talk about scaring the new posters off....

LOL

(in reply to Esinn)

Post #: 37

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