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Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/3/2009 6:57:21 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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I just discovered I have them...not a pretty sight (okay...let's not go there)...I'm fairly sure they were caused by my ex wife (I expelled her 10 years ago....but I've had this annoying itch for at least as long)....lemme tell you....

It's not fun.

If I've gone on a date with you in the last 12 months, please let me apologize....you may have thought I wasn't focused on you....

I've recently discovered you may have been (unbelievably) correct.

I wanted to think about you...I really tried to think about you....and for the record...every time I scratched my butt....I was thinking about you....(hoping you weren't thinking about the last guy you went out with....praying he'd show up momentarily...asking you if you'd like to go out for a drink....while I scratched my butt)...but....I promise (honest)....I used the other hand to hand you the popcorn.

(No, really...I did).

(Okay....not always).

It was a good movie though....wasn't it?




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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 4:22:57 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		lookie... have you been drinking the koolaid?

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Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 4:24:38 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		<-----hands Lookie a thong

Here....let us know how this feels


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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 5:34:39 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		ok hemorrhoids are caused by a number of things:
 
1. Pregnancy
2. Child birth
3. Excess weight
4. Dry hard stools
5. Anal sex
 
 
I am going to venture that 1 and 2 are not options, however 3,4 and 5 are serious possibilities
 
Get some tucks pads, put them in the freezer, yes freezer, use them 2-4 times when the inflammation starts, will freeze them back to normal.
 
Drink more water, I am going to wager that your stools are hard most of the time.

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 9:21:52 AM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		EXCELLENT advice !!!!!

(And....#5 isn't a possibility) :)

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 9:34:03 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		Get the largest bottle of witch hazel you can find and start applying compresses soaked in it as often as you can. Works wonders and it's the active ingredient in Tucks, just a whole lot cheaper to do it yourself. Keep the compresses on as long as possible.

(The things you learn birthing babies.....)


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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 3:41:52 PM   
thornhappy


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Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

ok hemorrhoids are caused by a number of things:
 
1. Pregnancy
2. Child birth
3. Excess weight

Also from being a devotee of reading on the toilet, and for me, many visits to the bathroom in one day (and not to pee).

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 3:47:04 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Dude.   TMI.  But rockin advice re the witch hazel compresses.  You can afford the Tucks, though.  Stock up.

Helpful Hib

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 3:59:09 PM   
SilverMark


Posts: 3457
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		Why is it I saw the title hemorrhoids and am not surprised that the author is lookie?....
(takes a note...if I ever meet lookie....NO HANDSHAKE)


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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 5:25:13 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverMark

Why is it I saw the title hemorrhoids and am not surprised that the author is lookie?....
(takes a note...if I ever meet lookie....NO HANDSHAKE)



(I am not feeling the love here AT all!!!!)

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 7:03:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Hey!  Just because your fetish is not my fetish doesn't mean I don't LOVE you!  Sheesh.

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/4/2009 7:51:07 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		I just did a list of all my fetishes.

Except for one involving milk bottles and a steering wheel lock, and another with a thing to do with the sound a cat makes when you brush its hair backwards.....I think I'm into 'em all.

It's not easy being me.

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 9:22:34 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Versatility is a fine, fine quality.  Now, where's that milk bottle?

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 10:04:11 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Milk in bottles? Plastic jugs, yes. Paper cartons, yes. But no glass bottles since I was a kid.

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 10:09:40 AM   
tammystarm


Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline 		wow im that pathetically bored that i read this....... sad

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 10:15:33 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Milk in bottles? Plastic jugs, yes. Paper cartons, yes. But no glass bottles since I was a kid.


I was in a fancy-schmancy organic place that had it in glass bottles!  Not the cool little paper stoppers, though.  I would have actually bought the stuff if it had that!!

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 12:13:17 PM   
fluffypet61


Posts: 28879
Joined: 12/25/2006
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		My local chain grocery store has quart glass bottles of milk - it's organic or something.  i'll look to see if the little disk is there next time i go by.

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 5:24:54 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
By the way....just tried the witch hazel stuff.....

You're all fucking sadists!!!!!

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RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 5:33:36 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Guess I shouldn't try to get you to give the Icy Hot a shot then, LNN?

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Hemorrhoids (sp?)..... - 8/5/2009 5:37:46 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, I know they suck. Had'em bad years ago, and once woke up in a pool of my own blood, as one burst during the night (and you CAN bleed to death, depending on the kind of 'roid). Just don't sit on the commode too long, don't get constipated, and do not strain.

And don't let Cat near them.

< Message edited by Level -- 8/5/2009 5:38:43 PM >

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Profile   Post #: 20
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