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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 2:53:43 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

What I find interesting is that you can see someone across a room and feel that chemistry (like you, I have done just that) and that chemistry doesn't have to be (at least for me) physical. It can be intellectual, emotional. It can last for a fleeting moment or it can go on for a lifetime.
I'm a romantic that believes that for every individual there is a perfect match/mate for them and the coming together of these two perfectly matched individuals is pretty incredible if it happens. I don't believe this is chemistry alone but a lot of other very unique ingredients too.


I have had one utterly extraordinary experience of chemistry in my life. It was not physical. I was an art student doing my first degree. I saw him across a crowded studio. He was very much older than I. He became what I can only describe as a living spiritual Master. I kept his name and telephone number in my head for many years and phoned him out of the blue some 5 years after we had last seen each other. He was living poly and invited me to live within his family. But I turned the opportunity down. Yound and desiring freedom as I did.
He would most likely have passed by now because of his age. I often wonder how the path of my life would had turned out.
Other examples of powerful chemistry weave themselves through my life.
I've been very firtunate to have pure and perfect sexual chemistry. Perfect intellectual chemistry. Purely platonic chemistry. And perfect M/s chemistry but never interwoven wihin the same person.



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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 2:54:37 PM   
allthatjaz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

Allthatjaz commented:
I'm a romantic that believes that for every individual there is a perfect match/mate for them and the coming together of these two perfectly matched individuals is pretty incredible if it happens. I don't believe this is chemistry alone but a lot of other very unique ingredients too.


Personally, I separate out chemistry from compatibility. To me, compatibility is an understandable thing. It is a combination of both starting state and whatever value we do or do not place on remaining compatible as the years progress. Every day, Carol & I make choices to be more rather than less compatible and so now, at the 15 year mark, we are way more compatible than when we met.

Chemistry, on the other hand, I have in the realm of indefinables. I put my nose in Carol's hair and take a deep breath and she smells like love. Not shampoo. Not conditioner. Love. Why is that? I can only assume some sort of pheremony/chemical thing. When I'm all stinky, it smells like "chicken soup" to her. Again, why? In my head, chemistry is something which happens deep in our lizard brains somewhere and is therefor resistant to any sort of analysis.


Love this analogy and relate to it completely. I believe this is what dopamine does for us; connecting experiences to pleasure and reinforcing it the more we do it. I love dopamine!

On the other hand pheromones are innate, not learnt so if someone gives off the wrong smell one is repelled. Is this proof that certain people are not supposed to be together?

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 8/4/2009 2:55:33 PM >

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 2:59:34 PM   
LillyoftheVally


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

What does chemistry in relationship feel like for you?


As you have said it is hard to explain, it is a click, connection it can be for a moment or for months and to be honest I think you can loose it as soon as you have found it.

quote:


Does it take WIITWD for chemistry to take place?


Nope I have felt chemistry with lots of people not just in a relationship context either sometimes I get it with friends, indeed some of the strongest feelings of chemistry have been with people better suited to friends than lovers.

quote:


What gets created out of that chemistry? Sex? Attraction? Closeness? Entwinement?


Connection, sort of understanding each other. As I have said it can be for just a moment I have felt it during scenes with people that I have no tangible connection with otherwise and whom I still hold very close to me

quote:


Is it dependent on one particular person?


Nope which is the strangest thing, it may be a person I may not even like generally. Sometimes you feel chemistry instantly sometimes it does take a specific act/moment


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:03:46 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
.

Chemistry, on the other hand, I have in the realm of indefinables. I put my nose in Carol's hair and take a deep breath and she smells like love. Not shampoo. Not conditioner. Love. Why is that? I can only assume some sort of pheremony/chemical thing. When I'm all stinky, it smells like "chicken soup" to her. Again, why? In my head, chemistry is something which happens deep in our lizard brains somewhere and is therefor resistant to any sort of analysis.

I've experienced this on the pheromonal basis too.
I always used to sit each of my children, rocking then for hours and simply smelling the scent of their heads. I swear to God i could locate any one of my children even now, even though they have grown, simply by the scent of their scalps.
I have also found that when I am really attracted and into someone then the scent of them transforms. Sweat becomes the most perfect aftershave and I cannot bear it to be covered or smothered in anything chemical.
But the reverse is also too. When i fall 'out of chemistry' with someone then that scent becomes a turn off It becomes repulsive.  Water sports for example become impossible. Losing the scent of love is a point of no return for me.



< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 8/4/2009 3:05:27 PM >

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:36:25 PM   
leadership527


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quote:

Prinsexx noted
I have also found that when I am really attracted and into someone then the scent of them transforms. Sweat becomes the most perfect aftershave and I cannot bear it to be covered or smothered in anything chemical.
But the reverse is also too. When i fall 'out of chemistry' with someone then that scent becomes a turn off It becomes repulsive. Water sports for example become impossible. Losing the scent of love is a point of no return for me.

See, I'm not 100% sure because it's hard to remember back 15 years in detail. But I think that this is a different thing than what I'm talking about. It makes total sense that if I really love someone, then I am going to come to love all manner of things about them that, perhaps, weren't so lovable initially. And, conversly, if that connection is lost again... well...

But Carol smelled like love to me from the very moment we met. I wasn't even looking for anyone and had I been looking, it certainly would not have been for her. Yet... there was that damned chemistry thing. Carol was a wrong match for me on any number of levels starting right out with the fact that I was married (separated for a year, but still married) when I met her. It didn't help any that I at least thought she was a lesbian at the time also *laughs*. Then there's the art-chick vs. the corporate cog thing. And let's not even discuss democrat vs. republican. The list of obvious incompatibilities would go a mile long... yet there was that chemistry thing.

In the end, despite being a lifelong and avid student of human emotional interactions, I have totally given up on chemistry. I think it's just one of those "it's there or not" things and I really do believe it has more to do with subtle cues such as smell than it does with anything lofty like "we both like foreign movies" or even whether or not her anus is pliable.

(*laughs* Sorry, I couldn't resist. We've been laughing over the Do you take it video since last night when I stumbled across it)

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:45:56 PM   
Prinsexx


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Status: offline 		I'm very open minded but I was wondering how open pliable anus = art movie or I probably misread you.
One of those days for dtiving past the station and calling family by the wrong names today.
I think, (well I know) I had some of that chemistry thang happen last night and my head is all over the place...probably up my arse as we so often say in Queen's English.


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:51:36 PM   
angelikaJ


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It is a reference to the link he provided)



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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:51:47 PM   
Kalista07


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Status: offline 		i don't think i really 'get' the whole chemistry thing...Perhaps it is because i am too simple or perhaps is is because i am to stupid but i just don't understand all of that stuff. There was no 'chemical' stuff in this relationship for me......ever....... i do remember one day driving the long drive home and thinking to myself that i in no way, shape, or form would find this man 'hot' and would not really be into Him if i hadn't gotten to know Him online first. But, fortunately for me i did....And it allowed me to meet the biggest...hottest...and most sexiest part of Him first....His heart!!!! And that keeps me madly, deeply, passionately committed and devoted to Him and in love with Him.

Kali


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 3:54:52 PM   
pyroaquatic


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Status: offline 		If the chemistry is right it feels like my tongue on your skin licking the tasty sweat off.



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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 6:56:29 PM   
SummerWind


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Status: offline 		Chemistry 


or plagarism

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 7:03:33 PM   
DavanKael


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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On the other hand pheromones are innate, not learnt so if someone gives off the wrong smell one is repelled. Is this proof that certain people are not supposed to be together?


Maybe.  You've seen me on here long enough to have noted my talking about my 17 year relationship with my ex-.  You know, when I first met him, I didn't like the way that he smelled.  I learned to but initially, unpleasant to me. 
Also, in certain areas, he would note to me not generally being able to scent an odor when others found said aroma quite pleasant. 
I don't know if that's any indication of us not being meant together but I very strongly recall not initially liking his scent. 

Scent is huge, though.  The most recent boy I was in a relationship with smelled like sex to me, pure and simple. 

  Davan

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 7:11:31 PM   
DavanKael


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

 it's about the person and the bond, not the bondage,
I have emotional connection and love is like my skin doesn't matter, we are melting together,
. 
   Davan

I wish I had written these two great things..
prin



:>  Thank you, Prin.  :>  
       Davan

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 7:13:28 PM   
Jeptha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
....... i do remember one day driving the long drive home and thinking to myself that i in no way, shape, or form would find this man 'hot' and would not really be into Him if i hadn't gotten to know Him online first. .....
Interesting how it works like that sometimes. And kind of tragic* when you think of all the times when it didn't work out like that when it might have.

* - I mean, you know, sorta.


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 7:30:08 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


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Status: offline 		Chemistry for me is more like an amazing moment,

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 7:58:39 PM   
Tantriqu


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Status: offline 		The sub with whom I had the most perfect chemistry had no scent: he could make love all night, work out in the gym or run for hours, and he still had no odour. Two failed applicant would-be subs smelt bad
I'm a believer in the pheremone theory.

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 9:55:12 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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quote:

What does chemistry in relationship feel like for you?


Silence. Stillness. A feeling that the universe has suddenly become a perfect place. A sense - no, a certainty that we are not two people who just happen to be together, but two people who have literally become joined as one, joined at the soul. It's quite nice, actually.


quote:

Does it take WIITWD for chemistry to take place?


No, but the reverse is true. It's impossible for me to be intimate with anyone unless I feel that chemistry.


quote:

What gets created out of that chemistry? Sex? Attraction? Closeness? Entwinement?


Love, if I'm lucky. And from that, sex, closeness, and everything else that usually comes with it. The chemistry that I'm describing has, in my experience, always been the precursor to love if we nurture it and allow it to blossom.


quote:

Is it dependent on one particular person?


If I understand your question correctly, no. Not necessarily. I've felt it with several different women in my lifetime. There was one with whom I felt it much more powerfully and deeply than with anyone else, but even with the other women, it was still basically the same feeling. Just orders of magnitude fainter.


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/4/2009 11:18:11 PM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On the other hand pheromones are innate, not learnt so if someone gives off the wrong smell one is repelled. Is this proof that certain people are not supposed to be together?


Maybe.  You've seen me on here long enough to have noted my talking about my 17 year relationship with my ex-.  You know, when I first met him, I didn't like the way that he smelled.  I learned to but initially, unpleasant to me. 
Also, in certain areas, he would note to me not generally being able to scent an odor when others found said aroma quite pleasant. 
I don't know if that's any indication of us not being meant together but I very strongly recall not initially liking his scent. 

Scent is huge, though.  The most recent boy I was in a relationship with smelled like sex to me, pure and simple. 

Davan

Oh yes scent is huge.
It lingers even after death.
I've smelled a person's scent long before they have arrived.
I've smelled a person's  scent when they have been thinking about me and vice versa.
It's a truly subconscious (not in the analytical sense but meant as below the level of conscious control) and primitive capacity.
Our human awareness of scent is dulled by pollution, plastics and manufactured sprays and chemicals IMO.
I don't think I have ever been able to transform a scent from one I do not initially like into one I do. If I met someone for the first time and he was wearing Paco Rabanne (sp?) I think I would have to make an excuse and exit the via the fire escape.


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/5/2009 12:52:08 AM   
allthatjaz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On the other hand pheromones are innate, not learnt so if someone gives off the wrong smell one is repelled. Is this proof that certain people are not supposed to be together?


Maybe.  You've seen me on here long enough to have noted my talking about my 17 year relationship with my ex-.  You know, when I first met him, I didn't like the way that he smelled.  I learned to but initially, unpleasant to me. 
Also, in certain areas, he would note to me not generally being able to scent an odor when others found said aroma quite pleasant. 
I don't know if that's any indication of us not being meant together but I very strongly recall not initially liking his scent. 

Scent is huge, though.  The most recent boy I was in a relationship with smelled like sex to me, pure and simple. 

  Davan


Like you, I was also in a relationship for 17 years and like you I didn't like the way he smelt but sadly I was never able turn myself from that. My relationship should in fact of been perfect but because I didn't like the way he smelt, it made my sex life miserable and eventually none existent. I kept going as long as I did because of family pressures.

I love Stephens smell and find it constantly puts my head in 'turned on mode'. I don't like him to mask his smell with deodorants and aftershaves.

I have watched horses turn away from amazing looking stallions only to go and flirt there bits at the old teaser who is nothing much more than an elderly decrepit donkey. Animals certainly use pheromones to choose who they want to breed with.

PS... Im not saying Stephen is an old decrepit donkey

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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/5/2009 3:12:12 AM   
Prinsexx


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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

PS... Im not saying Stephen is an old decrepit donkey

...but hung like a horse?
...sorry couldn't resist that.


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RE: What chemistry feels like - 8/5/2009 4:51:41 AM   
allthatjaz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

PS... Im not saying Stephen is an old decrepit donkey

...but hung like a horse?
...sorry couldn't resist that.




Well of course but then why else would I be with him

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