quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

If it smells it's chemistry... (if it moves it's biology, and if it's broken it's physics)

But "it" is to me indefinable precisely - but most definitely "it" is either there or it isn't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

FR, after read thru (& while waiting for the drama to die down enough here to focus on the going to mouse-land in a few hours . . . . .)
Where's the drama? Here...no way, boards are very slow and quiet...my drama or yours??? anyway back to chemistry...

Great thread, prinny, I've been mulling this over for the last coupla days . .. . . .I know but well I thought chemistry was a thing of my past (all of  weeks ago) but could be in the dead centre of a whirlwind about to break so wanted/needed a bit of support and a feeling of solidarity...

Chemistry feels like I've been strung with Xmas lights, just under my skin & all over my bod', & they've been turned on. (Well, a smidge more subtle than that . . . . . . ) An 'electrical' thrill at the thought or sight of that other I'm feeling the chemistry with . . ... . A thrill I seek out, urges guiding me that don't feel too terribly different than that which I imagine guides a salmon upstream (or some similar bio-metaphor) . . . . . ..
Well I've certainly found myself doing some pretty amazing things in pursuit of the cause of chemistry. It's a feeling of incredible stamina and a sense of heightened awareness. (Pupil dilation test is the standard operationalisation of interpersonal attraction or 'chemistry'...)

It takes some time & getting to know someone before it presents, & I don't know that the physical contact is necessary. I've certainly felt 'intellectual / emotional chemistry" before, where the physical was absent or unnecessary .

Now for me having gotten to know someone can create the chemistry but it used to happen, when I was younger, with almost enture strangers...(sorry that's an oxymoron...almost entire  but you know chemistry with any sort of stranger is pretty moronic eh?).

 . . . . There's something of the comfort of the compatability to it, & also something of the mutual desire . .. . . . I've had 'friendly' chemistry, & 'more than friends' chemistry, it's something about the excitement of finding those who really like & desire interaction with me, & me with them . . ... . It can be a lopsided thing, too . . . . . .

Lopsidied is a good term. I get 'anti-chemistry' if someone likes me more than I deduce I like them. I've tried to be enlightened about this. I've also settled for it. I've stayed in vanilla arrangements, noteably marriages, when I have absolutely felt turned off by my husbands... for the sake of the kids, for the sake of a sick and dying parent, for the sake of a financial project and or business project. But I'm really not one for selling out. Never thought of pussy or slavery as a meal ticket and got out as soon as possible.

There's definitely a whiff of that childhood excitement of going to Disneyland (yeah, serious primal connection thing for me, this Disney experience, lol), of looking for the landmarks on the road. 'Are we there yet?' & the impatience fueled by the excitement . . . .. . & those licks of 'electric thrill' which I can feel moving thru me in literal waves & bursts . .. .

Yes it is like a birthday feeling. Like a substance use feeling. It's addictive just like any other chemical change. As a masochist I love the troughs and peaks.. .. Being without the high of it is like flatlining. Numb. Apathy. Which invades all other areas of my life. This is why I feel more together and successful when I am owned.

I've learned not to chase nookie unless it has the components necessary to 'be complete', including chemistry (& attraction & mutual desire & sufficient 'other' similarities & so on & so forth), cuz, well, that's what works for me . . ..  . & minimizes hurt for myself & the other . . .. . .

& since, for me, kink is part of sex, & sex is something that really only works for me within the context of quite a bit of relationship, & all of that has some dependency on 'chemistry', then, yes, I do need some chemistry to have kink happen in a way I desire.

But yes, having said all of the above I've also stopped chasing. That's not to say I won't beg for it again though..at some point.

While I can non-sexually top without chemistry, I'm pretty damn sure I've no interest in bottoming, much less submitting, without chemistry . . . . ..
I can also top if required. I can also switch and my switching is gender specific. As an alpha female slave I can dominate a woman. I like pussy but I can do it completely dispassionately. Submitting always involves chemistry for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you can't smell the chemicals.

Dolby

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Hey, prinny, glad you enjoyed my post . . . . . .

To clarify, the drama is entirely here in the off-line location from which I'm typing, having nothing to do with CM . . . . ... & not my drama, so I'm just a bemused observer, staying as much out of the way as possible. Discovering how much I'm not into drama anymore, so that's a useful lesson . . ... . Especially what I'm gonna call 'truly useless drama', that for which there's no need, no call, almost entirely drummed up by one excessively dramatic princess type, who (of course) has darn little capacity to see or understand her place in the whole thing & who is exceedingly unreceptive to being told anything that doesn't cater to her . . ..... 



[/threadjack -- dignified composure to return at a later, post-vacay date]

quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia


Hmmmmmm, & flirting has some loose correlation to chemistry, in my head . . . ... The more 'chemistry' I think I'm feeling, the more I wanna flirt, I know that one . . . . . .

Ahhhhh, & one thing I'm still unclear on, for myself, is whether I can establish 'relationship' chemistry with someone from a purely online interaction or whether there are crucial in-person components.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
On the other hand pheromones are innate, not learnt so if someone gives off the wrong smell one is repelled. Is this proof that certain people are not supposed to be together?

Maybe.  You've seen me on here long enough to have noted my talking about my 17 year relationship with my ex-.  You know, when I first met him, I didn't like the way that he smelled.  I learned to but initially, unpleasant to me. 
Also, in certain areas, he would note to me not generally being able to scent an odor when others found said aroma quite pleasant. 
I don't know if that's any indication of us not being meant together but I very strongly recall not initially liking his scent. 

Scent is huge, though.  The most recent boy I was in a relationship with smelled like sex to me, pure and simple. 

Davan

Like you, I was also in a relationship for 17 years and like you I didn't like the way he smelt but sadly I was never able turn myself from that. My relationship should in fact of been perfect but because I didn't like the way he smelt, it made my sex life miserable and eventually none existent. I kept going as long as I did because of family pressures.

I love Stephens smell and find it constantly puts my head in 'turned on mode'. I don't like him to mask his smell with deodorants and aftershaves.

I have watched horses turn away from amazing looking stallions only to go and flirt there bits at the old teaser who is nothing much more than an elderly decrepit donkey. Animals certainly use pheromones to choose who they want to breed with.

PS... Im not saying Stephen is an old decrepit donkey

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Quote: Prinsexx:
And if it thinks?
(or is that an as yet unknown science?)
 
My reply:  I think that's supposed to fall under the realm of what we coulnseor folks do but damned if I'm going to call psych science (Much to the extreme chagrin of many of my colleagues). 
 
   Davan

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustStephen
We went out for a pub meal last night and whilst we were sat in the pub garden we observed a very elderly couple walking up the road. They were both holding hands, talking and smiling to each other. There was a real glow about them.
Its good to see that chemistry can stand the test of time but I think chemistry is only a small element in what keeps people together.