RE: Looking for help

RE: Looking for help (Full Version)

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IronBear -> RE: Looking for help (2/24/2006 11:14:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I'm going to avoid the age issue because, no matter what else, you've already shown a level of curiousity and desire that puts you ahead of a lot of the "older" doms around. Plus, I think ageism is wrong. I should point out that I was not refering to the OP's age in a derogatory manner and if that is what it came accross, it is regrettable. However my original comment: quote: Your very young aren’t you.. So much to learn and if you play your cards right, a long fruitful time to learn too. Was simply a comment that he is young in the lifestyle and that he doesn't need to rush into things as he has time on his side to grow and learn and then work on achieving his dreams...... Some of the "Older Doms" simply have realised that time and circumstance is working against them and have to shelve their dreams and desires too. Some (I talk to a couple) are just waiting for the next time on the wheel of life..

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/24/2006 11:20:33 AM)
I understand about having one slave and starting out as that. I did say my ultimate goal is to have a harem, and I do beleive I may end up having a single slave alone. The reason I cannot explain why is because I dont have a reason why. I simply have this inner burning desire to have more than one. If I end up having only one, I will stick with only one. Also, you have a very good point. What exactly can I give to 2 or more slaves? What would make it worth it? I hardly consider my penis large, I have personal issues, and if I got a slave right this moment, I would be unable to support her. What exactly do I have to offer right this moment? Nothing. Other than my unfaltering support. I am 20, yes. I am immature to most of this forum's concepts, yes. I am open to suggestions, comments, and more as well. For example, tell me how I should change my profile. You may not think it means much, but to me, how I change my profile tells me how I should be, and then I work from that point on to how I will eventually become. So tell me. How should I better myself to your views and learn how to become a proper dom that wishes to ultimately have multiple slaves? Forget the age, that is annoying me, to be honest. I will become 30 in my own good time. Nothing I can do will change that. If you are going to have a bias towards my ageism, as lucky said, then please, show me that I was not wrong to ask for help here by showing that you are open minded enough to simply ignore the age for now.

IronBear -> RE: Looking for help (2/24/2006 11:31:01 AM)
Sound, If you are refering to me, then I suggest you read my earlier post. I gave you what I believe to be some valuable advise.. I like your comments: quote: Vanilla Posts: 5 Joined: 2/22/2006 Status: online I understand about having one slave and starting out as that. I did say my ultimate goal is to have a harem, and I do beleive I may end up having a single slave alone. The reason I cannot explain why is because I dont have a reason why. I simply have this inner burning desire to have more than one. If I end up having only one, I will stick with only one. That shows you are thinking and thinking well. I like that.

RavenMuse -> RE: Looking for help (2/24/2006 11:44:05 AM)
The most important one IMO is the one you appear to be simply ignoring. Go and learn yourself well enough to be able to answer the question of WHY you want such... wether it is one slave or a dozen it is a most important point. I don't much care about the age thing as I said to Focus. Back when I was 20 (Yes I can remember that far back) I could have answered it quite easily. And my answer would be mostly the same today except maybe a little more clearly stated given the benifit of my experiences since then. But bottom line, I knew myself, which is what people are questioning you about because you don't seem to.... as shown by your "answers" To be someones master you should first be able to master yourself...... and how can you master something you don't know?

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/24/2006 12:42:54 PM)
Yes, I am reading. I posted that before I read what you posted.

Focus50 -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 1:49:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I'm going to avoid the age issue because, no matter what else, you've already shown a level of curiousity and desire that puts you ahead of a lot of the "older" doms around. Plus, I think ageism is wrong. I should point out that I was not refering to the OP's age in a derogatory manner and if that is what it came accross, it is regrettable. Pretty sure LuckyAlbatross was referring to me; we haven't clashed for a few weeks now.... wink And to her I say the obvious in that they are my prejudices based on my experiences and I'm certainly not about to start debating such pc nonsense as "ageism". But to clarify (or further inflame?), the specific area where I'm not a "believer" is of a 20 something master/mistress actually living a 24/7 owned-dynamic relationship where they really are responsible for all decsions, big and small, for their slave as well as themself. No doubt Americans are much more sophisticated than us backwoods Aussies but most 20yo's I see about still live for video games, drinking till they puke or pass out, picking fights, spray painting public buildings & railway cars etc and generally anything to do with having "fun" and nothing to do with hard work, life goals or generally taking responsibility for their own actions, let alone those of a subordinate, too! You have gotta be kidding me - a Master who's a year or three out of his teens? pfft. Slice & dice my post all you want in reply LA, but I didn't adopt my prejudice of "ageism" for a hobby, it's merely keeping score of what I've witnessed in the lifestyle on the Boards and in real life! Doubtless you'll know several successful teen or 20yo M/s partners to support your particular view on this (you usually do) but it still won't be MY experience or opinion. Focus.

Focus50 -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 2:51:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound I understand about having one slave and starting out as that. I did say my ultimate goal is to have a harem, and I do beleive I may end up having a single slave alone. The reason I cannot explain why is because I dont have a reason why. I simply have this inner burning desire to have more than one. If I end up having only one, I will stick with only one. This particular post is pretty good (you're starting to "scare" me by earning some respect off me lol) though this particular paragraph does betray your age. Whether having a harem is a true goal remains to be seen with experience and maturity but should you "only" ever have a monogamous M/s relationship, don't ever imply to your girl that she is better than none at all - no-one deserves to be put down like that! quote: Also, you have a very good point. What exactly can I give to 2 or more slaves? What would make it worth it? I hardly consider my penis large, I have personal issues, and if I got a slave right this moment, I would be unable to support her. What exactly do I have to offer right this moment? Nothing. Other than my unfaltering support. Forget about your dick size (lol) as it's usually only an issue for the one it's permanently attached to! You haven't been reading dom profiles at bondage.com have you - where I'm just about the only one with less than the "regulation" 8 inch Dom's cock??? lmao Everyone has issues and few 20yo's can support themselves etc.... This is what I mean about gaining life experience - where you learn about yourself and how you overcome adversity. And your honesty here is where I'm gaining new found respect for you! quote: I am 20, yes. I am immature to most of this forum's concepts, yes. I am open to suggestions, comments, and more as well. For example, tell me how I should change my profile. You may not think it means much, but to me, how I change my profile tells me how I should be, and then I work from that point on to how I will eventually become. Your profile question is honest but I'd be "cheating" in telling you what's supposedly wrong with it. Fact is, A profile reflects how YOU see yourself and that's how it should be. That's what subs will see in deciding whether to reply or pass on YOU! For me to give hints on how to "improve" your profile is almost akin to coaching you on how to deceive a sub who might read it. She should be seeing the real you - or at least as much as you care to share! And as I said, yours reads like that of an inexperienced 20 yo Dom - and that's the truth, no? Ergo, there's nothing to fix at this stage in your life unless you determine to research and re-think it of your own accord; which still means the end result will be of YOUR composition. Trust me, you'll open up your profile one day and think something like "Yikes, what was I thinking???" because I've done it myself, several times.... Hence, your profile will mature and evolve in tandem with you. quote: So tell me. How should I better myself to your views and learn how to become a proper dom that wishes to ultimately have multiple slaves? Forget the age, that is annoying me, to be honest. I will become 30 in my own good time. Nothing I can do will change that. If you are going to have a bias towards my ageism, as lucky said, then please, show me that I was not wrong to ask for help here by showing that you are open minded enough to simply ignore the age for now. What I said previously.... Go get some life experience - a job, your own place, buy something you can't afford cash for, a vanilla g/f if this long distance slave is too hard etc. Actually a vanilla g/f is still a good step - it'll teach you the frustrations of not getting to do everything your own way and of hearing "No" on a regular basis.... lol Mate, I'm not really against 20 yo's; most are what I've come to expect.... Back off on the harem fantasy; learn what one devoted slave can do for you before you start barring up on masses of naked females at your feet. Owning a slave comes with responsibility, obligations and an expectation for you to meet her needs, too! They really don't just serve because you're supposedly a God; all things come with a price.... I wish you well. Focus.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 9:57:21 AM)
While browsing through this thread, i have to say it is rather commendable for this person to be asking such open and honest questions, with what seems to be a genuine willingness to grow and be a good Dominant. It's a much more responsible approach than many others take. Regardless if people agree whether a 20 year old should own property or not, can you imagine the wealth of knowledge and wisdom someone like this will gain over the years? By asking questions, putting himself out there for critique, and listening?? i am impressed.

theRose4U -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 10:14:37 AM)
quote: She was definitly not a mentor, being younger than me, and just as inexperienced. I stand by my statement: quote: WHOOOAAAHH there junior grab a reality check at the door before someone gets hurt. If she's newer than you are and has a slave, you claim her as property with the "experience & wisdom" that you've come here with...accident waiting to happen.

theRose4U -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 10:38:50 AM)
quote: I am 20, yes. I am immature to most of this forum's concepts, yes. I am open to suggestions, comments, and more as well. For example, tell me how I should change my profile. You may not think it means much, but to me, how I change my profile tells me how I should be, and then I work from that point on to how I will eventually become. So tell me. How should I better myself to your views and learn how to become a proper dom that wishes to ultimately have multiple slaves? Forget the age, that is annoying me, to be honest. I will become 30 in my own good time. Nothing I can do will change that. If you are going to have a bias towards my ageism, as lucky said, then please, show me that I was not wrong to ask for help here by showing that you are open minded enough to simply ignore the age for now HALLELUAH I think he's starting to see the light!!! For once it's not an oncoming train. Honestly if you want a good understanding of what it's like to own a single devoted slave. Asking Mercnbeth might be a good starting point. If you're into Gore IronBear's your man. Poly that by all accounts works look to Knight of Mists and how to be a wise old soul in a in a chronologically limited body look to Em umm LA...who are you this week?? [;)] John is our wise one showing the way, you might recognize his name on books recommended to you on greenery Press. The reality of what it is we do is that individually we haven't seen and done it all but you put us in a room together and hold onto our boots it's going to be an INTERESTING ride. Honestly we're all here for input as I think you've seen. We only like to cause pain to those we love [8D]

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 1:31:50 PM)
Thank you for your compliments, though I do feel somewhat irked to see that you are applying a general mass bias towards me. That is a lot like calling ALL americans stupid for voting for Bush (I'm sorry, I dont like the guy, cant help it) or saying ALL ozzies are country bumpkins, or ALL jews are rich. You cant truly apply any general bias towards any single person until they demonstrate they follow that bias, in my opinion. I do own a place to myself, I go to college, but I dont have a job (though god knows I've tried damn...) I have not spray painted any railroad cars to my knowlege, but I cant claim responsibility for my parallel self in another dimension. I have drunk, but never to the point that I lose my good sensibilities. (well except that one time... but I'm pretty sure I did nothing worse than hitting on a lesbian) My reason for asking u for help on my profile is I am not sure of the message I am getting across. I dont feel the profile is "ME." I have no desire to lie or lure in slaves that think I am someone I am not. Rather, I am more interested in getting my message across. I am a journalism/english major with a computer science minor, with such an degree I could become a book writer, an editor, or something along those lines. So... Teach me without me having to read between the lines already :-P

MHOO314 -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 2:25:10 PM)
Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins.

theRose4U -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 2:47:49 PM)
quote: I am a journalism/english major with a computer science minor, with such an degree I could become a book writer, an editor, or something along those lines. I would hope that with these credentials that you would be able to explain in a few sentences who you are, that you're new, looking for a partner and expand as you learn.

krikket -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 2:50:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound To be honest, I simply want to have more than one slave. Not that much to do with power. i only have 2 little points to this comment -- First, in my D/s relationships it's always about power, his and mine (and yes, even subs/slaves have power, imho), and how we exchange that power... Second..be careful what you ask for..you might get it..lol... (ok..i'm editing this cuz i know that last part was a little flip..but it is true. i've seen a few friends who thought they wanted/needed a second sub, and it just didn't work out. It's a tremendous amount of work, on both parts, not to mention understanding, love, caring..etc.) regards jimini

IronBear -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 3:33:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound I am a journalism/english major with a computer science minor, with such an degree I could become a book writer, an editor, or something along those lines. Not with your lack of grammer and spellig you won't laddie

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 5:36:15 PM)
Iron, I suppose not. But am I being paid to write correctly on this site? The short answer: no. However, I do try to type in correct spelling and grammar most of the time. So please feel free to criticize me on any and all errors I have made. But I would also appreciate us keeping this thread on topic, instead of going off into a debate on spelling and grammar, so please email me your corrections, if any, or start another topic in a forum that is not about asking a master for help on BDSM.

BearNFirelight -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 6:00:47 PM)
I have a educational site you can check out that has a lot of good information from begginer stuff to advanced techniques. I welcome you to check it out. [link=Http://www.enslavedrose.org]Http://www.enslavedrose.org[/link]. I would do the learning and find a point of balance and comfort in your abilities as a Dom before trying to take on one or more slaves in a rt situation. Best of luck to you.

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 6:21:05 PM)
Thank you very much bear, that is the kind of information I have been looking for.

KnightofMists -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 6:49:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Thank you very much bear, that is the kind of information I have been looking for. you will put yourself at a disadvantage if you don't learn from two avenues in particular. FACE TO FACE... go out to your local BDSM events/munches etc... meet people and talk and learn. Ask questions and learn more and keep asking. Read Books.. Get a significant list of lifestyle books... read and read and read more to be honest... Online is actually the third option and way down the list! in comparision to the other two above in my opinion.

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 7:09:45 PM)
Why is that? The information found in books is the same as online, and I dont have to spend any money to learn online. As well as the fact that theres a chance that people can be met online and decide they want to help me learn in real life. The place where I live right now is a dead town, nothing to do, people are naive and have catholic-ish behavior. Even the college girls are so focused in studies here, that they probably dont know the meaning of the word sex, much less BDSM.

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