RE: Looking for help

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KnightofMists -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 7:17:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Why is that? The information found in books is the same as online, and I dont have to spend any money to learn online. um NO!!!! But interesting you make that judgement ! I wonder on what knowledge you make that judgement! quote: As well as the fact that theres a chance that people can be met online and decide they want to help me learn in real life. The place where I live right now is a dead town, nothing to do, people are naive and have catholic-ish behavior. Even the college girls are so focused in studies here, that they probably dont know the meaning of the word sex, much less BDSM. mmmmmmm really... Interesting!

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 8:03:15 PM)
Tell me something I can't find online that I can only find in a book. Edit: And can you please cease the mocking and focus on what the thread is about?

KnightofMists -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 8:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Tell me something I can't find online that I can only find in a book. Edit: And can you please cease the mocking and focus on what the thread is about? mmmmmm rather defensive ... Well since you seem to make a judgement of what you can find on line and what you can find in books as being the same... a judgement I might add that is done without actaully reading said books and it does appear that you have limited understanding of is in the lifestyle as a whole. You come asking for help... but yet when some very good advice is given... it's flaming or mocking.... Are you really looking for help... or are you looking for validation on the approaches you want to take. By all means. go on your way... I am done with you.

MHOO314 -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 8:16:42 PM)
I challenged with this earlier and you chose not to respond-- Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins. No book. not online, pity you missed this--One wonders

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 8:54:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I challenged with this earlier and you chose not to respond-- Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins. No book. not online, pity you missed this--One wonders quote: Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins. MH- Didnt miss it, didnt see any reason to comment about it and I took it to myself. Ps, Knight: The mocking wasn't the advice, it was post number 61 that was mocking. Don't try to twist my words, please. I would go out and look around for books if the following were true: A) I had money aviliable (Rather difficult scenario right there, when I am a college student) B) There was a local library (There is, but it has no books on current subject.) C) There was a bookstore within this town. (Gee, theres like, 7 alchohol stores and no bookstores in this town, damn freaky) D) I was willing to spend around 20 dollars gas to go to the nearest bookstore or libary that HAD said book(s). (See A for my answer here.)

IronBear -> RE: Looking for help (2/25/2006 9:43:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound quote: ORIGINAL: MHOO314 I challenged with this earlier and you chose not to respond-- Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins. No book. not online, pity you missed this--One wonders quote: Take a deep breath and reflect on the man inside---the breath, the passion, the fire, the emotions--let that man's blood course through your veins, let that man's soul dance in the darkness---for it is then that you write your profile--it is then you set to music the Dominant you are and want to be-- for it is then the words become yours alone--for it is then the magic begins. MH- Didnt miss it, didnt see any reason to comment about it and I took it to myself. Ps, Knight: The mocking wasn't the advice, it was post number 61 that was mocking. Don't try to twist my words, please. I would go out and look around for books if the following were true: A) I had money aviliable (Rather difficult scenario right there, when I am a college student) B) There was a local library (There is, but it has no books on current subject.) C) There was a bookstore within this town. (Gee, theres like, 7 alchohol stores and no bookstores in this town, damn freaky) D) I was willing to spend around 20 dollars gas to go to the nearest bookstore or libary that HAD said book(s). (See A for my answer here.) Crikey lad, sounds like you are really screwed doesn’t it? Let’s see you can’t afford to hunt and purchase books. You can’t afford to or don’t want to get out and actually meet people who talk the talk, walk the walk and live the life . You don’t want to take the advice offered to you and ~~~~ hide behind the cloaks of mocking and flaming…. I have news for you lad, KoM is more than a little knowledgeable. He may just have been happy to have helped you more than you know if you asked him. Ohhh no! You hade to go and crap in your own nest didn’t you.. What was the matter? To scared of the dark and the boogy man to use the litter tray and slide off your rocking horse, ermm that probably should read High Horse and ask without the in your face juvenile attitude shit. This is the real world lad frequented by consenting and mostly very knowledgeable people who don’t pull punches and who are happy to help new folk who don’t display bad manners. Ohh BTW This is not a flame it is lesson 101 on good manners for those who have none. “You gotta play the game. It’s all in the game and how you play it!”

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 12:01:43 AM)
Nah Iron, I probably deserved that heh...

Focus50 -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 12:47:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Iron, I suppose not. But am I being paid to write correctly on this site? The short answer: no. However, I do try to type in correct spelling and grammar most of the time. So please feel free to criticize me on any and all errors I have made. But I would also appreciate us keeping this thread on topic, instead of going off into a debate on spelling and grammar, so please email me your corrections, if any, or start another topic in a forum that is not about asking a master for help on BDSM. Re your profile, and "reading between the lines", the point IB has made here is interesting and shouldn't be brushed aside lightly. Everything a person does in life reflects on who that person is (and that includes the slave you'll own and how she behaves through the standards you set for her).... Btw, do try avoiding telling people what they can post as Forums are for opinions; they're really not meant as a support group. Choose your battles and ignore what you might think is petty. Now a sub reading this thread or your profile might not know a lot of your D/s or life "skills" but she will have noticed what IB did - that there is a certain sloppiness in your execution for all to see, esp considering we are talking about your specific trade skills here. So is he sloppy in a D/s sense, too? You'll say 'No' and she's left to ponder your actions saying 'yes' on writing and grammar. I also appreciate your point and it isn't lost on me that the average motor mechanic often owns/drives a rattling old bomb. But this is D/s and you are looking to show your worthiness to own and be responsible for another, so you might wanna reflect on your answer to IB for future reference. Again, everything you do reflects on the Dominant within. As for your having your own place or job etc, obviously I don't know your personal circumstances and they were merely generalised examples of learning to be your own man - to master yourself first, as some phrased it. College seems like a good path for future lifestyle choices and financial security. Doing any of these things well will build your own confidence and that will show in the persona you exude. A profile isn't all about BDSM, especially if you're seeking a full time, committed relationship. Most of us, including me, have more going on in life than BDSM and no-one is in "Dom mode" all the time. Most happy M/s relationships involve sharing as equal, intelligent adults too! Maybe some do keep their slaves locked away until needed but I don't know any personally. The M/s lifestylers I do know look just like normal, ordinary adult people to the outside world.... If you are seeking a full time relationship that isn't just M/s, then you might wanna reflect that in your profile as many subs respond to Doms who have a feel of being a functioning, interesting human outside of the whips and ropes, too! Considering I think you are handling yourself quite well in this thread, I will make one generalised suggestion re your profile. The first time I went to post a profile, I wasn't sure what to write, either! So instead of wading through fem/sub profiles, I spent time looking at Dom profiles; to get a feel for what others write about themselves. Btw, that's how I discovered 98% of doms have (apparently) an 8" cock minimum.... lmao But you hafta temper what is often just cliche'd buzz words with being honest with yourself. The finished product hasta be something you can justify! Also, that was just my first draft and consequent updates over the years have been solely out of my own head - zero outside input. From there (and like I said previously), your profile will need to evolve because it becomes outdated to your ongoing life circumstances. And that's exactly what I'm presently contemplating about my own - it does need a full service and it's been barely a year now.... groan Focus.

IronBear -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 12:47:10 AM)
Fair comment and one which shows your hear is well screwed on and maturity.... I'm not the onkly one who is willing to help but you need to do the hard yards too. We just cant do them for you no matter how some may want to.... In all honesty, time is your friend here you have the time to learn slowly and learn well. I'd bet your studies will take up a fair wack of your time at the moment so you'll have to balance study with learning the lifestyle..... The best of Aussie luck to you.... You can always message me on the other side anyway. “You gotta play the game. It’s all in the game and how you play it!”

JohnWarren -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:10:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound MH- Didnt miss it, didnt see any reason to comment about it and I took it to myself. Ps, Knight: The mocking wasn't the advice, it was post number 61 that was mocking. Don't try to twist my words, please. I would go out and look around for books if the following were true: A) I had money aviliable (Rather difficult scenario right there, when I am a college student) B) There was a local library (There is, but it has no books on current subject.) C) There was a bookstore within this town. (Gee, theres like, 7 alchohol stores and no bookstores in this town, damn freaky) D) I was willing to spend around 20 dollars gas to go to the nearest bookstore or libary that HAD said book(s). (See A for my answer here.) Now you have me really curious. Back when I lived in New England, Conn was probably the state with the second most active scene. I used to go to a number of groups both to socialize and lecture. Of course, you don't have to "go" to bookstores. Publishers like Greenery Press have retail websites and there are other online bookstores that carry nonfiction about the scene. One big advantage of books is in most cases there is a third party review of the information that's in the book. It may be the author's work but editors generally provide feedback to try to make sure the information has at least a tangential relationship with reality. One doesn't get that with websites which generally are one person's view.

JohnWarren -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:17:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Yes, I am reading. I posted that before I read what you posted. If this happens, you have the option to edit your previously posted material. The window for this isn't huge but if you want to make changes within a few minutes. (I think it's half a hour) you can go back to the post and click on the "edit" button. After the time expires, your post is locked in stone.

PenelopePitstop -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:37:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Tell me something I can't find online that I can only find in a book. Edit: And can you please cease the mocking and focus on what the thread is about? Ever tried reading a screen under the covers? Important works of literature/ thought that are not yet in the Public Domain, Veracity of information. Also, much online information can be of the new variety, not so much "tried, tested and reviewed."

MistressOfGa -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:42:23 AM)
quote: One big advantage of books is in most cases there is a third party review of the information that's in the book. It may be the author's work but editors generally provide feedback to try to make sure the information has at least a tangential relationship with reality. One doesn't get that with websites which generally are one person's view. John, I was thinking this very same thing, when I saw the posted link for the information and Sound's comment of the information being exactly what he was looking for. That website was written by one person, it does not reflect the opinions or views of all Dominants or submissives for that matter. Now, if Sound just wants to come online, find the information on how to be a Dom, then he found it in that website. Personally I dont see how any submissive would go for such a cookie cutter Dominant like he will end up being. No originality, no self expression. Like MH said, pity.

Sadiesue -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:49:15 AM)
On the concept of being kind and considerate, or being cruel and unkind. My Master is extremely kind and considerate most of the time, except when he is punishing me, but then even afterwards he takes me in his arms and comforts me. But I always know when he means business and he can be extremely stern. It is the loving part of him that makes me want to do anything for him. Because when I please him my rewards are many. I think a Master must have a loving and kind nature to him, at least for me to be happy. Nobody wants someone that cannot show that side of themselves. This can be a very complicated lifestyle. My Master has done this all his adult life and knows what he is doing. At your age I feel you need some more experience before you go jumping into multiple slaves. You are dealing with human emotions and feelings. You can really mess someone up mentally, especially in the age group that you are in. So I would say take your time, get some experience under your belt and by all means communication with your slaves is the key. Just my opinion, take it or leave it.

MistressOfGa -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 8:42:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sadiesue On the concept of being kind and considerate, or being cruel and unkind. My Master is extremely kind and considerate most of the time, except when he is punishing me, but then even afterwards he takes me in his arms and comforts me. But I always know when he means business and he can be extremely stern. It is the loving part of him that makes me want to do anything for him. Because when I please him my rewards are many. I think a Master must have a loving and kind nature to him, at least for me to be happy. Nobody wants someone that cannot show that side of themselves. This can be a very complicated lifestyle. My Master has done this all his adult life and knows what he is doing. At your age I feel you need some more experience before you go jumping into multiple slaves. You are dealing with human emotions and feelings. You can really mess someone up mentally, especially in the age group that you are in. So I would say take your time, get some experience under your belt and by all means communication with your slaves is the key. Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Hi Sadiesue, excellent first post! Welcome to the boards.

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 5:21:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PenelopePitstop quote: ORIGINAL: Sound Tell me something I can't find online that I can only find in a book. Edit: And can you please cease the mocking and focus on what the thread is about? Ever tried reading a screen under the covers? Important works of literature/ thought that are not yet in the Public Domain, Veracity of information. Also, much online information can be of the new variety, not so much "tried, tested and reviewed." That's why they invented laptops and notepads :) On a more serious note, I don't really anticipicate a sub being interested in me at this phase of my life. I am about to toss all my eggs in the air, and hope they land in the basket, not on the ground so to speak. I will hopefully be successful in a rather huge gamble, investing in a house in Rochester to own. In regards to Connecticut being the second most active in the BDSM scene, I would like to see where you got that information. It may be entirely possible that I am out of the loop, although I strongly doubt that. Then again, it could just be this town. You wouldnt beleive the women here, to be honest. As for online bookstores and such, I didnt think of that. Forgive me for being dense, I do admit that I have these issues sometimes where you have to take a sledgehammer to my hard head. I will take your advice and one-up you, but not anytime soon. As I stated earlier, I'm about to make the biggest gamble in my life. To comment on becoming a textbook dom... This is the LAST thing that I want to accomplish. I strive on being one of a kind in unto myself. I think it's time to tell you a critical piece of information that I feel I have kept away. I am deaf. This means I cannot hear. I can speak very clearly, which is against the norm for deaf people, I can type in proper grammer, which is again, against the norm, and I am aiming for an English/Journalism degree, which is even further against the norm. I see no reason one lousy sense can prevent me from being who I want to be. Who do I want to be anyways? I want to be the one guy that everybody knows is different. The guy who's in that corner, that is very quiet, but once you get to know him, you love him instantly, and want to listen to his stories and thoughts. I am already there, to a degree. So becoming a textbook dom? Hah! I pride in individualism, and I will do the best I can to not be what you expect. Or anyone to expect. Or even God, if he exists, expects. Needless to say, I will not be making stupid mistakes. (Actually, that's not true, we all make those kinds of mistakes) I will make sure before I own a harem, I will enjoy the single sub I have. And that she is sure she wants more women. Trust me, I am very respectful of women, I just enjoy dominating them. It's a personality trait. P.S: I am not sure as to whom I criticized for posting their opinion, just a fyi. Some parts of focus' post confuses me. Anyhow, criticize me all you want now... I need to learn to stop requiring people to take a sledgehammer to my hard head. Thanks.

mnottertail -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 5:34:45 PM)
You may find that as pleasant as people tend to be here in the main; they really don't give a fuck........ I am an asshole and will divulge that up front......... All the sights; All the sounds--- There was a song like that once, but it will be ancient........soon Ron LOLOLOLOL

theRose4U -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 5:38:29 PM)
quote: In regards to Connecticut being the second most active in the BDSM scene, I would like to see where you got that information. It may be entirely possible that I am out of the loop, although I strongly doubt that. Yet again you get the foot in mouth disease. Did you BOTHER to read my post or even better...before you reply google John Warren and see how many listings, books and articles show he doesn't know anything. I'd say he's only been published since you were in diapers...maybe longer. For someone trying to learn their way you're successfully burning every bridge and insulting every resource you could ever want. Yet you continue to battle us with how much you claim to know while insulting those right and left that could help you stop opening our mouth and PROVING IGNORANCE. waaa waa waa I don't have money. Waa waa waa I go to school in a community of lesbians waaa waa waa I keep putting my foot in my mouth and won't stop...damned attractive. Now I see what that stable of subs is running after you. quote: I think it's time to tell you a critical piece of information that I feel I have kept away. I am deaf. just a sidenote you've already insulted two people with bad hearing and if I recall correctly the loving slave of a deaf Dom already. This is only a handicap if you let it be. Personally I'm not willing to excuse bad manners when you heard us all VERY clearly.

Sound -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 5:57:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U quote: In regards to Connecticut being the second most active in the BDSM scene, I would like to see where you got that information. It may be entirely possible that I am out of the loop, although I strongly doubt that. Yet again you get the foot in mouth disease. Did you BOTHER to read my post or even better...before you reply google John Warren and see how many listings, books and articles show he doesn't know anything. I'd say he's only been published since you were in diapers...maybe longer. For someone trying to learn their way you're successfully burning every bridge and insulting every resource you could ever want. Yet you continue to battle us with how much you claim to know while insulting those right and left that could help you stop opening our mouth and PROVING IGNORANCE. waaa waa waa I don't have money. Waa waa waa I go to school in a community of lesbians waaa waa waa I keep putting my foot in my mouth and won't stop...damned attractive. Now I see what that stable of subs is running after you. quote: I think it's time to tell you a critical piece of information that I feel I have kept away. I am deaf. just a sidenote you've already insulted two people with bad hearing and if I recall correctly the loving slave of a deaf Dom already. This is only a handicap if you let it be. Personally I'm not willing to excuse bad manners when you heard us all VERY clearly. Please tell me how I offended you. Ok, you edited your message. And I looked him up. Again for your sake, but I still dont quite understand why you are asking me to look him up, As all I can see is stuff about John Warren Davis. Is this the man You want me to look at? Or just "John Warren"?

theRose4U -> RE: Looking for help (2/26/2006 7:39:57 PM)
John Warren the exact same person you've been getting free advice from is a VERY well known BDSM author. I'd say just the 4-5 people that you've blown off their advice would have EASILY 100+ years of combined experience...(and that's assuming only 25 years a piece for Bear and John) THe very people that have taught and enlightened me on a million different BDSM topics are the same people you're blowing off and insulting with your arrogance. So yes I guess that pisses me off a little bit. Then you throw in what sounds like an excuse of I come off like a know it all jerk because I'm deaf. That one sent me around the bend. I think one of my old friends said it best. I'm not a good guy because I'm in a chair...I'm just a good guy. That arsehole on the other hand doesn't realize how good his life is and will always be more handicapped than I could ever be because he's paralzed between his ears.

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