Financial issues

Financial issues (Full Version)

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strob -> Financial issues (2/22/2006 9:52:42 AM)
I am just probably seeing things from a different aspect but I need one thing clarified. For some time now, I was having nice chats and exchanging messages with a certain Domme within this community. We seemed to be interested in each other and all the things we could provide, one to another. And then I asked this..."how do you feel about financial domination?" Suddenly, I got the feeling she got very mad at me and, since then, she wouldn't talk to me at all. This financial domination thing, from my point of view, is important if a real owner-slave relationship is to be developed. Why is it that I got ditched by Her so harshly?

BitaTruble -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 9:56:54 AM)
quote: This financial domination thing, from my point of view, is important if a real owner-slave relationship is to be developed. Why is it that I got ditched by Her so harshly? She may have felt insulted, but she's the only one who knows for sure. Celeste

FTopinMichigan -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 10:22:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble She may have felt insulted, but she's the only one who knows for sure. I agree with Celete. Only the woman can explain her reactions. Why not ask her directly, or take it that you two are just not right for one another. K

MistressDREAD -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 12:53:47 PM)
quote: And then I asked this..."how do you feel about financial domination?" . And is that just how you asked the question and did She say any answer to the question OTHER then your perception ? quote: Suddenly, I got the feeling she got very mad at me and, since then, she wouldn't talk to me at all. And the question above is the only thing you said BEFOR She wouldn't talk to you ? quote: This financial domination thing, from my point of view, is important if a real owner-slave relationship is to be develope Well I see the problem in this sentance. First off what matters is how the Dominant views Her Domination not you. to say what in your opinion is and is not important and with out it not have a relationship to develope just cut your ribbon right there in the nip. If you want to DICKtate how anothers Domination will happen you might as well become a Dominant. understand ??[8\|]

thetammyjo -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 1:03:51 PM)
It would never enter my mind to do financial domination. But if somone brought it up and was willing to go through a legal process to ensure the control really was mine and that he couldn't turn around and charge me with a crime later (she stole my money!) then I'd consider. Of course this is only true if we were training and the decision was being made to continue to an owner-slave relationship. We'd know each darned well by then but I'd still insist it was legal to protect myself, my own finances and my family.

fergus -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 1:04:33 PM)
A similar thing happened to me once, and I felt horribly embarrassed over the faux pas. Although, she DID do professional work, but we were not connected in that fashion. Wish I had an answer for you, at least you will learn for the next time. At any rate, SHE will tell you what she expects. fergus

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 1:05:53 PM)
Frankly, it would please Me if a boy made it clear that he did understand and agree with the fact that financial control is an important part of the M/s relationship. Because it is for Me, and that would show yet another compatibility. From what you describe it doesn't sound like you made that clear. In fact, when I first read it, I immediately took it as a challenging statement, and did not realize you meant otherwise until I continued to read. So did you continue to qualify this statement in your conversation? Or were other things happening? It is possible, also, that this Lady is not interested in any financial control at all, and felt you were trying to dictate what her level of interest should be. Not enough information here. Even so... Only the Lady you were speaking with can answer this question. Hopefully She will.

McWhips -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 3:46:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strob I am just probably seeing things from a different aspect but I need one thing clarified. For some time now, I was having nice chats and exchanging messages with a certain Domme within this community. We seemed to be interested in each other and all the things we could provide, one to another. And then I asked this..."how do you feel about financial domination?" Suddenly, I got the feeling she got very mad at me and, since then, she wouldn't talk to me at all. This financial domination thing, from my point of view, is important if a real owner-slave relationship is to be developed. Why is it that I got ditched by Her so harshly? The chances are that she was probably interested in having your money aka 'financial Domination'. If I where you I'd run a mile, financial Domination may be a nice fantasy for some on paper but I think it would be extremely hard to actually find someone who is interested in it solely for the purpose of a real trusting enjoyable D/s dynamic as opposed to just wanting to make themselves richer at the expense of someone they dont particularly love or like. I assume you are looking for a relationship with a Domme. So be sensible and use common sense.

TexasMaam -> RE: Financial issues (2/22/2006 8:54:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold Frankly, it would please Me if a boy made it clear that he did understand and agree with the fact that financial control is an important part of the M/s relationship. Because it is for Me, and that would show yet another compatibility. From what you describe it doesn't sound like you made that clear. In fact, when I first read it, I immediately took it as a challenging statement, and did not realize you meant otherwise until I continued to read. So did you continue to qualify this statement in your conversation? Or were other things happening? It is possible, also, that this Lady is not interested in any financial control at all, and felt you were trying to dictate what her level of interest should be. Not enough information here. Even so... Only the Lady you were speaking with can answer this question. Hopefully She will. Like Dusty, I would be most appreciative of a sub's willingness to relinquish financial control. I have worked hard to accumulate what I have and it's important to Me that a sub contribute financially to our relationship. Curiously, I reacted to the phrase with the same skepticism GoddessDustyGold did; it came across to Me as a challenge rather than an inquiry phrased as it is here on the board. I wonder why that is? I agree with Dusty, either your interest/inquiry tone was not clear, or there were other circumstances that caused this Domme to stop communicating with you. I would encourage you to attempt to communicate again, and if She does not respond, simply remember that there will be a Domme for whom financial control is important; don't let this set you back. Texas Maam

MsPurrmeow -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 12:10:20 AM)
As with other comments above, you'll never know what's in her head until and unless she chooses to share. She could just be pondering her answer. Maybe she hadn't thought about it at all before? Maybe she's bad with money? Some people just freak out about anything involving money. Many of us also get accused by forlorn subs and slaves of financial domination, when in fact, no such thing ever occurred. It's commonly used as an insult right next to "you're not real" or "you're a fake" or even "I'm going to spread all kinds of stories about you, you Predator!" (all just because they didn't get the wanking materials they were looking for.) No one can answer this for you. All we can do is toss out possibilities, and there are many. Send her another message with your explanation. If she still doesn't respond, then she has chosen not to pursue anything with you. That's how these things work.

imtempting -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 4:39:05 AM)
Alot off people would see financial domination as having to micro managae you. Domme's are humans and have their own financials situations to deal without needing the added stress off working out your things. Some people enjoy financially dominating people. In my opinion though, the people who enjoy it just want a free ride..

RavenMuse -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 5:26:43 AM)
The young lady that currently holds my interest has a much higher income than I do... so as far as I am concerned that puts financial domination into the hard limit catagory. I will not be financialy carried by ANYONE. I live comfortably on what I have and my own pride wouldn't let me 'leach' off someone else. If the Domme in question has had someone accuse her of such in the past then it maybe she is very touchy about the subject. The only way to find out is to ask.... politely and carefully!

LthrdWolf -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 5:41:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: strob I am just probably seeing things from a different aspect but I need one thing clarified. For some time now, I was having nice chats and exchanging messages with a certain Domme within this community. We seemed to be interested in each other and all the things we could provide, one to another. And then I asked this..."how do you feel about financial domination?" Suddenly, I got the feeling she got very mad at me and, since then, she wouldn't talk to me at all. This financial domination thing, from my point of view, is important if a real owner-slave relationship is to be developed. Why is it that I got ditched by Her so harshly? Although people have made some Good points,& I am Not Her & so would Not speak for Her in any way,here is My take on this 'if' & only if it were Me. If you asked me how do I 'feel' about financial domination,I would discuss it with you.To me it would be no different than any other type of PE/TPE query between two potentially D/s people getting to know one another. LthrdWolf ...unless of course you have inadvertantly/not necessarily on purpose left things out when sharing this.

BeachMystress -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 5:50:13 AM)
I have a bit of a different insight into why she may have bailed on you. There are a lot of wankers out there who say they're into financial domination as a carrot to interest inexperienced Domme into playing online with them. They have no intention of ever entering into financial domination with the woman. A 20 year old friend of mine spent almost three weeks on this guy who led her on with the idea, then when push came to shove, he laughed at her. She's pretty bitter about the experience. Could be your Domme friend had a similar experience

UtopianRanger -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 10:19:41 AM)
quote: The chances are that she was probably interested in having your money aka 'financial Domination'. If I where you I'd run a mile, financial Domination may be a nice fantasy for some on paper but I think it would be extremely hard to actually find someone who is interested in it solely for the purpose of a real trusting enjoyable D/s dynamic as opposed to just wanting to make themselves richer at the expense of someone they dont particularly love or like. Here is a little secret.... for anyone suffering from the self-loathing complex known as ''all they want is your money'' it works along the same lines as gestalt therapy... During the course of your day, repeat to yourself ''Money is God not the Domme'' repeat that verse about a hundred times while staring straight into the sun light and you'll never worry about women who are only after you for your cash[8\|] - The Ranger

Slipstreme -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 10:32:48 AM)
.........yeah.........if you want to be blinded by the light.

yourMissTress -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 10:58:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger quote: The chances are that she was probably interested in having your money aka 'financial Domination'. If I where you I'd run a mile, financial Domination may be a nice fantasy for some on paper but I think it would be extremely hard to actually find someone who is interested in it solely for the purpose of a real trusting enjoyable D/s dynamic as opposed to just wanting to make themselves richer at the expense of someone they dont particularly love or like. Here is a little secret.... for anyone suffering from the self-loathing complex known as ''all they want is your money'' it works along the same lines as gestalt therapy... During the course of your day, repeat to yourself ''Money is God not the Domme'' repeat that verse about a hundred times while staring straight into the sun light and you'll never worry about women who are only after you for your cash[8\|] - The Ranger LMMFAO!!!!!!!! Ranger you hit it right on the head !!! My ex had the same mentality. While he didn't have a pot to piss in when we met and for most of the time that we were married, and certainly didn't when we split, he claims to this day that I never loved him and all I wanted was his $$$$. I told the judge at the divorce hearing that I wanted nothing from him not even child support. But still he said all I wanted was money. Umm, ok, bye now.

McWhips -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 12:50:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger quote: The chances are that she was probably interested in having your money aka 'financial Domination'. If I where you I'd run a mile, financial Domination may be a nice fantasy for some on paper but I think it would be extremely hard to actually find someone who is interested in it solely for the purpose of a real trusting enjoyable D/s dynamic as opposed to just wanting to make themselves richer at the expense of someone they dont particularly love or like. Here is a little secret.... for anyone suffering from the self-loathing complex known as ''all they want is your money'' it works along the same lines as gestalt therapy... During the course of your day, repeat to yourself ''Money is God not the Domme'' repeat that verse about a hundred times while staring straight into the sun light and you'll never worry about women who are only after you for your cash[8\|] - The Ranger My sentiments do not hail from any kind of self loathing or personal issues at all, I guarantee that! Seeing as I am content with my life this means I dont have to suppress my standards, ethics or proclatives and agree with everyone just to gain favour (A bit like a typical female sub). I think thats quite the opposite to self loathing.

McWhips -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 1:06:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imtempting Some people enjoy financially dominating people. In my opinion though, the people who enjoy it just want a free ride.. Its quite simple childs math really. Female subs and Doms are roughly equal numbers to each other and there are little to no relationships between them that hinge upon money being given to the Dom. While male subs out number Dommes 100:1 and many of the relationships between those depend on money being given to the Domme in one form or another. No-one can deny that fact. You could argue that there may be some male Doms out there who live financially off their female sub but I would bet my pretty face that such a Dom would be seen as a total wrongen, get dissed for it big time and so on and so on.

BeachMystress -> RE: Financial issues (2/23/2006 4:01:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: imtempting In my opinion though, the people who enjoy it just want a free ride.. A free ride?? You have no clue how much work financial domination is for the Dominant. They have to budget the sub's money and get the bills paid. They set forth an allowance for the sub, deal with investments, start and put money into the Christmas Clubs and savings, plan for future large expenditures (car, house) and emergencies and such. You're discussing your fantasy idea of what financial domination is, not reality. While controlling the purse strings does give you a lot of power it is also a hell of a lot of work with scary real world reprecussions for messing up.

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