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ORIGINAL: daintydimples

As a general rule, males are not good at breaking up. They tend to just disappear or fade away and hope you figure it out for yourself.

I'm not sure why this is, but I have experienced it as well. The lack of closure sucks.

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ORIGINAL: lizi

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ORIGINAL: daintydimples

As a general rule, males are not good at breaking up. They tend to just disappear or fade away and hope you figure it out for yourself.

I'm not sure why this is, but I have experienced it as well. The lack of closure sucks.

I agree with this posting wholeheartedly.

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

First off major hugs... the unexpected ending of a relationship is bad enough but not giving someone closure.. well.

As for giving you an STD I'm also so sorry. Doesn't take much to check up regularly, irrespective of whether you're in a relationship or not.

But you know up to a point this relationship was a successful one and there were feelings involved. It came to an end, as most relationships do, and that ending was unfortunate.

Please try to resist turning the feelings of love to feelings of hate, it only prolongs the pain and hurt. Try to accept it for what it was, a relationship that worked out for a time with someone you shared feelings with for a time. Your expectations of him weren't fulfilled that's all.

Let go, be nice to yourself. The more you let go and the more you accept things for what they were the better the progress you'll make and the easier the recovery.

People who are wise, intelligent and beautiful also get hurt in their relationships. You feel a fool because you feel deceived perhaps, perhaps by him, perhaps by yourself, but the pain is coming from all those unfulfilled expectations.

You have loved and lost and this only goes to show that you are capable of loving and being loved. Replace those unfulfilled expectations lest they become baggage with fresh dreams and fresh hopes.

You are live. You will love and be loved again. And you know dreams come true for those who really believe.

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I wish there was a place where one could post the names of those who have this and pass it around without concern for others.

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

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So here I am saying.......if you are breaking with someone at least give them the courtesy of telling them. Dont be a coward and just walk away.

**hugs**  I'm gonna skip the topic of STD's and just talk about the breakup part.  I have had this done to me so so many times, and I know exactly how you feel.   There isn't much worse of a way to be broken up with, IMO.  It definitely can leave you angry and bitter.  I wish I had some advice on how to deal with it, but this is something I have never learned.  I no longer give ANY man the benefit of the doubt that he won't end up doing this very thing, leaving a big empty hole where he once stood.  So you know what I eventually did learn from it?  I learned to break up with them before they break up with me.  Which means I rarely have anything last more than 3 weeks with anyone.  I just went through this, as a matter of fact... made it through 4 great weeks, and then broke up with him 3 times during the 5th week.  He's told me he never wants to talk to me again because of this, but at least I wasn't on the other end of it, left standing in the dust, looking around wondering where he went.

This is what unresolved bitterness and anger can do to us... it turns us into someone we don't want to be.  I will never understand how a guy can suddenly just quit caring, or quit caring long before he bothers to let you know.  Men would rather be a cowardly jerk than do the right thing. 

I guess I'm just venting right along with you.  Maybe it'll help to know you're not alone.  I'll tell him off for ya and put him in his place if you want... I've gotten pretty good at that over the years.

**more hugs**!!

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ORIGINAL: antipode

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I wish there was a place where one could post the names of those who have this and pass it around without concern for others.

There is. It is called "police" and "district attourney's office". Passing on STDs is a prosecutable offense, and has been for years. If I understand correctly you did not report him to the authorities (the CDC will even take a report, from you or from your doctor) that means you still have not learned your lesson, because you are putting others at risk - others he will connect with. Instead, you're here moaning, and not standing up for your rights, getting what you can out of him, and putting him in jail. Again - there isn't any point in moaning here, if you want to make sure others don't fall in this trap, the court case needs to be in the papers, and on CNN. Get with the program.

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Living life on lifes terms means taking responsibility for the fact that everything that happens in our lives we ourselves are in some way responsible for and if we stop trying to point fingers and stick instead to trying to learn from it and not allowing it to happen again we will all be much happier people..... at least today I know that I am.

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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
And I totally don't I have yet to be in a relationship where the male part didnt communicate the split with me.

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
And I totally don't I have yet to be in a relationship where the male part didnt communicate the split with me.

God, thank you for that Lilly. Honestly the things that women routinely say about men astound me. It also astounds me that so seldom does anyone say "hey wait." The equivalent statement regarding women might be something like,

"For the most part, women are not good at thinking logically. They just tend to drift off into some sort of emotional dream land. I'm not sure why this is, but I've experienced it and the lack of common sense sucks"

Somehow, I'm guessing that if I posted that statement, it would not be so casually accepted.

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ORIGINAL: Muirren

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ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2

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So here I am saying.......if you are breaking with someone at least give them the courtesy of telling them. Dont be a coward and just walk away.

**hugs**  I'm gonna skip the topic of STD's and just talk about the breakup part.  I have had this done to me so so many times, and I know exactly how you feel.   There isn't much worse of a way to be broken up with, IMO.  It definitely can leave you angry and bitter.  I wish I had some advice on how to deal with it, but this is something I have never learned.  I no longer give ANY man the benefit of the doubt that he won't end up doing this very thing, leaving a big empty hole where he once stood.  So you know what I eventually did learn from it?  I learned to break up with them before they break up with me.  Which means I rarely have anything last more than 3 weeks with anyone.  I just went through this, as a matter of fact... made it through 4 great weeks, and then broke up with him 3 times during the 5th week.  He's told me he never wants to talk to me again because of this, but at least I wasn't on the other end of it, left standing in the dust, looking around wondering where he went.

This is what unresolved bitterness and anger can do to us... it turns us into someone we don't want to be.  I will never understand how a guy can suddenly just quit caring, or quit caring long before he bothers to let you know.  Men would rather be a cowardly jerk than do the right thing. 

I guess I'm just venting right along with you.  Maybe it'll help to know you're not alone.  I'll tell him off for ya and put him in his place if you want... I've gotten pretty good at that over the years.

**more hugs**!!

I agree with HarderToBreathe2. It is self preservation. I gave my all to one, and ended up getting bitten in the ass at the end of 5 mos. It wil NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.

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. . . some were done better than others but only a couple of them were done in a manner that didn't leave me feeling like shit. So does that translate to "in general, women don't know how to break up with a guy"?

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ORIGINAL: leadership527

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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
And I totally don't I have yet to be in a relationship where the male part didnt communicate the split with me.

God, thank you for that Lilly. Honestly the things that women routinely say about men astound me. It also astounds me that so seldom does anyone say "hey wait." The equivalent statement regarding women might be something like,

"For the most part, women are not good at thinking logically. They just tend to drift off into some sort of emotional dream land. I'm not sure why this is, but I've experienced it and the lack of common sense sucks"

Somehow, I'm guessing that if I posted that statement, it would not be so casually accepted.

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Yeah probably not the best of ideas to get me started, but all the 'all men are...' crap that comes out of many a bitter mouth makes me want to dust the soap box off and bore them all to tears

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I have had friends of both genders who are shit to their partners at the end.

If you see a pattern in your relationships, look for the common denominator. (I don't want to pick up on your previous post here hun, but a LOT of what was written in there explains your experience, thats not typical male behaviour but typical you behaviour)

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ORIGINAL: shouldhaveknown

He never told me that he had an STD......... I wish there was a place where one could post the names of those who have this and pass it around without concern for others.