RE: Men and Emotions?

RE: Men and Emotions? (Full Version)

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FawneTwo -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 6:23:52 PM)
I love your sense of humor. [:)] TY Harder I have no clue if he'd feel safe enough to come back because you are so right - it's HIS decision. Me, myself? I don't count on anything. I loved from a far and felt like a fan and I accepted that. One thing in life I've learned is don't count anything out. We never do know how beautiful life can be and how love can tranform quitetly and i'd write my fear down but the bunk i wrote just sounds too good to sully LOL [:(]

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 6:24:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus So after five pages of largely anecdotal responses that can only loosely be strung into some coherent consensus... do you feel like you understand the big picture better? Lol. Actually, yes, I did get a lot from this. It's all swimming around in my brain right now trying to find an anchor so that I will hopefully never make the same mistake with someone again (that is, assume they are an emotionless jackass simply because they are male). I need to go back through here and compile a few of these points into some kind of journal for myself, because it certainly never hurts to reflect on things further.

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 6:29:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FawneTwo I love your sense of humor. [:)] TY Harder I have no clue if he'd feel safe enough to come back because you are so right - it's HIS decision. Me, myself? I don't count on anything. I loved from a far and felt like a fan and I accepted that. One thing in life I've learned is don't count anything out. We never do know how beautiful life can be and how love can tranform quitetly and i'd write my fear down but the bunk i wrote just sounds too good to sully LOL [:(] Lol, I love your humor too Fawne!! [:)] What's your fear, I wanna know [;)]

leadership527 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 6:39:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus So after five pages of largely anecdotal responses that can only loosely be strung into some coherent consensus... do you feel like you understand the big picture better? I'd say that was an incredible summary... or, at least, it made me laugh.

FawneTwo -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 6:59:21 PM)
Hey [:)] I walked away - and i came back LOL ( totally joking) I fuss over imperfections and torment myself when i don't feel 'worthy'. I fret he'll never like me and we're doomed. [:'(]How's that for negative??? He isn't harsh, notes progess made. He'll give a girl a chance. He sees her worth ( he may have to squint) - some traits of a non-assh*le. I surrender my self - judgement.

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 7:18:32 PM)
quote: Hey [:)] I walked away - and i came back LOL ( totally joking) yay, you give me hope!!! lol quote: I fuss over imperfections and torment myself when i don't feel 'worthy'. I fret he'll never like me and we're doomed. [:'(]How's that for negative??? oh god, i do that too. it's torture, isn't it? why must we do it to ourselves :P

leadership527 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 7:30:50 PM)
~fast reply~ OK, I need to take a step backwards on this thread. Human mating rituals are about the farthest thing from shallow that it's possibl to find. It's been pointed out to me by my ever-so-diligently respectful yet stubbornly persistent slave girl that I'm an idiot. Saying that men like youth & beauty and women like the ability to provide materially is a gross over-simplification of what is actuallly a terribly complicated selection process. In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if a single behavior like that can be shallow. I think you'd need to evaluate the totality of the situation then declare that either shallow or not. Which would again point to the fact that whether or not men, in part, determine relative hierarchy based upon the woman on their arm, says nothing about the entirety of however men figure these things out. Again, I'm hard pressed to name any single thing that is either shallow or not.

VanityFix -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/12/2009 11:55:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2 quote: what i find important for men to do is embrace feeling emotion, allow to be weak. Same as if a woman wants to be a housewife she can still be a femminist, a male should be able to step outside a dominant social role(manly man type) and still be considered a "real man". I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think, though, that perhaps it's other men that keep a man from feeling free to express emotion... maybe? I think the majority of women, myself included, would tell you that we highly respect and appreciate it when a man says how he feels. It eliminates so much of the guesswork that can lead to problems in relationships. for sure, a few women might view the idea of sensativity in men as weak but its defianatly predominatly a male agression kinda thing brought on by guys interacting with other guys, its far more socially acseptable to show emotion to women as a man than other men. "I want a man who is kind and understanding and patient. I still like certain "manly" qualities, but the tough-guy thing has lost it's appeal." i am very weak kneed myself around men who can get past the "be a man" bullshit and still have strong mascalin qualities with maybe a mix of sensative flamboyance.. oh say maybe a drag queen on a harley.. [8\|]

VanityFix -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 12:00:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack quote: ORIGINAL: VanityFix Same as if a woman wants to be a housewife she can still be a femminist, a male should be able to step outside a dominant social role(manly man type) and still be considered a "real man". Hey! C'mon here! I must be a "real man"! I don't eat quiche! yup, as a representative of the fake man club we must reject your application on account of being able to grow a beard, sorry bud. maybe the fake domme club might have you [:D]

VanIsleKnight -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 12:10:36 AM)
I find that so many people have so bloody many definitions of what a real "man" is that I just say screw em. A man is a human being with a penis or whatever the chromosomes are. After that, it's just different types of people. Possible definitions of man I've heard over the years: One who is confident in expressing his feelings. One who doesn't take shit from anyone. One who works hard for a living, takes his woman, and drinks beer. One that has plenty of body hair. One that is calm, in control, and can defuse any situation without needing violence. One that isn't controlled by his penis. One that does not hit women. One that is a chivalrous knight in shining armor. One that doesn't take lip from his woman. One that can protect himself and whatever (whoever) belongs to him. I could go on and on. I'm certainly not going to be able to please everyone, so nuts to the ones whose idea of "man" I do not fulfill. I've my qualities, my flaws, my personality traits, and physical attributes. I am who I am, and while I will never cease to try to improve myself either physically, mentally, or spiritually, no amount of adapting or learning will make me acceptable to every human being on earth. So I shall make myself acceptable to me. :)

FawneTwo -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 6:02:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2 me quote: I fuss over imperfections and torment myself you quote: oh god, i do that too. If I was perfect I'd be A BOT ! you quote: it's torture, isn't it? why must we do it to ourselves :P With all the hungry sadists in the world , could we be more selfish? sigh...

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 8:52:08 AM)
quote: I'm certainly not going to be able to please everyone, so nuts to the ones whose idea of "man" I do not fulfill. I've my qualities, my flaws, my personality traits, and physical attributes. I am who I am, and while I will never cease to try to improve myself either physically, mentally, or spiritually, no amount of adapting or learning will make me acceptable to every human being on earth. So I shall make myself acceptable to me. :) I really LOVE what you said here. :)

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 8:55:12 AM)
quote: you quote: it's torture, isn't it? why must we do it to ourselves :P With all the hungry sadists in the world , could we be more selfish? sigh... Hahaha, you're awesome [:)]

interlocutor -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 10:19:47 AM)
Most of my relationships have lasted over 2 years. In most of my relationships the breakup has been initiated by her. For me (and I would imagine most men) I shared my deepest emotions with my partners, but when they broke up with me I cut them off. For me that level of sharing is reserved for mates. If we are breaking up I no longer share that part of me. I'm not going to let them know how much it hurts, and if I can pull it off.. that I even hurt at all. Why should I? The access to my emotions obviously wasn't valuable to her so why I allow it to continue.

HarderToBreathe2 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 10:37:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: interlocutor Most of my relationships have lasted over 2 years. In most of my relationships the breakup has been initiated by her. For me (and I would imagine most men) I shared my deepest emotions with my partners, but when they broke up with me I cut them off. For me that level of sharing is reserved for mates. If we are breaking up I no longer share that part of me. I'm not going to let them know how much it hurts, and if I can pull it off.. that I even hurt at all. Why should I? The access to my emotions obviously wasn't valuable to her so why I allow it to continue. Thanks for this, it helps to know what a guy is thinking, and it makes total sense.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 10:50:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HarderToBreathe2 quote: ORIGINAL: interlocutor Most of my relationships have lasted over 2 years. In most of my relationships the breakup has been initiated by her. For me (and I would imagine most men) I shared my deepest emotions with my partners, but when they broke up with me I cut them off. For me that level of sharing is reserved for mates. If we are breaking up I no longer share that part of me. I'm not going to let them know how much it hurts, and if I can pull it off.. that I even hurt at all. Why should I? The access to my emotions obviously wasn't valuable to her so why I allow it to continue. Thanks for this, it helps to know what a guy is thinking, and it makes total sense. but it only helps you to know and makes sense with regards to what that particular guy is thinking...not A guy. guys aren't all the same just like women aren't all the same. your original question seems to this slave like an exercise in futility---for example, not all women handle break-ups and feel their emotions the same as you do, so why would you think guys all feel their emotions and handle break-ups the same?

interlocutor -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 11:10:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth but it only helps you to know and makes sense with regards to what that particular guy is thinking...not A guy. guys aren't all the same just like women aren't all the same. your original question seems to this slave like an exercise in futility---for example, not all women handle break-ups and feel their emotions the same as you do, so why would you think guys all feel their emotions and handle break-ups the same? Sure I may not be the same as every guy, I might not even be average. Just because every one doesn't act exactly the same doesn't mean that there aren't things in common. Knowing my reasons for the way I act might lend some insight into the way other men behave. Unless you are suggesting that I am a freak of nature completely dissimilar to every other man on the plant, how can understanding me a little better be harmful to her worldview? After all, she didn't say, "thanks, I now completely understand the human male."

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 11:31:54 AM)
dont ya just love sheep types i mean come on just be you there are a ton of people out there who would love you for you I think we get wrapped up into bad circles and can not see beyond the hole we are in at times but I will tell you there are truely great people It takes time it takes work you have to listen understand not everyone is 100 percent what you want or need but every i mean every relationship you encounter diserves 100 percent attention to detail if not it will fail

Mercnbeth -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 11:34:11 AM)
quote: ...Just because every one doesn't act exactly the same doesn't mean that there aren't things in common... indeed there are things in common with everyone...not just ALL males or ALL females...like everyone cries, or everyone loves. this slave doesn't see the point in trying to establish male/female common denominators as they pertain to emotions, feelings or how one deals with a break-up. people are individuals, men are individuals...even if their chromosomes line up the same way as the next man. it has been this slave's experience that it doesn't necessarily predispose them to distinctive male/female differences in dealing with break-ups or emotions. that's all this slave is saying. quote: ...Unless you are suggesting that I am a freak of nature completely dissimilar to every other man on the plant, how can understanding me a little better be harmful to her worldview?... like yours, this slave's comments might lend some insight, as well. in this slave's opinion, you are just as much a freak of nature as the next human being...and although you might share similarities at a chromosome level, this slave wouldn't assume that how you handle your emotions or a break-up is going to be the same as other men just because you carry around a dick in your pants and shave your face every day...and so do they.

interlocutor -> RE: Men and Emotions? (8/13/2009 12:24:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...Just because every one doesn't act exactly the same doesn't mean that there aren't things in common... indeed there are things in common with everyone...not just ALL males or ALL females...like everyone cries, or everyone loves. this slave doesn't see the point in trying to establish male/female common denominators as they pertain to emotions, feelings or how one deals with a break-up. people are individuals, men are individuals...even if their chromosomes line up the same way as the next man. it has been this slave's experience that it doesn't necessarily predispose them to distinctive male/female differences in dealing with break-ups or emotions. that's all this slave is saying. quote: ...Unless you are suggesting that I am a freak of nature completely dissimilar to every other man on the plant, how can understanding me a little better be harmful to her worldview?... like yours, this slave's comments might lend some insight, as well. in this slave's opinion, you are just as much a freak of nature as the next human being...and although you might share similarities at a chromosome level, this slave wouldn't assume that how you handle your emotions or a break-up is going to be the same as other men just because you carry around a dick in your pants and shave your face every day...and so do they. So while being male or female doesn't necessitate a predisposition, nonetheless significant predispositions among the population exists. In my experience assuming certain predispositions or characteristics as a starting point while keeping an open mind and readily accepting difference is far better than ignoring our commonality and assuming I couldn't understand how some one feels simply because I've never met them. Yes everyone is different, but in my experience most women feel differently than I do about certain things, and about those same things I find most men I know have similar feeling to me. Yes there are exceptions, but I have an open mind and readily accept those differences when they occur, but this does not mean I disregard all of the other experience that demonstrates common emotional responses that are characteristic to each gender respectively.

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