RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE".....

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 1:37:38 PM

BoiJen

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I'll make the note, that should we visit MsLaT at her home, MsKitty ain't the dishes and neither is the Hostess. lo

boi

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 3:16:07 PM

poeticfreak

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: poeticfreak

well since we're broadening the topic how about a poll for everyone.
what trait or quality do you consider a must have for your partner? the thing that if they didn't have would be a deal breaker no matter what else they brought to the table.

To be able to carry on an entire conversation without feeling they have to mention anything kink related. Seriously.

my must have is similar, but also includes being comfortable enough with each other that it is not necessary to fill every silence with words because even the silence has become comfortable, and it's not that there isn't anything to say but that nothing needs to be said

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 3:35:46 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poeticfreak

well since we're broadening the topic how about a poll for everyone.
what trait or quality do you consider a must have for your partner? the thing that if they didn't have would be a deal breaker no matter what else they brought to the table.

Damned good question. For me, absolutely all things considered (good bum, smouldering eyes, fat purse [only joking]), it'd have to be a sense of humour. I can't connect otherwise.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 3:52:32 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Let's say that I have about an even level of interest in two male subs. They both have the type of personality and moral character that I feel would suit Me. Pretty much equal in most ways, but I find that one of them has a skill, such as massage, that I know I enjoy and would like to be served in that way. That could make him the better candidate for Me and I'm more likely to chose him.

That inspires a different question in me: if I met two women who both thought the world of me, were beautiful, great company, warm-hearted . . . etc, etc . . . but one was rich (and generous to me with her money) while the other was poor - which one would I choose?

I don't know. Oddly, maybe, I've never really thought about it. My father would say "Go for the rich one, son. What's the matter with you? I brought you up better than that." My mother would say, icily, "So you want to be a kept man, do you?" - and she'd carry on saying that right to her grave (and very probably afterwards, too).

But it's a false question, of course. It doesn't relate to real life. In real life, I think people are much more holistic in their appraisals of potential partners. One woman I'll love more than the other, and I'll only be half-conscious of any lists of their respective qualities, if conscious at all.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 3:56:15 PM

Starbuck09

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Surely sexual attraction is the most needed? Everything else is incredibly important but someone who is funny, intelligent, kind, compassionate, athletic, good at chess e.t.c. e.t.c. but who is not sexually attractive to me comes under the monniker of friend.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:12:54 PM

PeonForHer

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OK. I guess that 'sexually attractive' I'm taking as given . . .

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:31:58 PM

PeonForHer

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FR

. . . I've just realised that this entire thread doesn't concern me, anyway - because I'm not, and never will be, a ****ing "boi"!

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:33:59 PM

LadyHibiscus

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No wonder I like you so well, Peon!

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:42:44 PM

PeonForHer

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Aw Lady Hib . . . You're as sound as a bell - as well as a good egg.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:42:59 PM

Leiren

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Before I registered to post here, I lurked for two days. I'll admit that the OP really squicked me with her insinuations that only a very wealthy male sub had any right to claim to be worthy of her time and attention.

I honestly don't think I misread what she implied. This very thread is the one that prompted me to register so I could post on the forum myself. Up until now I've kept very quiet even on the thread that prompted me to register.

Now, I just have one question. I've been actively involved in D/s dynamics for nearly ten years. I'm happily collared. My perspective is coming from a male/female D/s perspective, though.

But why is it that it only seems to be female dominants who ask for 'tributes'. I don't consider myself a newbie, but I've never seen a male dominant ask for a tribute before considering a female sub/slave, orcontinue to go on and on about receiving tributes from a female sub/slave after a relationship was established.

Could someone please enlighten me as to why this seems to be a female dominant thing? I mean no disrespect. It's just that this entire tribute thing seems to be an exclusive demand from female dominants to male sub types.

Thanks in advance.

< Message edited by Leiren -- 8/17/2009 5:44:48 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:49:29 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Male dominants expect sexual favours, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. Tribute's what you make of it, right?

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:50:24 PM

SomethingCatchy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poeticfreak

well since we're broadening the topic how about a poll for everyone.
what trait or quality do you consider a must have for your partner? the thing that if they didn't have would be a deal breaker no matter what else they brought to the table.

I have two - common sense and self confidence. The guy I'm with has common sense, but I'm hoping that patience will see his self confidence come out soon.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:52:10 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

quote:

ORIGINAL: poeticfreak

well since we're broadening the topic how about a poll for everyone.
what trait or quality do you consider a must have for your partner? the thing that if they didn't have would be a deal breaker no matter what else they brought to the table.

I have two - common sense and self confidence. The guy I'm with has common sense, but I'm hoping that patience will see his self confidence come out soon.

Make sure he succeeds at things, and recognizes that he has succeeded. Any other source of confidence can be eroded. That source is something no one can take away from him, because he built it himself.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:54:04 PM

PeonForHer

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I always thought it was basically about the law of supply and demand. There are lots more malesubs than there are femdoms. Economics, in short . . . .

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:56:25 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Male dominants expect sexual favours, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. Tribute's what you make of it, right?

No. Tribute's about the monetary value of gifts. I thought we'd sorted that out, Lady Hib?

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:56:35 PM

GoDolphins

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I'm interested to know this too. I'm wondering if tribute is expected from male subs by so many female dominants because they're subs or because they're male (i.e. going back to the traditional male role of being the primary monetary provider in a relationship).

I brought this up a few days ago and have yet to receive a single response, but maybe with two people bringing it up now it'll be discussed. I really think a lot of people's issues could be resolved if we discussed whether this comes from the BDSM role of sub and dom(me) or from gender roles of men and women.

This was in response to Leiren. I didn't expect about 5 posts would get in between then and the time this got posted.

< Message edited by GoDolphins -- 8/17/2009 5:58:01 PM >

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 5:56:56 PM

Leiren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Male dominants expect sexual favours, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. Tribute's what you make of it, right?

Am I understanding you correctly when you imply that female dominants enter into all of their relationships with no expectation of sexual services?

I'm honestly not trying to be snarky. As I mentioned, I'm not at all familiar with female doms and their male subs and what each party expects from one another.

It still boils down to the fact that I've never been involved in or even heard about a male dominant requiring a financial tribute.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 6:06:09 PM

PeonForHer

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a financial tribute.

Leiren, I don't blame you for using that tawdry phrase, because it's apt. Before I duck out of this debate, I would just like to say that I'm never going to give any woman 'a financial tribute'. If there are any women around who want to call me 'tight-fisted' and 'penny-pinching' because I have that policy - I would just like to state, in as simple a way as I can, that as far as I'm concerned they can fuck off and swivel on it.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 6:10:10 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren
It still boils down to the fact that I've never been involved in or even heard about a male dominant requiring a financial tribute.

There are plenty of male Master/female slave relationships where the woman works and gives all her money to the man. There are plenty of vanilla relationships where this happens, too. The word "tribute" is an internet advertising creation, much as the word "generous" was a personal ad creation that has spilled into online.

I think the explanation about the proliferation of "tribute profiles" is much simpler and less emotion-making than most people seem to believe. A woman hears "$200 an hour" and thinks holy shit, that sounds great, and hey, the profile is free, so I'll try it. The reality, though, is that prodomming is a real job, prodommes net just a "regular" wage each month, and most women burn out fast. That's part of why so many women's profiles talk about the fake subs. Women are sold a bunch of lies by the porn industry, just like men, and they think, incorrectly, that getting an inbox full of "You're a Goddess" emails will turn into cash by paying clients. It almost never does.

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RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OL... - 8/17/2009 6:11:58 PM

Leiren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Male dominants expect sexual favours, cooking, cleaning, etc etc. Tribute's what you make of it, right?

No. Tribute's about the monetary value of gifts. I thought we'd sorted that out, Lady Hib?

What you said, Peonforher!

I'm still left with a nasty feeling that the OP intended to imply that only a very wealthy sub was worthy since she also added several nasty comments about limpdicks, etc.

She sure as hell left the impression with me that her intent was to imply that only a male sub who had the financial means to buy her cars, clothes, floggers, .... whatever... was worth her time.

The fact that she denigrated any male sub who doesn't have the disposable income as her own sub really came across as crass.

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