RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE" (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE...THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE" (8/23/2009 2:28:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Me misbehave? lol Just cause I get a lil nervous when someone says.... oh Luuuucyyyy doesn't mean a thing! So it doesn't make you nervous when Ricky says: Luuuucyyyy! You got some 'splainin to do! Fred and Ethel found whips and cuffs in the closet.? [8D]

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 2:32:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leiren I'm sincerely trying to understand why the financial tribute seems to be so important to them. What I give in service is at least, if not more important than financial tributes. I'm still trying to wrap my head around why some female dominants seem to equate financial matters with submission. Gosh, there's an exchange of power between the dominant and the submissive, correct? Your master wants control over your body, right? You obey and give him control. Taking control over your sex is a form of domination, right? Well, yeah. It's part of submission. Taking control over someone's money is a form of domination. The giving away of money (or your body in your case) is a form of submission in an exchange of power dynamic. A slave paying tribute to his Owner is consistent with the concept of one person's ownership, possession and control of a another. What is hard to understand?

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 2:41:53 PM)
Noreen, I've gone to great lengths on this thread to state why and how the OP squicked me. I'll keep it brief for you since (unlike me), you apparently haven't been reading the entire thread over the course of several days. The OP came across as doing a 'neener, neener, neener'...my manthing is better than what any of the rest of you Mistresses have. She even went so far as to call any male who didn't have the financial means to buy her a set of floggers, a brand new vehicle, expensive perfume, etc. a bunch of limpdicks who are unworthy of any woman's attention. That's it it brief for me. If you'd like more detail regarding my reactions, perhaps you'd consider reading the entire thread? Just a suggestion from some humble little 'womanthing' who serves a male dominant.

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:16:53 PM)
I read it, thanks. Do you have an answer? You (subs) give up all sorts of rights when you submit to a dom or domme. What's so odd about giving up financial control to the dom/me?

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:23:55 PM)
There is nothing odd abou giving up financia control if yiu choose to do so because that is the relationship dynamc you desire. If you have not given consent for such a relationship then any demands for financial tribute takes away the power to choose to give a gift, instead you are acceding to a demand that robs you of dignity.

undergroundsea -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:25:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoreenSwan I read it, thanks. Do you have an answer? You (subs) give up all sorts of rights when you submit to a dom or domme. What's so odd about giving up financial control to the dom/me? I am fine when two people who wish to engage in financial domination do so. Different submissives have different areas of BDSM in which they engage and which they avoid, which is fair and reasonable. The matter of tribute is not something that occurs in established relationships--it is often demanded before there is any relationship in place. Cheers, Sea

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:31:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoreenSwan I read it, thanks. Do you have an answer? You (subs) give up all sorts of rights when you submit to a dom or domme. What's so odd about giving up financial control to the dom/me? Again, I've stated many times in the course of this thread that some female dominants express the worth of their subs based on financial tributes. Most of the female dominants who've posted share no such opinion. It seems to be only one or two female dominants who equate extraordinarily expensive financial tributes as a show of male submissiveness. And again, I'll be brief since you claim to have read the entire thread, yet my previous posts on the matter didn't seem to register with you. I've relocated twice in my ten years of experience in this lifestyle. Both times to be with a man whom I thought would be by ideal dominant. In both cases we enjoyed several years together and are still on good terms even though I've found a new dominant. At no time did either of them DEMAND or insinuate that I make a financial tribute to them. I willingly got a job to contribute to the food I ate while living with them. And, actually, neither of them would have demanded that of me. My current situation is one where my dominant doesn't wish me to work. If he asked me to contribute to my food consumption or to pay for my physical upkeep, I would gladly do it. The difference to me is that I've never met a MALE dominant who places emphasis on financial 'tributes' as a very few female dominant types seem to expect on this site. Fortunately, (imho), most female dominants that have posted to this thread don't seem to be as obsessed with financial tributes as the OP. Maybe that answers your questions, maybe not. shrugs

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:33:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SmartStrongSub And so I must caution that material giving is and always will be a measure of devotion in our relationships, familial, amorous or otherwise. Parents give to children, spouses give to each other, lovers indilge their beloved and benefactors give to their protoges. The giving is not always or even often equal as resources are not so distributed and that is especially true at your age. But the reality is we respond with affection to people who give to us when they can, whether it is of their time, their attention or of their wealth. The more they give, the more we feel their devotion and love. As for using a giving in a bdsm relationship, the reality is this is not the vanilla world, the dominant makes the rules and you will have to decide to accept and enjoy her dominion or to keep searching, hoping to find one that fits your image. Sure you may get burned once in awhile, but the risk is small and the rewards are great. Demanding a token of sincerity is a well established method employed by dominant women to weed out the equivicol, those who want only to play the sub, engage in selfabuse and then disappear. By the way, the younger and less experienced you are, the more you will be, fairly or not, considered a risk. There are other methods with which you will be confronted. Work your way through it, don't let rigidity in your thinking or fear of being taken cause you to miss something wonderful. Put yourself in her shoes and consider her needs and concerns. Most of all be open and honest about who you are and what you want. quote: ORIGINAL: Starbuck09 It cannot act as a measure of devotion on it's own strong sub as to do so suggest that how you measure one's love is by the size and nature of what they give you. A token of sicerity is,I feel, unfair as I do not demand one in return and as I have said before it takes away my choice to make a gift the only option is to accede to a demand which, personally I feel, robs me of dignity. There are plenty of female flakes as well strong sub. I believe many women on here would be much happier [indeed many have said as much on this thread] if they dated in as vanilla a way as possible to esablish solid grounds for a relationship of any kind. Awesomely put SSS.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:39:03 PM)
That is irrelevant to what I posted Noreen. My age makes not one jot of difference to my relationships and what I desire both to initiate and continue them. I have never once argued that one should not give [if you had read my posts on this matter you would know this] it is a wonderul way to show affection. howeer when that gift is demanded the choice is taken which removes the joy from the gesture. For instance I would not demand that a lover of mine perform oral sex upon me and if she did not feel like it accuse her of not loving me. Nor would her assent in the matter confirm her love. Strong sub's definition of the B.D.S.M. world id tailoured to him alone it is in fact a rich tapestry and his own ideas of an ideal kink relationship are no more or less valid than any others. In the future Noreen attempt to craft your own responses to me rather than rely on others.

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:39:35 PM)
Kewl, I totally agree and I'm fine with financial control or sex control or whatever control is agreed upon. I wonder if male doms are more into controlling the body (sex) of his subby girl and women dommes are more into controlling the money of her subby seems to be generalizations going around. I wonder if it's just the nature of the sexes where like you find more men in general are preoccupied with sex and preferring it and more women in general prefer the money so when they dom that's what they tend to take control over.

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 3:58:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SmartStrongSub Starbucks, in addition to my question to you in post 448 to which I would again request the pleasure of your reply, I have another series of questions: Why can giving not arise from the slave's feelings of love and devotion as well as from the slave's obligations? And, if giving can arise from love and devotion, why can it not be a symbol, a physical representation, and even a measure of such love and devotion? Finally, is it not true that gifts and tributes offered from sincere affection and devotion are far more valuable than those proffered to fulfill an obligation? But the reality is we respond with affection to people who give to us when they can, whether it is of their time, their attention or of their wealth. The more they give, the more we feel their devotion and love. I just love this. [sm=hearts.gif]

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:01:15 PM)
Noreen, I'm tired of the sparring. You seem hell-bent on assigning some kind of 'tribute' to any relationship whether it's a female dominant/submissive male relationship, or whether it's a male/ female dominant relationship. Just my opinion, but when anyone goes to such great lengths to establish a 'tradeoff' that's measured in tributes of any kind, it just comes across to me as crass and lacking the necessary human element of a sincere bond between consensual people who choose the lifestyle that we've chosen. I wish you well.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:05:16 PM)
Why have you posted strong sub's question's Noreen? I answered them all a couple of posts later, my reply is preserved for you to view at your leisure. If you love the questions I am presuming you will be as delirious at discovering their answers. Again if you cannot think of cogent rebuttals to my points then simply say so.Quoting one half of a debate that strong sub and I indulged in and enjoyed is frankly bizarre behaviour.

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:11:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Starbuck09 Why have you posted strong sub's question's Noreen? I answered them all a couple of posts later, my reply is preserved for you to view at your leisure. If you love the questions I am presuming you will be as delirious at discovering their answers. Again if you cannot think of cogent rebuttals to my points then simply say so.Quoting one half of a debate that strong sub and I indulged in and enjoyed is frankly bizarre behaviour. But that's her style. She seems intent on promoting her own definitions while leaving anyone who questions her out in the cold. I'm always suspicious of anyone who can't or won't engage in meaningful conversation no matter which side of the kneel they're on. No matter whether the person is a female dominant or male dominant. I have a headache! [8D]

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:19:47 PM)
It seems so Leiren like nailing jelly to a wall! Good night Noreen, remeber the answers are out there...

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:33:00 PM)
Of course I have a position and Im not leaving you out in the cold. I'm around. I think you know what my position is.. If it's okay for your dom to control your sex, what not a woman domme controlling her male subbies finances? You seem to judge a woman for controlling a man's finances and I don't get why since your dom controls your body. Just because you label my position as being "hell bent or sparring" - doesn't make it so. Neither does it take away my right to believe what I want and to express it on here like you. Don't I have a right to my opinion just like you? I'm not calling you any names just because you always write in threads about your distain for women getting money from the subbies or future subbies. I just don't see why financial domination is makes you so sick. More power to the woman if her subby gives up his money for her. No need to get bent. Like more power to a man if his subby gives up her vagina at his whim.

Leiren -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 4:41:08 PM)
Noreen, I'm over it. After this last post of mine, I will no longer respond to you and your baiting. You're being deliberately obtuse and evasive. It's your misfortune that you cannot determine the difference between a female s-type to obey orders that her dominant requests versus a few (any I mean VERY few) female dominants who expect that their male subs sign over their bank accounts to people like you. Sorry. As I said, I'm out of this convo for the evening. I feel like I need to take a two hour hot shower to wash the (ahem) dirt off. Again, I wish you well.

NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 6:40:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leiren Noreen, I'm over it. After this last post of mine, I will no longer respond to you and your baiting. You're being deliberately obtuse and evasive. It's your misfortune that you cannot determine the difference between a female s-type to obey orders that her dominant requests versus a few (any I mean VERY few) female dominants who expect that their male subs sign over their bank accounts to people like you. Sorry. As I said, I'm out of this convo for the evening. I feel like I need to take a two hour hot shower to wash the (ahem) dirt off. Again, I wish you well. Why does it bother you that females control the subs finances as part of the deal? It's all a part of the power exchange. Giving over control to the dom is the point of submission. What's the difference between giving away control over your money versus giving away control over your body? Both are forms of submission. What do you mean "people like me"? Goodness my friend, you don't know what I do and what I don't do. I'm not baiting. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean I'm just trolling to turn this into a personal thing. Thus far you've said I'm dirty, can't or won't engage in meaningful conversation, etc. I don't think I've gotten personal with you. If a dom expects pussy from his girl subby and a domme expects money from her male subby, there's no difference and both of forms of a power exchanges.

cloudboy -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 7:26:12 PM)
Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement.

VeryMercurial -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/23/2009 7:31:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Financial domination is a radical departure from a normal, healthy, well-adjusted relationship. Signing too much of one's own life away to one person --- might be a really unbalanced and unwise move to make. In sum, financial domination straddles a thin line between BDSM and exploitation. This is why many ladies are uncomfortable with it, and why many men steer clear of this requirement. This statement I disagree with. Domination is domination to me. Whether I am able to dominate your sex organs, your body, your activities or your money. They are all forms of "control". I am not a Professional Dominant, but I don't think anyone can dictate the area's of life that an able bodied adult in their right mind, allows someone else to dominate. If a man or woman wants to give all their money to someone else, that is their business. What consenting adults allow to transpire is their business, and not anyone else's. I may not participate in 80% of the "kink" that most people on here do, but it is not my place to tell other people what they can and can not do with their bodies, their time, or their money.

Page: << < prev 26 27 [28] 29 30 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.1855469