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SaharahEve -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/25/2009 7:51:28 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama
quote:
ORIGINAL: Starbuck09
Shakti I do not know if what you are saying in the latter part of your post is serious or meant to be taken somewhat tounge in cheek so I apologise if I have got the wrong end of the stick.
Being serious and tongue-in-cheek are not mutually exclusive, Starbuck. Some posts are intended to make people think, and some thoughts are more welcome than others. I have been on these forums for quite some time and have seen many, many Money Threads which vented, over and over, the same poisons. Threads bashing pro dommes. Threads bashing tribute dommes. Threads bashing women who control the finances in relationships with their slaves and submissives. Hence my opinion on the subject.
Admittedly I do not read the forums as a male dominant, so I do not know if there are an equal number of threads which bash male dominants for exerting power over their submissives as they see fit. Perhaps there are, and I've just missed them because I do not often read the Master forum or the threads posted by female submissives complaining about the expectations or needs of male dominants.
What I do see, in the Money Threads at least, is a lot of references to Male Dominance being morally superior to Female Dominance, specifically because male dominants seldom have economic needs that are met by their female submissives. Basically, a man using women to meet the needs he DOES have--which are usually sexual, emotional and domestic--is somehow sacralized as being "right" and "morally correct" and "A-OK". He is "Doing Dominance Corrrectly". But a woman using men to meet HER needs--which are usually sexual, emotional and economic--is an abominated criminal and a Bad Person. She should only use men the way men use women. She should only have emotional, sexual and domestic needs. Lack of economic resources is just a burden she should bear on her own, regardless of what power her submissive has in this department.
The fact that our society generally leaves the economic needs of women unmet or poorly met is a well-known fact. It's derived from the old pattern I've already mentioned--sexual power in the hands of women, all other powers in the hands of men. It should be no surprise to anyone when women are less able to support partners of EITHER orientation than men are, when women even in these wonderfully egalitarian times, in wonderfully egalitarian countries like the USA, Canada and Britain, are still making only 78 cents on the dollar versus the wage earnings of men.
That economic shortfall causes a great many problems for women in all social classes. And the bdsm community is not excluded from these general trends or the conflict that emerges from this imbalance of economic power. Hence the Money Threads, and the commonality of all these Money Threads: they are threads bashing women for being Greedy and Bad and Poorer Than Men.
Men are at worst the victims (if submissive) and at best lauded as morally superior (if dominant) in these threads. And regardless of how they start, the conversation always degenerates into bashing dominant women who exercise power in a way that others disapprove of, and which makes some people very angry and uncomfortable regardless of whether they are personally involved in such a relationship.
The fact that their partners in power exchange are consenting adults who willingly choose to give up power is somehow whisked off the table as an item to be considered. In the analogous thread bashing some specific sexual kink, like say the "Daddy Dom" relationship dynamic, the fact that the submissive is a willing and happy partner is usually sufficient to make people shut up and mind their own beeswax. But not in these case. Submissive men can give up their dignity, their masculinity, their agony, even their flesh and blood to a woman--but if she takes money from them, it's somehow the End of the Goddamn World. God only knows why. In my eyes it's nonsense, even madness.
The people who vent their spleen in these threads never seem to ask WHY they are so angry about something that never needs to touch their own lives. WHY they feel the need to condemn and verbally abuse the dollar dommes and their willing partners, if they don't want to participate. These same people are usually capable of taking a step back and simply being objective about just about any other kink or relationship dynamic that doesn't "work" for them. They can simply saying "no thank you" and move on if someone is offering bdsm in any other flavor that they find [:'(]. But this, they can't leave alone.
So, upshot is? Sorry to say it, Starbuck, but I do think your views on this subject are dictated by society at large. I know you might believe that your opinion is terribly original and your words may indeed come straight from the heart.. But from my point of view, you're just repeating the same old thing in the same old way. And when a thousand people all sing the same song in the exact same key, I don't call them "soloists"--I call them a choir.
"The people who vent their spleen in these threads never seem to ask WHY they are so angry about something that never needs to touch their own lives. WHY they feel the need to condemn and verbally abuse the dollar dommes and their willing partners, if they don't want to participate. These same people are usually capable of taking a step back and simply being objective about just about any other kink or relationship dynamic that doesn't "work" for them. They can simply saying "no thank you" and move on if someone is offering bdsm in any other flavor that they find [:'(]. But this, they can't leave alone."
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Great points in your entire post.
I too often wonder why some people within this subculture get so frustrated and bothered by what other consenting adults are doing. Perhaps it shakes their sense of morality, which I find odd since they themselves live in a society where their own alternative activities happen to offend the sentiment of the majority of people outside the subculture. You would think they would be a little more tolerant to live and let live.
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