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ORIGINAL: cloudboy

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"If you won't give me money you're a fake sub"

Even though women on this thread are defending this, my sense is that's not how they are in person with actual people. I've been reading this board for a few years, and pretty much no one has this attitude, but for some odd reason the ladies seem to be defending it here --- mainly as a right -- but not as an actual practice in their own relationships.

The elephant in the room is actually whether a man and woman click, and there's much more to this than money and BDSM. Those are just sub components.

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ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

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Reigna:  I'm curious about this too.  And, in as much as I'm sure this will rattle many, I simply must ask:  why would people view women who choose this path in any better light than their male, pimping counterparts?  Yep.  Just curious.

I don't think it will rattle anyone to ask the question.  If people view female dominants who financially dominate their partners as morally superior to pimps, the real truth might rattle people somewhat, however.  Dollar dommes are "superior" to pimps because their so-called "victims" are genuinely consenting adults, who usually enter into the relationship from a position of security and power and who can, for the most part, leave the relationship at any time of their own volition without suffering any serious consequences for doing so.  When the "victim" of a dollar domme decides that the kink isn't fun any more, he can just turn off the money spigot at will and walk away unharmed.

This is not true of the majority of prostitutes in a d/s dynamic with a pimp.  The idea that a pimp "procures" clients for a prostitute is a false one in most cases.  The prostitute finds her own clients, in an environment which is dangerous and hostile:  in most cases, she has a high risk of being victimized by her clients, law enforcement officials and more organized criminal types.  When she has done her day's work, the pimp may take either all or the majority of the money she has earned--if she fails to make the required sum by the end of her "shift", or tries to withhold money for herself, she is beaten or tortured until she complies with her dom's wishes, sometimes to the point of serious injury.

Most female dominants who financially dominate men are not dominating male prostitutes or even men in low-income, high-risk professions.  When they do dominate their financial "victims", the submissive is usually a fully adult consenting partner who is not really being physically coerced or blackmailed to force his ongoing participation in the relationship (although that may be his fantasy).  By contrast, many pimps will "collar" girls and boys in their early teens (often seeking teenagers who were already troubled or victimized at home, i.e. by seeking runaways newly arrived at the bus stations and train depots of large urban areas), addict them to drugs or subject them to other harms in order to weaken their resistance to domination, "turn them out" on the street as prostitutes, and then brutally harm them if they show any resistance.

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ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

Financial domination is very much a two-way street between consenting adults. It's practiced as a form of mental masochism and/or as an ultimate form of surrender (between a Female Keeper and a slave/sub) for many adult men who specifically choose this path. Very different from the above, indeed.

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ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste
Honestly, the seemingly irreconcilable gulf between "If you want money you're a fake Domme" and "If you won't give me money you're a fake sub" really makes the whole Femdom/malesub thing seem so maladaptive. It's gotta be a cosmic/higher power joke, there's just no other explanation.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Financial domination is very much a two-way street between consenting adults. It's practiced as a form of mental masochism and/or as an ultimate form of surrender (between a Female Keeper and a slave/sub) for many adult men who specifically choose this path. Very different from the above, indeed.

True.  I guess those sort of men who see financial domination as the ultimate form of surrender will need to find women who see the same thing as the ultimate form of control.  Horses for courses, and all that . . .

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ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

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ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste
Honestly, the seemingly irreconcilable gulf between "If you want money you're a fake Domme" and "If you won't give me money you're a fake sub" really makes the whole Femdom/malesub thing seem so maladaptive. It's gotta be a cosmic/higher power joke, there's just no other explanation.

The problem here lies in the psychological issues people have with money.  If we deconstruct these statements a bit, they actually make a good deal of sense.

Sub: "If you want only money from me and nothing at all that is meaningful or interpersonal or intimate, you're probably more interested in material gain than in me personally."

Domme: "If you won't share any what you have with me, but still demand selfishly that I gratify your sexual desires without being at all interested in really pleasing me or giving to me, then you're not actually interested in submitting, you're a selfish sex fetishist who wants to use me as a masturbatory prop."

And both of them are dead-on correct, because these are scenarios that both dommes and subs realistically face on these kinds of sites. 

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ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

From the domme's perspective, first contact letters from "subs" often look pretty much like this.

Dear Mistress.

Do me, do me, do this to me, do that to me, do this other thing to me, wear these clothes while you are doing it, force me to do these other things, and by the way I expect some kinky sex acts.

Here is a picture of my big hard cock for Your pleasure. I've only sent it to 6,342 women on this site so far, so it should make you feel really special that I'm sending it to you too. I won't pay you money because pros are so selfish and demanding. You have to do all this stuff to me just because You like it, and if you don't, then obviously you are not a Real Domme.

I didn't actually read your profile and I could care less about what you are looking for or who you are as a person. I just want you to wear sexy clothes and do me. I'm married and sneaking around so discretion is a must. I expect you to stay in your dungeon and never talk to me if you happen to see me on the street with my real friends and family. I can't give You my phone number or my real name either.

But I'm really, really submissive. In fact, I am your total sex slave. To prove it here is another picture of my big hard cock in bondage. If you're a Real Domme you will write back immediately. If you don’t, you’re just a slut, so fuck you.

Submissively,

Your Slave

ps - you look kind of fat in your picture.  You should lose a lot of weight so you can fit into the hot rubber and vinyl fetish clothes I want to see you in.  But most dommes are ugly and overweight and not smart enough to get a real job anyways, so you're probably no different.

pps - Why doesn't any domme want me?  It must because you're all FAKES. 

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