RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do?

RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (Full Version)

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VeryMercurial -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 9:06:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam Im a Real Estate broker here. You have GOT to talk to an attorney. preferrably the one that handled the divorce. Hanging on for a bit might be a good idea depending on what is happening in your market. Some markets are set to pick up this winter or in the spring and your half would be worht more $. Also, if he passes away, as you are still legally married, there is a possibility that you would then be a widow and own the whole kit and kaboodle. Prob is, if he runs up more debts, esp medical, than his net worth, you could be on the hook for that. so as bad as I hate em.... Talk to an attorney Excellent advice, I was wondering about the widow, debt, and life long baggage. Better to settle while he is alive. Wonderful advice-------->>>>>>> GET A GOOD ATTORNEY!

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 9:11:08 AM)
...the battered woman's shelter sometimes can refer one to a cheap of free attorney. -they did to me- when I got a PFA order against a former boyfriend. That was hard to ask for- but- they were very understanding. What a mess that was too. I am glad I did. The guy was going to come into a large sum of money. He routinely went back to his home town of Philly to buy drugs. Once he would have gotten the large sum of money- I was thinking he would buy more serious drugs. Then while high- or messed up on endless drugs- come after me. (as it was- it took a good year to recover from the concussion he gave me) Anyhow- being that your ex did abuse the daughter- you could get some free advice... ?? It is worth the phone call. I dont think I even had to pay the filing fee.

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 9:16:13 AM)
http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/women-shelters-Arizona.html

Mercnbeth -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 9:28:19 AM)
quote: what would you do? 1. talk to, and possibly retain, an attorney. 2. start packing. 3. move on with life.

Termyn8or -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 11:30:14 AM)
Yup. a house is just a house usually. I might be the exception because I have a real neighborhood here, but most people don't. Use that asset to your advantage. You probably want a new bed, why not a new bedroom ? With a half interest in a paid off house you will have a nice down payment, which will lower the monthly payments. Just don't let the house go, and then let the bubble start to inflate again, figure out where you want to live and start looking into it now. You can also make an offer on a place (or a few) pending the sale of the current house, if accepted you have locked in the price. Ruthless, but practical. Oh and BTW " Divorce is better than murder, but not by much " , that is priceless. T

sirsholly -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 12:24:14 PM)
quote: So here's the situation...the major asset is our house. I have been living here since he departed the marriage. It is paid for, and in a trust. I pay no rent or mortgage, only the taxes and incidentals. The court has ordered that it be sold and the proceeds divided...but if the divorce is dismissed that decree becomes null and void. do you want to stay where you are? If you do i would let it expire.

littlewonder -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 1:36:09 PM)
Sounds like more cons than pros. If it were me I'd file the decree, sell the house as is or find a way to get the money for the repairs and then sell it and then move on with my life.

DemonKia -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 1:47:16 PM)
FR, after read thru Rosie, it looks like you're in one of the parts of the world most strongly hit by the housing bubble implosion . .. . Sad to say, the only thing I have to offer, above & beyond all the thinking, above, is that the housing bottom probably won't be hit 'til next year, at best, possibly the year after . . . . (I like this site: http://patrick.net/housing/crash.html for contrarian thinking & news compiling about real estate stuff . . . . ) So, in terms of what your options are, selling now will probably be less-than-optimal price-wise . . . . . You may have to hold onto the property for a number of years before the price will go back up . . .. .. Did you get that value from a real-estate agent or from an appraiser? It might be well worth the effort to get a current independent appraisal (not from a realtor) of the value . ... . Housing prices are experiencing a lot of dynamism, much of it downward, & individually that happen when a house goes on the market & does or does not get offers; plunging home values are an aggregate of individual sellers cutting prices to bring in offers . . . . Keeping an eye on (even roughly) comparable sale's prices in your area would be a good idea, if you're not already . . . . .

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 1:52:29 PM)
Real Estate will keep stagnate or dropping till 2012. This according to Bob Chapman, The International Forecaster

MissJanice2 -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 4:50:17 PM)
*Different states have different equity laws. The way I see it, you could possibly lose half a house.* *For example, I owned my property before I married, and when I caught him cheating, that fact did not matter to the equity laws of SC.* *I got my house, but had to buy him out of a building that he built on my property without my permission. He wound up with my father's inheritence which sucked. I still hate him for that.* *You need to settle this once and for all so that you can get on with your life. If you have to sell the house, use your part of the settlement to fix you up a place you can afford.* *Respectfully,* *Mistress_Jan* *PS, Now Governor Mark Sanford will learn what it is to deal with his own laws in his divorce.*

DarkSteven -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 5:06:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy on the electrical-- some of that you can fix yourself. between the library and the internet- maybe you can repair some of it. (really) I fixed some of it here- I looked at the diagrams in a book- and asked my brother- and took a chance- as long as the power is off when you mess with it. Note: If the house burns down due to bad electrical work, the insurance company will deny the claim.

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 6:57:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: pahunkboy on the electrical-- some of that you can fix yourself. between the library and the internet- maybe you can repair some of it. (really) I fixed some of it here- I looked at the diagrams in a book- and asked my brother- and took a chance- as long as the power is off when you mess with it. Note: If the house burns down due to bad electrical work, the insurance company will deny the claim. they also deny payment for arson. hehehe More then likely a switch - an outlet- needs replaced. A high school kid can do that. Not every repair- requires a contractor to come in. I had 2 lines down. 1- if was a matter of pulling the junk the was littering the box- when I moved the dresser the copper wire ajarred- this ruined the whole line. The prior people also put pennies in the heat vents and any cranny- including where the wires met for that line. The other line I broke- when I tried to up grade the outlet to a modern sleek one. So now that line has a short in it. I am screwed on that one. ..but the other- cause by me simply moving the dresser- which bumped the floor boards- and snagged the wire..... I went several months running extension cords when all I had to do was tighten the connection. With the down turn there are many fires- usually tho fires occur in the winter when people are using the furnace. ....having the correct tools and parts can mean alot. I tend to think- buying a house where everything has been done is a better way to go. I wish I could do more-- around here. I really do. OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I did get my door bell working-0--- that is the best part of the house!!! I broke that too-- when I tried to reverse the front and the back- I also replaced the face plates on the knobs to look nicer. ---out of 100 houses in a town- I would say 2/3 need some repairs. Maybe more. Some worse then others. ....to right off the bat assume one cant fix a house item- is per haps premature. ...sure a service call will come for the small things- but they usually have a minumun fee close to $79.... the last one. even to get the grass cut- what they charge has gotten out of hand.

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 7:04:52 PM)
...funny thing. They routinely sell houses locally "as is". That means it is winterized and you have no idea what works and what does not. This place was such a sale-... With my own funds- I had to put all the utilities in my name to see if it all worked- then if the sale fell thru- too bad. I was out of the money. (this was a foreclosure) ...then to obtain the mortgage I had to make a bunch of repairs- and pay for those too- taking the chance that- if it all fell thru- I would loose out. The vendor of the place screwed me out of about $1000. The day before we were supposed to close they found an error in the contract- and even tho- I was correct- if I delayed the closing it was $100 a day penalty. But by that point- I had a few thousand into it... ...and I had sort of moved in beforehand. (oops) ..and I needed a place to live. These empty houses setting around- no one is going to buy a pig in a poke- and often the prior owner does soem damage to the dwelling as the are evicted. The banks dont want to make the repairs.... and often the realtor cant get a key to get in. ...on the bright side- my place did come with mineral rights. A rareity in this county. :-)

Termyn8or -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/13/2009 7:59:50 PM)
Lots of gas in PA Hunky, and you know what's under that. Here in OH a normal deed no longer transfers mineral rights. I am not sure who gets them, but the buyer does very rarely if ever. That usually only happens on larger properties. They have some screwed up regulation on minerals, one of the biggest being that there is a minimum requirement on acreage, which is the major problem to most. When people do get the chance to exploit the minerals here, they are usually an association of owners. A set of contracts sets up a limited partnership or whatever it takes. It's a mess. T

SweetPoosy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 5:43:37 AM)
Thank you everyone for responding and offering your advice. I do really appreciate each and every comment, and I will be thinking long and hard about some of it. Just FYI though, I cannot afford an attorney, this was filed in pro per. I don't have credit cards, and if I told you how much I manage to live on each month, you wouldn't believe me. I am NOT allowed to encumber the property for any reason without HIS approval. I could possibly get a loan, at a hellish rate of interest given my credit history, and yes, I could certainly nickel and dime everything so I only owe him a fraction if I decided to buy him out. It has been the most-discussed option between the Brit and myself, besides listing it for a pittance, and taking whatever $$ I can get and running. As for the pricing, there are no comps for this property...there is simply nothing else like it in the area, which is why the range of possible prices is so great. Some properties have been on the market in this town since I moved here 7 years ago, and others have changed hands multiple times. It's a total crap shoot here, and honestly, I've contacted no less than 12 appraisers, and NONE of them want to take on this job...there are too many variables. But all of that is fodder for later discussions...because here is what I've decided. As you can imagine, I was leaning heavily towards doing nothing, and starting over from scratch. However, I finally looked at this from HIS angle. Why would he file for the divorce, get the judgement, and screw up the final paperwork? Besides that fact that he is simply not the brightest crayon in the box, that is. So I looked at how NOT filing could benefit him, and that's when I realized that I almost played into his game. I no longer have a restraining order against him, and since he hasn't actively done anything to me for two years, it is unlikely that I can get it renewed. If the current court order drops, he can LEGALLY come onto the property, and I cannot make him leave, since he is also a trustor/trustee. It would not be a pretty thing, and I would end up doing prison time, likely for life. I'm a Redhead under the Preference by L'Oreal, with a temper to match when I am provoked beyond reason...and he is awfully good at provoking me. He had 13 years of experience. Also, I'm OK with the division of property as it is. If this lapses, I could get a less favorable division the next time, and/or the judge could order me out, and let HIM live here until it sells...not a good outcome to my way of thinking. What I didn't say was that I was under a deadline to file, and so at noon on Thursday, I submitted the final decree paperwork. Pretty good for Miss Procrastination 2009, I was 5 hours early! I am seriously praying that I've made the correct decision, but it feels pretty right, and if all goes well, I will be legally divorced sometime on Tuesday. Again, thank you everyone for your kind comments and suggestions, and for respecting me and the situation. I truly do appreciate it! Miss Rosie

SweetPoosy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 5:47:48 AM)
Oh, and on the mineral rights thing...here, they do not come with the property, and in fact, I've discovered no less than two locations where mine shafts come near to breaching the surface on my property. The joke here is that there are plenty of mine shafts to hide the bodies...and there really are!

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 6:04:43 AM)
I live in an apartment of a house. My ex lives upstairs and mysons bedroom is there too. I have easy acess to my son. Noone comes to my apartment without knocking and my ex is not welcome here. We are not divorced. With the income from the renter plus his, the mortgage is paid. I have been on unemploymment and now work parttime. My ex is not wealthy cant support me and we woud both struggle. The market is down, so we have no assets only debt. So if we divorce legally it puts me in a bad financial place and my son in a lessor environment. We have been seperated for going on 5 years. I have a single life, have had boyfreinds and the ex watches my son anytime I want to be away for a weekend or longer for vacation. So there is no reason to change a thing. I dont think there is any benefit to you changing either. Unless you really need spousal support for 5 years or child support if hes not paying. But it sounds like you are doing well with the way things are.

pahunkboy -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 6:57:06 AM)
filing- - ok- so you made your move. the good part- is that you can dump this phaze of your life- move on to the next chapter. Somehow I think you made the right decision.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 9:45:44 AM)
A lot of people are divorcing but still stuck living in the saame house because no one is buying and they have lost their equity due to the fact that there house is now worth less than they paid for it.

VeryMercurial -> RE: Divorce Quandry...What would you do? (8/14/2009 9:58:48 AM)
Congratulations on filing the final decree and moving forward with your divorce! It is not too soon to start celebrating your freedom! It sounds like you made the right decision. I still think you need to contact an attorney, many of them offer a free consultation fee, and it is possible to sign a contract with them in which they get their fees from your proceeds, after you sell your home. Good luck and enjoy your freedom! Keep us updated on how things turn out for you! Maybe now, you and your English beau can consider a more permanent arrangement.

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