Ialdabaoth
Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008 From: Tempe, AZ Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark Are you suggesting that other people define your fate? What's the difference in that and a religious person suggesting that god defines our fate. The difference is that "God" is by definition incomprehensible, implaccable, and utterly beyond our capacity to EVER control. "other people"/"the universe" is a comprehensible, manipulable system. So just because we have very little control over our fates now, doesn't mean there aren't things we can do about it. There's a big difference between "responsibility" and "blame"/"praise" that I think you're missing. quote:
If people want to give up, that is up to them. This is blame language. quote:
I could be poor and destitute had my great gran not fought to leave the poor house and believe she could achieve what she wanted. That's great for her, but she didn't do that on her own. Opportunities were provided and didn't fall through. Not everyone who decides to fight gets to win. quote:
If you haven't guessed I disagree but regardless - I don't believe that stops you trying. Absolutely, it doesn't stop you from trying. But, the flipside of that is "pick your battles". quote:
As he said himself, he didn't try. No, he picked his battles. This is blame language again. quote:
People bang on about personal responsibility - but in a case like this - now apparently self responsibility doesn't matter because 'we' don't get a choice? Our 'fate' is designed bu someone else? You don't get it both ways. Okay, here's the distinction between "responsibility" and "blame": As I said, we have the POSSIBILITY to affect our fate. It doesn't mean it'll work; it's all a gamble, you know? We have a responsibility (parse that word - response-ability - ability to respond) to our situation. That doesn't mean our response will always be appropriate. Once the situation is over, our ability to respond ends, and we simply deal with the results. Praising people when their actions have good results is problematic, because very little of their decisions or controllable attributes went into that result. Blaming people when their actions have bad results is problematic, because very little of their decisions or controllable attributes went into that result. Instead of blaming or praising people, we should try to help people when things go wrong. Especially when what's going wrong is people's confidence and abiilty to "stay in the fight". Shit, man, this is a harsh world. All we have is each other. We need all the support we can get. What we have, instead, is a leftover vestige of the "Puritan Work Ethic" - there's Real Men and Pathetic Losers, and you can tell who's who by who wins. And the Pathetic Losers never even tried - you can tell because they lost. And then when they try to explain themselves out of the shame of their situation, you can always latch onto one or two of their words and twist it into a "why they Deserved To Lose" story. Life's too short and too painful for that. All we have is each other. Mere survival should be praise-worthy enough, and failure to live up to all your dreams - for any reason - should be a reason for sympathy, not scorn.
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