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ORIGINAL: slavejali

, of course the nature of the human parent is to love and have an attachment and feel a responsibility to your children,

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ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

In the Vanilla world we call it divorce. In the lifestyle I'm sure there's some fancy term for it but I don't know what it is.

Basically I'd tell her to get out and don't come back. She's not holding up her end of the agreement (Vanilla OR BDSM) and you don't need that. She's also a draw on your finances and your energy. Use the financial savings to take care of the kids while you work and regain your energy and your self-esteem by living without her. You should probably keep the kids since she's a slob anyway and be sure that you file in court against her for custody. Make her defend herself or walk away. And for Gawd's sake DON'T warn her this is coming. You will need surprise on your side.

This requires a real 'hard-nosed' approach and you can't let yourself soften. You have to go after her with your guns loaded so-to-speak and a totally heartless approach. Man, I don't envy you at all, but I DO wish you the best of luck.

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ORIGINAL: DraconicAnger

Thanks for the input, while the original post may not have been thoroughly read or perceptions were miscontrued. Thanks anyways and honestly the coffee and breakfast was just an example of her duties. I take care of the children and clean the house and no we are not married. My simple question should probably have been.

How would you deal with a sub after having kids but they constantly give excuses as to why chores are not done. This entails when you the Dom do what is necessary to keep the household running? How many Dom/me would accept excuses from subs on a constant basis even after having stern talks with them. 24/7 relationships go way beyond mere scenes all the time. If you enter an agreement with someone it needs to be abided by or discharged in an amicable manner when you are unable to fulfill it.

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ORIGINAL: DraconicAnger

Thanks for the input, while the original post may not have been thoroughly read or perceptions were miscontrued. Thanks anyways and honestly the coffee and breakfast was just an example of her duties. I take care of the children and clean the house and no we are not married. My simple question should probably have been.

How would you deal with a sub after having kids but they constantly give excuses as to why chores are not done. This entails when you the Dom do what is necessary to keep the household running? How many Dom/me would accept excuses from subs on a constant basis even after having stern talks with them. 24/7 relationships go way beyond mere scenes all the time. If you enter an agreement with someone it needs to be abided by or discharged in an amicable manner when you are unable to fulfill it.

Drac

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ORIGINAL: DraconicAnger
How would you deal with a sub after having kids but they constantly give excuses as to why chores are not done.

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This entails when you the Dom do what is necessary to keep the household running?

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How many Dom/me would accept excuses from subs on a constant basis even after having stern talks with them. 24/7 relationships go way beyond mere scenes all the time. If you enter an agreement with someone it needs to be abided by or discharged in an amicable manner when you are unable to fulfill it.

Drac

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ORIGINAL: Crazytwice
I've read and re-read this thread and I'm still cringing, my face is deep red and my blood is boiling.

The irresponsibilty of unprotected sex resulting in not one, but TWO, pregnancies and then he complains that breakfast is not served in bed and coffee is not ready on the table.
In my opinion, she would be better off without this mate. One less boy to tend to.

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As far as the above post, may I ask OH, what world do you live in? Do you really think that a woman with two children can be removed from her home against her will? If a seperation ensues, the man will have to leave until the courts decide otherwise.
Additionally, I know of no courts that will grant custody of small children to a father simply
because a mother is a "slob".

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Funny how dominance or lack thereof is revealed is the most unexpected manner.

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I would agree, but I think he is better off without the lazy baby-factory. Just because she popped out a kid or two, doesn't mean that she can just sit around, pick her nose and cry about life being hard. News flash kids, thats the way life is. If you don't like it then get off your ass and change it.

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I have to tread carefully because whenever someone who hasn't actually born and raised children themselves try and speak to these situations, they tend to be completely disregarded (at best).

The first years of a childrens life- your life does not belong to you. It belongs to them. Now, even parents of infants can get their alone moments, their blissful breaks. But, for the most part, until your child can walk, talk, dress, eat, and understand the concept of waiting- your life isn't yours. Everything is about and for them.

It won't always be like that. Once they go to school, once they get their own friends, their independence will grow, which means they lose the need for dependence on you at such an intense level like they do now. This means more free time in general, more ability to not need all direct attention focused on them, and more energy for your own self.

I think you've got a major communication breakdown here, as well as a big case of blame. Fix both of those and see where things lie. Look at the long term.

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ORIGINAL: Theslavetrainer

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ORIGINAL: Crazytwice
I've read and re-read this thread and I'm still cringing, my face is deep red and my blood is boiling.

The irresponsibilty of unprotected sex resulting in not one, but TWO, pregnancies and then he complains that breakfast is not served in bed and coffee is not ready on the table.
In my opinion, she would be better off without this mate. One less boy to tend to.

I would agree, but I think he is better off without the lazy baby-factory. Just because she popped out a kid or two, doesn't mean that she can just sit around, pick her nose and cry about life being hard. News flash kids, thats the way life is. If you don't like it then get off your ass and change it.

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As far as the above post, may I ask OH, what world do you live in? Do you really think that a woman with two children can be removed from her home against her will? If a seperation ensues, the man will have to leave until the courts decide otherwise.
Additionally, I know of no courts that will grant custody of small children to a father simply
because a mother is a "slob".

Actually, here on earth, it depends on where they live. If he let the place go as much as she let the place go, all he would have to do is call CPS to come look at it. Seeing that the place would be a health hazard for the children, they would most likely side with the father and his wishes to take care of the children and kick the lazy bitch to the curb. You are right that ha would have to move out first with the boys, but if he had his ducks in a row when he did so, she would be forced to either comply to his wishes or lose custody.

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Funny how dominance or lack thereof is revealed is the most unexpected manner.

Oscars approach is in no way a lack of dominance. Dominance isn't about all the nicey-nice, feel good things that women seem to think it is. It isn't all romance. It's also about getting things that have to be done, done. It's about holding one responsible for their slacking off. It's about straightening her ass out or kicking her ass out. You want romance go see the next feel-good movie of the year. This is the real world and it isn't all bon-bon dishes and teddy-bear dreams.

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ORIGINAL: yourMissTress

KoM, I have a brand new respect for you.