RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you?

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RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/15/2009 6:54:50 PM

coyotedancer

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline

Hi, I know you feel like you are being picked on but I assure you that is not the case. I very rarely post anything although I have been on collarme for several years and have been in the lifestyle actively for more than 30 years. I am Kiwisubs master and I assure you she is the most careing and helpful person I have ever met. The truth is their is a very limited amount of learning you can do online or from books and articles. You can learn protocol and some things that have worked for others but when you translate it into real life you may well find that it doesn't work for you.

I learned everything I know (and I am considered very skilled) by hit and miss (Pun Intended). Most of what I have learned over the years I learned from the subs I have had not other Doms. Just go slow and communicate with your sub and you will learn together. Just be safe and have fun.

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 121

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/15/2009 6:58:13 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

Like LadyPact, it boggles my mind that someone has set up a ‘play date’, has arranged a time and place, and then asks strangers on a forum what they should play or how they should play. We don’t know much about the person who is asking, except he/she exhibits paucity of imagination, even less creativity and would appear to have fairly concrete thought processes. One feels that in order to respond responsibly we would have to go into minute detail; i.e. get dressed before you leave the house, stop at red lights on the way, and….oh! yeah! make sure the person you are doing ‘this stuff’ to is the person you intended to meet!
C’mon! Would you invite someone to dinner and then ask the grocery store clerks to suggest a menu when they A) don’t know how well you can cook, B) have no clue what foods your guest likes or C) whether or not your guest has dietary restrictions?
It’s that ‘cart before the horse’ thang….
Know what you are interested in doing, read a few books, pick and choose what turns you on
and
Get to know the prospective play partners interests and turn-ons
and
Then Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to her/him instead of people who don’t know either of you!

I do sometimes read those threads, but I’m too busy shaking my head in bewilderment to offer any suggestions.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 122

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/15/2009 7:08:36 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhuExBHFjhs&NR=1&feature=fvwp

While I do not expect anyone to hand me anything on a silver platter... if I ever have an honest question my common sense cannot answer I would come here. CollarMe is not the source of all BDSM knowledge and first hand experience IS the best.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to catize)

Post #: 123

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/15/2009 8:46:16 PM

hamster11

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

sure silver will do for now. fyi i would prefer white gold or platinum next time.

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 124

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/15/2009 10:56:27 PM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I can see both sides of this. We were all new at something once and asked questions that we should have been able to answer by ourselves with a little looking around and/or common sense. Be it at a new job or this or whatever. But it's the constant ones that can be a bit... trying?

There are new posters that are very sincere and it is rare that anyone is snarky with them.

*turns to look all around the room*
Oh sorry. I thought this was Collarme, but I must be in the wrong place.

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 125

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 1:02:02 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InvisibleBlack

I think a part of the problem may be the sort of misplaced ego concept a lot of new doms have about "I can't not know everything and not be good at everything" and certainly not in front of my/a sub. So there's this urge to get a "quick course" in whatever it is so that you don't look bumbling in front of your new/first/whatever sub. Hopefully, as someone becoems more experienced, this sort of insecurity would fade.

I am sort of boggled at the concept of "my first sub is coming over for the weekend, what should I do!?" ... I mean, I suppose my answer would be "Do what you want to, you're the Dom". If I'm telling you what to do with your sub over that weekend, doesn't that add a whole new dynamic to the relationship?

Nail on the head in my opinion, can I add my welcome to you

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to InvisibleBlack)

Post #: 126

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 2:33:47 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

First things first. You absolutely need spell check if you are going to be understood.

TazDevils profile clearly states he has a disability.
You may not like what he is saying, but please have a bit of understanding as to how he is saying it.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 127

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 2:52:01 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch
quote:

There are new posters that are very sincere and it is rare that anyone is snarky with them.

*turns to look all around the room*
Oh sorry. I thought this was Collarme, but I must be in the wrong place.

I think you missed the 'very sincere' part there, BSB.
IME, the responses one garners are often a direct reflection of the tone taken in the OP.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 128

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 2:53:27 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

you real lifers have been there dune that seen everything under the sun, and maybe more you know what your doing, my question is why not tell us on liners if you know and we don’t ....

I do hate real lifers who came they have dune everything truly!

What is a real lifer? Or an onliner? I'm one who started researching BDSM online, joined the board, did my best to avoid asking questions that a bit of research would answer, read tons here, met some experienced folks in RT who have taught me a whole lot that can't be learned online, am still here "online", and occasionally get some lovely bruises from real time experiences with those I trust. So, am I one of the hated real lifers?

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to TazDevil)

Post #: 129

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 3:47:55 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

So, am I one of the hated real lifers?

yeah...but you get away with it because of your boobs....

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 130

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 3:50:45 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I can see both sides of this. We were all new at something once and asked questions that we should have been able to answer by ourselves with a little looking around and/or common sense. Be it at a new job or this or whatever. But it's the constant ones that can be a bit... trying?

There are new posters that are very sincere and it is rare that anyone is snarky with them.

*turns to look all around the room*
Oh sorry. I thought this was Collarme, but I must be in the wrong place.

BSB!!!

hey...i can control my snarkiness sometimes.

what?

i can, damnit!!

i just rarely want to...

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 131

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 8:05:37 AM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

This thread is a glaring example of why I never chose to seek out the more experienced when I wanted to venture into new horizons. I could figure it out myself. Nobody needs this kind of attitude. This is the reason I quit doing the munch thing. Too many "been there, done that - got the t-shirt" types. Click the damned X already and quit bitching.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 132

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 9:59:26 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

This thread is a glaring example of why I never chose to seek out the more experienced when I wanted to venture into new horizons. I could figure it out myself. Nobody needs this kind of attitude. This is the reason I quit doing the munch thing. Too many "been there, done that - got the t-shirt" types. Click the damned X already and quit bitching.

You mean like the X you just clicked? LOL.

I think you're comparing apples and oranges here. In one instance, you're looking at someone coming to have the answers provided online, with no real effort involved In the other, someone who looked up where the munch was held, made the arrangements in their life to attend, got themselves there, so on and so on.

Perhaps I'm looking at it this way. Let's say you've got a two people who are buying their first car. In one case, you just hand them the title and in the other the person works to acquire the funds to make the purchase for themselves. Which one of them is more likely to take care of the car?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 133

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 10:02:20 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

First things first. You absolutely need spell check if you are going to be understood.

TazDevils profile clearly states he has a disability.
You may not like what he is saying, but please have a bit of understanding as to how he is saying it.

Opps, can I suggest then Taz, you make it your sig line?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 134

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 10:35:44 AM

InvisibleBlack

Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

Nail on the head in my opinion, can I add my welcome to you

Certainly, and thank you.

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 135

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 11:05:24 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jadiken
I know my first posting didnt go over so well,

I thought your first post was excellent, and showed a real desire to understand something about a situation you were facing.

I remember I said that I didn't know what you meant by "extreme," and I gave an example of something I had done that some people would consider extreme... and others, well, wouldn't. My point was that it's better to describe things as specifically as possible, instead of using adjectives. People read these posts from literally all over the world, with life histories that will be very different from yours. Words like "extreme," "weird," "perverted," "disgusting" -- as far as I'm concerned, they are useless, because you have no idea what you are communicating to the person reading your post. You know what you mean, but you don't know what they hear.

I hope you post more.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jadiken)

Post #: 136

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 8/16/2009 11:56:29 AM

KCalli

Posts: 81
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Most people have far more experience at fantasizing than they do at leading.

Leadership is an art.

_____________________________

I would have you consider your judgment and your appetite even as you would two loved guests in your house.
~On reason and Passion, Prophet Khalil Gibran

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 137

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 10/18/2009 7:07:57 PM

LanceHughes

Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline

Is the following off-topic or just a thread-jack?

lovingpet: what happened to your thread mentioned (way back) about "the fall of collarme.com" I did some searching and can't find it. I don't even know which forum it's on....... Please let me know so that I can be a reaper of spoils. LOL!

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

10 fluffy points
50 nz points

Member: VAA's posse

(in reply to KCalli)

Post #: 138

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 10/18/2009 7:22:29 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

Is the following off-topic or just a thread-jack?

lovingpet: what happened to your thread mentioned (way back) about "the fall of collarme.com" I did some searching and can't find it. I don't even know which forum it's on....... Please let me know so that I can be a reaper of spoils. LOL!

It actually wound up being quite civil and helpful, but if you want to see it, it was in the General section called The Name of a Natural Dynamic. Enjoy!

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.

(in reply to LanceHughes)

Post #: 139

RE: Can I get that on a silver platter for you? - 10/18/2009 7:39:11 PM

RUaPhdStudent

Posts: 56
Status: offline

The same problem exists in all human activities.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 140

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