RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (Full Version)

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leadership527 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 4:19:13 PM)

~fast reply~

Maybe I'm taking my idiot pills today, but I'm ucnlear on why Malkinus thought his post was not nice, not do I understand why Subann said "ouch". Are we back to thinking that a slave is better than a sub is better than a bottom?

Personally Subann, I think you should ignore everyone else and present yourself as you are. Who the hell cares what label gets attached to that? In my experience, authenticity matters more than nifty labels.



lovingpet -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 4:40:11 PM)

OP, if you want to see what kind of a mental mess labels and getting too wrapped up in them does to a person, I have a thread up that would be a bit of an eye opener. Thank goodness it is just a mental exercise within my relationship, but it is still a difficult one.

lovingpet



CaringandReal -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 4:49:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

One other thing - your profile has an attitude.

1. "I am a super BBW.  If you can deal with that, keep reading.  If not, block my profile."

I don't like taking orders from profiles.

2. " I am not desperate, a common misunderstanding about BBW's. "

I don't like profiles lecturing me.

3. "I hope you get what these few words in this small space are saying."

I don't like profiles patronizing me.



Ditto, ditto, ditto from the other side. I read so many male dom profiles that have exactly these qualities as well, and their anger, defensiveness, complaining, or whatever it is is rather off-putting. I think the people who write these sorts of things don't realize how badly they are insulting decent people, potentially good partners, and making them turn away.

To the person who started the thread: do not despair, the hour is yet early, and many dances remain. :) I've been looking for several years, although I think that only in the last year have I been ready to move into something. I know it's hard not to vent, this place is sooo #$@*(#)# Frustrating, but do take out the negativity in the general profile. Pretend like you're writing it to your dream dominant, not to the bozo the clowns who have contacted you in the past. Even if you do this, you're still going to get lots of stupid responses, but you'll also get (a few) more good ones because your readers won't feel like you are personally attacking them.

Also, try writing to specific men that interest you rather than waiting for someone to find you. Posting this thread is more passive "waiting for someone to find me." It requires little or not risk (well, ok, you risk attracting the snarky-toads but everyone new who posts here risks that!) Writing to an individual, particularly one with a profile you really like, does involve taking a risk. You make yourself emotionally open to them, if only a little, because you're in essence saying, 'Hey, I think you are cool and want to know more about you!" He can reject you. But it can also work well. A lot of men, even if they're incompatible, will be quite nice in how they respond to you. And even if you aren't right for each other, you can go to sleep knowing you may have made someone's day. A woman on this weirdly unbalanced site expressing interest pleasantly suprises the hell out of many men. :D Only a few are total asses about it, and you can usally tell who's going to be that way. Their profiles tend to exude Eau De I'm Too Sexy For Everyone.



windchymes -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:30:49 PM)

Where did the good doms go?   Come to think of it, a funny little man danced through here the other day, playing tunes on a flute.  And there was a big line of powerful-looking men wearing leather pants and carrying whips and chains skipping along behind him......[8|]



GreedyTop -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:37:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

((Sings))
Where have all the good Doms gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the good Doms gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the good Doms gone?
Gone to slave girls every one
When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?
((end song))

Okay, sorry, really am, couldnt help it, but really?? True Doms?? I see that and my brain shuts down... its a factery defect in my brain, Im sure, but it happens each and every time the words 'real' or 'true' are mentioned.

MS


LOL I saw the title of the thread, and that was the first thing that popped into my head, but to be honest, I expected it to come from Stella :)

(although I am kinda sad that I didnt get here in time to do it myself)


OP:  I cant add anything to whats been said.



beargonewild -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:43:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subann51

I'm having a hell of a time finding TRUE Dom males.  How hard can that be on CM?   The place is loaded, but no one is sincere.  Hey, I'm a woman, big yes, but still a vessel!  If your a man how can deal with an intelligent, witty, loving and caring subby, please contact me!   Sorry to have been aggressive, but we can deal with that issue later![&:]

ann



Maybe they all went into hiding because they are so bloody sick and tired of hearing whiny ass subs complaining all the time?



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:55:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

quote:

ORIGINAL: subann51

I'm having a hell of a time finding TRUE Dom males.  How hard can that be on CM?   The place is loaded, but no one is sincere.  Hey, I'm a woman, big yes, but still a vessel!  If your a man how can deal with an intelligent, witty, loving and caring subby, please contact me!   Sorry to have been aggressive, but we can deal with that issue later![&:]

ann



Maybe they all went into hiding because they are so bloody sick and tired of hearing whiny ass subs complaining all the time?



Bear, that's gotta be it!  Plus, the weal and twue ones are in such demand they hafta hide away in self-preservation, while they wait for the weal and twue subs and slaves that aren't the whiney do-me types.  lmao



MagiksSlave -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 7:58:19 PM)

((giggles)) Sorry for stealing the wind from your sails Greedy Top.

MS



GreedyTop -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:09:50 PM)

*giggles* Usually, it's STella that does the song stufff... I was (as always) slow..

have at it, MS!!



Malkinius -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:33:33 PM)

Greetings ann....

If it hurts....think hard about why it hurts.

Be well...

Malkinius



lally2 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:37:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Probably the best Masters are already busy with their sub/slaves or live in a location far far away in another galaxy.. 


bear - that is so depressing - dont say things like that (please)



dreamerdreaming -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 9:17:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
<snip>
To give you an idea, I've been looking for over a year, but I think my search is drawing to an end.  [:)]
<snip>


*bitter tears*



winterlight -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 10:00:21 PM)

Dang thats why i have no takers. I am too old and a BBW. Well, damn there is no hope for me....

Rolls her eyes....BTW i have been on here a long time probably not as long as a lot of other people but long enough to begin to wonder...

Now i know. I am too old and a BBW....



winterlight -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 10:08:19 PM)

she < wants a Dom so she adds water. My true Dom is coming on a white horse soon...

Just kidding....



subann51 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 3:57:26 AM)

I'm sorry to have been so stupid to ask the question.  Okay, my approach was wrong, but it wasn't intentional.  But I sure as hell got an answer.  Hey, forget it and don't worry about it, I"ll figure it out all myself.  And as far as being a whiny sub.  To bad.  I met a real asshole DOM from this site and he's kind of tainted how I feel toward the rest of "those kind".   There are some mind fucks that really do fuck with a person's ability to discern the good from the not so good.  I was just putting out a feeler for something constructive to draw from, but the last few comments, weren't needed.   Thanks



sirsholly -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 4:13:06 AM)

quote:

And as far as being a whiny sub. To bad. I met a real asshole DOM from this site and he's kind of tainted how I feel toward the rest of "those kind"
so rather than attract a potential Dom, you are mimicking the behavior of the first Dom and chasing everyone away?

Gee...that should work well for you.[8|]



beargonewild -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 6:19:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Probably the best Masters are already busy with their sub/slaves or live in a location far far away in another galaxy.. 


bear - that is so depressing - dont say things like that (please)



Erm....wait a sec....nevermind.....wrong bear!



KnightofMists -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 7:05:46 AM)

where have all the good doms gone?

I have been killing them off one by one ..... SOON there will only be us Asshole DOMS!!!





lronitulstahp -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 7:08:34 AM)

Diabolically hawt!!!!  [sm=evil.gif]
*waves hello to KoM*



angelikaJ -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/17/2009 7:29:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subann51

I'm sorry to have been so stupid to ask the question.  Okay, my approach was wrong, but it wasn't intentional.  But I sure as hell got an answer.  Hey, forget it and don't worry about it, I"ll figure it out all myself.  And as far as being a whiny sub.  To bad.  I met a real asshole DOM from this site and he's kind of tainted how I feel toward the rest of "those kind".   There are some mind fucks that really do fuck with a person's ability to discern the good from the not so good.  I was just putting out a feeler for something constructive to draw from, but the last few comments, weren't needed.   Thanks



And you received much constructive feedfack.
If the majority of the feedback was constructive, why let a few comments spoil the rest for you?

I am sorry you were hurt.
However, instead of blaming him (since you can't change what he did) you could choose to learn from the experience...and I don't mean becoming more embittered.
If your discernment is shaky then take a break from looking and hang out, read, and learn.
You might be able to offer insight or empathy to someone else who is hurting...which is always a good way to gain perspective.







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