RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure?

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (Full Version)

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Michael3001 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:37:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Your attitude got quite snotty, quite fast. Perhaps this is the reason you "connect" only with women who want your money as part of the deal. Look at it this way. If you have something to offer that a woman cannot buy at any price, she will want to spend time with you, even if she is the one paying. What about you makes you amazing and sexy? What makes you special, remarkable, like no one else? Whatever the answer is, I can tell you what it's not. It's not the lousy attitude in your journal entries. What you have written on your profile and journal is a textbook example of how to keep women farrrrr away from you. There's a bazillion femdoms in Kansas City and St. Louis, by the way. There are events regularly advertised on Fetlife, and probably several other places. You will get farther with women if you take personal responsibility for your lack of results, and remove the obstacles you are setting in your own path. Dead on.

Michael3001 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:38:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian quote: ORIGINAL: lilboycaught quote: Actually, the male dominants don't ask for money because they wouldn't get it.....period. Female dominant profiles asking for money exist because men will pay. Male dominants exist even though there is no money involved. See? Which begs the question, would female dominants even exist without money? Which further begs yet another question: would a great deal of so-called "male dominance" out there evaporate without sex? Things to ponder. To answer your overall question, OP, yes—dominant women do exist without money, just as they exist without whips or crops or canes. Money is a proxy, a tool and a medium through which dominance and submission can be expressed. It just so happens that for cultural and perhaps even biological reasons we tend to see financial exploitation of the female by a male as a bit of a faux pas. Good point ME. Hey OP, why don't you address this post for us? Ignore it easier?

sirsholly -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:39:58 AM)
quote: Women don't have any problem saying they're dominant. At least not any more. It's cool for a woman to be a "dominant" and has been for probably 20 years (there was a time when it would have been considered "un-ladylike"). On the other hand, to be a "submissive" male -- people still seem to kind of associate that with weakness. And they do this in spite of the fact the contemporary societal belief is that "submissive men are usually very powerful people in society." They would say those very words, yet still believe that a male being submissive to a female is weird, and probably a weakling That's one of the things femdom needs to get past, gee....any other ways they can improve themselves? [8\|]

RedMagic1 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:40:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilboycaught Thank god this discussion is finally turning half way intelligent. Yesterday it was idiotic, with all kinds of people reading the title of the post while seemingly never reading the post itself. My post on this thread yesterday is one I made after reading your OP, and I believe that your willingness to prioritize complaining over talking about the positives you possess is something that keeps women away from you -- and that, in turn, makes you more negative and cynical about the "femdom lifestyle" than is justified by objective data.

lilboycaught -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:43:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Michael3001 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven OP, you have my respect for sticking around. I don't exactly understand your concept of femdom being the next "gay". Are you saying that you had expected lots of media exposure for it? If do, why would you care that it doesn't get media play? Do you get some kind of personal benefit if femdom becomes considered more mainstream? Great question DS. Yeah ill say he does. I think it's pretty clear he has an agenda to water down female power. Must be afraid of it. I'm utterly flabbergasted that anyone could come to that interpretation of my words. I am an out-of-the-closet heterosexual male submissive. But go ahead and read whatever agenda you want into my words. It's entertaining, and somewhat amazing.

Michael3001 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:44:08 AM)
Yup, it's clear.

DarkSteven -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:45:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Michael3001 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven OP, you have my respect for sticking around. I don't exactly understand your concept of femdom being the next "gay". Are you saying that you had expected lots of media exposure for it? If do, why would you care that it doesn't get media play? Do you get some kind of personal benefit if femdom becomes considered more mainstream? Great question DS. Yeah ill say he does. I think it's pretty clear he has an agenda to water down female power. Must be afraid of it. I don't see that. His response to me clarifies that it's not media exposure that matters to him as much as societal acceptance. He does seem to have an agenda to have the femdom dynamic less driven by (or seen to be driven by) the pro Dommes, but I don't see that as watering down female power.

Michael3001 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:47:56 AM)
Cool, i sure do though. Wonder what he takes on this: "Which further begs yet another question: would a great deal of so-called "male dominance" out there evaporate without sex? Things to ponder. To answer your overall question, OP, yes—dominant women do exist without money, just as they exist without whips or crops or canes. Money is a proxy, a tool and a medium through which dominance and submission can be expressed. It just so happens that for cultural and perhaps even biological reasons we tend to see financial exploitation of the female by a male as a bit of a faux pas. "

sirsholly -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:53:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: Michael3001 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven OP, you have my respect for sticking around. I don't exactly understand your concept of femdom being the next "gay". Are you saying that you had expected lots of media exposure for it? If do, why would you care that it doesn't get media play? Do you get some kind of personal benefit if femdom becomes considered more mainstream? Great question DS. Yeah ill say he does. I think it's pretty clear he has an agenda to water down female power. Must be afraid of it. I don't see that. His response to me clarifies that it's not media exposure that matters to him as much as societal acceptance. He does seem to have an agenda to have the femdom dynamic less driven by (or seen to be driven by) the pro Dommes, but I don't see that as watering down female power. Oh, you're certainly right there. But don't you see? Male dominants exist even though there is no money involved. Sorry Steven...his statement below argues with your statement quote: See? Which begs the question, would female dominants even exist without money?

lilboycaught -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 7:54:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: Michael3001 quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven OP, you have my respect for sticking around. I don't exactly understand your concept of femdom being the next "gay". Are you saying that you had expected lots of media exposure for it? If do, why would you care that it doesn't get media play? Do you get some kind of personal benefit if femdom becomes considered more mainstream? Great question DS. Yeah ill say he does. I think it's pretty clear he has an agenda to water down female power. Must be afraid of it. I don't see that. His response to me clarifies that it's not media exposure that matters to him as much as societal acceptance. He does seem to have an agenda to have the femdom dynamic less driven by (or seen to be driven by) the pro Dommes, but I don't see that as watering down female power. Thanks. I feel better now. At least a few people understand me. I can accept that they disagree with me. Maybe I'm just plain wrong. But when people don't understand what I'm saying and comment on it, it's frustrating. I can accept that the blame might be mine for not expressing myself clearly enough, but it's still frustrating.

LadyPact -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:00:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lameduck13 Okay I don't agree or disagree with anything written here as I did a search for local female dommes in my area 100 miles between the ages of 18-29 (thats my age range) I found 84 profiles, 3 havent been active in over 2 years 31 of them were asking for tribute, 26 of them were no longer accepting Subs and the last 16 have yet to answer my message, more than likely due to the fact that I did not include a picture of myself naked in the message (my guess is these profiles are perv in the closet gay men seeking naked photos to beat it to). that leaves me 8 profile of local people to talk to. I have been talking to these female dommes and it seams to me that they are attention seeking females who have zero experiance in D/s now If i broaden my horizons I could possible find older women who have experiance but I think its sort of odd for a 20 year old to be dominated by a 59 year old. Now don't get me wrong I'm not looking for a LTR of a CPR (long term relationship/Casual Play relationship) I'm completely and sole interested in meeting like minded people in my area to share experiances with and get into the local BDSM scene out here. Yeah yeah go to a munch I know, I went to one near Dayton and it was older folks who were just as shocked to see me as i was to see them. Any suggestions? Feel free to Mesage me I more than likely won't check this thread again before it dies. A couple of things that you have to realize about this. According to your own research here, that means that 31% of the femdoms within 100 mile radius of you are probably no longer accepting subs because they found one. That means that, not just that 26 Dominants found what they were looking for, but so did 26 subs. Also, in digging up this information, you hit the prime age of candidates where there are a number of scammers and people who are specifically looking to make a buck by playing the young, hot, female card. I'm not saying all female Dominants in that age range are looking to exploit people, but there does seem to be a good number in that age group. Speaking of the age group, you searched 18-29. At your age (20) going with a nine year difference (29) that could be hindering your progress. Someone who is 29 may not be willing to get involved with someone almost ten years her junior who isn't able to attend all of the functions that she wants to attend. Plus, those kinds of age differences are keenly felt in regards to finishing college and having a career well under way. While your data is probably good, you have to tak a look at all of the numbers.

Arillis -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:05:10 AM)
Note the hostility then caving in followed by arrogance unfounded assertion and hostility, its classic. You have valid points, a values system that should not be compromised and appears to be rooted in genuinely different beliefs. I do not endorse everything said on this board and support your difference and your right to view things differently.

LadyPact -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:19:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arillis Note the hostility then caving in followed by arrogance unfounded assertion and hostility, its classic. You have valid points, a values system that should not be compromised and appears to be rooted in genuinely different beliefs. I do not endorse everything said on this board and support your difference and your right to view things differently. Seriously, dude. How do you walk straight with a chip that big on your shoulder?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:31:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Arillis Note the hostility then caving in followed by arrogance unfounded assertion and hostility, its classic. You have valid points, a values system that should not be compromised and appears to be rooted in genuinely different beliefs. I do not endorse everything said on this board and support your difference and your right to view things differently. Seriously, dude. How do you walk straight with a chip that big on your shoulder? I'm thinking he has a matching one on the other side. [8\|]

crouchingtigress -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:36:59 AM)
I hear that you are frustrated. But I want you to look inside not outside for answers. When you expect the world to be a certain way it becomes that way. When you expect women to be a certain way you will only find the women that fit that mold. It is not my philosophy, it is the law of attraction, like attracts like. Case in point, I live on a tiny island, and I used to always say for 3 years, "there is no leather on Maui" ad nauseum No BDSM no family poor me...... Then one day I pulled over my whammmbulance and got out. I started saying the opposite, and I have to tell you 2 years later, I have more good solid service people then I can handle, I have a rich and diverse (although small) leather family that I adore, and I have been in the most wonderful lifestyle relationship, with lee then I would have ever imagined for the last 2 years.... And because lee does not live here it means I come to lots of BDSM events several times a year.... All because I shifted my beliefs... Try it....what do you have to loose?

lilboycaught -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:41:23 AM)
Look, folks, let's quit arguing about a question that was never a question. Let me state it clearly so there isn't further pointless debate: There is no question that the female-led relationship is legit. I am a submissive male. I know this. It may not appeal to the majority of men but for the ones it does appeal to it is probably the healthiest, most intelligent relationship they can pursue. I would say the same for dominant women. Okay. Not too hard, eh? Now, knowing this, and knowing that it would be good for the human race to simply accept it, and being a nation of educated people, why hasn't it happened? Gay people are portrayed as normal these days, but a man who lets a woman boss him around is considered a comic figure. And a loser. Is it something inherently wrong and dysfunctional about femdom that perhaps I don't see, or is femdom simply a work in progress and I just need to learn to be more patient?

subtee -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:47:17 AM)
~FR This is likely a naive post ~ I know almost nothing about the pro Domme thing ~ however, what if there was a separate designation for pros as opposed to those seeking a relationship? Different color, different section, some way for those who want to charge can find and be found by those who want to pay. Others who would like only to find relationships could skip. I know it wouldn't be an entirely honest or limiting designation, just as I get emails from subs, from couples who clearly don't want a relationship, but someone to kink on, etc., there still is sorting to do... What about that? What about an obvious delineation so that those who only want a relationship can clearly cull through to others who have the same goal?

LaTigresse -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:48:05 AM)
Actually, in pockets around my part of the world, a female led relationship is far FAR more acceptable than being gay.

slavekal -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:49:49 AM)
I know for a fact that there are lifestyle dommes in this world. I have been in relationships with several, I am with one now (for over six years), and I have some lifestyle domme friends. They are not that hard to connect with if you genuinely try. Ms. Mlicious gets dozens of messages from guys every week. Maybe ten percent actually follow up with a call. Maybe ten percent of that ten percent ever show up for the initial meeting. And most of that small group soon falls away for some reason or another. The problem is not so much that there are no dommes as it is there are not enough genuine sub males. Example: I have a buddy in this life who loves nothing more than black dominant women. He has admitted that Ms. Mlicious is the epitome of all his fantasies. She gave him the opportunity to serve her. He showed up for a meeting or two, but he has not called her in over three months. Eventually, he will surface again with some half baked excuse. It just makes no sense.

LaTigresse -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/18/2009 8:54:34 AM)
One of these days Kal, I am going to have to see the famous Ms Mlicious. She sounds like an awesome woman. And yes, the disappearing act is common with both genders I have found.

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