RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Master or Lord...etc...

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RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:12:45 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Back to the question.

My D would be offended if I called anyone else a term that I called Him.
He earned the respect in my eyes to be called that and I earned the right to use it.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 21

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:21:18 AM

daintydimples

Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Back to the question.

My D would be offended if I called anyone else a term that I called Him.
He earned the respect in my eyes to be called that and I earned the right to use it.

Oh I do like that statement.

_____________________________

Some soften by the forced reflection that comes from loss; others harden. Which are you?

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 22

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:24:26 AM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

i like that statement very much myself.

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 23

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:28:36 AM

VvShadowspawnvV

Posts: 218
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline

This topic always seems kinda funny to me. I understand not wanting to call some stranger "Master", but the guy at McDonalds the other day called me "sir"... it really wasn't that big a deal.

Like you have mentioned, it used to be simple manners, but it BDSM circles it has become an exalted title. What if someone who has been knighted, like Sir Elton John, who actually has the right to expect use of the term (at least in England), wanted you to call him Sir? Someone who holds higher military rank? It can get a little silly, I think, since the term has been borrowed from the Vanilla world and the definition changed to suit our purposes. If someone wants you to call them sir, and it really bugs you could always use "sir and Sir" as a distinction, or borrow from the Goreans and use "sir and My Sir" since so many subs use that already anyway, and then you can differentiate and appear polite at the same time. *wink*

Of course if you belong to someone who forbids it, that is an entirely different can of worms. I don't require it from strangers, or have my girl do it with strangers, but I also don't really see it as such a big deal. If someone contacts me and calls me "sir", I don't look down on them for it, I just figure they are more polite than most people these days. Unless they are Gorean, though, the whole "Master" thing is a little different IMO...

Just throwing my 2c out there since pennies aren't worth anything anyway... not like I really expect to change the world. (Before someone accuses me of trying).

_____________________________

"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages
because they know they can be impolite without
having their skulls split, as a general thing."
-Robert E. Howard

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 24

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:36:32 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Yes and I think a person has to look at what context the term "sir" is being used in. Often too many misinterpret the usage and automatically assume that when you call someone "Sir" it meant in a BDSM context when actually it's a form of politeness and respect; especially when many of us were taught to call someone older than us, "Sir" or Ma'am."
It is a sad state of affairs when we feel the need to over clarify what we say.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to VvShadowspawnvV)

Post #: 25

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:39:40 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

(Wondering if I'm the dim Domme Steven was referring to. LOL.)

To answer your question though, I'm going to say it depends on who you're serving, where you are, and who you're dealing with. Of course, who you're serving gets to make that decision. If the rule that you're supposed to follow is that all M types get addressed as Sir, Ma'am, or whatever is the preference, I'd be the last person to tell you to disobey.

That part about where you are refers to the kind of setting that you're in. If you're ever interested in high protocol events, some of them will be organized that all M types are spoken to with title. If you're at a leather function or a MAST meeting, it's going to be pretty common. I prefer that people don't call Me by My name if I'm at an event or a play space. The reason for that is that I've found folks have wanted to ask Me questions about a certain kind of play or they thought of something a few days after a demo I've given and they want to contact Me after they've gotten home. It's easier for them to reach Me if they just remember Me being called Lady Pact.

The who you're dealing with part is just your own comfort level. There are some people who don't call Me by name because it doesn't feel "right" to them. There are people who have called Me Ma'am or some other honorific for years and I have to admit, that gets My soft spot.

For people who don't like the title thing, I'll happily take LP for short. The only preference that I have in the matter is that people don't call Me Pact. Since I'm married to another top who took his name to reflect Mine, that can get confusing.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to daintydimples)

Post #: 26

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:41:26 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Tammy.....i'm not trying to be a bitch here or anything....but i refuse to answer on the grounds that i do not want to further incriminate you...i get the feeling that your Master has told you he wants you to do something and you are objecting. And now you are looking for some kind of validation for you objections. Is this anywhere near accurate? If so, this is why i opted not to answer...

And if not...well then.....................just tell me......................i'm not worthy to suck his cock either

Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 27

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:48:39 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Back to the question.

My D would be offended if I called anyone else a term that I called Him.
He earned the respect in my eyes to be called that and I earned the right to use it.

I couldn't pass this up.

I actually do correct people who call Me Mistress without a qualifier. Only someone in My collar should be calling Me Mistress without My name included.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 28

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:50:22 AM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

It would totally depend on the dynamics of my relationship and the situation. There are some situations that require formality and protocol. In those cases I would follow the expected protocol. Outside of those kinds of situations calling someone Sir, Ma’am, or Mistress, Master is a sign of respect in my eyes and one they have earned or perhaps it is even required by my owner. It would not take away anything from the person who owned my in my opinion.

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 8/19/2009 5:51:27 AM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 29

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:54:35 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

Hubby and i are strictly monogamous..so calling another by a title reserved for him is out of the question. If we played with others, it might be a different story. On the flip side..once at a munch a Dom kept referring me as "Subby". He was told my name and strongly advised to use it.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 30

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 5:58:31 AM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

So in your eyes Holly calling someone by a title such as Sir,Ma'am ect means you're not monogomous?

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 31

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:03:25 AM

Rainfire

Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

So in your eyes Holly calling someone by a title such as Sir,Ma'am ect means you're not monogomous?

No, Nika, she was just explaining that in her situation, which is a monogamous one. No where did holly insinuate that calling someone Sir or Ma'am meant you weren't monogamous.Unlike some people on the forums, and I'm not thinking of anyone in particular though I'm sure we can all think of one..... Holly is strictly speaking about herself and not making a grand, wide assumption.

Please don't read more into it that what is meant..... Tammy asked a question which she would appreciate answers/opinions. Not snippy comments about her sucking another man's cock or derailments.

_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 32

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:04:59 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

On the flip side..once at a munch a Dom kept referring me as "Subby". He was told my name and strongly advised to use it.

The correct response is to refer to him as "Dummy".

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 33

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:06:11 AM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

My question was far from a delrailment and wasn't meant as anything but a curious question brought on by Holly's post. I asked b/c I wasn't sure if I read her post wrong or simply was reading to much into it so rather than assume I asked and politily in my opinion.

Edited to add: no where in MY post / question to Holly did I even mention anyone sucking cock so perhaps its you Rain who is delaing this thread with those kind of comments or reading far to much into my simple question.

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 8/19/2009 6:09:21 AM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to Rainfire)

Post #: 34

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:06:40 AM

Kalista07

Posts: 4240
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rainfire
Not snippy comments about her sucking another man's cock or derailments.

So Rain....
Does that mean my comment about me sucking her man's cock was inappropriate? DAMN... It was still a derailment.. i shall confess my inappropriateness to Him immediately upon His return from work upon my return from work...but first i must leave for work..
many apologies,
Kali

_____________________________

“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.”
~~Sweedish Proverb

(in reply to Rainfire)

Post #: 35

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:08:23 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

Geez, DS, I mean Dummy, I mean DS......I 'fused.....

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 36

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:09:04 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

My question was far from a delrailment ...

I don't think she was referring to you.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 37

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:10:46 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Geez, DS, I mean Dummy, I mean DS......I 'fused.....

If you've fused, that means you should begin using lubricant.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to VirginPotty)

Post #: 38

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:12:26 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

Tammy,
I was always taught to only call MY Dom by those titles & like my Angel (Angelika) only when I earn it. But then again it depends on what you are told to do by your Dom. When we play w/other Dom's I usually just call 'em "Sir" unless told otherwise.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 39

RE: To all subs; Calling another Dominant by Sir, Maste... - 8/19/2009 6:13:54 AM

VirginPotty

Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Geez, DS, I mean Dummy, I mean DS......I 'fused.....

If you've fused, that means you should begin using lubricant.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 40

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