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What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 9:38:38 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I had an opportunity to chat with someone last night that was somewhat "counselling" me (unasked btw) about not limiting my sexuality.  I am pretty content as is.   I am monogamous, not prone to random acts of drive by sex, straight, but other-wise sensually adventurous.  There hasn't been a lot I haven't tried at least once within my relationships.  Sex keeps me calm, I am not prone to illnesses unless I haven't engaged in sex or maso play for a while, and then I do tend to get stress related hives, or other oddities come up.

Anyway, she stressed her own personal growth.  Like me, she handles her agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box.  Like me, she has also had some issues with abuse at a young age.
She is more accepting of her aggressive nature, more than ok with her sado-masochism, her bi-sexuality, but not particularly into men unless they have other attributes.  She has a high sex drive that requires more than one partner to have it be met. 

I am pretty comfy as I am, very sexual, very open to things on the spur of the moment without any thought it might be bad.  But I have no desire to explore bi-sexuality, poly amorous, or other avenues of sexuality that might be open to me.  I don't particularly see this as growth.  For me, growth was learning to speak without an accent, educating myself on my countries politics and the world, taking classes to improve my skills in art, history, religion, sociology, and dance. 

I see a lot of profiles that state they "wish to grow", or that "you will grow" or there is much to learn, ect. What is growth?  I don't plan to suddenly become bi or poly but is there another thing I might be missing here?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 9:41:39 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I think I see growth as self awareness more than anything else, learning facts and engaging in activities can help facilitate that growth but it requires more than that. I dont know if that makes sense.

I won't explore all avenues available to me because for a lot of things I know that they go against what or who I believe myself to be, but what that is can and does change and develop.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 9:48:15 AM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		I don't see any of the things you mentioned such as Bi-Sexuality, Polyamory, or Poly Fuckery as Growth either.

Being BiSexual doesn't mean you have grown as a person, being Bi-Sexual and beaing ashamed of it and then learning to become OKAY with being Bi-Sexual is Growth but going from Hetrosexual to Bi-Sexual is not growth unless you are talking the amount of people in your bed.

I think she was hitting on you hun. I don't think you were being counceled as much as you were being looked over for possible grooming in a stable.

I see Growth the same way you do, accepting change and moving with it instead of standing against it.

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 10:00:53 AM   
lockemann


Posts: 23
Joined: 7/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah


I see Growth the same way you do, accepting change and moving with it instead of standing against it.

Steel


Growth is a personal thing that happens in your awareness and your perception of your world.  It can be as small as accepting change(good call Steel) or as profound as adopting a new religion/lifestyle.  When someone says that the are looking to grow, I usually take that to mean that they are looking to be introduced to new ways of thinking and alternatives to their current thought patterns.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)
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RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 10:23:40 AM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR, after read thru

lol

Not all horny-net-geeks are male nor anonymous random strangers . . . . . I'd agree that someone trying to talk you into exploring poly / bisexuality / whatever, after you've explained your history & preferences & thinking, is probably discussing their own stuff more than yours . . . . . .



As for growth, that topic's a little beyond me at the moment, perhaps later I'll think of something intelligent to say . . . ..

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to lockemann)
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RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:06:31 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I think I see growth as self awareness more than anything else, learning facts and engaging in activities.


i agree with what was said above.

the study of communication teaches us that there are 4 boxes to ones personal self, how you see yourself, how others see you and you see yourself, how only others see you, and things that no one knows not even you.

with in a relationship that requires so much work from both parties you get a different perspective of yourself, and usually because there is so much trust and less communication restriction a person can just tell you how they see you and you can start to look at that and analize yourself. its almost like the three boxes can come together and you can start analizing these little details. these can change you or have you except the things you cannot change.

growth is to see who you really are even if it was something you didnt realize, good or bad its there.

and yeah she was probably hitting on you like SteelofUtah said but it was a fun topic anyway =)

_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
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RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:35:58 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Transcend and Include my friend. That is what growth is to me.

Accepting what you currently are, what you have been... and what you could be.

Even to the point where "Oh, I will never do that in my life."
It is a possibility that has the potential to be explored.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:41:00 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		For me, growth is constant learning and always striving to be the best ME I can be.

Being me, does not mean trying to be something I am not.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:45:57 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well, this thing on the side of my penis that I have gotten as of late, I guess I would consider it a growth.....why do you ask?

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:53:01 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Serious is something that you are not.

:D


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:55:57 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You're politer than I would have been. Next time just give her a blank stare and move on.

No, I don't think you can grow into being bisexual. Hell, next time you're stuck seeing her ask her why she's so limited that she hasn't grown into being a lesbian or a trans. She's an arrogant twit.

I don't feel that I am being limited by being who I am. I'm perfectly happy being het and monogamous. Happy being the operative word.

I also don't feel the need to constantly learning and doing new things either. Because if you're doing them, then you aren't doing the stuff you already know and love. I don't feel a need to learn to play golf either. I'm sure it would be growth of some sort, by teaching me that I dislike it as much as I did the first time I took lessons. But while I would be out there disliking what I was doing, I wouldn't be going for a walk in the nature preserve, or watching hawks fly, or playing miniature golf which I do like.

There's a limit to the time you have to do things with, your friend may think it makes more sense to do things she doesn't like and ignore the stuff she does. It doesn't fly with me.

And why is it nobody ever says you ought to play golf for growth instead of having sex with people you aren't attracted to just because they're attracted to you? I think she was hitting on you with her whine.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:56:51 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

Serious is something that you are not.

:D




Oh, I can be pyro, but it either is not pretty, or is wasted.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 12:57:09 PM   
sexisubi


Posts: 373
Joined: 11/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, this thing on the side of my penis that I have gotten as of late, I guess I would consider it a growth.....why do you ask?

Ron





_____________________________

bound by love,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIvvaqUdDm8

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 2:24:35 PM   
gentlemanprince


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		At 5'3" and shrinking, I will take any grow I can get.

Seriously, my Mistress demands that I be the best man I can possibly be. With her encouragement I took up martial arts, something I've always wanted to do, at age 61. (The next oldest in the class was in his mid-30s.) She has introduced me to new books, new foods, and sometimes different (but well-grounded) viewpoints on social and political issues. I have come to terms with my submissive nature, seeing not as a failing but as a strength. I consider all of those to be growth.

(in reply to sexisubi)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 2:25:46 PM   
gentlemanprince


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		Er, "growth." Where is the edit button when I need it?

(in reply to gentlemanprince)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 2:29:49 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
For me, growth is constant learning and always striving to be the best ME I can be.
Yeah, what she said.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 2:47:48 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		great question btw!

i have grown through doing something that wasnt on my list of 'wants'  even just facing something i didnt want to do or wasnt for me helped me to look inside of myself and discover something new about me.  each little step away from my comfort zone has challenged ideas, ideals, beliefs and fixed notions. 

would i grow from a bi-sexual experience, possibly i would. possibly my sexuality, sensuality, confidence in myself, the experience itself would lead to a new perspective and therefore a new growth spurt - a facet of myself i have never explored, like forcing myself to ski down a black run or jump out of an aeroplane.  these things would challenge me and in the period of experiencing them i would discover something about myself.

every experience we put ourselves through will lead to some sort of growth.  doesnt mean that i would 'grow' into bisexuality, im damn sure i wouldnt, im way too much a fan of rock hard cock frankly.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 2:58:11 PM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		As Plato quoted Socrates, "First know thyself."

Growth is about self awareness -- learning that fulfillment arises in the only place it is ever felt, one's own heart.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 3:03:15 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Anyway, she stressed her own personal growth.  Like me, she handles her agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box.  Like me, she has also had some issues with abuse at a young age.
She is more accepting of her aggressive nature, more than ok with her sado-masochism, her bi-sexuality, but not particularly into men unless they have other attributes.  She has a high sex drive that requires more than one partner to have it be met. 



"handling agorophobia by forcing herself outside the box"- does she literally have agorophobia or is this a metaphor for "trying wild risky behavior"?

If it is the latter, this doesn't sound like growth, but rather self-medicating with sex, instead of booze or drugs.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What is growth to you? - 8/21/2009 3:16:41 PM   
TopChuck


Posts: 36
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		I hate succotash.  I'm glad I hate succotash.  If I liked succotash, I'd eat succotash.  And, I can't stand succotash.

(There is no growth to be had in eating succotash.)

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 20
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