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Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 6:46:49 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Ok... The boards are getting rather bogged down. Let's go a little lighter.

What's the dumbest thing a sub ever said to you that was so bad he might as well have just shot himself in the head right then?

I had a boy once, on the very first "get to know you" lunch meeting who leaned across the table and asked, point blank, "Do you shave or should I bring a weed wacker?"

He never understood why I never spoke to him again.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Post #: 1

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 7:05:20 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

OMG!

You mean all this time THAT'S what you thought I said?

No, no, no!

I asked "Do your slaves wear tweed slacks?"

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 2

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 7:08:17 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

1. A submissive was chatting with me.Evidently her ex husband and kids were moving out at the time. After some fifteen minutes of chat, she announced that she wanted to be my slave. Live-in. And we'd never even met. She lived sixty miles away and would need to relocate.

2. I answered a newbie's profile on alt, when she was asking for information on the lifestyle. Her response was in all caps, and I told her that that was considered shouting and was considered rude. Her response, also all in caps, was that that's how she emailed at work, and that I was a control freak and she could detect a control freak a mile away. Um, yes, I did tell her that I was a Dom beforehand...

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 3

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 7:13:06 AM

DianeB269

Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Ok... The boards are getting rather bogged down. Let's go a little lighter.

What's the dumbest thing a sub ever said to you that was so bad he might as well have just shot himself in the head right then?

I had a boy once, on the very first "get to know you" lunch meeting who leaned across the table and asked, point blank, "Do you shave or should I bring a weed wacker?"

He never understood why I never spoke to him again.

LOL........

Diane

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 4

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 7:33:26 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

gotta love when a lady shaves

better eating and licking that way

hello Ms S and Ms D

hate when those hairs get caught in my teeth

mal

(in reply to DianeB269)

Post #: 5

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 9:13:16 AM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

I had a sub with whom I was chatting tell me that Dommes today were doing a horrible job of meeting the needs of subs as far as matching interests.

(in reply to malloves69)

Post #: 6

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 11:47:18 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

I soooo wish I had to dig really deep to answer this one, unfortunately I don't.

My Queen, I am your dog!!! Can we cam now?

Yeah, that's the whole conversation.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 7

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 11:48:47 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

The quickest way for someone to shoot themselves in the foot with Me is to start telling Me their desires for strap on play or any other sexual preferences in the first email. My common response to this is asking them if they would walk up to a stranger on the street and tell them about their sex life.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 8

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 11:52:24 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The quickest way for someone to shoot themselves in the foot with Me is to start telling Me their desires for strap on play or any other sexual preferences in the first email. My common response to this is asking them if they would walk up to a stranger on the street and tell them about their sex life.

This is why I never have a first email exchange with a woman. I always skip right to the second email exchange and then say all sorts of ridiculous things. Then I spend the third email exchange explaining how the first email exchange was really the second one. By then, they're usually too confused to respond and I have won! That is the purpose of the game, right?

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 11:54:24 AM

SoulPiercer

Posts: 374
Joined: 5/27/2007
Status: offline

"i live to serve my superior Black Dominates."

Problem: I already know I'm a superior Black Dominate. I don't need a submissive to point it out.

_____________________________

Do you have any idea how many bones you have left for me to break? - Batman

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:08:31 PM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

First message:

"I don't do long email or IM chats. If you're interested, message back and I'll give you my phone number."

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 11

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:11:15 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

"i live to serve my superior Black Dominates."

Problem: I already know I'm a superior Black Dominate. I don't need a submissive to point it out.

You have My complete agreement. You are absolutely a superior verb.

(Couldn't help it, Dude. You left the barn door wide open.)

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SoulPiercer)

Post #: 12

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:19:13 PM

queencaliph

Posts: 131
Joined: 6/4/2007
Status: offline

One wrote to me...
"Hi Mistress, I loved your profile. Are you the kind of domme who would take pleasure in cutting off her slaves balls? This has always been a fantasy of mine."

_____________________________

"awwww hell......the Queen!"

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 13

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:23:21 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: SoulPiercer

"i live to serve my superior Black Dominates."

Problem: I already know I'm a superior Black Dominate. I don't need a submissive to point it out.

You have My complete agreement. You are absolutely a superior verb.

(Couldn't help it, Dude. You left the barn door wide open.)

I got the impression he said that "tongue in cheek." He's got quite a sense of humor in his posts

luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:23:43 PM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

Come to think of it....I believe that sub messaged me, too.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to queencaliph)

Post #: 15

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:24:55 PM

GoddessImaginos

Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: queencaliph

One wrote to me...
"Hi Mistress, I loved your profile. Are you the kind of domme who would take pleasure in cutting off her slaves balls? This has always been a fantasy of mine."

SWEET! I got that one too!

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to queencaliph)

Post #: 16

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 12:55:22 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Feeling left out here. I didn't get that one at either of my profiles.

Now there was this guy I met for lunch who was asking me constantly when he could put the vibrator in his ass. I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was already supposed to have been in there.

Then there was the one was such a perfect gentleman. He took my coat for me got me seated comfortably and then handed me the remote to his shock collar which he was wearing on his cock! I hit the button once hoping that he was joking. He jumped a mile in the air. I toyed with it the rest of the time, but never hit the button again. He had no idea why. Oddly enough, there was no second get together.

Amazing!

lovingpet

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)

Post #: 17

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 1:50:38 PM

kttqnp

Posts: 118
Joined: 1/21/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos

quote:

ORIGINAL: queencaliph

One wrote to me...
"Hi Mistress, I loved your profile. Are you the kind of domme who would take pleasure in cutting off her slaves balls? This has always been a fantasy of mine."

SWEET! I got that one too!

Was there a blender involved?

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)

Post #: 18

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 1:53:11 PM

MysticFireTopaz

Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett

Ok... The boards are getting rather bogged down. Let's go a little lighter.

What's the dumbest thing a sub ever said to you that was so bad he might as well have just shot himself in the head right then?

I had a boy once, on the very first "get to know you" lunch meeting who leaned across the table and asked, point blank, "Do you shave or should I bring a weed wacker?"

He never understood why I never spoke to him again.

Interesting. I got the following message wanting just the opposite a couple of days ago:

hi
interested in serving if you are very full bush?
is that you?

He went straight to blocked user land with no reply.

Lady Topaz

(in reply to MsStarlett)

Post #: 19

RE: Just Shoot me now - 8/23/2009 1:56:44 PM

GoddessImaginos

Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Then there was the one was such a perfect gentleman. He took my coat for me got me seated comfortably and then handed me the remote to his shock collar which he was wearing on his cock! I hit the button once hoping that he was joking. He jumped a mile in the air. I toyed with it the rest of the time, but never hit the button again. He had no idea why. Oddly enough, there was no second get together.

Amazing!

lovingpet

I think so too. I need to find out where to get me one of those..

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 20

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