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Looking for a word or term - 8/24/2009 8:02:18 AM

bmtphoenix

Posts: 15
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline

First off, if anyone gets upset about this post or any of the replies, my apologies in advance as that's not at all the intent.

I'm looking for a word or a term. As far as I can tell, the word doesn't exist in either English or any other language, though I'm far from an expert on languages, so any guidance here would be helpful. If anyone wants to play with languages and come up with a new word, that's great too. I'm really at a loss here. I'm hoping for lots of varied responses and discussions as opposed to arguments. Here's a very rough definition of this word that does not, to my knowledge, exist. I'm thinking this could actually go somewhere...starting from scratch with a word that has no preconceptions, we could really accomplish something.

noun - Someone who is willingly submissive to another person, and only that person. Like a wife or husband (not necessarily legally married, but with the same degree of devotion) in that "He's mine and I'm hers, anything else is cheating, immoral, and unacceptable," but with one being submissive and the other being dominant.

This person:

Generally defers to their other in any final decisions and/or arguments.
Willingly does what they are told to do by their other.
Is generally respected as an intellectual equal.
Can willingly leave their other.
Is NOT broken, brainwashed, or in any way forced into this role.

This person may or may not:

Have a dominating personality around people other than their "other half".
Have a job where he/she does not answer to their other.
Retain any of these traits in sexual situations.
Regularly verbalize their own opinion and viewpoint.
Have their "own thing" going on such as a hobby or business that has nothing to do with their other.
Own property of their own.
Be seen as property by either party, though it should be stated if that is the case or not.
Be subject to other stated rules.
Be subject to any type of domination in public.
Be marked in any way, such as a tattoo or collar.
Be subject to any type of punishment for any perceived or stated misbehavior.
Be married.
Be male or female (though if someone wants to come up with a male and female version, that's fine by me).

Sort of like a stereotypical 50's housewife, but with far more social "rights".

Why "slave" doesn't work: Most definitions include the term "work" and conjure images of punishment as a matter of course. Punishment may or may not be part of the relationship, and may or may not be as clear cut as one would expect of a stated slave/master relationship. Slaves also may or may not be subject to being sold or traded. This person is submissive only to one other person, no other.

Why "sub" or "submissive" doesn't work: Isn't really seen outside of the BDSM community as a noun, but as an adjective. Doesn't specify devotion to one person exclusively. May or may not be situational.

Why "kajira" doesn't work: Far too specific in all areas of life, including property ownership, etc.

Did I miss any?

Now don't think I'm dogging yours or anyone's relationship and what you call each other. Not only is it none of my business, but whatever works for you and makes you happy is great for you. However, I don't think I'm the only one looking for something here.