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Prinsexx -> RE: Flaws (8/25/2009 2:23:49 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DemonKia
At risk of saying something unpopular, I think of 'perfectionism' as a disease, a disorder of thinking. Perfection seems to me to be an unattainable state of being, & its pursuit misdirection from more doable goals whose achievement may be both easier to get to & be along a somewhat different path than 'perfection' . . . ..
I really have to agree. Perfectionism...yes it is catching. I think it was encouraged at school, indeed indoctrinated. My teens have gone through a similar process. League tables, Grades, value added erformances...where does that system stop? Even in the vreative Arts there is a superimposed stsndard.
I prefer to go after 'excellence', defined as doing one's best under the circumstances, & with a pragmatic recognition of the flaws that implicitly coexist with whatever perfection that might be .. . .. . Um, with a smidge of wabi-sabi thinking thrown in, the Japanese aesthetic notion that the 'proper' flaw sets off the beauty of the well-crafted object . . .. . .
Thank you for this. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder..I wonder what it is that most dominant males I have known up to this point what is it that they are beholding? Porn on the internet?
& it's weird how perspective really impacts on this one. Let's think about 'way too fucking honest' as a 'flaw' . . . . . That's one that can both be an uncomfortable character trait & something I'd find appealing, within the meaning of your fourth question . . . . & I want to add in something about how we live in a culture (the US) that has placed enormous reliance upon the promulgation of 'perfected images' of 'plastic, perfect, pretty people & lives', firstly for the propagandistic purposes of advertising & then trickling out everywhere from that base desire played upon . .
Yes the Hollywood stereotype. The Barbe Doll Disorder?. .
& regardless of D/s orientation, changing flaws would be just another sub-variant of trying to change the other. & changing the other seems like an unrealistic expectation to have, rather the point is to find those with mutually accomodating sets of likes, dislikes, strengths, flaws, etc, etc . . . . .
OK so let's assume that we culd take away a D type's 'changing' agenda. Isn't controlling a form of changing the other?
I have known people who seemed to have perfectionistic ideals that they 'pursue' (ever so quixotically) & that they hold up in their heads to compare the 'real world' against, generally unfavorably. & they are typically miserable as reflected against those holding more rational observational spaces . . . . . . .
Plus, perfectionism gets in the way of getting stuff done. Since the perfect can't really be attained, especially in a sustained kinda way, then stuff can never really get done. It can be a cycler with procrastination, perfectionism can, the gung-ho alternating with freezing up / abandoning / dejection / despair / crisis / & so on & so forth . .. . .
Yes perfectionism sets an unobtainable standard so why try? why even attempt? Rhetorical questions by the way. .
One giant caveat to all of the above. There's a way in which one can look at everything extant as perfection already achieved, of everything that happens is perfect as is, necessary for this or that moment's perception of perfection. I think that's more the sense that's contained in the following quote:
When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
- Buddha -
Yes: I'm flawed. But proud.
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