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UKEvolutionary -> RE: "New" Dominant ...... "Common" Mistakes !! (8/28/2009 5:58:17 AM)
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My thanks to "Acer49", I've been trying to think of how to say what you said very eloquently, but the words wouldn't come for Me. ( Acer quote in red )
quote:
Disagree Completely, Again many NEW Dominants don't ask enough questions they again see Dominance as an IMAGE and not as a responsibility and a way of life, because of this they make assumptions and tell themselves that this is what it is supposed to me I have to do this to be Dominant and don't take a look at the journey that many others have already started and are well on thier way. It is when they only want to listen to what they THINK this is all about and not learn about the OTHER ways this can and is done all the time that they come across as Chest Thumping Douche Bags.
While I will agree with most of what you have said young man, I afraid I must comment on this. You may have miss-read what the OP was actually saying. He did not say that he was opposed to listening to others, He is saying just because you tell him something, he should use it? Just because something works for you, does not mean it will work the OP. While I agree that any relationship requires responsibility, not all consider this a way of life. It is simply a role playing exercise which leads to a sexual encounter for some. New Doms have to decide if the Dom that they are speaking to is indeed knowledgeable or just some pompous ass spouting personal opinion as gospel truth
I think the trend to dominate by committee is a very poor idea. The perception that the OP’s ideas aren’t valid simply because they don’t conform to what your ideas are or because he is new, is pure arrogance. It seems that many Doms and subs come here, lacking in confidence and self worth and feel they must do as others do or risk being thought unworthy. I believe, as the OP has stated, he is his own man and will ultimately make decisions that are in his best interest after listening to some knowledgeable Dominants
I think that "SteelofUtah" has taken My post "literally" without "seeing" the meaning behind it. It certainly ISN'T the "Be all and end all", It was NEVER meant as that, I'm not as arrogant as to believe that My posts are infallable or beyond contestation, it's just One Man's observations. As you may see, others have added to the list, and I must say, some VERY good points, thank you.
As for point 2 which you highlighted and Acer49 answered, I will again confirm. I LISTEN to other Dominants but don't try to "Be them", If what they tell Me suits My persona, then that's great and I will learn from them, but if what they say doesn't suit "Who I am", then I'll reject that information ! in other words ......... Listening too much to other Doms instead of your inner self
However, seeing the "confusion" it's caused, maybe I'd better be more "simplistic" about #2 and re-write it ? although Acer got the meaning !!
And just to "clear up", I DON'T see this as "Just a Kink" and I take My girls welfare VERY seriously.
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