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RE: Asking vs Manipulating - 8/31/2009 12:08:48 PM

ranja

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Manipulate: to control or influence somebody or something in an ingenious or devious way...
... and ingenious means clever

i manipulate paper mache and paint and clay... and by asking for anything and by simply being who i am i do inevitably manipulate others... and so i am also manipulated by others

to manipulate is only bad if one is mean and selfish, other than that is is perfectly acceptable in my book

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RE: Asking vs Manipulating - 8/31/2009 12:39:07 PM

daintydimples

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Both terms, needy and manipulative, tend to have negative connotations. But as ranja so beautifully pointed out, manipulation is not, in and of itself, negative. Neither is being needy. Needy has such a negative connotation that some believe to be needy IS to be manipulative and passive/aggressive. I disagree.

All humans have emotional needs. What you do to satisfy those needs certainly varies with the individual. I would say, as a general rule, submissives need to be found pleasing, need to obedient, need to be desired (at least by their dominant). Now I can be flippant and say, "My male sub is needy for ME because as a dominant, I created that desire in him." But where does that stop? If that statement is true, than it is equally true that dominants need to create that need.

It's a symbiotic relationship to me. To get into my philosophy that part of a dominants' role is to create need in the submissive is going a bit off topic.

For Acer49: I would say 90% of my experiences have been with sub males. And although I see some marked differences between male and female subs, I'm not sure that's germane to this discussion.

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RE: Asking vs Manipulating - 9/1/2009 4:34:08 AM

eyesopened

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Joined: 6/12/2006
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The other day I told my Master that I was tired and didn't really feel like cooking (cooking means turning on either stove and/or oven). I suggested a few meals that would not require cooking. Master thought a moment and said, "What I'd really like is [one of His favorite meals]." and that meal did require cooking. My response was to say "Of course Master!" and I prepared what He wanted.

I gave Him information. The information was not an attempt at manipulation, just information. He gave me information. He did not specifically choose a meal that required cooking as a means of asserting His authority, to punish me or to fuck with me, it was simply what He wanted to eat. We don't manipulate each other, we communicate.

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