RE: Where did I go Wrong?

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lovingdomwanted -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/5/2009 1:23:31 PM)
Thank you Antipode Profile was hidden as I re-started my profile after closing it at his request....I didn't want him messaging me when I was at my lowest. But I didn't have to worry, he guessed my password and was spying my messages anyhow. Yes prehaps youre right.... meet a nilla, stay nilla.....He wanted this....As for the expense.....He earns way more than me and although Im a sub, doesn't mean that expenses shouldn't be shared....Maybe not in your World, but in mine they are and he did originally offer. I always try to understand the facts before slatting someone on the forum, but have to say im too polite to slate anyone.......After all, this is a forum to share experiences and thoughts..... But again, thanks for your thought x

blackpearl81 -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/5/2009 3:40:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted I met a Vanilla from another site with a military backgroung (UK)...If that makes a difference....Conversed over several months and during which time he found out I was a sub......We embarked a various conversations and he decided he liked the idea of being a Dom.......And so the Education started.... I'm a sub of 8 years experience.... I gave gentle advise of what he may what to purchase, etc etc 1st time we met.....Great.....For him duck to water 2nd time......Great again but subdued as at my house....but still great 3rd time....... In prep for this (He's insistence.......Every conversation was to how exstreme he was going to get....with detail over a 4 day period, he would proceed)....He wanted to push my hard limits....to the extreme???? In order to meet him, I had to endure a 6 day stretch of 12.5 shifts....to allow 5 days total with him. 1st day there.....went out with his friends.....got a spanking before we went out 2nd day........out all day with his mates and spent the rest of time getting his boat ready for sailing......sort of spanking on the morning and some extreme sex 3rd day.......All day with friends 4th day.....He had family over....and after a while he decided to get into Dom mode after family had left....and I was put to bed with a slightly sore bum 5th Day........Nearly time to go home....He ups the anty.......Then he lashes my arse and draws blood.....slightly Day 6.....I'm home, he freeks and Im dumped..... Dispite the fact he says he has loved me throughout, met my family and no contact at all Help? Oh and before some bright spark says " Youre Dumped HUN!".....Yes I do realise that...... My Question is....I gave him My Heart, My Soul and My Body.........Would other Doms kick a sub in the gob like that? Oh and for our USA pals.....'Kick in the Gob...Means Kick in the Teeth! xxxxxx In all honesty, it seems like things went too far, too fast. Some people take years to get to where you got to in several months.

lally2 -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/5/2009 6:37:21 PM)
theres slightly more to being a dom than spanking youre arse. you identify him as Dom after 6 days of what really only amounts to a bit of kinky fun. first off, i wouldnt afford him the title of Dom in the first place and so youre question, 'would a dom normally kick you in the gob like this' is moot. i would imagine he changed his mind on the kink and im really sorry that youve been hurt like this. but you cant teach a person to be Dominant in nature, need, drive and relationship prefferance, you can lead a guy into spanking you, hell most of my vanilla boyfriends spanked me on a regular basis, but it wasnt Ds because theyre world view on relationships was mainstream vanilla.

mauve -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/7/2009 4:12:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder He thought you sounded like "fun"...as in an easy lay, someone to fuck and play with which unfortunately a lot of men hear "sub" or "slave" or "kinky" and that's the automatic thought that runs through their head. He had his fill of fun with you, got what he wanted and that was that. He's moved on dear. Next time maybe slow down a little and get to know the man. Date, do the whole courtship thing and take your time before jumping into things. I'm sorry that's happened to you. Not all Dominants are like that. You didn't do anything wrong. Hope you find someone who truly deserves and appreciates your submission.

littlewonder -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/7/2009 8:24:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mauve quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder He thought you sounded like "fun"...as in an easy lay, someone to fuck and play with which unfortunately a lot of men hear "sub" or "slave" or "kinky" and that's the automatic thought that runs through their head. He had his fill of fun with you, got what he wanted and that was that. He's moved on dear. Next time maybe slow down a little and get to know the man. Date, do the whole courtship thing and take your time before jumping into things. I'm sorry that's happened to you. Not all Dominants are like that. You didn't do anything wrong. Hope you find someone who truly deserves and appreciates your submission. Where did I say that happened to me? I was commenting on the post and my thought on what happened to her. It does happen to lots of women who think that they have to fuck someone to get them to stay with them from the very beginning instead of taking the time to get to know each other. And thanks..I have found someone.

gracesky -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/7/2009 12:29:37 PM)
i am sorry that happened. Time heals wounds and it could be that it was all too much too fast. good luck

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/7/2009 5:12:15 PM)
Initially after reading the OP, I was going to say the guy's a total ass, to move on. But after a read-through, I can only wonder why things moved so fast...only the fourth spanking and your bum was already bleeding!? It takes time to build up real trust, usually more than six days. I counted three, maybe four, spankings and one extreme sex session in six days, and it takes more than spanking and extreme sex to make a Dom.....he needs to "feel it inside." I'm thinking maybe this vanilla guy tried it & didn't like it after all, or it freaked him out and he bolted. At any rate, I'm very sorry you got hurt, but it's probably best to move on now.

Teacherman4you -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/11/2009 12:50:03 PM)
I am that Dom. Suffice it to say that due to what I know now.....I was right! Dignity prevents washing dirty laundry in public.

lovingpet -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/11/2009 1:24:01 PM)
It is rare that both sides come to the table on a thread. We merely speculated on concerns that she expressed in her OP. If this is dirty laundry, then I should expect the situation will be dealt with privately between you. If there is any insight you wish to provide, I am sure it would be beneficial to the discussion. I sincerely hope any problems have been worked through and that this will be a successful relationship. I don't know what the situation is now, but I am an eternal optimist. Best wishes! lovingpet

Teacherman4you -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/11/2009 4:07:36 PM)
Hi Lovingpet, What I learned is to do with what legal details she took from my home. She used them to contact my ex wifes solicitors to do me down. She was also apparently using my pc to contact her other doms while I was at work. Betrayal from someone I trusted! And I don't consider anal extreme. Enough said I think. I am certainly better off out of it. Again, thanks, Teach

lovingpet -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/11/2009 4:32:53 PM)
I'm sorry to hear this. All I have to go on when posting is what someone discloses. I am sure it has been difficult dealing with what all happened. I will hope for you healing and the ability to trust and care again. My best! lovingpet

Teacherman4you -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/12/2009 3:03:42 AM)
I do understand. Thanks for your wishes, I will be ok, I know. All the best Teach

Chimortis -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/14/2009 8:59:53 AM)
I've seen people who try to "force it" either way - either to be into BDSM when they were not (as has been the case with my early attempts at "vanilla relationships" - people would try to force themselves to conform what they knew I needed out of consideration) as well as folks who were naturally Dominant or submissive who tried to go vanilla. It doesn't work. It can work for a day, or a month, or even a year or ten, but it won't work forever. If you are really looking for a permanent relationship, then you won't get it by denying your own nature. All you'll get is creeping doubt and unhappiness lingering and growing over time. I've seen it happen many times.

VirginPotty -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/14/2009 9:06:06 AM)
Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?[8\|]

AnimusRex -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/14/2009 10:38:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?[8\|] Deception and posing online? Naww, can't happen.

VirginPotty -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/14/2009 12:32:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AnimusRex quote: ORIGINAL: VirginPotty Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?[8\|] Deception and posing online? Naww, can't happen. The poor, poor guy/gal dom/slave..........getting crowded in there.

lally2 -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/14/2009 1:50:34 PM)
i cant believe that 'she' would trash her own character or that 'he' would portray himself as a cut and run type and then bother to come back to explain why - maybe im just being naive here, but what would be the point. i can see how someone would come here and paint a rosy glossy happy loved up perfectly perfect dynamic and pretend to be both people - that would satisfy a gap or a need to make the fantasy 'real'. i just dont see how anyone would want to paint such a bad picture of their fantasy. so in the spirit of that - i wish you luck Teach and i hope you can resolve things and sorry about my comments, i was just going on what the OP offered.

lovingdomwanted -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/15/2009 8:26:30 AM)
Nope I did not ever use your PC unless you were there....I hadn't got a clue how to unless you were there....... But Thank You...Although you accused me of all these things in e mail.....I never went through your paperwork or spoke to Doms whilst you were at work.....I was too busy being ready to welcome you home...After doing hours of your ironing I can see you have already talked certain people around to your way of thinking....The same way as I was with your stories your two failed marriages......ne But now at least you have slandered me in a public forum .....Thank You Darling.....

lovingpet -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/15/2009 8:42:00 AM)
Could we please take the drama in private where it belongs? I don't think anyone has been convinced of anything by either of you. I will say this continued childish behavior is far more telling than either of your posts about each other. Grow up! lovingpet

lovingdomwanted -> RE: Where did I go Wrong? (9/15/2009 10:53:30 AM)
Thank you Lovingpet...... He has know asked me to admit that I looked through his paperwork to contact his solicitors.....I didn't .... Im not going to be bullied by this man........He posted pics of me on CM under Yachtdom and this is his third profile..... Hope this helps xxxx

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