Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Where did I go Wrong?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Where did I go Wrong? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/5/2009 1:23:31 PM   
lovingdomwanted


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you Antipode

Profile was hidden as I re-started my profile after closing it at his request....I didn't want him messaging me when I was at my lowest.

But I didn't have to worry, he guessed my password and was spying my messages anyhow.

Yes prehaps youre right.... meet a nilla, stay nilla.....He wanted this....As for the expense.....He earns way more than me and although Im a sub, doesn't mean that expenses shouldn't be shared....Maybe not in your World, but in mine they are and he did originally offer.

I always try to understand the facts before slatting someone on the forum, but have to say im too polite to slate anyone.......After all, this is a forum to share experiences and thoughts.....

But again, thanks for your thought

x 






(in reply to antipode)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/5/2009 3:40:09 PM   
blackpearl81


Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingdomwanted

I met a Vanilla from another site with a military backgroung (UK)...If that makes a difference....Conversed over several months and during which time he found out I was a sub......We embarked a various conversations and he decided he liked the idea of being a Dom.......And so the Education started....

I'm a sub of 8 years experience....

I gave gentle advise of what he may what to purchase, etc etc

1st time we met.....Great.....For him duck to water

2nd time......Great again but subdued as at my house....but still great

3rd time....... In prep for this (He's insistence.......Every conversation was to how exstreme he was going to get....with detail over a 4 day period, he would proceed)....He wanted to push my hard limits....to the extreme????

In order to meet him, I had to endure a 6 day stretch of 12.5 shifts....to allow 5 days total with him.

1st day there.....went out with his friends.....got a spanking before we went out

2nd day........out all day with his mates and spent the rest of time getting his boat ready for sailing......sort of spanking on the morning and some extreme sex

3rd day.......All day with friends

4th day.....He had family over....and after a while he decided to get into Dom mode after family had left....and I was put to bed with a slightly sore bum

5th Day........Nearly time to go home....He ups the anty.......Then he lashes my arse and draws blood.....slightly

Day 6.....I'm home, he freeks and Im dumped.....

Dispite the fact he says he has loved me throughout, met my family and no contact at all

Help?

Oh and before some bright spark says " Youre Dumped HUN!".....Yes I do realise that......

My Question is....I gave him My Heart, My Soul and My Body.........Would other Doms kick a sub in the gob like that?

Oh and for our USA pals.....'Kick in the Gob...Means Kick in the Teeth!

xxxxxx  


In all honesty, it seems like things went too far, too fast. Some people take years to get to where you got to in several months.

_____________________________

~ Karma. Being a motherfucker since 1981 ~

Ms. Pacman was the greatest prostitute that ever lived. For 25 cents, that bitch swallowed balls 'till she died.

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/5/2009 6:37:21 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		theres slightly more to being a dom than spanking youre arse.  you identify him as Dom after 6 days of what really only amounts to a bit of kinky fun.

first off, i wouldnt afford him the title of Dom in the first place and so youre question, 'would a dom normally kick you in the gob like this' is moot.

i would imagine he changed his mind on the kink and im really sorry that youve been hurt like this.  but you cant teach a person to be Dominant in nature, need, drive and relationship prefferance, you can lead a guy into spanking you, hell most of my vanilla boyfriends spanked me on a regular basis, but it wasnt Ds because theyre world view on relationships was mainstream vanilla.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 9/5/2009 6:39:15 PM >

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/7/2009 4:12:11 AM   
mauve


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

He thought you sounded like "fun"...as in an easy lay, someone to fuck and play with which unfortunately a lot of men hear "sub" or "slave" or "kinky" and that's the automatic thought that runs through their head.

He had his fill of fun with you, got what he wanted and that was that. He's moved on dear. Next time maybe slow down a little and get to know the man. Date, do the whole courtship thing and take your time before jumping into things.


I'm sorry that's happened to you. Not all Dominants are like that. You didn't do anything wrong. Hope you find someone who truly deserves and appreciates your submission.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/7/2009 8:24:36 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mauve


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

He thought you sounded like "fun"...as in an easy lay, someone to fuck and play with which unfortunately a lot of men hear "sub" or "slave" or "kinky" and that's the automatic thought that runs through their head.

He had his fill of fun with you, got what he wanted and that was that. He's moved on dear. Next time maybe slow down a little and get to know the man. Date, do the whole courtship thing and take your time before jumping into things.


I'm sorry that's happened to you. Not all Dominants are like that. You didn't do anything wrong. Hope you find someone who truly deserves and appreciates your submission.


Where did I say that happened to me? I was commenting on the post and my thought on what happened to her. It does happen to lots of women who think that they have to fuck someone to get them to stay with them from the very beginning instead of taking the time to get to know each other.

And thanks..I have found someone.

(in reply to mauve)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/7/2009 12:29:37 PM   
gracesky


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/29/2009
Status: offline 		i am sorry that happened. Time heals wounds and it could be that it was all too much too fast. good luck

_____________________________

Also on An Owned Life

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/7/2009 5:12:15 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		Initially after reading the OP, I was going to say the guy's a total ass, to move on.  But after a read-through, I can only wonder why things moved so fast...only the fourth spanking and your bum was already bleeding!?  It takes time to build up real trust, usually more than six days.  I counted three, maybe four, spankings and one extreme sex session in six days, and it takes more than spanking and extreme sex to make a Dom.....he needs to "feel it inside."  I'm thinking maybe this vanilla guy tried it & didn't like it after all, or it freaked him out and he bolted.  At any rate, I'm very sorry you got hurt, but it's probably best to move on now.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/11/2009 12:50:03 PM   
Teacherman4you


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline 		I am that Dom.

Suffice it to say that due to what I know now.....I was right!

Dignity prevents washing dirty laundry in public.



< Message edited by Teacherman4you -- 9/11/2009 12:56:09 PM >

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/11/2009 1:24:01 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		It is rare that both sides come to the table on a thread. We merely speculated on concerns that she expressed in her OP. If this is dirty laundry, then I should expect the situation will be dealt with privately between you. If there is any insight you wish to provide, I am sure it would be beneficial to the discussion. I sincerely hope any problems have been worked through and that this will be a successful relationship. I don't know what the situation is now, but I am an eternal optimist. Best wishes!

lovingpet

(in reply to Teacherman4you)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/11/2009 4:07:36 PM   
Teacherman4you


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline 		Hi Lovingpet,
What I learned is to do with what legal details she took from my home. She used them to contact my ex wifes solicitors to do me down.
She was also apparently using my pc to contact her other doms while I was at work.
Betrayal from someone I trusted!
And I don't consider anal extreme.
Enough said I think. I am certainly better off out of it.
Again, thanks,
Teach

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/11/2009 4:32:53 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I'm sorry to hear this. All I have to go on when posting is what someone discloses. I am sure it has been difficult dealing with what all happened. I will hope for you healing and the ability to trust and care again. My best!

lovingpet

(in reply to Teacherman4you)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/12/2009 3:03:42 AM   
Teacherman4you


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/10/2009
Status: offline 		I do understand.
Thanks for your wishes, I will be ok, I know.
All the best
Teach

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/14/2009 8:59:53 AM   
Chimortis


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/29/2009
From: Morgantown, WV
Status: offline 		I've seen people who try to "force it" either way - either to be into BDSM when they were not (as has been the case with my early attempts at "vanilla relationships" - people would try to force themselves to conform what they knew I needed out of consideration) as well as folks who were naturally Dominant or submissive who tried to go vanilla.

It doesn't work. It can work for a day, or a month, or even a year or ten, but it won't work forever. If you are really looking for a permanent relationship, then you won't get it by denying your own nature. All you'll get is creeping doubt and unhappiness lingering and growing over time. I've seen it happen many times.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/14/2009 9:06:06 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/14/2009 10:38:54 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?


Deception and posing online?

Naww, can't happen.

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/14/2009 12:32:20 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

Why do I get the feeling the OP & the "Dom" are one & the same poster?


Deception and posing online?

Naww, can't happen.


The poor, poor guy/gal dom/slave..........getting crowded in there.

_____________________________

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/14/2009 1:50:34 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i cant believe that 'she' would trash her own character or that 'he' would portray himself as a cut and run type and then bother to come back to explain why - maybe im just being naive here, but what would be the point.

i can see how someone would come here and paint a rosy glossy happy loved up perfectly perfect dynamic and pretend to be both people - that would satisfy a gap or a need to make the fantasy 'real'.

i just dont see how anyone would want to paint such a bad picture of their fantasy.

so in the spirit of that - i wish you luck Teach and i hope you can resolve things and sorry about my comments, i was just going on what the OP offered. 

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to VirginPotty)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/15/2009 8:26:30 AM   
lovingdomwanted


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Nope I did not ever use your PC unless you were there....I hadn't got a clue how to unless you were there.......

But Thank You...Although you accused me of all these things in e mail.....I never went through your paperwork or spoke to Doms whilst you were at work.....I was too busy being ready to welcome you home...After doing hours of your ironing

I can see you have already talked certain people around to your way of thinking....The same way as I was with your stories your two failed marriages......ne

But now at least you have slandered me in a public forum .....Thank You Darling.....

(in reply to Teacherman4you)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/15/2009 8:42:00 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Could we please take the drama in private where it belongs? I don't think anyone has been convinced of anything by either of you. I will say this continued childish behavior is far more telling than either of your posts about each other. Grow up!

lovingpet

(in reply to lovingdomwanted)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Where did I go Wrong? - 9/15/2009 10:53:30 AM   
lovingdomwanted


Posts: 95
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you Lovingpet......

He has know asked me to admit that I looked through his paperwork to contact his solicitors.....I didn't ....

Im not going to be bullied by this man........He posted pics of me on CM under Yachtdom and this is his third profile.....

Hope this helps

xxxx

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Where did I go Wrong? Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063