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RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:10:25 AM

angelikaJ

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I think if your family is making you go (and you agree, since you are over 18), you should have a choice in who you see especially if they are paying for it.

Whom ever you see will still be bound by Doctor/patient confidentiality and HIPPA laws.

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RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:18:52 AM

BOUNTYHUNTER

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WE are dealing with both right now as my baby is dealing with some past life experieces and repeating the pattern of running after 12 years, her past 3 relationmships has taken this turn and we are trying to get to the botem of it all, she lost her brother they weren't twins but 11 montha apart and that experience along wasearh shaging for her and she isn't over it..S o after a lot of looking around and talking with lots of medical doctors we have found one that helping her with all of her problems..he tells me time and space has a big way of helping,O certainly hope so as i love that woman more then life..sao If you needa shrink please see one and don
't worry about the stikma ass with doing so..bounty

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RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:23:18 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

There was a time when being a masochist (or a sadist) in and of itself was considered to be a psychiatric disorder.
It isn't viewed that way anymore.

Correct. Sado-Masochism was labeled a psychosis. However, the acceptance of BDSM has been recent. That means that there are a chunk of people that were educated under the old system. (I was taught this in college) Also, regardless of what some people will say, personal views come into play. (After all, there are Docs that believe that homosexuality can be cured).

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Post #: 23

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:34:06 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Anyone ever had to talk to a psychiatrist about BDSM? Someone has told me that admitting to being a masochist gives you a quick trip to a padded room.

When I was going through my divorce, my ex---spiteful sort that she is---insisted that I have a psychosexual evaluation. It was her claim to her lawyer---and he bought it---that my new-found proclivity for a D/s dynamic and BDSM play was "dangerous" to my daughters. I was allowed to find the therapist to administer the test so I spoke to my own therapist (who was aware of my BDSM and D/s interest) and he found a kink-friendly psychiatrist to administer the test. It took about two hours between the interview and the administration of the test but in the end, I was found to be "able to participate in normal sexual activity, able to be aroused without the 'props' of S/M and able to recognize the difference between consensual S/M activity and non-consensual S/M activity, aware that abuse could occur even within a consensual S/M and D/s environment and finally---and most importantly---my interest in these activities did not correlate with a unhealthy sexual or deviant interest in minors." Oddly enough

, my ex was disappointed with these findings. Ironically enough, it was the girls' uncle---a man held up to me by the ex's family as a man I should try to emulate in terms of behavior and husbandly ways who wound up not only molesting my kids---his nieces---but his other nieces as well. Now I---the pervert---have a good relationship, after many years of struggle, with my kids and he---the good husband and Christian---sits in prison.

To shorten it...no, being a masochist or a sadist is no longer a ticket to the rubber room.

(in reply to curiouskitten8)

Post #: 24

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:42:06 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Anyone ever had to talk to a psychiatrist about BDSM? Someone has told me that admitting to being a masochist gives you a quick trip to a padded room.

No, it's not a "quick trip to a padded room" lol. Clinical masochism and "masochism" as used in the BDSM world tend to be quite different animals, same with sadism. Many doctors (psych and otherwise) are aware of each and do not worry or focus on it unless it is clearly part of a larger behavioral issue.

That said, psychiatrists *are* just people. Some will be horrified and consider you sick, some will consider it a potential concern if you have a mental health issue that it could be feeding unhealthily, some will (as mine did when I told her) ask if you've read Story of O and tell you "as long as you're being healthy about it and it makes you happy, I'm happy". Use common sense in who you tell, psychiatrist or joe shmoe.

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Post #: 25

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:54:57 AM

antipode

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quote:

Someone has told me that admitting to being a masochist gives you a quick trip to a padded room.

Is complete nonsense, and that would be unethical behaviour on the part of the therapist, too. If a therapist is not comfortable with treating you they are supposed to refer you on to someone better suited to the patient. The best place to go to find an appropriate therapist would be your primary care doctor, who has lots of information on specialists not accessible to you.

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Post #: 26

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 7:56:02 AM

abuddingdom

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You're getting the replies(& opinions) with which I agree. They've come a long way. If I was to seek counseling & was immediately met wih ass backward attitudes like that I'd be seeking elsewhere just as immediately. That was also a good point re the difference between psychiatry&psychology. They may be close cousins but at the same time are a whole different trip. You may also want to consider a social worker for counseling. Good luck to you, I hope you find someone with whom you'll be comfortable & will help you. It - often - isnt easy to find good couseling..........

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Post #: 27

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 9:07:03 AM

Missokyst

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If it was your family that told you about the padded room thing, they may be trying to scare you straight. What a load!
There are very few things that can get you committed. Hell, take a look at a downtown area of a metropolitan area anywhere and you will see more than a few that seem like they should be committed.
If you are over 18 why are you letting your family call your personal sensual choices nuts? If you are under maybe you should invest in downloading one of those nice temp file cleaners that will dump the traces of where you go. Try Ccleaner.

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Great news, thanks for your responses. I guess I'm not sooooooo worried now.
Hopefully the psychiatrist and of psychologist i get sent to, is understanding and open minded. The reason I asked, my family is insisting I see a psychiatrist after they found my CM account in the history (stupid me). Anyways, they think I'm seriously disturbed and all that fun stuff and I guess they'd rather pay someone to deal with me.

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Post #: 28

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 9:23:55 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

There was a time when being a masochist (or a sadist) in and of itself was considered to be a psychiatric disorder.
It isn't viewed that way anymore.

Maybe they are still reading the DSM III

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Post #: 29

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 9:32:02 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Anyone ever had to talk to a psychiatrist about BDSM? Someone has told me that admitting to being a masochist gives you a quick trip to a padded room.

Nonsense.
You're employing the psych aren't you?
Then go employ one you trust.

Oh for heavens sake. You are implying that the patient calls the shots and the doctor will not act without the patients approval?

If the doctor deems it necessary to commit a patient, he/she is not going to give a dead rats ass that the patient considers themselves to be the "employer"...

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Post #: 30

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 9:47:30 AM

SirLost

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As other posters stated, your situation isn't near getting hospitalised (even I had a serious self-harming period despite being dominant and never seen an asylum) and there is a significant difference between psychiatry and psychology (which you already know).

I understand your conflict with your parents, I have just have it with my own when I decided to talk with them about it (I'm a Dom who is 21 years old and lives with his parents. sounds funny, isn't it?). We have concluded that my this desire may be within a temporary period of time and they wouldn't obstruct me to satisfy my this fancy while I am also having the treatment. I would recommend trying to persuade them not to interfere satisfying your fancy. Your parents wouldn't wish to see you being injured by yourself or strangers, but blocking you to read about BDSM isn't going to help the situation.

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Post #: 31

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 9:57:54 AM

Esinn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Anyone ever had to talk to a psychiatrist about BDSM? Someone has told me that admitting to being a masochist gives you a quick trip to a padded room.

Modern Psychology as a whole has slightly embraced BDSM - consult the DSM. It used to be viewed as a serious mental illness. All one needs to do is read Freud to understand this. However, the individual who has been practicing in the field for 8 + years(I pulled that number out of a hat) proceed slowly with great caution analyze their words and reaction as much as they do you If you do not like it move the hell on.

I do not think a padded room would ever be in order. However, psychologists are good at what they do with years of formal training. The danger could be if they are sincere and out of the modern loop they will try to 'help' you in a way you are not seeking. I would seriously suggest a kink friendly. If that is not possible I would almost suggest you find some folks here with 5,000 + posts. I know that is a fallacy(Bandwagon) but you can weed out as you go while considering others.. Talk therapy here with others who are more experienced and intelligent than I(ya right you will find anyone more intelligent than me - pfft) might be much more beneficial.

Anywho.... Whatever your problem seek Cognitive Behavior Therapy(CBT) over Freud's psychoanalysis every time.

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Post #: 32

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 11:28:42 AM

CalifChick

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Psychoanalysis is a pretty rare bird in the US these days, as are "old school" therapists who don't keep up with the times. That's what all those required CEUs are about, as well as specific requirements in some states (such as in California, a class on ethics during every license renewal period for psychologists, which is 2 years).

If you choose to see someone, make sure you discuss confidentiality up front and make it clear that you do NOT consent to release any information to any of your family members or anyone that is not mandated by law (such as to an insurance company for payment of your claims). Make sure the doctor's staff is aware of this as well.

If you go in, and you sit down with the doc, and he says, "so tell me why you're here", and you say "because my mom is forcing me to come here because she found some BDSM material on my computer and she wants you to cure me" (or something like that), he may spend the next 49 minutes (a clinical hour is 50 minutes) trying to figure out if there IS anything he can help you with, and then send you on your way.

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Post #: 33

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 2:47:26 PM

kiwisub12

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My psychologist didn't encourage my newfound interest in bdsm - he gave me information to make an informed decision about my choices, and supported my decisions.
He didn't advocate one way or another - he was a sounding board for me - as he should be.

I love my shrink - even though i no longer "need" to see him any more.

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Post #: 34

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 4:36:51 PM

Esinn

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I just do not believe modern psychology, except for those who openly list kink friendly, will view BDSM in a positive light. As someone else implied it is not as bad as it was 10 - X years ago(numbers pulled from thin air). Correct me if I am way off base but a sincere psychologist will desire for you to take control of your life, fears and issues. Putting control or becoming dependent on another is typically viewed as something which needs fixed. This is partly due to the fact that they are typically not schooled on BDSM.

Those who have been schooled typically see those interested in S&M are not capable to love.

"There is a triumvirate of guilt, embarrassment and fear of intimacy for these people... It's rare that all of the sudden they can give up on being interested in pain and suddenly capable of being loved.""

Search keyword bdsm here.
Interesting link here
S&M as a mental disorger

I understand just as many links can be found debating either side. However, the objective of modern psychology without formal schooling on BDSM which was influenced by bias or personal misunderstanding sincerely desire to help the person understand and deal with their pain on their own without being dependent. The objective is reducing it and empowering the person to live on their own.

The objective of the top in not to have you fear, run from or somehow make you think your thoughts are bad. Rather together you are to embrace, challenge and push them. These are your core most personal feelings.

I just truly can not yet imagine a psychologist who has not went out of their way to understand S&M/BDSM will view it in a positive light. Especially one you have little rapport with.

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RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 5:03:12 PM

newone11

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I went to see a therapist that I had seen years earlier as I become more interested in BDSM. She is not 'kink friendly' and my previous visits centered around letting go of unhealthy relationships and PTSD. I was nervous to discuss BDSM with her. I asked what she knew about BDSM. She said nothing really and asked me to explain my current relationship dynamic. In the end, she pronounced me "not crazy", that she'd never seen me happier, and as long as I felt nurtured within it (according to my own measure) then her professional opinion was that a BDSM relationship could be perfectly healthy. She also said I was dating my father but that's a whole other issue!

The moral of the story....kink-friendly isn't a must but open-minded definately is.

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Post #: 36

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 5:08:28 PM

curiouskitten8

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I feel safe that I'm gonna get sent to inpatient now :) And when I meet with said professional, I'll try to keep the BDSM conversation to a minimum. My hope is that my dad doesn't have a conversation with the (dr/therapist/whoever it ends up being) before hand, about my "problem."
So now my question is, at what point to BDSM become a problem, and what says there's a screw loose and needs to be fixed? I like being submissive, its makes me happy I don't want someone to take that away from me.

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Post #: 37

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 5:24:43 PM

DavanKael

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Just read the OP, so I may be providing duplicate information.
Look up the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's Kink Aware Professionals list.
No, such an admission to a psychiatrist or any other mental health practitioner isn't an instant trip to a 'padded room'.
I can speak from a couple of perspectives:
1)I'm a counselor. When I worked in-patient, people had to be doing really dangerous shit to be put in a 'padded room' and they were in the hospital already. Also, on an out-patient basis, obviously, I'm bdsm-aware, I'm here, so someone telling me they're a masochist is part of the information about them but nothing that would inherently send smoke flying out of my ears or anything of the sort.
2)I have a counselor. When my ex- of 17 years and I separated, I thought I might blow a gasket, so I sought a counselor pre-emptively. She's wonderful! She'd never heard of poly- prior to having me as a client and learned about it to be able to talk with me about it. That was rockin' cool! Then, I brought up power dynamics and when I mentioned wishing to submit to a partner, she said, "Why would such a strong personality like you want to be a doormat?!" We talked, she understood that that was not the case at all (The doormat part) and, again, she learned and was non-judgmental.
A good counselor will meet you where you are and will be holistic in assessing the whole danger to self and others thing. :>
Davan

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Post #: 38

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 5:25:38 PM

rideemwet

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Laws may vary a bit by region, but my limited understanding is that being held against your will in a hospital or related facility in the U.S. requires basically an arrest and judge's order. A clinical professional may carry quite a bit of weight in that type of proceeding but they're bound by ethical and privacy laws.

Usually what would happen is someone gets arrested for some sort of charge and either the jail holding them or an attorney and family representing them get them re-assigned to psychiatric detention. Unfortunately, I've had to go down that road with a family member, although bdsm wasn't involved, but I can assure you that neither police or psychiatrists can impose much unless a crime is committed. Its truly depressing to watch a family member knowing that there's nothing anyone can do until legal charges are imposed. Thankfully things worked out OK in this case ...

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Post #: 39

RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 5:34:26 PM

DavanKael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

I just do not believe modern psychology, except for those who openly list kink friendly, will view BDSM in a positive light. As someone else implied it is not as bad as it was 10 - X years ago(numbers pulled from thin air). Correct me if I am way off base but a sincere psychologist will desire for you to take control of your life, fears and issues. Putting control or becoming dependent on another is typically viewed as something which needs fixed. This is partly due to the fact that they are typically not schooled on BDSM.
****Your belief is in error. You are way off base with the generalization you are making. (Check out my post for personal references to this).

Those who have been schooled typically see those interested in S&M are not capable to love.
****Where in the world did you get that assertion?! You use psychology a lot in your arguments but you don't often make sense. You just said that people in the profession aren't typically schooled in it, so they view bdsm as negative, then you went on to say that even if schooled in it, they have negative perceptions.

"There is a triumvirate of guilt, embarrassment and fear of intimacy for these people... It's rare that all of the sudden they can give up on being interested in pain and suddenly capable of being loved.""
****Who are you citing?

Search keyword bdsm here.
Interesting link here
S&M as a mental disorger
****Excessive citation is evidence of a mind lacking in complex thought-process and understanding. It seems like an undergrad trying to beef themselves up to a professor they're trying to impress or B.S.

I understand just as many links can be found debating either side. However, the objective of modern psychology without formal schooling on BDSM which was influenced by bias or personal misunderstanding sincerely desire to help the person understand and deal with their pain on their own without being dependent. The objective is reducing it and empowering the person to live on their own.
****While a good professional will not foster dependence, they will meet a person where they are.

The objective of the top in not to have you fear, run from or somehow make you think your thoughts are bad. Rather together you are to embrace, challenge and push them. These are your core most personal feelings.
****Sounds sometimes like what a counselor may do.

I just truly can not yet imagine a psychologist who has not went out of their way to understand S&M/BDSM will view it in a positive light. Especially one you have little rapport with.
****Horrible usage of the language here. There are a lot of sex-positive counselors! And, a counselor who has little rapport with a person is going to be looking to gain information to know the person better and to understand from where they are coming.

Esinn, you don't know what you're talking about, dude. You just don't!

Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 9/2/2009 5:35:53 PM >

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Post #: 40

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