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RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:01:50 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline 		You are an adult. The doctor can't discuss anything with your father. I'm not sure why you are going. Are -you- conflicted with your interests? If not there is no reason for you to be going into therapy or seeing a psychiatrist who by the way really only do medication management these days. I guess I'm not sure what purpose does going to see a therapist accomplish? Are you planning on walking away from your interests? If not then why not just tell Dad "I'm an adult and this is -really- not any of your business". If you are happy with who you are, then say so. I understand being submissive and wanting to please your parents but essentially what your parents want is for you to "submit" to not being submissive anymore. If this is naturally who you are, then trying to repress it, is only going to make you miserable. Life is way too short to live that way.


quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

I feel safe that I'm gonna get sent to inpatient now :) And when I meet with said professional, I'll try to keep the BDSM conversation to a minimum. My hope is that my dad doesn't have a conversation with the (dr/therapist/whoever it ends up being) before hand, about my "problem."
So now my question is, at what point to BDSM  become a problem, and what says there's a screw loose and needs to be fixed? I like being submissive, its makes me happy I don't want someone to take that away from me. 


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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:04:20 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		 
the way my therapist explained bdsm to me was -normal sexual activity can be expressed on a bell curve. On that curve, bdsm is on the far end  - normal but not common.  Normal - just as the person who only "does" missionary.  (but a whole lot more fun)

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:12:48 PM   
bluefireeyez


Posts: 119
Joined: 12/15/2008
Status: offline 		Haha whoever told you that is sadly misinformed about the Mental Health field.

First, being a masochist does not necessarily warrant needing to see a psychiatrist. If it is some thing you feel impairs your life, then talk to a psychologist (ie counselor). A psychiatrist is more likely to prescribe medication where warranted while a psychologist will work through issues with you.

Second, unless you threaten harm to yourself or others...which means enough to send them or yourself to the hospital or kill someone they are not going to send you to the hospital.

(in reply to curiouskitten8)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:18:35 PM   
curiouskitten8


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline 		I'm happy with my submissive self. I have other issues to work on. I just know that my dad is gonna tell them about the BDSM thing.

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:38:57 PM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

I feel safe that I'm gonna get sent to inpatient now :) And when I meet with said professional, I'll try to keep the BDSM conversation to a minimum. My hope is that my dad doesn't have a conversation with the (dr/therapist/whoever it ends up being) before hand, about my "problem."
So now my question is, at what point to BDSM become a problem, and what says there's a screw loose and needs to be fixed? I like being submissive, its makes me happy I don't want someone to take that away from me.



My parents were abusive and overbearing. They did not know about my personal life and still don't because they would insist I was sick and cut contact with my younger brother. They forced me into inpatient treatment at a hospital for a long time, and I hated them for it. I still haven't gotten over the anger of being told 'You don't do this, then you can just disappear'. I regret not growing a pair of balls and standing up to them, because my relationship with them may have turned out better if I had.

I strongly suggest you tell your family to back off. You are an adult now, whether they like it or not, and if you want to see a professional about something, then you will but without being forced to. Parents some times forget that they can't control their children's lives after they become an adult, and the fear of them getting hurt over rides common sense. I don't know what your situation is, but family telling you you're weird for wanting something different from them can't be making you happy and that's not right.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:47:45 PM   
curiouskitten8


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy




My parents were abusive and overbearing. They did not know about my personal life and still don't because they would insist I was sick and cut contact with my younger brother. They forced me into inpatient treatment at a hospital for a long time, and I hated them for it. I still haven't gotten over the anger of being told 'You don't do this, then you can just disappear'. I regret not growing a pair of balls and standing up to them, because my relationship with them may have turned out better if I had.

I strongly suggest you tell your family to back off. You are an adult now, whether they like it or not, and if you want to see a professional about something, then you will but without being forced to. Parents some times forget that they can't control their children's lives after they become an adult, and the fear of them getting hurt over rides common sense. I don't know what your situation is, but family telling you you're weird for wanting something different from them can't be making you happy and that's not right.


Thanks, sounds sorta like the same thing i'm dealing with. I really appreciate you sharing that with me.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 6:50:33 PM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I am seeing a p-doc for my bipolar disorder. My mom does not know about my BDSM tendancies though my UM does (she does not care). I do not discuss any of my tendancies with the p-doc and counsler for I feel it does not pertain to my disorder.

If your father wants to mention it to a p-doc, most likely it will be shrugged off. You are an adult and you have other issues that are far more important to deal with than foraying into your submissive side.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 8:14:51 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		As an adult you have every right to refuse your Parents or family to be present when you visit the Psychiatrist and they have no legal or ethical right to expect him or her to keep them informed. certainly the Psychiatrist may ask if he or she can talk to your parents or have them involved but it is your right and an adult to either allow or disallow.

My late Mother was really horrified when I resigned the Queen's Commission in the Australian Army (SAS) so I could fly over to the US and accept a mercenary contract enabling me to serve with the US Special Forces in Vietnam. My comment to her was as follows:
"Mother, if you are determined to try to form me into what you desire in your mould then you do not love me. If however you do love me, you will allow me to make my own way in the world and hopefully be ready with band-aids when I fall down."  My father stood and applauded me for that.

Perhaps this may help a little when dealing with your parents.


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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 10:37:41 PM   
MissCake


Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince

By the way, you should know that there is a real difference between a psychiastrist and a psychologist. Generally, psychiatrists are medical doctors who get about six months training in psych drugs. Most of them have little training in therapy. If you have kink issue, you would be better off looking for a psychologist.
  It is more like a four to six year residency.  They have much more clinical training than Psychologists, MFCCs, LCSWs, and others.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 10:49:27 PM   
MissCake


Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		There are many good reasons for you, as anyone, to visit a psychotherapist.  You have your family issues - we all do - you have the state of being 19 and in that transition from childhood to full adulthood and you could very much benefit from the guidance of an impartial third party.  Being "forced" to go is unpleasant at best.  But make the most of it.  Your parents can't really talk to the therapist unless they go under the therapist's care themselves.  The therapist can't discuss anything you say with your parents, at all.

Most therapists are rather careful about maintaining privacy.  Very few people who go to see a therapist are likely to be put under inpatient care, especially unwillingly.  If you are basically free from psychosis and not endangering yourself or others, you really need not worry.  Do not whip yourself into a frenzy about it.

Before they force you, don't give them a chance.  Locate a trustworthy therapist and start seeing him or her yourself.  I meant what I said - if you e-mail me I will be happy to help you find someone local to you.

(in reply to MissCake)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/2/2009 11:58:51 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BeingChewsie

You are an adult. The doctor can't discuss anything with your father. I'm not sure why you are going. Are -you- conflicted with your interests? If not there is no reason for you to be going into therapy or seeing a psychiatrist who by the way really only do medication management these days. I guess I'm not sure what purpose does going to see a therapist accomplish? Are you planning on walking away from your interests? If not then why not just tell Dad "I'm an adult and this is -really- not any of your business". If you are happy with who you are, then say so. I understand being submissive and wanting to please your parents but essentially what your parents want is for you to "submit" to not being submissive anymore. If this is naturally who you are, then trying to repress it, is only going to make you miserable. Life is way too short to live that way.


quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

I feel safe that I'm gonna get sent to inpatient now :) And when I meet with said professional, I'll try to keep the BDSM conversation to a minimum. My hope is that my dad doesn't have a conversation with the (dr/therapist/whoever it ends up being) before hand, about my "problem."
So now my question is, at what point to BDSM  become a problem, and what says there's a screw loose and needs to be fixed? I like being submissive, its makes me happy I don't want someone to take that away from me. 




Im going to go out on a limb and say she lives with her father and its most likely a stipulation to stay in the house.

OP- since you are 18+ the therapist will most likely refrain from talking too much with your father. They will view you as an adult, want to hear what you have to say. They will then tell your father that you are an adult, and completely capable of relating the incident to the Dr quite competently. Granted, they may placate him to an extent, but Kink friendly or no, they will recognoze an overbearing father for what he is, smile, nod and invite you in the office.

Your father cannot commit you unless you agree.

Theyll ask you all about why you think youre into this kind of this, try to assess if its "unhealthy" or not (in relation to its effect on you), and more than likely you;ll end up spending the rest of the hour talking about your dad. I can almost guarantee that.

Oh, and more than half of the first session will be family history [family tree, deaths, location of siblings etc], history of drug use and the like.

The psychologist will see you for about a month or more in order to assess if s/he thinks you need meds, and if so, then they will refer you to their overseeing Psyche, who will see you briefly, ask you a standard of questions, and decide if you do or dont need meds. Then only expect to see them when the script is out.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 1:01:45 AM   
ThoughtfulSwitch


Posts: 63
Joined: 2/7/2005
Status: offline 		According to the previous speakers I can say that it won't be the end of your life outside of a padded cell.

As a therapist could loose his concession for having any deal with your father or telling him anything without your permission, I don't believe that you need to be afraid of that. ;-)
Moreover by my mother's work I can say that a therapist usually recognizes the reason for the session. She's analytic therapist for children and youth and doesn't really have to deal with BDSM, but with parents sending their children to a shrink for parent-related problems. Often they would need a therapy or - in some cases - at least a bit of tolerance.

As for your situation there should not be a problem either. - You aren't into any life-ruining hardcore-stuff.
Submission is somehow comparable to dedicated (or devoted^^) love. It can be a feeling of love, trust, safety, perhaps a bit symbiotic.
Even vanillas may anticipate their beloved one's every wish without being sent to therapy. Being here on collarme can be a way of satisfying your curiosity.
That should be enough for a psychologist. There's no need to describe any urge to serve or to be in complete 24/7 control that detailed. ;-)
Submission isn't equal to submission, the therapist may know that, but I'd begin with the vanilla-edition.
(Note: This is an option because besides your familiy there is no reason for talking about. - If there would be a real reason this would be the wrong way!)
If the psychologist is okay it could be really interesting (for both) talking about submission, but this is optional.

It could happen that your therapist will refuse further treatment, because there's nothing to cure. You're allright.
I need to mention that my mother deals with parents frequenting shrink after shrink until they get their opinion affirmed.
So maybe you can ally with him and can find an explanation for your familiy, because they will need time - or just the half truth - to accept your lifestyle.

If you ever get any problems or question, feel free to contact me. - I'd also be to hear the end of this story.

(in reply to mixielicous)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 4:17:21 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		There was a rule of thumb in the Perth (Western Australian) Ambulance Service (St Johns) that when dealing with injured children, have one officer treat the child and the other treat the parents for hysterical shock. many parents just won't let go and still believe that they are the only people including God (in what ever form) who have both the right and ability to know what is right for their offspring no matter how old the offspring is. Having said this I do understand the attitude of the parent/s who state simply that if said offspring is living in their home the offspring will live by their (the parent/s) rules. No matter, and I do agree with this under the proviso that if the offspring wishes to have their own life free of parental control the offspring is better suited to fly the nest and establish their own home (flat, caravan, tent, or even cardboard box under a bridge); I do not believe that a parent once the offspring is legally an adult, that parents have the right to dictate what the offspring thinks, likes or wants to do especially if such actions which may clash with the parental way of thinking, is carried out away from the family home and is not contravening the law. 

_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 5:52:44 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Esinn

I just truly can not yet imagine a psychologist who has not went out of their way to understand S&M/BDSM will view it in a positive light.  Especially one you have little rapport with.



Davan saved me a lot of time in replying to the rest of your post Esinn however I do want to add that a lot of psychology degrees now (in Australia at least) include classes on alternative sexuality and lifestyles.  A person doesn't have to be kinky or even kink-aware to be non-judgmental and accepting of a person's choices in a counselling situation.




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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 8:04:47 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Beautifully said regarding your comment to your Mother, Iron Bear.  :> 

MissCake: Actually, the statement you referenced regarding psychiatrists is more correct than your explanation.  A psychiatrist is a medical doctor, so as part of that, they do have a couple of years of internships but usually there are a couple of specialties, thus the smaller amount of time.  Most aren't trained in counseling. 
Psychologists have a Doctorate in Psychology (Or related) and counseling is one of their focuses 
LCPC's/LPC's are a step below Psychologists with Masters or Masters-plus educations.  They, too, can practice independently and have specialized training. 
LCSW's/LCSW-C's are social workers.  Many places acknowledge them as equivalent to LCPC's/LPS's, though they usually have less emphasis on counseling and more emphasis on documentation, case management, etc. 
There are sub-independent licensures as well but unless somewants me to specifically explain those, I'll stop there.  Hope this helps.  :>

Thank you, wandersalone.  :> 
 
  Davan


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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 9:44:26 AM   
ChrisP2175


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/22/2004
Status: offline 		All Psyciatrists are trained, extensively, in counseling (from multiple psychodynamic theories) as well as medications for use in a variety of conditions (I am speaking of here in the USA, but it applies to Canada and most parts of Europe as well).

After 4 years of medical school, the physician seeking training and certification in Psychiatry does a 1 year internship (usually in Internal Medicine), and then 3 years after that just in Psychiatry and counseling. Most programs allow the resident in Psychiatry to undergo counseling himself/herself as part of training.

After completing the 4 years of training after med school, the physician is allowed to sit for a written board examination, and later (about 1 year later), a comprehensive 6 hour long oral exam, where the applicant is quized (by a panel of Psychiatrists and Neurologists) about everything they have learned, including anatomy and physiology of the brain, potential counseling scenarios (the panel will produce a hypothetical patient(s) with various issues), ethical scenarios, and many, many questions on psychopharmacology and brain disorders.

If they pass both the written and oral exam, they are then certified by the American Board of Neurology and Psychiatry for the practice of Psychiatry.

They are far more extensively trained in counseling than psychologists or LSW's, and if they are interested they can do fellowship training in other areas too (child psychiatry, marriage and relationship counseling, sexual issues, bipolar treatment, etc.)

It's not a walk in the park.

Chris

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 9:58:03 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		~FR~

I'm just skipping everything. For me, both personally and professionally, it is very simple. I don't deal with therapists that I have to "deal" with. That is not a good therapuetic environment. I refer clients to others if I believe they are unable to disclose to me because I want them to have the best possible environment in which to do their very hard work. I don't know that admitting masochism or sadism will get you shipped off anywhere, but with a non kink friendly therapist, it is more likely to severely alter the course of treatment instead of focusing treatment on the issues YOU view as pertinent. On occasion, professional judgement is used to determine something is a priority that the client doesn't see as such. If you don't want you kink placed under a microscope, then I would be very careful how much you discuss or even wait until you are in the position to see a kink friendly practicioner. Every once in awhile, things will bring you to having to discuss your kink as part of the overall picture in which your primary concerns are framed. Choosing a therapist should be done with great care. If you don't have the leverage to choose someone appropriate for you, then perhaps addressing thing through other means at this time would be better. I would suggest working through any meds issues with a doctor you trust along with support groups and other such helps until your options improve. People think one ear is as good as another. It simply isn't so. Not only kink friendliness, but personality, approach to psych and life, and much more are incredibly important in allowing a person to connect in a meaningful way for therapy. Good luck!

lovingpet

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 10:43:12 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Just one more comment about this forced counselling.  Does anyone else think this dad is domineering? 

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 10:45:12 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well, if it is forced feminization counceling, yes.........

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Dealing with a psychiatrist - 9/3/2009 12:07:13 PM   
SexyCarrot


Posts: 38
Joined: 9/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouskitten8

Anyone ever had to talk to a psychiatrist about BDSM?



Pfft... that's easy... try tellin' em you're produce!!! 



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Profile   Post #: 60
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