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The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 11:17:45 AM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
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Another question about service.

This isn't so much a talk about why a service submissive is happy in serving, etc.

This is more about HOW to serve someone gracefully, and pleasantly, I've noticed we talk more about theory around here, then the actual application of it.

So, D-types, HOW do you liked to be served? Let's go with food, drink and your other habits and things you enjoy (smoking, chocolate, how you like your tea, your scotch...etc).

Do you appreciate the little things? Like how a good wine steward has the perfect turn of the wrist as he pours the last of your wine, so it wont drip down the glass? Or how a tea napkin is folded in a pleasing, attractive arrangement?

Is the ambiance of the room important? Candles and incense? Perfectly shined silver flatware? A properly heated tea kettle?

Any ideas and advice are appreciated!

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 11:51:50 AM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
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I HATE Micro Management. There are things that I am particular about and I will make sure they are held to the same scrutiny that I would hold them to.

That being said when asked how I want things handled I will offten say....... Pay Attention.

I have staples things that I will eat any time, every time, no matter the situation. If I am Hungry and I do not stipulate what exactly to make me.

Bologna and Cheese w/ Miricle whip and Mustard.

What to make for Breakfast? Pay attention to what I eat I tend to eat the same things usually. Meaning that if you simply make what you have seen me eat you can't go wrong.

How do I like it served? Pleasently. I do not want to see that it is somehow a inconvenience for you to make me something or to bring it. I do not care for anything being nitpicked.

Ultimatly I find that the word "Effortless" comes to mind when I think HOW I want something done.

Am I missing what you are wanting to know?

Steel

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 11:57:39 AM

leadership527

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In general, I'm not big on the nuances. I tend to gravitate more towards the core of things. So, for instance, it is more important to me, by far, that Carol will quit her job and move to Canada at my request than whether she arrays her fingers in a pleasing way while she hands me a wine glass. I like Steel's word, "effortless"... that is to say, as the leader, I appreciate it when Carol follows smoothly and easily behind me, even if the path I'm leading down zigs or zags. I like not having to convince my submissive to submit. The rest of it is just window dressing and doesn't much matter to me.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 9/5/2009 11:58:17 AM >

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 1:57:43 PM

Prinsexx

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Every Master is different.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 2:25:14 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
Every Master is different.

Sure Pinsexx... that's an inescapable truth. But all the same, "everyone is different" is not an answer to all questions. Sunny, in this case, seemed to be specifically asking for a variety of input -- presumably so that she may draw what conclusions she needs to from it.

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~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 2:29:11 PM

Level

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Being served with warmth, and concern for my happiness, is what matters. Presentation doesn't mean too much.

And don't cook my ribeye too long.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 2:32:15 PM

SweetNika

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Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
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Level,
Ribeye are supposed to be cooked? I thought they were supposed to be chewing cudd still!

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 2:32:19 PM

WyldHrt

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Good topic, Sunnyfey

It will be interesting to read the variety of responses.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 3:21:53 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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He doesn't care about the elegances of life. So although I could do silver service, it would just annoy him. Plus there are better things for me to do with my time than polish sterling.

He's specific about some things, Skippy peanut butter, creamy - no other brands. No peas.

And dinner early.

But he's happier drinking his beer (Sam Adams, Boston Lager) out of the bottle than in a beer stein.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 3:28:17 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx
Every Master is different.

Sure Pinsexx... that's an inescapable truth. But all the same, "everyone is different" is not an answer to all questions. Sunny, in this case, seemed to be specifically asking for a variety of input -- presumably so that she may draw what conclusions she needs to from it.

Then my answer stands and I am not out with Sunnyfey...as I cannot answer on behalf of D types or Masters. I only know if I am pleasing according to the needs of he whom I serve and as I am someone who prides myself on inuitive service the idiosyncracies of service pertain to the one I am serving. Whilst rituals, techniques of sensation play, public scenes and munches do fall within the range of codes of ethics and conduct. personal service is deeper and beyond prescriptive rules and regulations save what a Master requires in that moment (in my experience).

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 3:33:35 PM

Musicmystery

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Any girl worth her keep will quickly learn the little things that need doing or that I like and begin anticipating them.

Yes, I appreciate that. I don't have time to bark out orders all day.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 11

RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:00:04 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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There are subtle things that may go unnoticed until they are NOT performed. Think of things that new servers in a restaurant fail to do. Things like orienting the handle of the coffee cup so the person can pick it up without turning it first, or placing a glass without touching the lip of the glass, placing silverware without touching the "business end", serving iced tea without a spoon in the glass, knowing how to set a proper table. Serving spreadable butter (not rock hard or god forbid, served on ice). Serving lemon wedges in cheesecloth wrappings (to control the juice and the seeds). Keeping glasses in the freezer for serving beer or vodka (depending on your likes).

Cali

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:07:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Travelling with Cali? Fuckin AWESOME. Srsly.

The most important component of service is the desire to please, the willingness to DO things without huffy huffing, complaints, eyerolls... if the person has that quality, knowing that I want extra ice NO sugar in my iced tea, CRUNCHY peanut butter only, etc is a snap!

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:11:10 PM

CalifChick

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Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
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Huh? Wha? What did I do?

Cali

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:12:02 PM

LadyPact

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I hope you don't mind a fast reply.

Yes! I love all of these things! Just his knowing how to serve a drink to please Me.... I am so happy.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:40:13 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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There are certain things that I -do- like certain ways -- and my lifestyle has certain requirements that someone in service would need to be attentive to.

*Tea, for me, is -always- Earl Grey, always with honey, and sometimes with cream or (during the holidays) with egg nog. Iced tea is -NOT- Southern iced tea... it is Lemongrass with a little stevia or orange agave. Iced coffee is with hazelnut liqueur, cream, and stevia.

*I don't eat grains, potatoes or legumes, and the grain alternatives that I have need to be handled properly (and also require a servant who won't have hives in the same room with nut flours, nuts, and egg protein -- that has been trickier than it seems~).

*When I come home from work, there are certain things that need to be in place. I need a change of clothing, my shower started (cool/lukewarm), and large glass of water (light ice during the summer). When I get out of the shower, veggies have to be prepped for supper, so that I can fix a meal (I actually -love- to cook, so at least 3 days a week, I would want to handle the kitchen myself, even with a servant who also enjoyed cooking).

There are more little things... but this is a good start.

Dame Calla

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 4:53:16 PM

Missokyst

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My ex husband was very particular about how things were to be done. Socks had to be rolled together and placed in the drawer from light to dark, with light colors in the back row of the drawer. Boot blacking for his boots was necessary as was using Brasso on his belt buckles and pins, since he was a Marine. I learned to cook lasagna like an Italian, stuffed cabbage like a Polish woman, and corned beef and boiled potatoes like an Irishwoman. He didn't care about how my wrist looked while I served him dinner, only that his dinner be exactly as he remembered it should be. He didn't smoke cigars in my presence, and never wanted me touching his "stash". His shirts had to be starched, ironed, set on wooden hangers and spaced with 2 inches between them. He had 2 closets to make sure this was possible.

In the meantime I had 3 drawers of clothing and shared my closet space with my daughters.

Over my lifetime I have learned many skills, few of which carried over from one mate to the next. I never met anyone as anal about his appearance as my ex. I hope never to run across that again. It is also why I do not choose slavery. Hmm... it may also be the reason I have chosen never to remarry.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 9/5/2009 4:55:41 PM >

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 5:29:49 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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Hmmm... Well let's see here...

I prefer the German brands of riding crops with the stiff shanks and tightly wound leather. I like my restraints to only cause hand numbness for an hour after a session. Any more is declasse, in my opinion. I like to be tormented with orgasm denial for longer than one week but not longer than two weeks. Oh, and when I serve dinner or clean the kitchen I prefer nude to the #$%#()_ frenh maid's uniform. While I'm not adverse to bruising, blood, or welts, tickling is absolutely not where it is at. And last, but not least, while I enjoy fox, dog, and even equestrian role play, neko is totally out.

Oh.. you meant... (confused look)

Sorry, Sunny, couldn't resist :D

Seriously, my former master was much like the dominants who are describing their likes. (Not to interesting to you, I'm afraind) A very few things, like grapefruit juice in his mezcal, not OJ, the right brand of cigar, and good music (his music) on the CD player when we took car trips were very important to him, but in regards to most small details of service? He didn't care, except that if he gave me a small detail, he expected me to follow it.

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RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 5:33:47 PM

kyraofMists

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Whatever we do is to be done with grace. That doesn't necessarily mean physically graceful, but grace in attitude. We cannot act as if it is a chore, be passive-aggressive or have a bad attitude.

As far as the details of how things are done, well there are a lot of little things and they are so natural to me now that I do them without thinking. It starts with laying his clothes out on the bed so they are there before he gets out of the shower.

Whenever he is served a drink it is carried and presented to him balanced on flat fingers with the thumb bracing the cup for balance. The handle is to be facing towards him and it is served on his right. If we cannot get on his right side because of how he is sitting then we can serve it on his left.

Before talking with him, we ask permission. This can be done verbally or with a specific hand signal. Most times he gives us permission, but there are times that he says no and we have to wait until later. This really helps with getting his attention and giving him time to switch his focus from what he is doing to us.

When he leaves the house, we kneel and put his shoes and coat on. In northern Alberta there are very few days out of the year that a jacket is not necessary. When he comes home we take his shoes off.

He has a specifc way that he wants the table set and he is specifc about who gets served when. The kids are always served first, then he is served and then Alandra and I. We are not allowed to serve ourselves until he has his food.

At night we have to prepare the bed for sleeping. The covers are pulled back so that he can climb into bed with no hassle and everyone's blankets are laid out. We each have very different comfortable sleeping temperatures, so we have three different blankets. Alandra's is the heaviest and it is folded in half, his is the next heaviest and then I sleep with just a light blanket. It is just enough to provide weight to the sheet.

We also have a specific side that we are to walk on with him. If just one of us are with him, we must be on his right and one step behind. We do not enter a door before him unless instructed otherwise. Our focus is to be on him because he has been known to hand something to his right and just drop it expecting us to be there.

For him comfort and accessibility are extremely important. Our focus is to be on him unless instructed otherwise and things are done in such a way as to provide him the most comfort possible. There are probably many other little things that we do on a daily basis that are just habit now and I don't even think of them. It took quite a bit of time together to learn all of it and for it to become a natural part of my interaction with him. To others, it looks effortless and it is extremely rewarding when someone says to us that Alandra and I seem like we are "mind readers" because he is served without asking from their perspective.

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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Post #: 19

RE: The "How To's" of Service - 9/5/2009 7:09:53 PM

Jeptha

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From: Portland, Oregon
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I've tended to not be excessively formal, and if I'm eating with someone, I'm usually a guest in their home, and I remain pretty minimally fussy. My predominant attitude is usually going to be gratitude for getting a bite to eat.

But I'm sure I have a few idiosyncrasies.

I like a knife to accompany my fork, where others will often have fork alone. If the food's consistency warrants any cutting, I dislike cutting things with the side of a fork.

I like a stout spoon, rather than a frail one (except for stirring tea or other dainty work.)

I like the milk (not much; almost a half inch, maybe) to be poured into the cup before the coffee, rather than after.

It's nice to warm the cups and plates so they don't chill the food - particularly if it is cool in the cupboards where they are stored.

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