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Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:24:27 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		There has been a ton of discussion as to whether or not people respond to profiles with pictures or not. My question goes more to the heart of what is in the picture. I usually read the profiles of new posters and am amazed to see how many are posting pictures of themselves amidst very messy rooms, rooms with only a mattress on the floor, etc. Now, I am NOT a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination and have had the luxury of hiring cleaning help at times, but really, who would post such stuff? And what does it tell you about them?

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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:28:55 AM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		i always look in the background of pics. i think more of curiousity as to what their setting is. But yeah, its super funky when you see pics that look like a tornado hit their house. Maybe a Dom could get away with it more than a slave. Maybe a slave would say " my god look at that house, they need a slave! " LOL!!! But who'd want a slave that looks like they live in a trash can.

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:31:09 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Who would want a Dom who couldn't organise his life well enough not to live in a pig stye?

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:31:46 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I used to be a neat freak in my house.......

Then I got, "Where's YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"

Having loosened up now, I get, "How many guys live HERE?"

Some shit is plainly undeterminable.

Ron



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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:40:47 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		LOL I read this and had to go look at what was in the background of my pictures. Most of them are taken at lifestyle events or in my Lord's dungeon so no clutter! *s*


kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:44:15 AM   
foxglove716


Posts: 648
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline 		I always notice this too, sunshine. It makes me think that the people sending these pics live like this constantly so it is normal for them, and theyre not conscious that a mess is what theyre projecting to the outside world. It is particularly troubling to see pics of doms in a pigstye. If you cant master your own environment, how do you expect to master anyone elses?

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Illusion is the first of all pleasures. -Oscar Wilde

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:44:21 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		doesn't tell me much~! what it does tell me will be far outweighted by anything I learn in person! It's a picture nothing more nothing less.

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:49:38 AM   
nonuts4thshoney


Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Who would want a Dom who couldn't organise his life well enough not to live in a pig stye?


Very true, very true Sir.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:53:14 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It does tell me a few things that could be true about the person, but I don't know if they are or not until I talk with them and actually meet them. They could really be a slob or the pic could have been taken at someone else's house, with someone else's camera and just happened to be a very good picture so they used it anyway. There are a mulititude of variables possible. I don't judge someone's character by a picture.

HOWEVER, I do think that a profile picture is part of that first impression which we only have one opportunity to make. And it's important to consider how you present yourself.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:56:58 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Even if they are not a slob, it's paying attention to detail. When i do my photo shoots for my Master, if i see things in the background - like omg the laundry basket is showing - those items either get cropped out or i retake the pictures. Plain and simple.

If the background on some of the profile pictures is a mess, i might think either that is NORMAL to them so they didn't even notice to take it out of the picture, or they simply weren't detail minded enough to catch it.


(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 11:58:29 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with KoM. A pictures bckground really says nothing about the person. How do you know it isn't a friends house or room? Do you assume they live outside if that is in the background? People seem to use any excuse NOT to get to know someone. LOL

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If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:03:48 PM   
wolffeathers


Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline 		Then you have those like me, full time student, full time worker. Normally, I sleep when I'm home.

Then again, I found my floor today. I was happy. I forgot that I had one.

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It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:10:16 PM   
WikedUncle


Posts: 45
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Even if they are not a slob, it's paying attention to detail. When i do my photo shoots for my Master, if i see things in the background - like omg the laundry basket is showing - those items either get cropped out or i retake the pictures. Plain and simple.


I suppose someone could be as challenged by editing tools as they are by brooms.

<looks around cautiously to make sure his background is presentable>

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"A man who can express himself in song need not express himself in suicide."

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:15:27 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WikedUncle

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Even if they are not a slob, it's paying attention to detail. When i do my photo shoots for my Master, if i see things in the background - like omg the laundry basket is showing - those items either get cropped out or i retake the pictures. Plain and simple.


I suppose someone could be as challenged by editing tools as they are by brooms.

<looks around cautiously to make sure his background is presentable>


LOL...if that's the case, retake the picture!!

i'm just saying what i do. To each their own. If i wanted to present myself to someone...i would pay attention to how i presented.

Then again... a messy state is perfectly okay for some. And maybe there is a messy partner who is perfect for that person!! (and i really don't mean that offensively)

lol now i'm looking at my place - and it's a mess!!! School books on the floor, bills on the desk, work spreadsheets on the kitchen table....ugh.

(in reply to WikedUncle)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:17:57 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

There has been a ton of discussion as to whether or not people respond to profiles with pictures or not. My question goes more to the heart of what is in the picture. I usually read the profiles of new posters and am amazed to see how many are posting pictures of themselves amidst very messy rooms, rooms with only a mattress on the floor, etc. Now, I am NOT a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination and have had the luxury of hiring cleaning help at times, but really, who would post such stuff? And what does it tell you about them?


This sounds horribly snobbish of me but what really perplexes me is when you have pictures of a dominant who has a submissive and it is a horribly cluttered background, or the dominant has taken pictures of their submissive in a messy background. Its like, for god sakes, put your sub to good use and get them cleaning!

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to Sunshine119)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:23:44 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		Another member of the site and I were talking about this just the other day...if it is a sub/slave picture, especially when the profile says housekeeping skills, smiles, makes you wonder what dominant would be impressed with their housekeeping skills. If a dominant, I agree, if the dominant can't organize and keep control of their environment, how could they be able do the same with a sub? Surely those folks might see the benefit to pushing the mess to the side at least so the picture gives a presentable impression.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 12:55:01 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		In defence of those who have clutter about them... There is a huge difference between clutter and filth. There is no reason for not stacking dishes in the kitchen and washing them. However if you are like me and often have numerous projects and jobs on the go at once, I defend my desk/work area with a wet mop from all who would tidy it up and mislay documents etc etc etc... Even amongst clutter there can be a degree of tidyness and order rather than chaos,, Clutter happens in House Iron Bear only because we needseveral more rooms and one as large as a barn for my office/work room/workshop....

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to kc692)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 1:02:38 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Even if they are not a slob, it's paying attention to detail. When i do my photo shoots for my Master, if i see things in the background - like omg the laundry basket is showing - those items either get cropped out or i retake the pictures. Plain and simple.


I do the same thing...I set the shot up in my head for a while.
When I have free time then I take them. Crop a lot.
It's an artistic expression for me.
They're self portraits and reveal who you are.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 1:17:46 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

doesn't tell me much~! what it does tell me will be far outweighted by anything I learn in person! It's a picture nothing more nothing less.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists



And yet...I notice that your pictures are not of the casual nature.
It's not like your hanging in the pool, drinking a beer at a family picnic.
Noooooo....You've chosen pictures that project the image you want people to remember you by.
Your pictures show off what you're proud of.
And there's no clutter in them.
I think you're pictures tell an awful lot about who you are...just an assumption though.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Mess in the Background - 2/26/2006 1:43:54 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

quote:

doesn't tell me much~! what it does tell me will be far outweighted by anything I learn in person! It's a picture nothing more nothing less.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists



And yet...I notice that your pictures are not of the casual nature.
It's not like your hanging in the pool, drinking a beer at a family picnic.
Noooooo....You've chosen pictures that project the image you want people to remember you by.
Your pictures show off what you're proud of.
And there's no clutter in them.
I think you're pictures tell an awful lot about who you are...just an assumption though.



mmmmm yes an assumption... a bar is set ... and when you um meet me in person.... the question will be... do I actually measure up to the assumption...... In away... thou... meeting me in the flesh not only allows you to compare the reality to the assumption... but it does allow a person to look at oneself and appreciate the accuracy of there own um perceptions.... SO when you gonna come and visit *EG*

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Aileen68)
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