DemonKia
Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007 From: Chico, Nor-Cali Status: offline
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FR, after continuing read thru Fascinating. First, something for Stella. They don't all specify the U.S., but I'm betting they are. After all, aren't we Yanks the only people on the planet? from: http://www.greatestherbsonearth.com/nsparticles/prescription_drug_alternatives.htm Top 10 Prescription Medicines - from the pharmacists (in order of the numbers dispensed and filled, not according to revenues generated) 1. Premarin 2. Synthroid 3. Trimox, Zithromax 4. Lortab, Zoloft, Paxil 5. Prilosec 6. Lipitor 8. Norvase 9. Claritin 10. Lanoxin Much lengthier, not so easily copy-&-pastable list at: http://www.rxlist.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=79509 There's even a book: http://www.amazon.com/Top-200-Widely-Prescribed-America/dp/0721612636 Okay. Now, 'depression' versus 'negativity' . . . . . . Well, I'm gonna use some personal examples to parse this out in a little more detail . . . . . . I suffer from some fairly profound depression, like an eternal grey, cloudy interior state. My inclination is to pessimism & cynicism . . . . . . I have worked to re-train myself to see things thru a more optimistic frame, & most especially to language myself to myself & to the exterior world in as positive a manner as possible . . . . . Metaphorically, I work every day to turn some artificial sunshine on that interior fog of sadness & lack . . . . . . While I do have this bio-chemical depression stuff, there is what I do with it . . . . . Contrast this with the gal I spent a week with, down in LA at the beginning of August. She was my best friend in high school, tho' we rarely see each other anymore . . . . . . Because, while she may or may not have her own depression issues, she is negative. (Ostensibly, she's not depressed, FYI.) 99% of what comes out of her mouth is a complaint, spotting problems & crises, or some similar negativity. Really & literally. There is nothing too small or too big, too profound or too frivolous, for her to complain about. I tried to counter-balance, to be a good demonstration of positivity, but after about day 3 I just shut up & got thru the ordeal . . . . . She literally never had anything spontaneously nice to say about anything. There is no appreciation making it out of her interior to the exterior world, & it would be easy to see her as being completely lacking in the ability to be thankful for anything in her life . . . . . . (&, as a side note, it was fascinating to watch how the 'law of attraction', subtle as it can be, manifested with her . . . . . There was never any lack of things & situations presenting themselves to irritate, annoy, interfere, or whatever with her life . . . . ) & there's no 'helping' her, there are no solutions that will work, she's tried whatever one suggests & it has failed her . . . . . It is futile to do anything but be her own personal buffer, soaking up all that negativity & being happy & cheerful & supportive despite all that . . . . . Or something . . .. . I'm not strong enough to take that shit endlessly, personally . . . . . . & I'm way less so anymore . . . .. Mostly, I just don't have time to spend on that on more than the occasional small dose .. . . . I used to be way more negative, myself. & I note now that then, I didn't really notice the complaints or the other specific markers of negativity . . . . . & there is a strong thread of those patterns in my extended family -- the HS best friend is strongly similar to my maternal grama, herself intensely negative . . . . . Both the HS best friend & maternal grama also initially present as 'very nice', but time spent will expose the continuing negativity . . . . I note, longitudinally, that both are relative social isolates these days, tho' in decades past they had much larger social spheres . . . . . . There are certain other traits shared that contribute to or exacerbate the negative stuff: impatience; argumentative & defensive, hyper so, even; perfectionistic expectations; displacement -- many complaints are about something or someone the audience has no ability to do anything about, which leaves a lingering, subtle sense of powerlessness; . . . . . . There was an interesting moment of note to this topic during my visit, early on. The HS best friend wanted to drag me into the middle of her deteriorating marriage (that had been presented as 'wonderful', 'fabulous', etc on the phone prior to the visit) & I had to put my foot down & have a reasonable communication about expectations & appropriateness. I also shared with her, during that communication, that I had a limited ability to tolerate her negativity . . . .. . Sometime in the next day a friend called her up; HS best friend came to me after that conversation & remarked on how the other person was full of complaints & how she noticed that & noticed how unpleasant it was . . . . . . It didn't really change her behavior, but I don't expect that, I was pleased at the interchange. I haven't 'written her off', rather there will be rules, & much shorter visits . . . . . . & I'll be more intrusive about her negative stuff in future times, as a condition of our interaction . . . . .
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