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Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 2:03:45 PM   
TheInocent


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/10/2009
Status: offline 		Do you believe it to be unrealistic to look for a Master that is monogamous? I new to BDSM, but now I can't seem to fathom sex without it. Could a "Real" committed relationship take place? I mean, do you know of any?
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 2:07:35 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheInocent
Do you believe it to be unrealistic to look for a Master that is monogamous?


No.

quote:


Could a "Real" committed relationship take place?


Yes.

quote:


...do you know of any?


Yes.



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to TheInocent)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 2:34:34 PM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		Not everyone is wired for monogomy if that is what you need in your life, in your relationships look for a man (dom) that wants the same thing as you. That being said I HATE the term real relationship because it suggests that any realationship that is not monogomous is not real.

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Blessed be,
Nika


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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 2:36:55 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		Yes.

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 3:50:31 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		Yes. My Master is monogamous. 

(in reply to daintydimples)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 3:52:01 PM   
NyDaddysGirl


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I'm in a monogamous relationship.  I wouldn't be involved with anyone that didn't want to be monogamous.

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 3:55:17 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Us. We've been together over 7 years. Monogamy is our preferred style of interpersonal relationships.

If you need that, don't accept less. Don't get into just any relationship when it's guaranteed to fail. Life being what it is, it is hard enough to deal with stresses when you are highly compatible. If you aren't, you haven't got much of a chance.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 4:22:44 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		All committed relationships are real. For many Masters, a monogamous relationship is very realistic for them and their partner. For others, no being monogamous is unrealistic simply because they aren't wired in that fashion. The same also applies to subs/slaves/switches.

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 4:54:37 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Plenty of dominants are monogomous. If that is important to you, then find others for whom it is important also. It is simple compatability.

lovingpet

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 5:35:47 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Monogamous is the only way for me. I just can't do poly. It's not in me..been there done that, tried it, just about killed me.


(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 5:38:44 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I would guess that some 60%-80% of the people I know on collarme are either in a monogamous relationship or are looking for one.

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 7:20:31 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		yes and i leave those desiring multiplicities and geometric shaped relationships to their own devices.

porcelaine


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His will; my fate.

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 7:21:48 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, you can have monogamous relationship. However, it would be useful to have a really good idea of what that looks like for you. Does monogamous mean no playing of any kind with anyone else or just no sexual activity with others or...

I dislike the idea that only monogamous relationships are real commitments. We are open poly and we are incredibly committed to each other. Commitment is not synonomous with foresaking all others.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to TheInocent)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 7:23:33 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		yes, It's possible... I don't know how or why, but it is. I know this becouse of how many people try to flirt with me.. and the get all upset when they find out that they will never be my only one...

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 7:24:48 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This is a flatly rhetorical question as phrased.

1) You're asking if there are Doms who are not actively polyamorous. Duh.
2) You're asking if there are Doms who are not cheaters. Duh.

The actual question is you seem to be curious about is whether you will be able to invite men who qualify under these two into your life...at which point, the answers aren't ones we can readily provide for you anymore.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 8:21:17 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheInocent

Do you believe it to be unrealistic to look for a Master that is monogamous? I new to BDSM, but now I can't seem to fathom sex without it. Could a "Real" committed relationship take place? I mean, do you know of any?


I wont speak for anyone else. My preference has always been and always will be, a one to one relationship

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to TheInocent)
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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 8:55:43 PM   
Lordmanannan


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/30/2009
Status: offline 		I've tried the poly bit. I honor those that can maintain the time and commitment it takes to maintain those relationships, but it isn't within my "wiring". I believe there is a general consensus that we are all individuals in our own right, and there is no static type.

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/10/2009 11:14:57 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Monogamous relationship outside BDSM ... Been there, done that, have the t-shirt and show bag with scars to boot. Not a natural things for me, I'm poly all the way. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/11/2009 1:31:59 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		My Master is monogamous... and He expects me to be so aswell... unfortunately we can't all have what we want...

(in reply to TheInocent)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Can you have a monogamous relationship? - 9/11/2009 4:35:40 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheInocent

Do you believe it to be unrealistic to look for a Master that is monogamous? I new to BDSM, but now I can't seem to fathom sex without it. Could a "Real" committed relationship take place? I mean, do you know of any?

Monogamous relationships are the only kind that work for me. I also embrace an ownership dynamic; can't do that (when "burdened" with priciples and a conscience) if there isn't a greater mutual committment.

But I get where you're coming from. Waaaay too many doms and "masters" adopt their title role as justification to screw around and manipulate naive subs....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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