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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:26:26 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		That's cool, just have fun.  Now at least you know if you want something from him sexually it won't be too much of a problem just taking it.

(in reply to SlutAndi)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:27:19 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlutAndi
I AM sure knowing my Dom very well that he has meant no disrespect in his post what so ever!!!! I can assure you.



Hello Andi
Regards to your dominant.  I am responding to your post regarding people 'taking offense'.  Rape is a hot topic and a) your doms a new poster b) he's male.  People will jump on him regardless... discrimination being what it is.  So don't feel that everyone takes offense to the emotion he is putting out there or that they misunderstand his words.  You might get a few people who try to ignore the point of the OP and concentrate on the words they don't like - my suggestion is to just ignore such - you don't need to defend that doesn't need it. 
We appriciated his candid post.

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(in reply to SlutAndi)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:27:48 PM   
JezzaV


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		To BOTH.

I suggest you READ and understand before diving in like bulls in china-shops.

Notice, for instance the thread's title. The word "rape" is in INVERTED COMMAS.

And to be honest, the experience was much the same. I was thrown on my back, held down.... and fucked senseless - even when I protested (well at first, at least)

But you've obviously missed the point on oh-so-many levels.

For a start, you've missed the dynamic of me prioritizing her feelings above my own physical urges and controlling said urges when we settled down to sleep only to be "taken by surprise". And also the emotional factor for me, usually the "big hard caveman" turning into a blubbery mass of "do what you like to me just don't EVER stop!!!"

You've also missed the fact that as a man who is Dom in our *very healthy* relationship, the shock of her taking control was a mind-fuck in itself.

And no offense, but in our Games, I often "rape" (PLEASE NOTE THE INVERTED COMMAS) my Pretty Lady, since the lust between us becomes so great I just keep can't my hand off her. And the feeling works both ways.

I cannot speak on her behalf, so I'll say no more, but it's all COMPLETELY consenting and so passionate the charge could blow out light bulbs.

I probably should have posted in the "Ask A Master" room but I'm a noob around here and I obviously mis-posted. But still, I find the VERY thinly veiled allegation that I am some sort of woman-abuser insulting to say the least. I love my Beloved Lady with all my heart and soul.

And as for that "bragging" insult, this the answer in London talk:

Listen love, you might thing we're all mouth and trousers. Fair play. A lot on the 'net are. But this was a valid and honest post. I wasn't bragging about anything. I'm hardly a randy teenager. (only wish I was! lol) It's just I've NEVER felt what I did when she "raped" me. EVER. Not with anyone. It was utterly indescribably... the pleasure, the wanting to fight her off to preserve dignigty... the final submission and turning into "her man-whore"...

I suppose only another man could understand.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:29:59 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
No he's not a switch, but maybe for 30 seconds there, it made his dick really hard to not feel in control for once. BFD dont force your idea of Switch on someone else. Thats not cool




the.dark
(.whoisfeelingiconic.)

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:32:39 PM   
Chimortis


Posts: 39
Joined: 8/29/2009
From: Morgantown, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chimortis

Guess what? You're a switch. Now start exploring and enjoying it. ;)

And most of all, remember that it's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact is that life-dominance and in-bed-dominance don't always go hand-in-hand. True dominance comes out in terms of how one leads their day to day life, not just what they do and how they interact in the sack.



No he's not a switch, but maybe for 30 seconds there, it made his dick really hard to not feel in control for once. BFD dont force your idea of Switch on someone else. Thats not cool



You're missing the point, which is that if someone finds something new that they like, they are only doing themselves a disservice not to explore it further. The closest thing we have to a dictionary definition of switch is someone who enjoys playing both dominant and submissive, to any number of varying degrees. The OP clearly enjoys some sub aspects, but generally identifies as dominant. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.


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(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:36:49 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I like rough sex.  I am not submissive.  Intention is what makes orientation, not the act.

OP, I have to say that your choice of words isn't the best, but I am really glad that you had this shared experience, and it cemented your relationship.  Not everyone gets to that degree of trust, or of self-confidence.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:37:02 PM   
JezzaV


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

I remember at one point crying out that this what it must feel like to be raped as she pinned my arms to the bed ...
you are pretty far off the mark there, dude.

Ummmm. I mean "raped" in context of our relationship...

IE: Me just jumping on her because she's so beautiful, gorgeous and scrumptious!

For us the term "rape" is analogous to "fuck you senseless". For instance, sometime when we're out and about she'll flirt or do something to turn me on...

I'll whisper in her ear "That's it, slut! When I get you home I'm going to rape you senseless!!!".

It kind of add an extra frisson of pervery that's a turn-on for us both. And the atmosphere sizzles with simmering unbridled lust. Trust me. It's a GOOD thing ;)

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:42:13 PM   
Malkinius


Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline 		{fast reply}

Greetings all....

Too many of you have missed something here about rape. All the references so far have been to one kind of rape. There is more than one kind. The OP was close to one kind, but not the kind all of you have been referring to.

Statutory rape is where the sex was illegal even if both parties were totally consenting. Most often this is when one party is either underage or not considered legally capable of making a voluntary decision due to intoxication, medication or diminished mental capacity. This is not the case here.

Blitz rape is where one person forces sex on an unwilling person. It may or may not be someone known to the attacker or who was with the attacker willingly. There is usually force or coercion of some sort involved or the so-called date rape drugs. This is the type of rape most people think of when they think of rape. It is also the least common or second least after statutory rape. I don't know the current statistics on it. This is also not the case here.

Discovered rape is where one party decides after the fact that they were really not consenting even tho they appeared to be or were at the time. This is often a sub-set of date rape. It is usually when someone has been talked into having sex when they initially didn't want to have it and after talking to others later decide it was rape for whatever reasons. This is close to the case here.

Date rape is where one partner in a marriage or dating situation keeps after someone for sex until they give in and it happens. There may not be force involved but there is usually not much. It is most often verbal, mental and/or physical instance until sex happens. A majority of the time the two have had consensual sex before. This is what I think was the type of rape that was going on here even if it was not the type of rape that he was thinking of.

For most blitz rapists, the point of the rape is power over another. Sex is the main point of the other types. There is overlap and both sex and power can and do play a part in most rapes except the completely consensual statutory rapes. There the point is all about sex.

All that having been said, what the OP described is what a slave of mine used to call and beg for which was 'slave rape'. That is where the Master uses his slave for his own pleasure and doesn't care if she enjoys or gets off on it or not. I guess you could call this situation 'Dom rape'. <grins>

Be well all....

Malkinius


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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:42:22 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chimortis


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chimortis

Guess what? You're a switch. Now start exploring and enjoying it. ;)

And most of all, remember that it's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact is that life-dominance and in-bed-dominance don't always go hand-in-hand. True dominance comes out in terms of how one leads their day to day life, not just what they do and how they interact in the sack.



No he's not a switch, but maybe for 30 seconds there, it made his dick really hard to not feel in control for once. BFD dont force your idea of Switch on someone else. Thats not cool



You're missing the point, which is that if someone finds something new that they like, they are only doing themselves a disservice not to explore it further. The closest thing we have to a dictionary definition of switch is someone who enjoys playing both dominant and submissive, to any number of varying degrees. The OP clearly enjoys some sub aspects, but generally identifies as dominant. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.



No, you're missing my point. Its not up to you or anyone else to label him. And by stating "Guess what? You are a Switch! Now go enjoy it!" is you labeling him with your definition of Switch.


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(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:49:26 PM   
JezzaV


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chimortis
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chimortis
Guess what? You're a switch. Now start exploring and enjoying it. ;)
And most of all, remember that it's nothing to be ashamed of. The fact is that life-dominance and in-bed-dominance don't always go hand-in-hand. True dominance comes out in terms of how one leads their day to day life, not just what they do and how they interact in the sack.

No he's not a switch, but maybe for 30 seconds there, it made his dick really hard to not feel in control for once. BFD dont force your idea of Switch on someone else. Thats not cool

You're missing the point, which is that if someone finds something new that they like, they are only doing themselves a disservice not to explore it further. The closest thing we have to a dictionary definition of switch is someone who enjoys playing both dominant and submissive, to any number of varying degrees. The OP clearly enjoys some sub aspects, but generally identifies as dominant. I don't see anything wrong with that at all.

Actually, I agree with Chimortis. I like to control, I love things like tying a perfect knot/rig, etc...

BUT... that utter loss of control... that submission... as has been said, perhaps my words in the OP where not the best thought out. I'm used to chatting with more Extreme pals. But yes, being forced into a submissive place like that.... It truely WAS phenomenal. I'll make no bones about it. She wanted me as her sex-toy. And I had no choice int matter! lol

But never having been "there" before... WOW!!! I mean, I've had past lovers ride me before, but NOTHING like this!

And the fact that my Beautiful Lady who is usually so submissive and shy took me there... it was like... I don't know, it's like "take a googleplex, times it by infinity and.... KABOOOMM!!!!"

All I know it was utterly mind blowing for me, and I think it helped build a lot of confidence in her too. I just wondered if anyone had the same feelings/experiences?

(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:50:29 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

No, you're missing my point. Its not up to you or anyone else to label him. And by stating "Guess what? You are a Switch! Now go enjoy it!" is you labeling him with your definition of Switch.



Well, I mean... he does kind of sound like a switch.


That's why I was asking the OP if this was a one time thing or if he intends to pursue it further... but we're too busy going on and on about whether or not the use of the word ""rape"" (quotes in quotes on purpose) is offensive or not.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:52:40 PM   
JezzaV


Posts: 16
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Be well all....



Oh dear god thank you for the voice of reason!!!

(in reply to Malkinius)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:55:03 PM   
sigh4u08


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline 		ok, i 'get it' that when OP stated 'Like she really WAS raping me' he may not have MEANT that, but as others have stated, to use that term in such a case (rape-play, forced CONSENSUAL sex, etc) truly can cause pain to those of us who have gone through the real thing. i happen to enjoy forced sex with a trusted partner, and in many ways, it's healed me from the degradation and pain caused by the actual rapes/molestations i endured. To have someone toss that term around loosely isn't an offense worth hanging, and i certainly hope he's learned a big lesson from his unintentionally trivializing one of the most painful experiences a human can go through. God knows i've done enough of sticking my foot in my mouth, and i hope others will always let me know what i've done, then give me a chance to show them i learned.

(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:58:10 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Date rape is where one partner in a marriage or dating situation keeps after someone for sex until they give in and it happens.
yanno...i really question this. If they give in then there is implied consent.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 3:59:53 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		to the OP

I did understand and appreciated that it was written "raped".
I never thought your motivation was to intentionally offend.
Furthermore, I get that during this particular power exchange your mind was not on whether your thoughts at the moment were "politically correct".
It really would have taken all the fun out of it for you both if you had.
The hotness factor went up for you exponentially when you allowed her to take complete charge and "take you" and when you gave yourself over to the primal-ness of that.

I did not object to your sharing the experience.
It was the way it was framed that I had issue with, but honestly, I can't tell you how I would prefer you to frame it differently.
I suppose, in my imaginary world, some kind of acknowledgement that you understood the major differences.


However, Jezza, you go on to say: "I suppose only another man could understand."
Given that several women said they did understand... I am not sure why you would write something that was needlessly inflamatory and that sounds suspiciously misogynistic.
You might be interested to know there are many threads on fantasy rape and consentual, non-consent play/ forced play, often started by women.


Oh, and by the way, welcome to the boards... to both you and Andi.




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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:00:01 PM   
SlutAndi


Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elipsis

That's cool, just have fun.  Now at least you know if you want something from him sexually it won't be too much of a problem just taking it.

Going back on other things said.. It will only be a bedroom switch. He is very much to me the MAN of the house and I personally like it that way... No harm in exploring it and seeing where we go.

Obviously I cant speak on his behalf.. so I will leave that for him to decide if thats what he wants. :)

(in reply to Elipsis)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:01:18 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Listen love, you might thing we're all mouth and trousers. Fair play. A lot on the 'net are. But this was a valid and honest post. I wasn't bragging about anything. I'm hardly a randy teenager. (only wish I was! lol) It's just I've NEVER felt what I did when she "raped" me. EVER. Not with anyone. It was utterly indescribably... the pleasure, the wanting to fight her off to preserve dignigty... the final submission and turning into "her man-whore"...

I suppose only another man could understand.


As for "a man understanding" show me one and I'll take it up with him. A title and a bad attitude doesn't make you dominant over even yourself and certainly not me. As for it being an insult, those were your own words that got you into trouble with the sub mafia and I was just bringing some perspective to the party. But hey, if you like to be that new to the board, put your foot in your mouth, then insult a stranger stepping in on your behalf...you have bigger problems than any percieved insult.

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(in reply to sigh4u08)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:03:54 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
As for "a man understanding" show me one and I'll take it up with him.


Hi.

< Message edited by Elipsis -- 9/18/2009 4:04:12 PM >

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:17:44 PM   
SlutAndi


Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline 		Oh for the love of sweeeet cadbury's chocolate bar can we please move on from this.

It is clear now what the OP was meaning... yes some incorrect wording, can we just leave it there?

Either we discuss actual point of the thread of just leave it right there.Its going to go round in circles and YES the OP has realised his mistake.. no need for it to be rubbed in.

Its unfortunate that this has left everyone to get off on the wrong foot.. a real shame to be honest. Maybe amends can be made..:)

With that its bedtime, good night and take care.

< Message edited by SlutAndi -- 9/18/2009 4:25:23 PM >

(in reply to Elipsis)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:25:32 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline 		*drags slutandi back in and hugs her* naw your cool....sleep well

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Profile   Post #: 40
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