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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:44:07 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Date rape is where one partner in a marriage or dating situation keeps after someone for sex until they give in and it happens.
yanno...i really question this. If they give in then there is implied consent.


Yeah, I thought "date rape" was where the parties were acquainted, knew each other, one wants sex, the other says no, but the first one overpowers (can be mentally and physically, not necessarily brutally) the other and has sex with them anyway.  Consent was never given nor implied.

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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/18/2009 4:48:54 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

Date rape is where one partner in a marriage or dating situation keeps after someone for sex until they give in and it happens.


WTF??? Wow..you really have a misconception of date rape.

Date rape: an assault or attempted assault by usually a new acquaintance involving sexual intercourse without mutual consent.

It simply means you know your rapist. Has absolutely nothing to do with "giving in and it happens".

What utter shit.

<shakes and tries not to say more than that>

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 12:49:00 AM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, there are Dommes who enjoy such things (even those of us that have been raped in the real sense.  Probably few, but we are out there.)  One of our most memorable evenings is one in which Slave played the role that put him in control and ended in "rape play."  I enjoyed it, he enjoyed it, and we have it on tape for our future enjoyment.  Glad you enjoyed your play time as well.

(in reply to JezzaV)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 2:21:10 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		The act of overpowering is a hot one, especially when its taking a man sexually.
I too use the 'unspoken word' because I understand the difference, just as I understand the difference between being beaten by my man or beaten up by an abusive partner and just as I see knife play as something different to the terror of a real knife attack or that when a Dom talks about fucking his baby girl, he's talking about consensual adult fun.
I also accept that some people will get upset by the certain use of words.

Thanks for your experience. I didn't see it as bragging but something that blew your mind and happily you wanted to share.


Thanks for that

Maria

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 3:04:46 AM   
OrionAndi


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks for you input, Maria. You're spot-on.

"Andi" and I visit other fora where fantasy-forced/rough/passionate-sex is often described as "rape", so we use term between us to describe play-time now and again. For instance...

Say we're in a restaurant and she's looking particularly gorgeous and edible (she ALWAYS does, btw!)

She might flirt a little, or just do something to turn me on (which for her might be something as lewd as just BREATHING!)

I'll pull her close and growl "That's it woman! When I get you home I'm gonna rape you!!!"

Obviously, I mean "pounce on you, rip your clothes off, eat you alive and fuck you senseless!" - and it add a frisson to the atmosphere... a sense of excitement and "build up to the Main Event".

This is why I placed the word in inverted commas to show it as colloquialism. I am sorry if the word offended some people, but there are very few words that I actually find offensive and I tend to "tell it like it is". I suppose I'm real-life Tim Taylor sometimes!

And you're so right about that occasion blowing my mind - it was not just the pleasure - which was AMAZING... it was the shock as well, the sudden flood of emotions, the feeling of having my entire soul being completely enveloped ... let's face it, being "the man" means taking the lead, even say if the woman is on top, but this was soooo different, I can't find the right words to explain it (as I think I said).

There was a feeling of utter "one-ness", total surrender to her and her wishes. I just "knew" at that point that I want to be with her for the rest of life so deeply in my soul it actually made my cry. I just wondered if any other blokes had that experience.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 4:37:07 AM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good morning!
  Sounds to me like she finally got in touch with her deep dark self. It's the same way I feel with Master (not in his Daddy role) when he is playing and I can see the change in his eyes. He allows his deepest, darkest fantasies to come out and he is okay with that. And there I am under him, or whatever-so happy that he only allows ME to see it, to share it with ME.  It doesn't happen all the time but when it does, it is very intense..seems like even the very air can change. Otherwise he goes back to Daddy, but it is a real rush knowing that as he is cuddling me or letting me do dishes that that part of him is right there, waiting to come out. Yummy!
Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 4:57:24 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		An ex dom used to command me to "ride" him. Very similar to what the Op described ...except he'd take over at the end.

Yes, he enjoyed it immensely. No........he was soooooooooooo not a switch.




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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 5:15:00 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		::fanning away the smoke:: good lord - all the potshots are reducing visibility.

1) Jezza - I took your post at face value and you get many extra cookies for being able to weave words into images.

2) As usual, I agree with the wisdom of LadyH
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I like rough sex.  I am not submissive.  Intention is what makes orientation, not the act.

OP, I have to say that your choice of words isn't the best, but I am really glad that you had this shared experience, and it cemented your relationship.  Not everyone gets to that degree of trust, or of self-confidence.



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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 5:18:31 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		OP, welcome to a healthy dose of  'Forum Drama.' As you become more active on the boards, you'll be able to pick out the ones who enjoy causing drama, and be able to avoid them.

I really enjoyed your story, and it made me think of a similar experience I had where he said he 'felt raped' afterward because I'd taken him completely by surprise, held him down, and forced myself on him and used him for my benefit and then left him laying on the floor stunned. As someone who was molested as a teenager by a grandparent I was very close to, I still don't fly off the handle when some words are used out of context, and I'm sorry people are attacking you.


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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 5:32:27 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Look Jezza, OA, or whoever you are. The problem is not so much that you chose the wrong word. The problem is that you aren't taking responsibility for it. You could have avoided all the drama by simply apologising for thinking this was in any way equivalent to some 300 pound gorilla coming up behind a woman in a parking garage, putting his gun to her head, and raping her while her kids watched.

Instead you whined about us picking on you, and then you compounded your mistakes by saying that you're more extreme than we are.

You claim to be dominant, so act like a man and take responsibility for your words and actions. Your sub stood up to the plate, you didn't. And that isn't right.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 7:12:40 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JezzaV

OK... here's the story, I'd appreciate feedback from all aspects/personalities (as usual).

So we where still cementing our relationship. A difficult one too, due to the vagaries of distance.

But what with one thing and another things have become strained between us.

So as we retire to bed she says no offence, but she'd rather just cuddle and sleep. I'm fully-on, but I want her like mad. But I love her, and she's all that matters to me, so I relinquish the whole "I'm the Dom" bit and say OK, let's just cuddle then. We talk for a while, and soon sleep's warm, sultry caress is calling to my unconscious.

All of a sudden she's caressing me, touching me, all over me.

I won't into details, but she basically switched from "get your filthy hands off me you yukky... MAN!!!" to "I want you now I'm damn well gonna HAVE YOU!!!"

I remember at one point crying out that this what it must feel like to be raped as she pinned my arms to the bed ...

And then... just "rape me rape MEEEEEE!!!!" it was like she was drilling into the bed ... er ... but in reverse...

It was totally random and the BEST fuck I've ever had. I have no problems saying it. I have no idea how long it lasted, but I was well and truly HER Bitch!!!

Even when I cracked her up laughing by shouting stuff like "I'll be your man-slut forever, just don't EVER stop" it just felt... I can't really describe it.... Like she really WAS raping me, and I loved it, being HER source of pleasure/passion/emotion... I can't explain it in words. It's as though my soul was weeping in joy, singing in the caress of an Angel's wings.

To this day, for all the games we've played, how honored I am at the trust she places in me... I just LOVED the way her lust just took over, especially when a Vanilla would just roll over, fart and go to sleep.

It's funny. To me it really cemented our relationship. In day-to-day life, when facing the world, I'm the Big Bad Dom!!! But in real life, I'm really only her servant and soldier to feed her and give my life to protect her.

I just wonder if alone in this, just have the bollocks to tell it like it is, or just ... weird!


Based on the information given I an going to say that the only thing the OP had was lustful "Hot monkey sex" because rape is not about sex, it is about control, power, humiliation, objectification as well as physical and mental torture. I so not see any of this mentioned in the OP's statements

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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 7:16:02 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I suppose I'm real-life Tim Taylor sometimes!


You blow stuff up?

Glad you both had a good time, it can indeed be a hot experience.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 7:43:41 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49




Based on the information given I an going to say that the only thing the OP had was lustful "Hot monkey sex" because rape is not about sex, it is about control, power, humiliation, objectification as well as physical and mental torture. I so not see any of this mentioned in the OP's statements


In that case when we talk about humiliation and objectification and even torture, are we talking about the real stuff or the stuff we are into?
When we talk about slavery are we talking in relation the African slaves that suffered in our hands or the Eastern European girls that are coerced into white slavery and prostitution in our countries? or are we talking about the stuff we are into? If there is some relation to the real thing then we must be careful not to offend Africans and Eastern European people.
When we talk about kidnap, are we talking about real abduction and the terror that comes with it or are we talking about the stuff we are into?
The list goes on.................

This is really starting to irk me.
I was once attacked by a gang of youths on a public footpath whilst walking my dog. I was pregnant and had my young son with me who could only look on terrified as they beat and humiliated me. I had my premature baby that same afternoon and for years after I was still traumatised by that event but I dont shout every time someone uses the word humiliation or giving someone a beating because although the same words are used 'I know' they are a world apart from the real thing.

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Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 7:52:54 AM   
SlutAndi


Posts: 36
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline 		Hi all, just a quicky going of topic for a moment.

Yesterday it was decided that Orion and Andromeda would create a Couple account, which makes more sense for us both.

So just to clear up any confusion. "JezzaV" will probably be used on the odd occasion, Orion and Andi ARE who we are. :)

Andi x

(in reply to Chimortis)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 7:59:55 AM   
abuddingdom


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline 		Strictly addressing the point and only the point here : there's no confusion as to who's the D & who's the s in my house. But, my pretty one likes sex & needs it. She cant always wait for me to "take charge", or even to be the one to initiate in that department. It's not often, & for the most part  she follows my lead but when she's really needy she can get a little assertive & even now&then a bit aggressive. She bites, scratches, has even been known to snarl&growl & even hiss. Yes, hiss. She's a pure submissive, & she wouldn't do this if I didn't allow her to, but we are animals, no? Sometimes it comes out.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 9:12:40 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Just to clear something up..it wasn't the word "rape" I had a problem with. I have no problem when bdsm people say "when I get you home I'm gonna rape you".

I had a problem with the thought of "I now know what rape feels like". It's the "feels like" part. You have absolutely no idea. You have an idea what "rapePLAY" feels like. You have a feeling of what being taken feels like. You have an idea of what rough, passionate sex feels like.

By saying you know what rape feels like you're denigrating those who have been raped. It's like when people say to someone who's been hurt, "I know how you feel"...eerr..unless you've been in the same exact spot, you have no idea and really it's an insult to the person who is hurting.

I don't know if that helps to clear up anything or not but that's the point trying to get across by people here.

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RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 9:14:37 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Just to clear something up..it wasn't the word "rape" I had a problem with. I have no problem when bdsm people say "when I get you home I'm gonna rape you".

I had a problem with the thought of "I now know what rape feels like". It's the "feels like" part. You have absolutely no idea. You have an idea what "rapePLAY" feels like. You have a feeling of what being taken feels like. You have an idea of what rough, passionate sex feels like.

By saying you know what rape feels like you're denigrating those who have been raped. It's like when people say to someone who's been hurt, "I know how you feel"...eerr..unless you've been in the same exact spot, you have no idea and really it's an insult to the person who is hurting.

I don't know if that helps to clear up anything or not but that's the point trying to get across by people here.




On that score I agree with you

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 10:20:59 AM   
OrionAndi


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Just to clear something up..it wasn't the word "rape" I had a problem with. I have no problem when bdsm people say "when I get you home I'm gonna rape you".

I had a problem with the thought of "I now know what rape feels like". It's the "feels like" part. You have absolutely no idea. You have an idea what "rapePLAY" feels like. You have a feeling of what being taken feels like. You have an idea of what rough, passionate sex feels like.

By saying you know what rape feels like you're denigrating those who have been raped. It's like when people say to someone who's been hurt, "I know how you feel"...eerr..unless you've been in the same exact spot, you have no idea and really it's an insult to the person who is hurting.

I don't know if that helps to clear up anything or not but that's the point trying to get across by people here.

I cannot speak for Orion, But yes I see where you are coming from and you make a valid point!
But.
It was clear that he was talking about "rape" and not the real horrific rape some woman/men have been so unfortunate to have endured.

For all.
So from that by him talking about "rape" As in taken roughly/ forced and concentual ect ect ( as we have already discussed) The "I now know what rape feels like" meant " I know what the taken roughly/forced and consentual "rape" feels like"... " now i know what it feels like for her when I do this to her" In a sex play manner.

Basically the only fault that was made in his post was infact the punctuation in that sentance. instead of saying "rape" he said rape. And the "felt Like she WAS really raping me" meaning it wasnt just "she got on top and f*cked me"......... he couldnt explain the feeling.

Pretty amazing how just a silly mistake of punctuation make such a wrong turn on a sentance.

But it WAS clear that he infact was not talking about real rape. Never would he condone such an act..

He started the thread with "rape".

All I am saying on this. Orion is a very humble, funny, intelligent, gentleman. And I am a lucky woman to have him my life.


Andi.



< Message edited by OrionAndi -- 9/19/2009 10:22:26 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 10:49:44 AM   
OrionAndi


Posts: 73
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		Also to add, what many of you didnt notice is that there is a large element of humour in his post which was not picked up because he is a new poster.. If his post wasnt so wrongly interpretted you would have seen that. So it could have been quite a fun interesting little thread. but hayho.

And please dont wrongly interpret that by saying " So he thinks rape is funny".

Thank you so much to those who did undertand and give light on the point of the thread. Mucho appriciated

(in reply to OrionAndi)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Getting "raped" - 9/19/2009 11:14:23 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionAndi

Also to add, what many of you didnt notice is that there is a large element of humour in his post which was not picked up because he is a new poster.. If his post wasnt so wrongly interpretted you would have seen that. So it could have been quite a fun interesting little thread. but hayho.

And please dont wrongly interpret that by saying " So he thinks rape is funny".

Thank you so much to those who did undertand and give light on the point of the thread. Mucho appriciated



I agree, its time to lighten up.

pinning your man down and having your wicked way with him is so hot.
About a year back we were at a party in a poly household and had our fem sub with us. Us two women woke up before him in the morning and decided to get the rest of the women in and tie him up. As far as I can remember there was five of us that suddenly pounced on him, tied him to the bed post and stood back whilst I took my own satisfaction!

The best part of it was when I had finished we all left him tied to the bed and went and made ourselves coffee. When we walked back into the bedroom our sub was taking advantage of the still tied up Stephen!
I think thats a morning he remembers fondly..... I certainly do.


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S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to OrionAndi)
Profile   Post #: 60
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