Ialdabaoth
Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Elipsis
Seriously. I either should go way further west, or just more east.
Do you know what this city is known for? Old people. #2 in the country in old people.
Anyway sorry, I'm derailing the thread.
Yes, but it's okay, we need a side-stop.
If I may, I think you're falling into "Nice Guy Syndrome". It's a trap!!
You're doing a lot of things because you genuinely care about them, but (I'm betting) you're ALSO lamenting that they don't get you the same ease of results that being a grade-A asshole seems to get other people.
The thing that the grade-A asshole will never understand is the idea that virtue is its own reward.
Listen, I've had the bimbo. I've also had the deep, sensitive girl that I could share my most intimate thoughts with. And they were both fun. I've never had the same level of success - with either of them - as someone a foot taller than me, with 100 lbs of more muscle and $500,000 more in his bank account could have. I've had six sexual partners in my life, and every single one of them lasted more than 2 years. I've maintained a poly household. I've maintained a 7-year committed relationship. I've maintained a 4-year monogomous pair-bond. I've been the envy of the local fetish scene with the amount of play I was getting. And yet my track record sucks compares to people like Bimtrain.
Before I start rambling further, let me try to pull some thread of coherence out of all of this:
First, stop trying to be a Nice Guy and start trying to be a Good Person. They're remarkably similar - so similar, in fact, that you can often accidentally slip into one when you think you're still doing the other. It is better to be Good than to be Nice. Being Good is its own reward. Being Good is about doing things because they're what need to be done. Not because they're the right thing to do, per se, not because they make you a "good person", and certainly not because people will think better of you - but because doing them will make the world a better place for everyone stuck in it. So keep being good.
Second - and this is an extension of #1 - always remember that Being Good is its own reward. More specifically, I mean that you don't Be Good to pick up chicks, and if you find yourself lamenting that Being Good isn't getting you laid as much as Being A Jerk gets other people laid, it's time to question your motivations. On the other hand, don't be too hard on yourself - you need to Be Good to you, too, and remember that sometimes you're going to get frustrated or desperate or jealous. This too shall pass.
Third - realize that, while you may not have the same short-term success rate as other people, if you stick at it you will eventually learn to succeed. Think of life as a kind of game, with no referee and no scorekeeper. All the asshole tricks that you see working are cheating. And if you want to cheat, great - there's ultimately no rules except the ones you make. But if you choose to make rules for yourself, then try to actually live by them. How much more satisfying is it to learn to win by playing - to learn the actual skills and traits of a master player - than to fall back on the "easy" path of cheating your way to victory?
So, yeah. Hang in there. Even if you don't get what you want as soon as you want it, remember that that isn't the path you chose, and the path you're on has its own rewards.
|
RE: Too Picky??? - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread