RE: too fat to be a domme? (Full Version)

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PowerOverU -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 8:36:26 PM)

My real answer is...OF COURSE NOT! Being a Domme comes from within!

Now just because I LOVE playing devils advocate and taking on indefensible positions...

It depends on your desire. How do you feel about being overweight. Do you wish you weren't? Are you 100% comfortable in your own skin? If not one could say that if you are unable to control your own body, appetite, fitness, etc then you are not fit to control another. Submitting to being disciplined by someone who appears undisciplined, well, I'm sure you can see the folly in that.

That particular guy just had something (unwanted) up his ass. As far as I see you're perfectly fit on the outside to be a Domme. I just wanted to offer an adverse perspective as well.



Elipsis -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 8:42:09 PM)

1.  The Internet is a place of anonymity without consequences and you must always remember that people will constantly take advance of this.

2.  The proper response to the message sent to you, in my opinion, would be as follows:  "I could probably work off a lot of calories whipping you."



sweetsub1957 -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 10:08:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You are not too fat to be a dominant, by any means... but so many of the men who write to us are too stupid to be our submissives! [:D]


Love it!



sweetsub1957 -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 10:14:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: misstressnew

is there a size limit to being a domme?

the reason i ask is that i have received a message from a guy stating im too fat and to give up now

now im thinking he is just in need of some very firm discipline

just thought i would check though as i dont want to spend anymore cash than i already have on equipment. most seem great on here.


He's just being a total asshole.  There is absolutely NO reason a plus-size woman can't be anything and everything She wants to be.  You are definitely NOT too large to be a Domme.  Some like 'em small and some like 'em BIG.  My Sir likes me just how I am & I'm way plus-sized, which is evident from the multitudes of pictures on my profile.  [:D]



MaamJay -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 10:27:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

 
quote:

ORIGINAL: TPEOwner

Forgive me for invoking the grammar police, but it's relavent to your question. There is no such thing as "a domme". Even accepting that "domme" is accepted in the community as an abreviateion of dominant when applied to a female, "dominant" is an adjective. So "a domme" is really doubly abreviated for "dominant woman". Since to the best of my knowledge there is no medical study suggesting that you can be too heavy to be a woman, we can then focus on weight as a determining factor in having a dominant personality. Even then though, there is a difference between having a dominant personality, and desiring to take the dominant role in your play or relationships. I know of many women with dominant personalites who prefer the submissive role in their relationships. I also know of many who consider themselves to be "a domme" who are as dominant as a houseplant. Your question therefore, can be taken two ways. "Does size limit someone from having a dominant personality?", or "does size limit someone from taking the dominant role in a relationship or play".

It is my experience in this wonderful internet driven "BDSM community" that the terms dominant and submissive mean virtually" (no pun intended) nothing. Everyone defines those terms differently, and thus they are essentially useless for anything other than a starting point. That being the case, what anyone else thinks you are or aren't should be totally irrelevant to you. If you can find somone who you wish to take the dominant role with, and who wishes to take the submissive role with you, then you can both live happily ever after, or at least until the next day when they decide you aren't a "real domme", or you decide they aren't a "real subbie", and the search begins again.

And as a couple of parting notes, toys don't make you dominant, no matter how many bags you have of them. If "most seem great on here" to you, then you have either not been here very long, you aren't very observent, or you have very low standards. This site is a cesspool of liars, game players and emotionally broken people. Out in the real world, only castlerealm can compete with collarme for being the most derided and loathed bdsm website. And frankly, the real world bdsm community aint so great either.

Happy hunting.
Since you seem to be so interested in correct grammar, i took the liberty of highlighting your errors.

And since this site is such a "cesspool of liars, game players, and emotionally broken people"..please feel free to tell us which one you are?


Oh thank you holly dear, you've saved Me the trouble! (I think it fits into the category of dickhead Myself!)

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



MaamJay -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/22/2009 10:36:00 PM)

And to the OP ... as many have said, size doesn't make the Domme ... attitude does. Being plus sized also doesn't mean you have no self-discipline, there are poor unfortunates like Myself who eat what is prescribed, exercise as prescribed ... and still don't lose any weight leaving the dietitians shaking their heads and deciding you belong in the "too hard basket". Genetics has a lot more to do with a person's metabolism and body size than is generally accredited.

What is more important is having a healthy degree of self-confidence, knowing yourself really well, knowing what you want and being very prepared to learn a LOT about human nature! Toys and play are really a side issue, or rather they are more important to Tops, Domination takes a lot more psychology and mental skills. If you want to be the total package ie a Domme who is also a great Top ... then welcome to the learning journey! Enjoy!

And along the way, don't let rude assholes upset you ... accept right now that you won't be for everyone ... but who'd want to be?

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



Moonhead -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 5:05:10 AM)

Perhaps the twerp who sent the message thinks that insulting and offending a dominatrix is the best way to get her to top him? There's some odd sorts on the internet, after all.



SultryMomma -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 7:21:21 AM)

FR

I have been told that I am too fat, too ugly, too soft, you name it, that's what I have been told. Don't let the idiots get to you. Be who you are and love every minute of it.

SM
(Kris)



misstressnew -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 9:36:18 AM)

thanks everyone for all the advice. much appreciated.
as far as shopping is concerned i am planing on taking it slow just getting a couple of choice items to begin with and then adding to them as and when i need them or feel the urge to try something new.
i am comfortable being me and happy with who i am. will not let the idiots get me down lol




MistressEllen444 -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 9:40:16 AM)

There are many wonderful sub out there who would probably be more than happy to gift you a toy or two in exchange for your time and attention. I have received many fun things and make many of my own. These are non-solicited gifts so if you feel uncomfortable asking or suggesting that you may like or need something I would not mention it. I would suggest that if you engage in anal play with your subs that you have them bring/get their own. In my opinion those should not be shared and they can get quite expensive for the good quality ones.
I can give you some ideas for super cheap, fun things if you are a little handy.



SkinnySlave -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 12:59:18 PM)

There are MANY men who ONLY seek larger Domme Women.  i know, because i am one.



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 4:21:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: misstressnew

is there a size limit to being a domme?

the reason i ask is that i have received a message from a guy stating im too fat and to give up now

now im thinking he is just in need of some very firm discipline

just thought i would check though as i dont want to spend anymore cash than i already have on equipment. most seem great on here.





Actually, he's just in need of a case of "Not worth my valuable time". As long as you enjoy what you do, and are willing to do the "heavy lifting" of maintaining your end of the relationship(s) you enter into, there is no reason that you can't be and do whatever you choose.

I am 5'5" tall and 317 lbs (long story -- 17 years on prednisone), and have multiple sclerosis and I am still dominant, and I still enjoy training servants and maintaining a high-protocol, Victorianesque (steampunk/teapunk) household -- and am looking at turning our household into a small-scale, self-supporting farm once I relocate... so decide what you want... and once you know that, then those who don't like it can suck sour, sweaty socks.

Dame Calla



sirsholly -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/23/2009 4:54:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elipsis

1.  The Internet is a place of anonymity without consequences and you must always remember that people will constantly take advance of this.

2.  The proper response to the message sent to you, in my opinion, would be as follows:  "I could probably work off a lot of calories whipping you."

personally i prefer "I can lose weight, but you will always be an idiot."



Elisabella -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/24/2009 10:11:08 AM)

-FR-

No honey, no size limit at all. In fact a lot of submissive men view size as an indicator of power and strength and have a fetish for larger and taller women.

This question is like asking "is it possible to be too fat to be a girlfriend" - of course the answer is no but there's always going to be some prick that says mean things for no reason other than a perverse need to bully.

Welcome to the boards gorgeous!



VampiresLair -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/24/2009 10:20:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: misstressnew
the reason i ask is that i have received a message from a guy stating im too fat and to give up now


This is known as bait. This is the line someone uses to try and get you into a debate about size to which they hope to get their little rocks off on trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Most of the time, it doesnt work because any sub with half a brain would know better than to send that sort of unsolicited message to a domme and still call themselves a sub. There are people who cant feel good about themselves unless they can make someone else feel bad. Sad, really.

Ive had dominant friends from size 4 to size 44, and i dont think any of them had to worry about weigh-ins to get their domme cards.

le sign, and this guy is probably one of the same ones who start a thread elsewhere complaining about how impossible it is for a twue slave to find a good mistress.

DV



DePubed -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/24/2009 10:26:15 AM)

A large woman (as in 'fat') is more desirable to me because my major need is to be spanked over the knee with a hairbrush; and I have found that when I am laying across the large, ample, lap of a large woman, I really feel like a 'little boy' again. As she spanks me, I can't squirm off her lap easily. I feel as if I have shrunk and am trapped across her lap. This is wonderful but only occurs when I am over the lap of a large woman. The small women or the thin women cant give me this effect. I KNOW that if I want to I can just pull away, knock them over, etc. that I am stronger and bigger than they; but with a large, fat woman I truly feel controlled when being spanked over her wide lap.
So I guess my response is the proverbial: "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade" (instead of lamenting that all you have is bitter, inedible lemons). So all you large women, turn your situation around, use your size & weight to your advantage: find guys like me who need to be bare-bottom over your lap. We need each other. If you focus on the other guys who are only attracted to 'young/thin/petite' you will always feel bad about your self. And if you try to focus only on the guys who are attracted to large women (as in 'chubby chasers') it is hard to find them; but if you make use of your size to dominate guys like me who need to be spanked by 'mommy', then you and we can have a fulfilling time.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/25/2009 1:36:39 PM)


You'll get that off people sometimes, it doesn't mean a thing; it's just what theythink, not what the whole D/s community thinks.



DarkSteven -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/25/2009 6:49:37 PM)

Repeat the Popeye mantra - "I yam what I yam".  If you're a Domme, no idiot stating that you're too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, etc., will faze you.  All you need is the mindset and the gender.



mnottertail -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/25/2009 6:50:42 PM)

I'm too fat to repeat the mantra.

Ron



Ladynslave -> RE: too fat to be a domme? (9/25/2009 7:39:39 PM)

That would be like saying I am too small to be a Domme.  There are no size limits on either end of the spectrum.  You are what you are,  a beautiful Domme that has much to offer a truly deserving slave.   Obviously your hit and run messenger was not deserving.



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