Why are collars important to a slave?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why are collars important to a slave?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why are collars important to a slave?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 5:23:16 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

Someone asked me this question today, and I realized I could not give a good answer to that question. The answer I did give, really offered no explanation. I told them that it was kind of like a wedding ring. Then I was asked why a wedding ring was important. I replied with "its an outward symbol of an internal commitment". The person asked why a symbol was important, if the commitment was already made. That one I didn't have an answer for either.

what do you all think?

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat

Post #: 1

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 5:31:52 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

People tend to like symbols. Tangible things they can touch and hold that are tokens of their relationships, be they friendships, family bonds or romantic relationships. Now why? Fuck if I know. It might be social conditioning but I'd say it's just something in most people's wiring.

But things like a wedding band or a collar also alert other people to the fact that you are involved with someone. It's a declaration to the world. Perhaps because you want to show off your bond or because you want people to see it and leave the hell alone or some other reason.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 2

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 5:33:41 PM

Ialdabaoth

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Someone asked me this question today, and I realized I could not give a good answer to that question. The answer I did give, really offered no explanation. I told them that it was kind of like a wedding ring. Then I was asked why a wedding ring was important. I replied with "its an outward symbol of an internal commitment". The person asked why a symbol was important, if the commitment was already made. That one I didn't have an answer for either.

what do you all think?

Because the human mind is not infinitely plastic, and tends to instinctually imbue external objects with certain essences. (This is the original definition of the term "fetish", btw - a physical prop that someone believes has some sort of potent mystical meaning).

A wedding ring or a collar serves as a physical reminder of an internal commitment. Sure, there's probably some people who possess the mental fortitude to not need one. Everyone else uses the collar as an external reminder of what they value. You can only spend so much of your day reminding yourself of your commitments - having an external reminder helps ensure that there's a back-up in place in case you forget - that you're unlikely to forget for very long. This is especially helpful in the beginning, when good habits and practices are still forming.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 3

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 5:53:31 PM

Sunnyfey

Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline

I came across this while doing a bit of research......

"Let's say that the culture around us, for whatever reason, has decided over time that it is the custom for men to give women a gold-colored bow around her right wrist to signify the bethrothed to be.It is hard-wired in the masculine instinct that being of lower status than other men is BAD, and one is less masculine (and feels less fully alive or "passionate" about life) as a result. NOT giving a bow then may not matter much to the man, because they are cheap to come by - a piece of cloth. Not giving one doesn't lower his status. So why not forget about it?To the woman's hard-wired instincts, it is not rank, but BELONGING and "being normal" that is passionately held dear at the reflex level. To not receive a gold cloth bow to her has nothing to do with the financial cost, but the embarrassment of being "excluded" from the cultural norm of women who DO have one. The woman would then feel less feminine, less attractive and less attracted by the oversight by the man."

It speaks to me, I think this is how I would feel to an extent without a collar.....though that really does not explain what it actually means to me.

_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

Post #: 4

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 5:56:42 PM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

Someone asked me this question today, and I realized I could not give a good answer to that question. The answer I did give, really offered no explanation. I told them that it was kind of like a wedding ring. Then I was asked why a wedding ring was important. I replied with "its an outward symbol of an internal commitment". The person asked why a symbol was important, if the commitment was already made. That one I didn't have an answer for either.

what do you all think?

Ask "the person" why people argue over the flag. It's just a symbol.

Then ask "the person" why s/he is being obnoxiously obtuse.

Perhaps as a symbolic gesture.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 5

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:03:56 PM

utahSteelsandi

Posts: 63
Joined: 2/14/2009
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

because it's something for you, sort of a constant physical reminder of the commitment you made to said person. i also believe that sometimes it is so that everyone stays the fuck away from you. i know that when i am around people that i don't know very well or am feeling uncofortable, the feeling of my wedding ring and collar comfort me.

hope this helps.

andi

_____________________________

"Steel Warm-up" was created at the Green Door in Las Vegas with Merc and Beth and WyldHrt, I don't see what the big deal is it's was just a Saturday night ... Sunday Morning to me!

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 6

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:06:44 PM

utahSteelsandi

Posts: 63
Joined: 2/14/2009
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I came across this while doing a bit of research......

"Let's say that the culture around us, for whatever reason, has decided over time that it is the custom for men to give women a gold-colored bow around her right wrist to signify the bethrothed to be.It is hard-wired in the masculine instinct that being of lower status than other men is BAD, and one is less masculine (and feels less fully alive or "passionate" about life) as a result. NOT giving a bow then may not matter much to the man, because they are cheap to come by - a piece of cloth. Not giving one doesn't lower his status. So why not forget about it?To the woman's hard-wired instincts, it is not rank, but BELONGING and "being normal" that is passionately held dear at the reflex level. To not receive a gold cloth bow to her has nothing to do with the financial cost, but the embarrassment of being "excluded" from the cultural norm of women who DO have one. The woman would then feel less feminine, less attractive and less attracted by the oversight by the man."

It speaks to me, I think this is how I would feel to an extent without a collar.....though that really does not explain what it actually means to me.

i really like this passage, and agree wholeheartedly.

thank you for shareing

andi

_____________________________

"Steel Warm-up" was created at the Green Door in Las Vegas with Merc and Beth and WyldHrt, I don't see what the big deal is it's was just a Saturday night ... Sunday Morning to me!

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 7

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:22:14 PM

Elipsis

Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline

This answer is somewhat generic, but imo symbols only have the importance that we as individuals ascribe to them.

I tend to invent my own symbols rather than put any stock in the ones that are commonly socially accepted. I'm not big on marriage meaning much of anything... I'd probably never care about a ring as any sort of symbol... but I've once gotten sentimental over a toothbrush... which to me was far more personal.

A collar is probably closer to a personal symbol than an arbitrary one, but if I felt like one was required as a symbol it would cease to be personal and cease to mean anything. I think that's what it is for me... symbols have to be personal and unique... things that are socially mandated such as wedding rings are less important to me. Collars would be somewhere in the middle.

< Message edited by Elipsis -- 9/22/2009 6:23:17 PM >

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 8

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:25:54 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

It sets your mind in a specific pattern, submissiveness.

The neck controls the head, which controls the mind, which controls the thoughts.

It also prevents us from escaping, I hear.

While a wedding ring is symbolic and a collar is symbolic a collar also has a use.

-----

Ya know this reminds me of me wearing my collar out and about in public in PA. My Former Mistress and I were eating at some place (i believe ci-ci's) when this old gent and his wifey were siting across from us.

"Why are you wearing that stupid thing around your neck?" The gent scoffed.
I paused, looked at the gentleman's ringed finger and replied
"Why are you wearing that gold band around your finger? Who is who's bitch?"

His wife laughed, as did I. The gentleman and my Former Mistress did not think it was funny.

It was an off the cuff remark. I try to be full of politeness but I need reminded....

anywho....

---------
Good Thread. I am curious to see how it evolves.

:D

*applause*

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to Sunnyfey)

Post #: 9

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:33:31 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

~~didnt read above post~~
to me its the "ownership". the commitment, etc. and its also a great way to keep trolls trying to get into your pants.

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to pyroaquatic)

Post #: 10

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:54:00 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

They look cool, and, to a submissive, they feel good. Nice and constricting around an area of your body that's very vulnerable. They can remind you of how easily your breathing can be restricted, and that may remind you that even your breath is not your own. I've experienced them as substitute hands. Collars belittle you, because pet animals wear them too. They put you on the level of the family dog or cat. A leash attaches easily to them, by which you can be dragged around, by your neck. (try doing that with a wedding ring--assuming you can manage it, it just isn't the same. Being dragged around by a septum ring is fun, though. ;0 ). Collars can be locked on or hitched to something, like a pole, and that restricts the submissive's movment. They've been used for thousands of years to indicate ownership and human property. After all that time it's not surprising they're imbued with meaning.

And sure, sometimes they are misused or overused by people who mistake the symbol for the reality, but that is true about virtually anything.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 11

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 6:56:28 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It's a talisman, a symbol that you imbue with meaning. So I can reach up and play with the pendant on it when he's not here and I need some security.

But the person who kept asking you was being deliberately rude. I think I would have looked at him and said "If I have to explain it, you won't ever understand".

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 12

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:02:03 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

LOL did anyone notice the contrast of my post (sub) and Caring"s (Dom) too funny! yes to us it about all that too, but notice what i said, then notice what He said

ok you guys get the picture

hahhahhaahahaa

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:03:38 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

The person asked why a symbol was important, if the commitment was already made. That one I didn't have an answer for either.

what do you all think?

I think they pretty much nailed it.

Nothing wrong with a symbol, but that isn't the guts of the thing. It's not where the value lies.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 14

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:07:04 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

umm if the damn thing is pure gold it does!!!! JK no i think its to show the rest the commitment. a having a state flag flying around. Ownership. for some its the gift, for some its the giving.

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 15

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:08:12 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

Interesting. This is the most interesting thread to Me. Collars are so important to the submissive who wants a physical symbol and is not quite ready for hot iron slave branding. They're important to the Dom who wants to physically mark his territory and also please his girl and also select one or more that "fits" his girl and makes her even more dark, mysterious and alluring to Him (and others for bragging rights with the guys). I enjoy it when men look at tam in her collar and "fuck me" heels and clearly wish they were Me but don't tell tam I said so because she's liable to get a head too big for her collar.

I'd enjoy hearing about what collar is your favorite, anyone.

Thanks,
Arturas, the Dom Bastard.

this entry was corrected to keep the Harbrace carrying posters happy.

< Message edited by Arturas -- 9/22/2009 7:15:28 PM >

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 16

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:12:19 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Tricky question this; Hmmmm Could it be so they can be chained by the collar to the:

Kitchen Sink?
Kitchen Table Leg?
To the Dunny?

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Arturas)

Post #: 17

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:13:37 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

fuck ive been found and yes Sir IronBear they could and im now thinking that is where i could land....

edited to add or replace the "fuck ive been found" with

Hi Master i miss You!!!!! and smiles JK!

(sleep deprivation=not so good)

< Message edited by tammystarm -- 9/22/2009 7:46:18 PM >

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 18

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:21:00 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

Thanks for the questions.

I don't do bondage with the neck but I am looking for a nice silver chain, elegant chain in case I get the urge to drag tam around by the collar. I've not gotten that urge but can see it happening at the club...better to use a silver chain highlighted leather corset attached to her collar for a hot...excuse me...a hawt look even in the subdued lighting of a club scene...yes.

Arturas

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 19

RE: Why are collars important to a slave? - 9/22/2009 7:23:12 PM

tammystarm

Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline

and the whole branding thing, not all Doms are gonna see my ass! they dont read the boards. LOL

ok ok im going to bed now....

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~

(in reply to tammystarm)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Why are collars important to a slave?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094