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Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 7:53:33 PM

sodsta

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

I was reading the Tickle Torture thread earlier and came across this comment by Lockit:

quote:

I have yet to find a submissive male that didn't want to be the life of a domina party, surrounded by women focused only on him and what they might do to him.

Now, while I'm sure this is true for a lot (if not most) submissive men - myself included from time to time - I find it hard to believe that it is specific only to submissive males. Or even only to submissives. I think being the centre of attention in a sexual setting like that is a very common fantasy that most likely springs from human beings' desire for affirmation and the desire to feel... well... desired.

As Lockit says, it's not at all uncommon for sub guys to fantasise about being dominated or tortured by a group of Dom/mes, but I can imagine that actually *being* one of the many Dom/mes would not be nearly as fun or exciting. In that scenario, the sub is getting all the enjoyment and the Dom/mes would be more or less catering to the submissive's needs. Nobody really wants to be just "one of many", or a nameless face in a crowd.

So I wondered if this "being the centre of attention" fantasy was just as common among people *other* than male subs. Do Dom/mes ever have fantasies about being served by many subs at the same time? Do you like the idea of having lots of subs vying for your attention and affection? Or of having so many subs that you can pick and choose?

And to female submissives, too. Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

Just as a bit of personal input, I *like* feeling special in my fantasies; the idea of being one of many subs serving one Dominant wouldn't appeal to me at all, so being the centre of attention is a very obvious and overt way of experiencing that, uh... special-ness...

Anyway. I'd love to hear you opinions. :)

-- Kye

< Message edited by sodsta -- 9/22/2009 8:03:40 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:08:06 PM

mbes

Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline

Great point!
Yes, I'll admit to having had fantasies of that nature (not dominance, but sex; sex is very tied in to dominance for me, so I'm not sure how much that distinction means). While they don't dominate my fantasyworld, so to speak, I've enjoyed every minute of them when they've popped up!

I can't recall them ever revolving solely around one particular act.
And yes, it is at least in part about the "special-ness".
Female property, if that helps your survey results.

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 2

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:21:40 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

Never. Does nothing at all for me. I'm usually the one who tries to run away from attention. I don't like to stand out in a crowd, I don't like a lot of people fawning over me. I find it terribly uncomfortable when I have a lot of people around me who are praising me, cheering me on, etc..

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 3

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:31:00 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

And to female submissives, too. Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

of course. but i love objectification and debasement a great deal. i just have the dumb luck of meeting men that don't enjoy sharing their toys with the other boys in the sandbox.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 4

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:42:31 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

Oh... I'd enjoy it. And I don't have any shame in admitting it. I thrive on attention and I love to ham it up. It's just my nature. So the idea of a whole bunch of dominants all giving me their attention at once... Yeah, it's a pretty nice little scene in my head. Probably won't ever happen but hey... I can dream and it gives me something to think about in the shower!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 5

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:46:33 PM

BeIgnited

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline

Female submissive here.

Admittedly, I'm a closeted attention whore. Gangbang fantasies, fantasies in which I'm shared and passed around like a party favor, where I'm constricted in the center of a crowded room with people poking, prodding, and groping? Yup. I've got them all. I recognize that they may make me 'un-subly', but that's the nature of fantasies. They are selfish. I don't masturbate to thoughts of doing my Dom's laundry, and while I'm sure there are some people out there who do, I would venture to guess that they are a minority.

But--and this is a rather big But--I recognize that these fantasies are selfish. I think this is where the male submissives people complain about (which are certainly only a segment of the msub populace) get tripped up: the stereotypical msub MO seems to be to present these 'selfish' fantasies to a woman (usually one they hardly know) as a reward for the woman in and of itself. They seem to think that a woman should be flattered that he's offering to play dress up for her, or give over his virgin ass. I've got dozens of these offers in my Cmail box, and I've never even listed as a switch. This course of action indicates a lack of awareness of the nature of their fantasies, and a willful ignorance of what women want.

Which isn't to say that a sub, male or female, shouldn't share their fantasies, but it's all in the approach. You find someone whose interests gel with your own--not by asking if they'll do you and hoping for an affirmative answer, but by discussing likes and dislikes in a more neutral way (and on CM, by paying attention to the information a person has already provided in their profile). You broach these fantasies once some sort of dialogue has already been established, and without expectation of immediate gratification (I think this applies to both sides of the slash, really).

(in reply to mbes)

Post #: 6

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 8:55:39 PM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

I like both sides of this fantasy. I would love to be tortured and f*&ked by many Dominants. Gang bang scenes really intrigue me. My Master does not have the desire to be served by multiple slaves. But if he did, it would please me to see him happy, surrounded by so many pretty things, and I would love to be one of those things.

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 9/22/2009 8:57:15 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 7

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 9:06:32 PM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

BeIgnited,

Forgive me I am pretty new to this. Why would the desire to be passed around Like a party favor make you "un-subly?"

My Master sees a scene like this as the culmination of my training. A coming-out party of sorts, where all can see what an obedient and willing sex slave he has molded. My Master likes the idea of showing me off and sharing me. As his possession, he can lend me to whomever he wants and he gets pride out of it if they enjoy me. To him, it would be un-subly of me if I didn't desire this "gang bang" type of scene. I guess its just different styles and desires.

I'm not trying to argue one way or another, I am just new and curious. I genuinely want to know more about your opinion on the subject.

(in reply to BeIgnited)

Post #: 8

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 9:10:30 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

however i will admit the men i know seem to be perfectly fine bringing other women in. i did have this conversation the other day with someone and he said in theory it was very hot. but i suppose the idea of me getting off with other people just wouldn't gel. maybe if it was truly humiliating and i wouldn't enjoy it the option would be there.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Hierodule)

Post #: 9

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 10:07:54 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

Hierodule, I think that BeIgnited MIGHT have been getting at the idea that this is "unsubly" because it is HER selfish fantasy, not necessarily a wish or desire of her Master's. It's not so much any action which is or isn't submissive or Dominant, it's the motivation driving the action. For eg, I might choose to suck My sub's cock. Now some would oooh and ahhh over that and say that's a submissive thing to do. I disagree ... if it's MY choice to suck it because I want to taste it and he doesn't really have any say in the matter (ie he's not been begging for Me to do it AND he's not saying "oh no Ma'am please don't!") then it's as Dommly an act as any other in My book!

As to the OP, I think many people do want to feel special, and one way of achieving that for some people is to be the centre of attention. And yes, both as femme sub and femme Domme I do have some fantasies about the multiple men thing and they certainly get Me more excited than thinking about the laundry too LOL! However, whether I'd enjoy them as much in real life is a moot point. I reckon I'd enjoy 2 sub boys at once and no more, and i'm really not sure about how many men i'd actually enjoy serving at once. Not really Master's thing anyway so not likely to happen.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 10

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 10:32:37 PM

Eivarden

Posts: 101
Joined: 4/15/2009
Status: offline

I love to feel wanted, and sought after (Not going to happen) but i would rather it wasn't with multiple people.

No real reason comes to mind, but when I'm in submissive mode, I get more shy/embarrassed, and being in a situation with multiple women, just seems embarrassing.

But yes, this applies to both genders, and both roles, or lack of roles. There will always be at least one from each.

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 11

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/22/2009 10:36:35 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

From the dom side ... no. I'm monogamous even in my fantasies. I don't really have any needs, wants, or desires that are not already fulfilled by Carol.

Carol's fantasies do sometimes involve more than one partner, but they are faceless strangers in her fantasies providing sensation. There's no surrounding "involvement" with them other than "more sensation". So for her, I think the answer to your question is "kind of".

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 12

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 1:40:22 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

I am totally in the same boat as porcelaine

and as for the faceless strangers... sometimes all of the sudden one is my ugly unsympathetic neighbour or maybe the fat guy at the supermarket or perhaps my new cyber man.... the faceless strangers sometimes all of a sudden put a face on...
i usually put my Husband incharge of the entire fantasy as He would have to be as this thing would ever be realized... i should be so lucky...

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 13

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 1:47:23 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

not at all. I am strictly one-on-one

_____________________________

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(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 14

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 3:58:23 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Not me. I would not enjoy that at all. But when in a good relationship I don't even have other men come across my sexual radar. I don't see attractive men on the street and wonder what he would be like in bed. So for me this would be horrible, to be forced to have sex with men I neither knew nor desired.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 15

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 4:41:57 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

.........They are ALL about me. I have no room in MY fantasies for other people's thoughts and feelings. They don't spring from a desire to be *special* though...........they are just BOUND to be about ME because it's my mind that's creating them.

Mine are usually very depraved and not at all about being desired and special ..........in fact , the opposite. I've no idea why but perhaps it's because I'm very central to a lot of people's lives and get an *overdose* of being *special in real life.

agirl

(in reply to sodsta)

Post #: 16

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 4:58:52 AM

oceanwyndsLoves

Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline

No I do not have this fantasy nor would it make me feel special to experience it. When Sir told me i am not to be shared, i breathed a sign of relief. Because of my past history in my youth this type of 'fantasy' became a reality and left a scar very very deep.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 17

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 5:24:43 AM

looking4princess

Posts: 165
Joined: 4/9/2008
Status: offline

Not for me either. As a submale, i have been to parties and public play clubs with slave auctions and sharing and have found it most uncomfortable. Don't even fantasize about multiple domme scenarios. i definately prefer one to one intimacy.

_____________________________

vincent....

Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance? I ask you.

(in reply to oceanwyndsLoves)

Post #: 18

RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 5:30:24 AM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I am with Leadership527 on this one. Even in my fantasies I am mainly monogamous. Even for the brief stint of ply when I did have 2 boys they never served together. I dont want to have a bunch of boys or girls sitting around trying to serve when they see a window of oppertunity. I want one boy serving as much and as often as he can so that I can return the affection and attention. Multiples to me only mean there are some who are going to get the short end of the stick when it comes to attention and I hate that

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to looking4princess)

Post #: 19

RE: Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 5:52:25 AM

BeIgnited

Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

BeIgnited,

Forgive me I am pretty new to this. Why would the desire to be passed around Like a party favor make you "un-subly?"

My Master sees a scene like this as the culmination of my training. A coming-out party of sorts, where all can see what an obedient and willing sex slave he has molded. My Master likes the idea of showing me off and sharing me. As his possession, he can lend me to whomever he wants and he gets pride out of it if they enjoy me. To him, it would be un-subly of me if I didn't desire this "gang bang" type of scene. I guess its just different styles and desires.

I'm not trying to argue one way or another, I am just new and curious. I genuinely want to know more about your opinion on the subject.

Hi,

MaamJay got it mostly right. My D is not interested in sharing, so those fantasies are just for me. Besides which, it's not really about the other guys doing the poking and prodding, how good a show I'm putting on, or how pleasing my submission in that scenario might be to someone else, it's that they're paying attention to me.

Me saying I was 'un-subly' was really a bit of self-deprecating humor. I know I'm no less submissive for having fantasies like this even if I were to desire to act them out in real life. It's just that these fantasies by themselves, focusesd as they are on myself and my own sexual gratification, don't make me particularly submisssive.

(in reply to Hierodule)

Post #: 20

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