RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special.

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 6:18:08 AM

Acer49

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I was reading the Tickle Torture thread earlier and came across this comment by Lockit:

quote:

I have yet to find a submissive male that didn't want to be the life of a domina party, surrounded by women focused only on him and what they might do to him.

Now, while I'm sure this is true for a lot (if not most) submissive men - myself included from time to time - I find it hard to believe that it is specific only to submissive males. Or even only to submissives. I think being the centre of attention in a sexual setting like that is a very common fantasy that most likely springs from human beings' desire for affirmation and the desire to feel... well... desired.

As Lockit says, it's not at all uncommon for sub guys to fantasise about being dominated or tortured by a group of Dom/mes, but I can imagine that actually *being* one of the many Dom/mes would not be nearly as fun or exciting. In that scenario, the sub is getting all the enjoyment and the Dom/mes would be more or less catering to the submissive's needs. Nobody really wants to be just "one of many", or a nameless face in a crowd.

So I wondered if this "being the centre of attention" fantasy was just as common among people *other* than male subs. Do Dom/mes ever have fantasies about being served by many subs at the same time? Do you like the idea of having lots of subs vying for your attention and affection? Or of having so many subs that you can pick and choose?

And to female submissives, too. Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

Just as a bit of personal input, I *like* feeling special in my fantasies; the idea of being one of many subs serving one Dominant wouldn't appeal to me at all, so being the centre of attention is a very obvious and overt way of experiencing that, uh... special-ness...

Anyway. I'd love to hear you opinions. :)

-- Kye

quote:

it's not at all uncommon for sub guys to fantasise about being dominated or tortured by a group of Dom/mes, but I can imagine that actually *being* one of the many Dom/mes would not be nearly as fun or exciting. In that scenario, the sub is getting all the enjoyment and the Dom/mes would be more or less catering to the submissive's needs. Nobody really wants to be just "one of many", or a nameless face in a crowd.

First, I would caution the OP against presenting personal opinions as proven facts without having research data to validate the statement. There are some who do not like nor appreciate being grouped in with the masses. Some people like to be thought of as an individual.

it's not at all uncommon for sub guys to fantasies about being dominated or tortured by a group of Dom/mes, but I can imagine that actually *being* one of the many Dom/mes would not be nearly as fun or exciting. In that scenario, the sub is getting all the enjoyment and the Dom/mes would be more or less catering to the sub missive’s needs. Nobody really wants to be just "one of many", or a nameless face in a crowd.

I am afraid if I heard a dominant refer to themselves as being nothing more than “one of the many” or “a nameless face in the crowd” I would have to conclude that they may be lacking in confidence and were having some self esteem and self worth issues I would also like to remind the individual who believes that it is “not as much fun or exciting” that yes the sub is the center of attention but it is the dominant that is still in control and who will still determine how much pleasure/pain the submissive may receive.

I would be remiss not to remind the dominant that despite what they were lead to believe, it is not, nor will it ever be, “All about you” if it their intent to ever have a successful relationship with anyone. While it is a reasonable expectation that a dominant will receive the major portion of pleasure, it speaks well of a dominant who does take the needs of their submissive into account. I do not feel that they are somehow lacking as a dominant just because every once in a while, they “indulge” the submissive. They may find it actually makes them feel good knowing they are the reason for why the submissive is smiling.

As far as someone being the center of attention, some will enjoy it, while others may find it annoying and consider it somewhat smothering.

I do not waste time with fantasies as a fantasy is nothing more than a reality that has simply not happened yet. To waste time thinking about having six or twelve slaves sitting at my feet is counter productive as it is not going to happen so why waste the time and energy.

While the OP is certainly able to entertain or post any thoughts he chooses. This post has somewhat more a sence of reality than what I have read as of late. I find it somewhat confusing as to why some of the others who are around the OP's age, think and post about things that have very little chance of coming to pass and if they did, their value is only limited being nothing more than useless trivia

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 6:41:30 AM

Missokyst

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As a female sub I can tell you I have never had the desire to be the center of attention among a group of dominants. I prefer one on one, so I can focus myself. When I was an entertainer I enjoyed being up admired by a crowd of men but I tried to focus on each one of them at a time so I could dedicate my dance to them alone.
And as a group leader who also has to be the first contact from both doms and subs, I will agree with Lockit. Male subs overwhelmingly have that fantasy to be the center of attention of a pack of dominants that just want to "do them". I rarely hear that same fantasy from female subs. In my 8 yrs of running groups I probably have only met 1 female sub who voices that same wish. Notice that I say "voices"... because where males tend to jump right in with their fantasies and desires with me .. and trust me on this, it is with the intent I will get turned on enough to do them.., females more often than not keep their fantasies to themselves until they find someone they trust enough to share them with.
I don't discuss my "do me's" with anyone I am not playing with

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 9/23/2009 6:50:03 AM >

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 7:52:35 AM

AnimusRex

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I was reading the Tickle Torture thread earlier and came across this comment by Lockit:

quote:

I have yet to find a submissive male that didn't want to be the life of a domina party, surrounded by women focused only on him and what they might do to him.

Ever read the Story of O? The submissive is in fact the center of attention, the one for whom all the characters pine for, obsess over. She gets loads of attention and sexual pleasure, while the Masters, strangely, seem to be unnaturally monogamous, wishing for her only.

Our essential nature, Dom and sub is to wish to be not just a part of the group, but a special, priviledged part.

Now please read my profile and journal and be thrilled at the wonder and singular magnificence that is Me.

< Message edited by AnimusRex -- 9/23/2009 7:54:57 AM >

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RE: Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 8:12:48 AM

daddysprop247

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now my response to this may sound confusing but here goes...i have a great desire for attention from my Master. not fawning over type of attention, just mere acknowledgment of my presence and taking some pleasure in that. outside of that however, i loathe attention. in public settings i wish to just blend into the walls and furniture, and hope no one even realizes i was there. i loathe being stared at, or inspected, or poked prodded and examined. it's all nightmarish for me, due to my fairly low self-esteem and crippling social anxiety.

but the fantasy mentioned in the OP...i do have many fantasies of a similar nature, where i am taken and used aggressively by multiple men at a time. these men need not be Dominants, but simply forceful and hungry. however my fantasies do not revolve around receiving any personal attention from these men or even any physical pleasure whatsoever. in fact quite the opposite, it is the objectification of it that drives my fantasies, of being nothing more than a series of holes, and no one noticing if i am in pain or emotionally suffering. therefore, i view these fantasies as very submissive, even dangerously submissive.

now of course in my case i have experienced this kind of thing before, as my Master is one who likes to share his property and have it used thoroughly. He would not hesitate to say that my sexual pleasure or emotional state was not something he cared about in such moments either.

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RE: Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 8:39:42 AM

worthlesstrash

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I have the fantasy of being desired by many men at once...being taken one after the other...all of my holes filled..aggressive, hot..all of that.

Now the reality..I don't think I could do it, or if I did..I would feel like dooky afterward. It's a good one to masturbate to, but that's about it.

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 2:10:59 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

I do not waste time with fantasies as a fantasy is nothing more than a reality that has simply not happened yet. To waste time thinking about having six or twelve slaves sitting at my feet is counter productive as it is not going to happen so why waste the time and energy.

While the OP is certainly able to entertain or post any thoughts he chooses. This post has somewhat more a sence of reality than what I have read as of late. I find it somewhat confusing as to why some of the others who are around the OP's age, think and post about things that have very little chance of coming to pass and if they did, their value is only limited being nothing more than useless trivia

Fantasies are just that, fantasy.

I've never thought that anything I've fantasized about needed to have any *purpose*. Once it's a reality, it's no longer a fantasy, surely?

The pleasure of a *fantasy* for me is that it IS a fantasy........It's NOT reality; all the tastes,smells, feelings and physical aspects are all like a cinema-reel.....and I dont have the bother of itching, soreness and weeping after a brand and ALL of those real life things.

*Fantasy*, for me, is a world of personal mental imagination and freedom.........not something waiting to be turned into reality.

For me , there's a difference between what I fantasize about and what I hope, and maybe wish, to happen in real life. Lots of things that I've explored in my *fantasy world* HAVE come about with my owner......they then stop being part of my imaginings. The reality of the experience intrudes upon the *fantasy*.

For me , it's always been about a free, wild and unfettered imagination and the enjoyment of it as a totally separate thing from real life.

agirl

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/23/2009 7:40:35 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta
And to female submissives, too. Do you have a similar fantasy about being dominated/tortured/taken by multiple Dom/mes at the same time?

I am not happily monogamous. I desire various partners and if that involves several of them at one time, that's cool too. I can't say that I've ever really fantasized about multiples doms/tops but I have fantasized about (and actually had on more than one occasion) sex with multiple partners, both male and female. It was always a wonderful thing and in my fantasies it continues to be.

There is something very arousing and exciting about being the only woman in the mix pleasing several greedy men. I've never been disappointed and can't imagine that I ever would be. Master initially did not appear to be into doing any sharing but His feelings have changed over time. He has genuinely seen that, unlike many folks, esp. of the female gender, I am truly able to separate the act of sex from the feeling of attachment and love. Therefore, fucking someone isn't necessarily anything that bonding

Though I was willing to become and remain monogamous (insofar as having no other men goes) to please Master, I am very pleasantly surprised that He has begun to desire otherwise. Nothing personal, but I love pleasing men that way and to have Him watching and wanting that.....WOW!

luci

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RE: Feeling Special. - 9/24/2009 3:50:03 AM

Hierodule

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Oh I see. I guess I'm lucky my Master's fantasy and mine overlap in this area.

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/24/2009 4:45:35 AM

ranja

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Oh luci, lucky you... so too there might be hope for me beyond cyber....

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/24/2009 7:56:14 AM

Andalusite

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I'm personally not into large groups, on either side of the whip. I've been co-topped by 2 or 3 people, though, and I *did* feel like the center of attention.

I've also co-topped with 1 or 2 people, and certainly didn't feel lost in the crowd - the interaction with the other people was very cool.

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RE: Fantasies and Feeling Special. - 9/24/2009 7:58:03 AM

slaveluci

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Yes, there very well may be.

It's strange because being involved with multiple partners at once had been something I've done quite a few times over the years. I'm very sexual and lots of people, both male and female, interest me. I've never had lots of hangups and I often found myself indulging, so to speak.

When Master and I met here on CM, I was open about all this and my interest in continuing to do it. He was all for me being with other females (not dominant ones) but no other men. He stated that unequivocably. I made the choice that I preferred to be His over continuing those types of activities. Now that we've been together over three years, time has changed His feelings on the issue.

I have never brought it up for discussion or let on to Him in anyway that I was missing it or needing it and that He needed to reconsider. Within the last year, He began to occasionally mention that He was beginning to think about me being shared with other men and/or dominant females. I was shocked! I never thought He'd feel that way and I sure never tried to convince Him to. It just came as a natural progression of our relationship, I suppose.

I don't think He was ever insecure. It's just that the thought of sharing just did not appeal to Him. It didn't turn Him on. As time has passed, something - I'm not sure exactly what - changed for Him and now He mentions it quite often. He has even taken steps to make it a reality. I'd be fine living out the rest of our relationship without it but I'm not going to deny it excites me that He's now allowing it and even seeking it out. I used to love it when I was on my own and the thought of Him orchestrating it, watching and participating just kicks it up a couple more notches!

I don't know what finally flipped that switch but something did and I'm glad. It can happen, ranja

luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 9/24/2009 7:59:50 AM >

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