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Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:08:20 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I prefer that you all love me, but , to tolerate is good enough .Just don't be HATE'N...LOL... Question is?

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

I dunno...I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit confused....I need my Master Pills!

Thanks for allowing me the rant, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

Post #: 1

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:10:37 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I call to the carpet, with "I" statements.

"I"m very confused when you do this and that, it makes me very confused about what you really want, can you try and explain?"

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 2

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:19:17 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

Could be that she's confused as well.

Sit down and talk with her. Set up some hard boundaries that you both agree on.. and work from there?

Not really sure what the "confusion" is in particular.. so I'm just talking out of my ass right now.

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 3

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:29:53 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

"I"m very confused when you do this and that, it makes me very confused about what you really want, can you try and explain?"

Yes L.A. I will try to explain.
Fastlane sits and puts his head in his hands and ponders....and ponders..and ponders....NO,

I can't explain.

I guess I am just seeing how much patience anyone else would have when they were confused about where a relationship may be heading.....or not heading?

I think I have answered my own question.

Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 4

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:34:28 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

quote:

"I"m very confused when you do this and that, it makes me very confused about what you really want, can you try and explain?"

Yes L.A. I will try to explain.
Fastlane sits and puts his head in his hands and ponders....and ponders..and ponders....NO,

I can't explain.

I guess I am just seeing how much patience anyone else would have when they were confused about where a relationship may be heading.....or not heading?

I think I have answered my own question.

Kevin

Uh oh.. I think we're heading for a tunnel. Everyone to your seats, and put on your seatbelts!

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 5

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:35:19 PM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

From what you've said this isn't just happened today, this is something you've already been tollerating for a while?

Personaly I'd call her on it, you are obviously not comfortable with the behaviour so... your a Dom, challenge it.... else you need to look at the relationship and decide wether it is or is going to be a D/s relationship.

Explain the actions that are causing mixed signals, listen to what she has to say, decide what is needing done about it (Taking what she said into consideration but remembering that it is YOU who has to make the decision if this IS a D/s relationship) then enforce it.

There is just as much a risk of things going wrong by not doing something as there is from acting on it. What you've said there doesn't give any indication if she is pushing bounderys because she needs you to be more of a Dom or if she is questioning just how sub she is. You need to talk these things over with her and find out.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 6

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:49:35 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Hi, was it all that long ago that you were in the middle of some terribly dramatic messy relationship type thingy???

I am confused as to why you are in another so quickly. Not judging, just confused.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 7

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 1:52:11 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
I guess I am just seeing how much patience anyone else would have when they were confused about where a relationship may be heading.....or not heading?

I think I have answered my own question.

Kevin

My question was meant to be an example of how you should approach the other person. YOU are the confused person here. Blaming the other person isn't helpful. By taking ownership of your feelings, not blaming the other person for them AND giving them an opportunity to help you clarify- it provides good communication while avoiding unnecessarily hurt feelings as much as possible.

Patience and work and time is a key necessity for any relationship to work in the long term.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 8

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 2:15:28 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Question is?

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

I dunno...I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit confused....I need my Master Pills!

Thanks for allowing me the rant, Kevin

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!! Haul her ass to the carpet and ask "Whats going on? Do you really want something with me or not? Where is this going and what happened to all my underwear?!?" Be pro-active. Not re-active. You know as well as I do that there are more out there. Too many for you to be hung up on one that's indecisive about whether she want in your pool or not. Now grab your helmet and whip and take that hill!

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 9

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 2:24:38 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

quote:

"I"m very confused when you do this and that, it makes me very confused about what you really want, can you try and explain?"

Yes L.A. I will try to explain.
Fastlane sits and puts his head in his hands and ponders....and ponders..and ponders....NO,

I can't explain.

I guess I am just seeing how much patience anyone else would have when they were confused about where a relationship may be heading.....or not heading?

I think I have answered my own question.

Kevin

and if you reach for the Jack tonite, stay off the computer.

It is never easy when the one we want does not want us, I am sure we all have been there at one time or another--but life has many doors, when one closes another opens--all for a reason--it does not make it easy, but it must be what it must be---life goes on, you need to decide to or continue to wait--but only You know that answer.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 3/1/2006 2:29:53 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 10

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 3:42:41 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

RavenMuse...always insightful..thanks
YourMistress..."No", that was someone else? well if it wasn't....SO?
Mistress H...you know how I feel about you......Lucky Boy!
L.A. always good advice and post...I think I confuse myself more than others confuse me, but I still love to hear your opionions.

Helmet on...Jack, locked up...fastlane picks up the phone and dials....I'll get an answer!
pedals fall as the telephone rings.."she loves me, she loves me not!"

"She loves me!"

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 11

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 4:15:07 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Sit down and have a good long face-face if you can agree great if not then part on good terms

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 12

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 4:28:05 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Question is?

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

I dunno...I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit confused....I need my Master Pills!

Thanks for allowing me the rant, Kevin

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!! Haul her ass to the carpet and ask "Whats going on? Do you really want something with me or not? Where is this going and what happened to all my underwear?!?" Be pro-active. Not re-active. You know as well as I do that there are more out there. Too many for you to be hung up on one that's indecisive about whether she want in your pool or not. Now grab your helmet and whip and take that hill!

* Agrees

I tend to "call a submissive on something" immediately. The longer you display indecisiveness, the more confused the relations will become. In my experience, submissive females often want, respect and enjoy a dominant male who is direct. If you feel she is in the end unsuitable, move on.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 13

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 4:28:54 PM

PenelopePitstop

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

Signals are useless really, because it relies on you having a failsafe ability to interpret them, independent of past experiences, depth of knowledge blah de blah de blah. It's almost a less reliable indicator of what's really going on than text messaging. Damn I hate text messaging.

Go with LA's suggestion: she knows what she's talking about (and I bet is seldom ever wrong about these things).

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 14

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 4:45:50 PM

chercher

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline4

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
Question is?

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

I dunno...I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit confused....I need my Master Pills!

Thanks for allowing me the rant, Kevin

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!! Haul her ass to the carpet and ask "Whats going on? Do you really want something with me or not? Where is this going and what happened to all my underwear?!?" Be pro-active. Not re-active. You know as well as I do that there are more out there. Too many for you to be hung up on one that's indecisive about whether she want in your pool or not. Now grab your helmet and whip and take that hill!

Apologies all round,

I know I have no business on this thread. I sound and feel a lot like the submissive described in the original post. I am not quite sure who I am or what I want...because my experience is so limited. I can absolutely say that - understanding that it may be easier said than done...Mr D's response got my attention, and my longing.

Be well,

CherCher

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 15

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 5:06:01 PM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!!

OMG that was too funny!

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 16

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 5:24:11 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!!

OMG that was too funny!

Yeah I have to admit I don't always agree with Mr D but THIS was a scream.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 17

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 5:25:22 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: nonuts4thshoney

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

My god man!! You need to reach down, grab your twig and giggle berries and sound off like you got a pair!!

OMG that was too funny!

Yeah I have to admit I don't always agree with Mr D but THIS was a scream.

My thoughts exactly MH.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 18

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 8:38:18 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

How do you deal with a submissive that is giving you mixed signals? Tolerate her, call her on the carpet, dump her ass and move on, give her alternatives, set ground rules...become totally Dominant and put the potential relationship at risk because you demand too much, be patient...and wait and wait and wait, or just say hell with women/subs/potential collars and lifelong partners...new day, new lap dance, new laptop computer, new expectations?

Call her on it. She won't respect you if you don't. And if she's unwilling or unable to behave as you expect her to, move on. Life's too short to waste it on guessing games.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich

(in reply to fastlane)

Post #: 19

RE: Love me, hate me. or Tolerate me - 3/1/2006 9:30:54 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chercher
Apologies all round,

I know I have no business on this thread. I sound and feel a lot like the submissive described in the original post. I am not quite sure who I am or what I want...because my experience is so limited. I can absolutely say that - understanding that it may be easier said than done...Mr D's response got my attention, and my longing.

Be well,

CherCher

It was the part about grabbing his helmet and whip that got you didn't it? It gets everyone.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to chercher)

Post #: 20

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