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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

if you lose him to your insecurities simply by telling him what they are, you have lost nothing.

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ORIGINAL: bleedingluv

i am curious as to why my daddy/dom would need to chat with other subs, even after committing totally to me? this is not a whine ..i just need to understand

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

if you lose him to your insecurities simply by telling him what they are, you have lost nothing.

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ORIGINAL: mnottertail

DavanKael,

are you telling me the brady bunch wasn't poly? *thumbing thru the phone book looking for childhood trauma therapists*

Ron

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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

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ORIGINAL: bleedingluv

As always ...afraid to ask...i dont want to lose him to my insecurities

if you lose him to your insecurities simply by telling him what they are, you have lost nothing.

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always great advice, have no one else in my life that i can discuss these issues with

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The thing I have learned is that if he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong, he isn't. It doesn't matter how much talking you do, how much begging to stop, he will continue doing what he does. I know that for myself, I have had to learn when to make a big deal out of things and when not to.

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ORIGINAL: worthlesstrash

I think that it was Agirl that said something about you possibly have different ideas about faithful than your dom.

I have that with M and we are even married. He likes to talk to other women, he has more women friends than I do, and he doesn't see anything wrong with it. He finds new women on here and chats them up, the perv even asks for nudie pics once in awhile just for the heck of it (though he never gets them..haha).

Now, to me..this is cheating. To him as long as he isn't having sex (oral and otherwise) with them, he is doing nothing wrong.

Now..which one of us is right?

We both are. We just have different ideas of what constitutes stepping out. I believe that emotional cheating is just as dangerous as any other. He doesn't consider it emotional cheating because in his world he doesn't plan on ever doing anything with them.

The thing I have learned is that if he doesn't think he is doing anything wrong, he isn't. It doesn't matter how much talking you do, how much begging to stop, he will continue doing what he does. I know that for myself, I have had to learn when to make a big deal out of things and when not to. If he is just saying hi to someone, talking, etc..I will just keep my mouth shut. Now, when it turns into talking to one of his friends online for 3 or more hrs a night when I am sitting there by myself, then we have to talk about it.

Since I have been open with him, he is getting better about things. I just had to learn to pick my battles and to not let my insecurity that he is always trying to replace me rear it's ugly head. When I am going to bring something up, I try to walk away and gather my thoughts. What exactly about this situation is bothering me? Is it just my fear or is there an actual problem?

I have been having that song "hang on loosely, but don't let go" floating through my head a lot as of late. I give my M his space and with that, I believe we are getting closer. It's just both of us learning what's important in our relationship and the work that goes into it.

I don't know how long you have been with him, nor your circumstances. If it's the very beginning and you already know it bothers you this much, I would take a long hard look at it. I would talk to him about it, and if you are that scared to even bring it up...something else needs to be taken care of also.

Best Wishes