abuddingdom
Posts: 158
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline
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If slashyspeak floats your boat then go for it, it's your life & it's your standards, but it makes me nuts just reading it. If I had to write like that I'd go vanilla.....
In my experience , in both the online community and in what I would call real life / real time community there are those submissives who seem to view the addressing of all male D types as Sir asa lifestyle mandate and there are those male D types who expect ( or would like to expect) all S types to call them Sir from the get-go. Then there's S types who use it more informally, such as "night, Sir", "see you nect week , Sir", etc when one of us is leaving an event but most of the time they refer to me by my name. And there's those S types who reserve it only for someone they've grown to respect.When submissives email me, which isnt all that often, some will address me as Sir. A recent example - someone emailed me and said " Thank you for viewing my profile, Sir." I look at it asa formality on their part & I even welcome it but I don't view it as anything more than that. And I sure as hell don't expect it , nor do I question why another submissive who emails me didn't call me Sir. I'm a D type but I often refer to D types as Sir or Ma'am but only if I like and respect them, such as "hello / good night, Ma'am", or " Good to see you, Sir". I give it and take it simply - I repeat, simply -sometimes as courtesy or asa sign of respect but expect it from noone with whom I'm not ina relationship.With one exception - we rarely scene with anyone other than each other but if I am to be scening with someone I have 2 expectations - during the scene they focus as entirely on me and what I'm doing as possible, and they refer to me as Sir when speaking to me
Im my relationship it evolved. My pretty one now calls me Sir the vast majority of the time . She called me Sir when playing from the very first time we played, but for a couple months only when we played. For those first couple months we were seeing each other often but we didn't live together. An emphasis was placed on service and we were feeling each other out and didn't do any real serious negotiating re expectations, protocol, obedience, etc. Baby steps, then slightly bigger steps. When we did move things up a couple steps and began negotiating seriously it felt right to place the expectation that she call me Sir at certain times , those being Good morning Sir, Good night Sir, and at those times I gave her explicit direction( yes Sir, or, I need more details Sir). Over time she started calling me Sir more&more often,and eventually even thinking of me as Sir. Other than what I just mentioned I didn't place title expectations on her, I felt my expectation was enough to start and anything beyond that I'd earn by the way I acted, or not. I recollect noting it as something of a milestone when she started beginning emails or written notes with " Sir : ".
This is one of those things that there's no one, or even twenty "right" ways of doing it. What I just wrote is how it works for me, & how it worked for us......
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RE: The evolution of "Sir" - 
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