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What are your limits - 10/1/2009 8:44:47 AM   
geomease


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/25/2009
Status: offline 		Just wondering to any of the more experienced subs out there, are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.  Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go, what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 8:49:47 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		His girl does not limit herself.  When Darcy instructs me to do something I finds difficult or am uncomfortable with, I do it.
Our relationship is not based on limitations but on compatability.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to geomease)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 8:56:26 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.


yes...HIS.

this slave doesn't limit Him...it is the other way around for us - she abides by His limits...(things He just isn't interested in, doesn't like or really hates - in or out of the bedroom).

quote:

...Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go...


no.
for example, this slave makes a shitty dominant and an even worse lesbian.  He is fully aware of this, but if He wanted her to act as if she was, she would do her best to give an Oscar winning performance, in spite of her lack of dominance or sexual attraction to women.

quote:

...what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?...


He wouldn't ask her to do it...He would require that she beg to be allowed to do it.

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 9:00:39 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yes there are. Once his orders start to affect other people (such as one great thread we discussed if we would vote according to our owners), I don't feel I can simply follow his orders but I have to agree with his command as well as it's on my concious for what I did.

There are plenty of people who don't feel this way or feel that because  their owner would never command them to act out of line without a good reason, they are no limits at all. It's another way of doing things but it's one that me and mine doesn't happen to agree with. Doesn't make it wrong, just not our cuppa.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to geomease)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 9:09:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		My relationship is not based on obedience but on emotional transparency. So he would know whether or not I felt capable of doing such a thing, what result in might have on me and on the relationship. Ordering me to drive all night when I have no night vision is not something I could safely do and promise I would be alive afterwards. If I had to do that then it has to be a life and death situation.

Now if you're talking about hard limits; yes I have some but they don't bother him or he wouldn't be with me, they're unimportant to him.

If he ordered me to have sex with anyone else, the relationship would end. Because I know myself well enough to know that afterwards I wouldn't trust him, I wouldn't want him sexually and I would be filled with rage and hurt. And there is no way that our relationship could continue happily if I distrusted him, if I was turned off by him and if I couldn't even be in the same room with him without wanting to throw something and be sick. So if he wanted to end the relationship that badly, I would end it before without the anger instead of after when I would be worrying about STDs. But he already knows this and I would remind him of it.

I have physical hard limits, no inverted suspension because of my vertigo and hypertension. No face slapping because of eye implants. And I have emotional hard limits; things that would cause panic attacks or destroy the relationship.

Other stuff, I might be willing to do if he could teach me. Telling me to change the oil in the car is something I can't do. I would need help getting it up on the ramps, need to be shown where the plug is, how to do it, where the safety goggles are. And there's still no guarantee I would have enough strength in my hand to turn the thing and get it out so the oil could change.

But if what he wants is going to irreparably harm the relationship, and he doesn't care, then the relationship is already over and I don't need to do it since he's already moved on. I will say that in 8 years he's never been that inattentive to me that he has ever come close to anything like this. We are compatible, neither of us compromises ourselves enormously or we would have regrets. And we don't.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 9:27:55 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

Just wondering to any of the more experienced subs out there, are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.  Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go, what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?


like beth, the only limits to how i would serve my Master are those he places upon himself. and these are ever-shifting and changing, what may have repulsed him 2 years ago may become a daily routine today. in this relationship it is not my business to be concerned with such things, he will inform me if/when he feels it's necessary for me to know.

your last question to me sounds like something very different from the topic of "limits." of course my Master commands me (he would never ask) to do, or to be subjected to, many things which make me uncomfortable. but so what?...life is not about being always comfortable. i do nothing except accept it and bear it as best i can, and hopefully succeed in pleasing him in the process.

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 9:31:27 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I do have hard limits, but they have never come up within a relationship, because I choose people who are of a similar mindset.  If someone wanted to break those limits I would walk away.  Life is too short to have anger, hatred, and mistrust of your own judgement.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 10:07:27 AM   
geomease


Posts: 56
Joined: 9/25/2009
Status: offline 		Hmmm, I'm seeing all different kinds of answers that range across the board.  This tells me that individual preference is left up to the people involved in the relationship, both the dom and sub.  So it seems there really is no wrong or right answer that fits all.  Some people DesFIP seem to have limits that are set to preserve the relationship and emotional connection between her and her master.  Others like Darcy or Merc seem to be willing to do anything and everything that their dom's want regardless of their own feelings.  Though I have a feeling this may be because they are in different types of relationships.  A master/slave relationship seems to be a lot different than a sub/dom relationsip, at least according to the arguements I've read about on this board.

I want to thank you all for your honesty and input, this has all helped to give me a better idea of what kind of relationship I would want and how I would approach it.  I'd love to hear what some other members say on this seeing as it all will help me discoved who I am and what kind of relationship i am seeking.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 10:20:55 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

Just wondering to any of the more experienced subs out there, are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.  Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go, what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?

I don't have limits when in a relationship.


_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 10:59:19 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

Just wondering to any of the more experienced subs out there, are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.  Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go, what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?


he defines the scope of our relations and that extends to what does or does not occur. limits are not a part of my vocabulary because it does not relate to the dynamic at all. absolute servitude requires me to follow his instruction to the letter and to surrender in the manner he requires. it isn't about negotiation, consideration, or wavering either. no fly zones are never on the table. he's aware of what i enjoy, the areas i've had discomfort or been unwilling to explore on my own. if he chooses to exploit these things it is his right to do so. but with this comes a requirement on my part to reveal these things instead of hiding them.

at present there are only two areas that leave me a little uneasy, i don't feel i'm wired for poly or women. though i have done the latter in the past and enjoyed it then. however, if my Owner specifically states this is the direction we're heading and i've entered into a covenant with him, the premise of rejecting his directive would be unfathomable. i would be uncomfortable, and in some respects probably a little fearful as well. i'm certain emotional struggles would surface and a host of things i can't conceive of at present. however, one look is all that is required. my need to please and adhere to him is far greater than my desire to cling to my fears and discomfort. he is my compass.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 11:04:52 AM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have the limits that our significant others impose.  They are his limits as much as they are mine, because we respect our friends and spouses.  Otherwise, I can't imagine that there is anything he would want me to do that I wouldn't.  And please, let us not devolve into death and dismemberment as these threads so frequently do.  Of course there are limits of some kind.  For me, the point is that the things we are willing to do match up, for the most part.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 11:05:59 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		OK, so once again we're back to "no limits" and TPE. My best answer is that there are two answers.

For the engineers among us:
Of course Carol has limits... zillions of them. There are endless things I could command her to do which would result in her removing her collar rather than obeying. Pretty much anything in a SAW movie for instance. The universe doesn't deal in absolutes.

For the poets among us:
Carol has no limits. I give her commands and she obeys them. She obeys them whether or not she likes them or approves of them. And how did scenes from horror movies ever get into a discussion about consensual relationships? Did someone take a drag off the hookah before answering?

There ya go... pick your own position. Both are correct.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 11:25:45 AM   
tammystarm


Posts: 3045
Joined: 7/26/2006
Status: offline 		yanno i had a laundry list of limits before Master. Now i know that the obviously forbidden ones are not an issue and i dont have any. Although my profile still states no tickling and no house work,, somehow He didnt see them as legit.  

_____________________________

~~Queen of duct-tape~~
~~Emotionally delusional~~

~~somebody pour me my nebuitol and hand me my drink~~



(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 1:44:08 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		sorry, Jeff, this slave is going to have to disagree with your lame stereotype:

quote:

Did someone take a drag off the hookah before answering?

 
do you really believe that those who would "take a drag off the hookah" would be more willing to envision ridiculous violent dismemberings from horror flicks than those who don't?

most of the hookah smokers that this slave knows don't lean that way.  they are more apt to envision a big orgy-noise filled peaceful love-in...and leave the paranoid violent freaked out delusions to the tweakers.


< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 10/1/2009 1:46:48 PM >

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 1:47:45 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

sorry, Jeff, this slave is going to have to disagree with your lame stereotype:

quote:

Did someone take a drag off the hookah before answering?

 
do you really believe that those who would "take a drag off the hookah" would be more willing to envision ridiculous violent dismemberings from horror flicks than those who don't?

most of the hookah smokers that this slave knows don't lean that way.  they are more apt to envision a big orgy-noise filled peaceful love-in...and leave the paranoid violent freaked out delusions to the tweakers.



Quite so, thank you, beth.. :)

_____________________________

Delicious and nutritious, does NOT taste like canoli.
~member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's/Mouthy Wenches having been ModSpanked
~10 fluffy points
~RJD RIP xoxo

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 2:04:52 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Theoretically, yes, I guess I have limits.  There are things I couldn't do no matter how hard I tried.  Sorry, but my body just doesn't bend that way anymore.  As for the horror movie ideas, I think that is an overreaction generated in the depths of misunderstanding.  I have a partner I can trust and who knows me on a deeper level than probably anyone else ever has.  I also know him, the man, well enough to know if my trust is well placed.  Since those two things are well established, I don't really deal in limits anymore.  He knows about my physical, mental, social, and emotional limitations. He works with them to bring me over them, but he will not do something that will break me irreparably in any way.  He will help me process those things that do hurt me.  In most things, though, the simple fact that we went there together is enough to leave me unharmed and closer to him than ever.

lovingpet

(in reply to GoddessImaginos)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 2:30:31 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

A master/slave relationship seems to be a lot different than a sub/dom relationsip, at least according to the arguements I've read about on this board.



Some are. And some aren't. I'd focus more on figuring out what you want in a relationship, finding someone who wants the same things and then figuring out what terms speak to you. While sub part of my nick here, it's a name I made a LONG time ago and at this point I only use the term because most people get a general idea of what I am and do without me having to get into the complex way that we approach our relationship labels. While it makes perfect sense to us, it can take some explaining.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 2:31:30 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		Sir said He would never require me to cross my hard limits.  My hard limits include minors, animals, and illegal things/health hazards.  Other things, i.e. soft limits, I would rather not do, I would do for Him because I trust Him totally.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to lovingpet)
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RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 2:50:43 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: geomease

Just wondering to any of the more experienced subs out there, are there any limits to what you would do for master both in and out of the bedroom.  Obviously you'd try to make your dom happy but are there any areas you just won't go, what would you do if your dom asked you to do something you're uncomfortable with?


I haven't come across any *limits* thus far.

I don't always do things to make him happy, I do them because that's what I agreed. I haven't come across anything that I *wouldn't* do, no.

He does do things that I'm not comfortable with.......I still do them. The cost of NOT doing something he asks is a lot higher than doing it. I might not like the *thing* but I like him and I like our relationship and I've never come out the other side resentful because of it.

agirl

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What are your limits - 10/1/2009 3:10:27 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		Ultimately, my true limits are more about health--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, what-have-you (both His and mine) than specific acts.  That and He prefers a pet who is not passed out, vomiting, ill or uncontrollably hostile. :) 
If some act or direction are likely to cause those things to occur or permanently damage me in some way, i am required to say so.  This is all part of what makes us compatible--these were basic expectations each of us had for a mate. ZX4500 & i wouldn't be together otherwise, i imagine.
"Uncomfortable" is not foreign territory for me or Him. But being merely uncomfortable is a far cry from how We choose to limit Ourselves. Specific acts i listed on my profile as hard limits relate to what i know will produce adverse reactions on a fairly consistent basis.


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


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