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RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 11:44:57 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		When I started this relationship, I had a short list of limits. That was basically: no heights, no needles, no lending me out, no copious amounts of blood, no pee and nothing that infringes on someone else.

Over time the list has become useless. We're in sync as far as what he would ask me to do, so there's not a lot of point in trotting out the list of limits after 9 years together.

So, at this point the only limit is "Don't ruin the carpet". 

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 12:22:13 PM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		Technically there are lots of things I won't do. I won't break any laws, I won't do anything that could result in getting caught in public, no minors, no animals, I won't quit university, definitely nothing from the SAW movies, the list goes on and on.
In real life, I would hope to end up with a man who would never want to tell me to do any of these things, so it won't ever be an issue. It's all a question of compatibility, if you find the right person none of that should matter, limits that match can be taken as read.
I don't see this answer changing once I hit that magical number 26 (other than the fact that I plan to have graduated by then).

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 1:35:19 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		When choosing my Master I made it a point to choose someone I am compatible with. I know him well, including his morals and ethics and what he is capable of. I know his personal code of honor and ethics. I know his limits, both within and outside of the realm of BDSM. Thus, I have no need to project my limits upon him. His limits umbrella me as his slave.

Getting to know the man I would call myself a slave for was vital before I could give up my personal limitations. I can be his slave as his personal limits umbrella me in a capacity I can accept. This does not mean I would be a compatible slave for a different man though. With my Master I have no need to have limits as he is an ethical Master and I am protected in his shadow.

Maggi

(in reply to petmonkey)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 4:24:17 PM   
darquessence


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/29/2009
Status: offline 		Every time I say I have a limit Daddy tells me that I don't have any limits lol in or out of the bedroom. Once I thought about what he said was true.I know that he would never do anything to bring me harm or put me in harms way. That is because I trust him.


(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 6:34:39 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		With love and trust, few.  Generally, the things that I would put my foot down on involve things I believe would do me true harm (Of the undesirable sort).  There are some things that would be a hard sell but with a life partner to whom a particular thing that did not appeal to me mattered, as long as it didn't matter more than me, I would likely be accommodating. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to darquessence)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: What are your limits - 10/3/2009 11:16:04 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
With love and trust, few.  Generally, the things that I would put my foot down on involve things I believe would do me true harm (Of the undesirable sort).  There are some things that would be a hard sell but with a life partner to whom a particular thing that did not appeal to me mattered, as long as it didn't matter more than me, I would likely be accommodating. 
Oh sure, you're all sweetness and no-lmits now. Let's just see what happens after we

send in the clowns


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What are your limits - 10/4/2009 2:07:03 AM   
spookyfe


Posts: 74
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527



send in the clowns



you just burst through my limit clowns would send me running so fast and hiding in the furthest corner possible.


(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: What are your limits - 10/4/2009 6:03:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Clowns? You didn't mention them upfront. Time to renegotiate!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to spookyfe)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What are your limits - 10/4/2009 9:28:09 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
With love and trust, few.  Generally, the things that I would put my foot down on involve things I believe would do me true harm (Of the undesirable sort).  There are some things that would be a hard sell but with a life partner to whom a particular thing that did not appeal to me mattered, as long as it didn't matter more than me, I would likely be accommodating. 
Oh sure, you're all sweetness and no-lmits now. Let's just see what happens after we

send in the clowns



So, I'm calling you in a little while and I'm going to eew and ick at you in voice about this.  At length!!!  Then, just to put myself in a happy warn fuzzy place, I may pontificate about yummy priests.  :> 
< muttering > Freakin' clowns...evil Jeff!!! 
And please note, I am not alone in my hatred of clowns. 
Clown Haters Unite!!! 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What are your limits - 10/4/2009 12:11:03 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael
With love and trust, few.  Generally, the things that I would put my foot down on involve things I believe would do me true harm (Of the undesirable sort).  There are some things that would be a hard sell but with a life partner to whom a particular thing that did not appeal to me mattered, as long as it didn't matter more than me, I would likely be accommodating. 
Oh sure, you're all sweetness and no-lmits now. Let's just see what happens after we

send in the clowns




I have said it before and I will say it again. Jeff is a closet SADIST!!!!!!!! LOL

lovingpet

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What are your limits - 10/4/2009 5:45:44 PM   
DearJessicaD


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/26/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Sure. I'm not eating shit. Before we moved in together we discussed limits and luckily were very compatible about the major things - we're not into making the nature of our relationship public, he wont scar me or break any bones, give me STD's, make me worry he's doing any of those things.

What would I do if he asked me to do something I'm uncomfortable with? That's happened. I've done them. But those things I was uncomfortable with are not the things I listed above, which is part of why we're still together.

(in reply to geomease)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What are your limits - 10/7/2009 12:27:03 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I do have limits soft ones that i expect master to push and my hard ones which are not to be touched. Master and i had a bifgdiscussion about this soon after we met. He asked if i had any limits i told him. He agreed with all but one. Since it is something he really likes i made it a soft limit, but told him i had a bad experenice but was willing to try it again with him. For any0ne else would have been an untouchable hard limit. So our limits match, things i just won't do he has no interest in.

Mat's littleone

(in reply to DearJessicaD)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: What are your limits - 10/7/2009 8:00:24 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Generally speaking, my Master and I are pretty compatible, and I'm working on some of the things he wants but I'm not quite ready for yet. In general, I focus on "how *can* I do what he wants" instead of the limits or "can'ts." There are plenty of things that I probably wouldn't be able to do, or would have qualms about doing, if he asked them of me. So, all you no-limits folks, would you let your dominant put you in a plastic box with airholes, and dump cockroaches or maggots on you? Go up to 1 dozen vanilla women in public places and call them a "fat, ugly whore" if ordered to? Vote Republican if you're liberal, or Democratic if you're conservative, with an absentee ballot so they can confirm that you are voting for the candidates they wish you to? Drink a concoction of chocolate syrup, maple syrup, mustard, and Tabasco sauce at breakfast and dinner every day, or eat the most disgusting food you can think of? Watch a single episode of Barney or the Teletubbies for 12 hours a day every weekend? Poop in a diaper, fingerpaint your body with it, and leave it on for an hour? None of those involve physical damage or illegal activities. Just to clarify, the above wouldn't be as a punishment, just because they find it amusing, or otherwise order you to.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 10/7/2009 8:02:35 PM >

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: What are your limits - 10/8/2009 5:00:49 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Bugs would induce panic attacks in a lot of people, in my book that's causing damage and therefore unacceptable.
Going up to people and calling them names without their consent? Not for me, if there isn't clear consent I don't do it and that includes the watchers.

I could deal with the tv, I'm a parent. I've had to watch the damn dinosaur in the past heaven knows.

The diaper? He'd better be the one to clean the furniture afterwards. However, since he told me no scat play, this would constitue a major change in the dynamic and here, if you suddenly want something you've never wanted, you need to talk about it. That's like deciding after she's collared that she has to become a bisexual poly when you swore beforehand that you understood she was straight and monogamous. In my view, that's a deliberate lie, bait and switch, and clear cause for me tossing the collar back.

If it's something either one of you views as major or it's the opposite of what you've said in the past, it puts us right back into precollaring negotiations to see if we are sufficiently compatible. It isn't always the act, it easily can be not the activity but the deliberate lie that causes the relationship to break down.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What are your limits - 10/18/2009 3:23:28 PM   
sincityprincess


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think you are right in that it depends on the dynamics of the individual relationship.

Many people like to get on message boards and preach about how a "real slave" should act or think. But it is all relative. Some Doms who really consider themselves experienced Masters don't want a girl who would not set limits for herself. They don't mind an opinionated slave and even encourage them to voice them. In my personal experience, the concept of having limits at all defines a relationship as D/s, not M/s, but again you would have a hard time convincing someone who was in that sort of relationship of that concept.

Some people somehow think that M/s is better than D/s or that a slave is superior submissively than a submissive or even a vanilla girl with submissive tendancies or fetishes. They are simply...different.

When I was an owned slave I had no limits. My owner had limits of what he would require of me but it wasn't up to me to try to decipher them or his reasoning. I had "preferences" and could occasionally voice a futile request; such as begging for leniency of a punishment or not particularly enjoying a particular act. But when push came to shove, when an order was given to me--my job was not to like it or not like it, but to obey it. Period.

(in reply to petmonkey)
Profile   Post #: 55
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