RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real and can you use then for reference?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real and can you use then for reference?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real and can you use then for reference?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 6:11:17 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Even then I limit the information to basics unless asked to do otherwise

Hi Scooter,
Tell you what...anyone asks about me you can exaggerate all the positives and downplay the negatives......and I will do the same for you...deal???

Lol...the reality is though that in your case I really can't come up with negatives....you and ShiftedJewel are just the best...and I'm really glad to see you on the board!

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 41

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 6:48:37 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoosierScorpio
So what I am wondering how many people do you know on collarme that could be use as references.

I have found several people I have met, from being active in the local BDSM community, in this message forum. I have also been acquainted with some through other message forums, but never met in person. I could not actually call them my "friends," but I do feel that what I know about them, and through my interactions with them, I wouldn't hesitate to spend more time with them, or have them in my home. I've been acquainted with most of these folks for quite a few years, in the community.

I don't give or ask for "references," personally. I might ask someone if we might have mutual friends/acquaintances. I also enjoy meeting someone, through someone, versus from online alone. It does tend to save time, and you're not going in completely blind.
K

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 42

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 7:06:29 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

Thank you, old Bear. It's an honor to have you say such. I strive to better myself as much as I can, but I"m only human and as many, prone to some failings.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 43

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 8:15:32 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

I know and am personally acquainted with 26 members here at Collar Me.

Of those 26, I could give only three for any kind of BDSM personal reference, although I have never done so.

Texas Maam

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 44

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 9:29:36 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

Out of the combined pile of e-mails I receive here and from other places, I have only deemed to talk with a fraction of that amount via phone, and out of that fraction, I have met only a few. I'm highly critical of character and honesty of motive in a potential submissive. I am who I am, and I certainly won't apologize for it.

Be that as it may, in no way do I feel my criteria so perfectly mirrors that of so many other dominant males; we all have different tastes. Using my unbending standards as a reference would not be wise, not only for the fact that we all seek something different, but that people who we may pass judgment on aren't ever static; they evolve over time—for good and sometimes for bad. This is why references are usually meaningless to me. The reference system is a machine of blind stigma and clique making; it bases its efficiency upon popular reputation, and not necessarily truth. If dominant, make the decision yourself with the tools you have. If you are submissive, prove yourself through action and clarity of character.

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 45

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 9:32:00 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

This came to my mind because a sub I know has been making contact with Doms and Masters who know me on collarme. Every once in a while she will ask me do you know this person and the chances are we have meet at a munches. So hard to remember every one’s screen names also they change them over time. So what I am wondering how many people do you know on collarme that could be use as references. That is why it is important to attend munches and events for these people can be your reference.

In person, probably near a hundred. Use them for references...well most use me as one or try to. People have used me as a reference in the past only for it to come out very badly for them in the end. Just because a person knows my name does not mean I know them.
I'd use zero as a reference.

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 46

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 9:47:57 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I only obtained a 'reference' once in my online life, and only because it was convenient to do so.

It was time to meet someone in another state from a 'vanilla' dating site, and I happened to have a good friend (male friend) living in an adjoining town. I asked the person I was going to meet if he minded if my friend called him to "check him out" (it was said with tongue-in-cheek) and he was more than encouraging. They had a great conversation and I went and had a great time, although it didn't last.

I would have gone, even without the "reference", but I don't think you can ever be "too careful", and since all parties were agreeable and it was easily done, I did and don't regret it. And would do it again.

But no, I don't stomp around the boards and personal ads demanding references. I have met plenty of people (not from CM....yet...) without references. The most important thing is to listen to your gut and heed any red flags that fly.

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 47

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 12:23:07 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: orfunboi

quote:

ORIGINAL:
What? you mean I'm not just supposed to show up with my moving truck and a list of references?

That only works for lesbians, but if i remember correctly you bring the u-haul on the second date....

Dang.. I just knew there were some amazing advantages to being a lesbian.

*sighs* Now if only I could just get over my cock-fetish and develope a vagina-fetish.

*puts her U-Haul on standby*

(in reply to orfunboi)

Post #: 48

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/4/2006 9:08:27 PM

LadyMegaera

Posts: 12
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline

I know at least people on collarme that I could use as references. Of course, these people also know me in real life, but I cannot even begin to say how important it is to take care of yourself. People can write anything and become who they want to be (or who you want them to be). Its not until its too late that you find out the truth. Be careful, join a local group and always set up safe calls.
LM

_____________________________

~Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint...
but not yet, O Lord, not yet!
--Saint Augustine A.D. 354-430~

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 49

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/6/2006 4:11:23 PM

MarinaBlack

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

A hypothetical in a vanilla setting...

Woman goes to a party where she knows most of the people there. Sometime during the evening she meets a man who she finds rather engaging and thinks to heself "Hmm, he seems interested. We seem to have much in common, but man have I been burned before".
During their chat she is aware of him nodding greetings at people that she knows - some of them dear friends. As the conversation prgresses he indicates interest in their meeting again and she is certainly interested, but again...she's been burned.
She accepts his number - knowing better than to give out her own - and after he leaves she asks her friends about him.
I think that makes good sense.
The word "reference" may sound impersonal, but references make good sense.
Think about it, if you hear from a couple of people that you trust that someone you are interested in is an alcoholic or an abuser or anything else you have no use for, whouldn't that save you having to learn the hard way?

It turns out I personally know a number of people here on collarme - have known most through the Toronto scene and the rest I met right here and then in person. I have been called upon to provide references for some of my Domme friends checking out potential subs.
I also like to mention to my Domme friends when I am considering meeting someone in person because they occasionally have some feedback for me.
I recall one situation where I met someone in person who made all sorts of promises and I thought we were a match. He pulled a disappearing act. After discussing this with some of my friends it turned out this was one of those guys who likes to do "the rounds", in terms of meeting, but never comes through beyond that.
Turned out her has a reputation for doing that and I could have saved myself some time had I asked my friends before I actually arranged to meet him.:)

References have their place.

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 50

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 1:14:03 AM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

Sure, I know some folks on here, but using others as references is a whole other game if it violates the privacy of the person. If someone asks me if I know Jane Doe and I do, I will only say something like, yes, she is a nice person... if appropriate.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to MarinaBlack)

Post #: 51

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 3:25:39 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

I personally know many R/t on here that i can use as a reference. Luckily im owned , so don't need any references.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HoosierScorpio

This came to my mind because a sub I know has been making contact with Doms and Masters who know me on collarme. Every once in a while she will ask me do you know this person and the chances are we have meet at a munches. So hard to remember every one’s screen names also they change them over time. So what I am wondering how many people do you know on collarme that could be use as references. That is why it is important to attend munches and events for these people can be your reference.

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 52

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 6:09:54 AM

IceyOne

Posts: 258
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

I know 2 in R/L who are also active posters here.
I don't offer references, nor do I ask for them. Another persons judgement is not what I want. I perfer to make my own.

_____________________________

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.

-Rumi

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 53

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 7:25:20 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

I have met in person 10 people from CM.
Some post, some dont.Some I still see,some I dont.
Only a couple do I not chat with anymore,not for bad reasons,just wasnt a good personality fit.I would still speak highly of them.For they arnt bad people,W/we just didnt have a connection.

I dont have a problem with giving a reference.If a potential submissive wants a POV of a submissive I have met with,more power to them.I do have a submissive who offered to give references,which they have done both with friends and with submissives from here and other sites.

I also dont belong to any BDSM groups...well I do I started My Own.
I dont think not going to a Munch should disquailify A/anyone from being a potential whatever they may be.From what I have seen,these groups tend to be cliches' if you will and can be rather hard to be accepted into.One those groups in the state I live in has more darn drama than the soap I watch.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

Post #: 54

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 7:44:12 AM

needs2learn

Posts: 15
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

Surely if you take the time to get to know people before diving in head first thre is no need for references ........I have none ....... I have not yet met anyone from here ........ I am pretty shy in R/L and would not just turn up to munches or any other such thing on my own .......... so I have no references ........... I am just of the opinion that if you take the time to get to know someone and discuss what has brought you here in detail any cracks will eventually show ........ I would be more wary of the ones who send you 2 messages of one line then insist on meeting immediately before someone else gets you ............. If you are the right one for me then you will come out as the person I want to talk to most therefore all you have to do is be yourself ......if yourself isn't good enough for me then I will move on ........... lets face it us subbies get so many messages the interesting non pushy ones are bound to get more of my time .............. and a reference is only one persons view it doesn't actually mean you are going to get on with that person.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 55

RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real an... - 3/7/2006 1:44:51 PM

wetrope

Posts: 117
Joined: 8/9/2004
From: GATINEAU, PQ
Status: offline

I have met in person with 5, no they are not still my subs, (not all), (not yet), talk regularly with another 9 or so.

_____________________________

Wetrope

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 56

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: How many people do you know on collarme for real and can you use then for reference?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078