RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants?

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 1:49:16 PM

zephyrkajira

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That's okay Lockit, neither did I.....he sure does have a ways to go though....

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 1:52:25 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

We have a comedian in the house! Cheer's! lol

I don't think he's so much a comedian, Lockit, as someone with big insecurities. His profile info indicates he's short and skinny, so that would account for all the bluster. Over-compensating, you know. <Taps side of nose knowingly.>

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 2:07:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Damn. You were really getting some good advice there up to a point. Then, I got to the part that just made Me sit here and wonder what in the fuck's sake happened.

Back to your original. It was probably moved to polls because it's not really a topic that falls under BDSM. The idea that the site is full of nothing but pros has little, if anything, to do with bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism. That may be the type of situation that you're looking for, but the original question doesn't have anything to do with any of those subjects.

As to your question about are there any female Dominants on the site, yes, there are. Oh, My apologies to the 'males are superior' folks, but I don't happen to believe that is the case. There absolutely are Dommes on this site, but you have to realize that the number of them when compared to the number of male submissives is no where near equal. If you're using online only to find someone, you should recognize right up front that you are not on the numbers end. There are more males here than there are females and this means you are automatically vying for the attention of the same Dominant female as multiple males are. That means if you are going to get the attention, you have to be the pick of the litter.

In other words, YOU have to show us what makes you stand out from all the rest. I haven't looked at your profile, but the first question anyone is going to ask you is, what are you offering the Dominant female that you would hope to attract? What makes you more appealing than the other twenty males that have contacted this week with their own version of "pick me, pick me" that have shown up in the mailbox this week? You'll have to take My word on the matter that is on the low estimate side of the scale.

The best thing you can do is not just use online to find someone. It's only one way to look. Be open to going to events in the real world where people can see that you are a real person. If you're serious about finding someone, why would you only stick to one method?

If you are going to only use this site, do those things that will help you. As others have said, kill the negativity. It's not attractive. You might want to rethink the screen name as well. Many of the Dominants here will tell you that play or kink related sounding names are a turn off. If you're not looking for a Mommy Domme/little boy type of dynamic or a situation where you are a naughty boy always seeking punishment, you're giving the wrong impression. They won't look past the screen name.

Also, use the forums more. Not for complaints, but to contribute positively. Those who do allow Dominant women to notice them. It's worked for a number of folks here who are now in cmmitted M/s or D/s dynamics who first started to get to know each other on this site.

Best of luck.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 2:15:43 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught

Sorry. Thought I posted this but it didn't show up. And I know the title is provocative. And I also know there definitely ARE dominant females on CM.

But most of the "dominant" females who have contacted me or who I've contacted just wanted money or wanted me to join a web site which, I suspect, they were paid on comission to recruit members for.

So it brings up the question. Are us sub males really unappealing? Do women just not want us?

I'd rather live in reality than fantasy. I can always jack off over a fantasy, but reality is something I have to live with 24/7. Please be honest.

Legitimate Pros rarely hide that fact that they are pros. No, *IF* you are indeed a *REAL* submissive, I believe you would indeed garner alot of interest

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 2:16:00 PM

Wolf2Bear

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Well said Lady P.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 3:16:00 PM

ShaktiSama

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Joined: 8/13/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught
Allright. Guess I'm just a whiny loser. That's what I thought I was. That's all I'll ever be. I wanted something more, but like many subs, I was just a dreamer. You've talked some sense into me.

I'm taking my profile off-line.

Good. If you wanted something better, you weren't willing to work for it. People who aren't willing to work for what they want and who give up at the VERY first evidence of adversity deserve the shitty lives that result from their wussitude.

Stop blaming everyone else for "convincing" you to be a loser. It's not anyone else's job to convince you to have any self-esteem or common sense.

This is a site for adults. You actually want to see some play time, try acting like one.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:24:20 PM

lilboycaught

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught
Allright. Guess I'm just a whiny loser. That's what I thought I was. That's all I'll ever be. I wanted something more, but like many subs, I was just a dreamer. You've talked some sense into me.

I'm taking my profile off-line.

Good. If you wanted something better, you weren't willing to work for it. People who aren't willing to work for what they want and who give up at the VERY first evidence of adversity deserve the shitty lives that result from their wussitude.

Stop blaming everyone else for "convincing" you to be a loser. It's not anyone else's job to convince you to have any self-esteem or common sense.

This is a site for adults. You actually want to see some play time, try acting like one.

I don't understand your logic.

I asked a question.

I was, for the most part, insulted by most of the people who answered.

But my question was not answered.

Except it was, in a roundabout way. It's all my fault. And if I had any sense, any intelligence, I would not have even asked in the first place.

I'm sorry I did. I didn't mean to upset people.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:29:28 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
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Hey, OP, I recommend that you search out posts by littlesarbonne, Politesub, otterswim, and SlaveKal. They're all submissive men, and their posts are filled with humor, flirting, and just enjoying women. The Dommes here love to chat with them, just because they're fun.

The more you can emulate those guys...

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:33:18 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilboycaught
Allright. Guess I'm just a whiny loser. That's what I thought I was. That's all I'll ever be. I wanted something more, but like many subs, I was just a dreamer. You've talked some sense into me.

I'm taking my profile off-line.

Good. If you wanted something better, you weren't willing to work for it. People who aren't willing to work for what they want and who give up at the VERY first evidence of adversity deserve the shitty lives that result from their wussitude.

Stop blaming everyone else for "convincing" you to be a loser. It's not anyone else's job to convince you to have any self-esteem or common sense.

This is a site for adults. You actually want to see some play time, try acting like one.

I don't understand your logic.

I asked a question.

I was, for the most part, insulted by most of the people who answered.

But my question was not answered.

Except it was, in a roundabout way. It's all my fault. And if I had any sense, any intelligence, I would not have even asked in the first place.

I'm sorry I did. I didn't mean to upset people.

Some of us really did put forth a real effort, but seem to have been ignored. I wonder when I will learn to not give sincere answers to these kinds of questions.

lovingpet

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:35:12 PM

problemchild

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.

< Message edited by problemchild -- 10/4/2009 4:39:24 PM >

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:37:25 PM

problemchild

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.

< Message edited by problemchild -- 10/4/2009 4:39:56 PM >

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:46:51 PM

problemchild

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v

< Message edited by problemchild -- 10/4/2009 4:47:47 PM >

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:48:06 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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OP, how many profiles do you have?

Yes there are real dommes here, and yes we do deeply desire and appreciate a willing, obedient slaveboy...

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:49:55 PM

lilboycaught

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I have two profiles.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 4:57:45 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

*snickers and waits for LaT to find this* I almost feel sorry for you Ares......almost

Get out of my brain, zephyr!!

OP- reread the posts here, esp Lockit's, LadyP's, and lovingpet's. You've actually been given very good advice, but no one can make you follow up, except yourself. Think about it, why would a Domme want to own someone who places little value upon himself, and isn't willing to put in the required work to increase that value? Sitting in one spot having a "poor me" pity party while doing nothing to change the situation is not attractive. Stop it.

Instead, try making a list of the qualities you have that WOULD be of value to a Domme. Are you organized? Can you help her keep track of appointments, certifications, requirements, meds, etc? Can you cook? If not, are you willing to learn? Can you fix things, clean house, give massages/ pedicures/ manicures, run errands, etc?

Stop focusing on kink, and rethink what you want and how you are going about it. Dommes are women, not just life support systems for floggers. Approach them as people first, and you will do much better.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 5:02:10 PM

zephyrkajira

Posts: 238
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Ooops sorry Wyld but you took forever to get here

ETA by the way Wyld there are a couple of screws loose in here *runs for it*

< Message edited by zephyrkajira -- 10/4/2009 5:04:14 PM >

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 5:07:20 PM

dreamerdreaming

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What kills me, is they both have screen names that seem designed to keep "real" doms away. What's up with that?!

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 5:07:41 PM

Lockit

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A couple of us tried in the other thread to give answers but they were deleted with the thread. Now that I see your other profile, this makes even more sense to me... if I was confused anyway. lol Dude... most of us, of an age that would be close to your own, have done our time with infant/children and nonsense. There are some who wish to be mommy domme, but typically even they do not want a problem child. Your behavior is exactly why that is. Your anger is another reason.

Playing the passive aggressive will not get you into someone's corner, but blacklisted by women who may be very nurturing and yet demanding that a man be a man and not a problem. You know most of this... as no one in the position you state that you are and with your background can deny he knows, which makes your behavior even more distasteful as you play the innocent, blame other's for not wishing to take part in your game of ignorance and anger and then be blasted with your false sense of lost little boy of no worth. Poor victimized, misunderstood boy... who created all this for a little attention.

You aren't fooling anyone.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 5:25:12 PM

lilboycaught

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I'm going through this thing now where I feel like nobody understands me and I'm just a weird guy who digs "dominant women."

This thread has taught me that even dominant women think I'm a weirdo. So I was right. Depressing to think I'm going to grow old without a partner, but frankly it's my own damn fault. I can't even be a good subby. Probably because I'm too selfish and self-centered and I admit I am.

But my question has been answered. There really are REAL dominant women. But a guy like me doesn't appeal to them whatsoever.

The sooner I deal with the fact the better off I'll be.

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RE: Are There any REAL Female Dominants? - 10/4/2009 5:27:55 PM

lovingpet

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I can easily fall into that Mommy Domme set, but my little one is expected to behave and work hard to be excellent in all he/she does. This is what I look for.

lovingpet

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Post #: 60